juny

Well, you won't be able to binge like you have in the past, you can have bad meals but really if you were a binge eater there will no longer be 5000 calorie days. Everything you do post op is going to be a matter of going very slowly and mindfully so you don't hurt yourself at least early on. Most likely, this surgery will help curb the screaming hunger that you used to get when dieting. I was sleeved the 5th, and haven't experienced much hunger. What I did experience was severe anxiety about everything post op. I would encourage you to see someone unbiased, ie therapist, about how your life is going to change. How you're going to change. I saw the psych to get the go ahead but I swear this does not replace the ability to be mentally prepared for what this surgery does and what it does not do. I thought being ready for change meant I had the tools to deal with the change, and I don't. It's dredged up all kinds of other issues that I thought I had handled pre op. How do you plan on coping with life when you aren't in your pattern of eating all the time? If you were looking for a just gloss it over post about how you have nothing to worry about...sorry this isn't it. Ultimately, this is just a tool you can use to help you in control. It won't make great food choices for you though, that's up to you.

yay for the double post

I was given torazodone for sleep. It definitely puts my lights out but like a lot of you I'm waking up prematurely. Its getting better slowly. I really need to talk to a therapist. Even though I feel like I made the right decision, when I first wake up I can feel the anxiety running through my body about what magnitude of what I've done. It takes a while to come off if that. Then I'm wide awake and that just adds more anxiety.

I appreciate this thread so much. Post op I'm having a hard time adjusting and its comforting to know I'm not the only one and it should get better

oh noes kati! I have been having trouble sleeping as well. My body finally shuts off but it's far from restful sleep. I'm completely tormented by the tape running in my head that won't shut up. I called the dr office yesterday because I'd had it, they doubled my dose of sleep aid. I can feel the anxiety washing over my skin like a hot flash and it's so upsetting. Sleep was better last night but still a far cry from feeling like myself. I keep telling myself all the reasons why I had the surgery but I'm completely miserable right now. I hope last night went better for you too.

My dr. gave me a sleeping pill, been trying that since last wednesday. Today I called them up because I was taking the pill at 10pm and waking up throughout the night and waking up at 5am totally exhausted. It's become such a mental block for me that it's wrecking a lot of my day. I dread waking up because it's hard and I dread going to bed because it's not helping either. They doubled my sleeping pill dose and I'm hopeful it will help. Getting my protein in and water. Just generally in a funk. It's going to be a while i think.

I'm not nearly as far out as you but I've definitely got the anxiety thing going on. I'm seeing a therapist next week and I'm really hoping he can get me on a path out of the anxiety. I don't want to be medicated, I want to feel like myself. I want to sleep. I'm only 3 weeks out, so naturally I'm the kind of post that sympathizes but can't ultimately help your answer. I hope someone has an answer for you.

I'm sleeping a stuttering 6-7 hours and waking up tired. it's really getting on my nerves because i used to LOVE sleep. It recharged my batteries and sometimes I'd lay in bed on the weekend just to enjoy the feeling. Now it just feels like it's an opportunity for me to play the tape of what did i do to myself. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP

I'm still not sleeping well. I get about 6-7 hours of stuttering sleep and when i wake up i'm still dead tired but unable to go back to sleep. anyone else have this issue?

I'm so glad you're feeling better!

It's hard to be patient when all you want to do is be better. I'm really grateful that I'm not the only one. I've had to sort of limit my perusal of these forums because it's full of people who are just so over the moon and I'm just not there right now. Thanks for the encouragement, it's so appreciated.

So I've started full liquids, which has been helpful. Also started my vitamins and hope that will improve how I'm feeling. I'm feeling better than I did during the first week. The complication w/ spasms in my throat are completely resolved and it helps. However, I feel like somehow I'm in the minority on this board because I feel so conflicted about this surgery. I wish I had a better word for it. I don't regret the decision because at a starting weight of 325lbs there's just no getting around the fact that I needed help or I was going to be on my way to 400lbs quickly. I do wish I had made a different decision at times, maybe saw a therapist on a regular basis before the surgery. I was ready to make the change but that doesn't mean I suddenly developed the skills I needed to be successful at it. I'm still not sleeping well, (i used to be an 8 hour a night person, now I have to take a pill and it's a stuttering 6-7). Physically I'm healing just fine. Mentally, I feel a mess. I'm still crying and getting overwhelmed at times. I wonder if it will ever go away. I've bothered my whole support system over this repeatedly and I can't tell you how much of a benefit they've been for me. I wish I didn't have to burden them with this. I wish I was further out than I am and that I had a clue if I managed to get my even keel back. I wish I could say I missed the food, but I'm just not sure it's the food specifically, I'm not craving burgers or a meal. I guess I'm just stricken by the magnitude of the decision I made and it overwhelms me at times. I'm scheduled to see a therapist next week and I'm hoping I can get the help I need to feel like myself again.

Since May I've been preparing to do this. I did all the preop hoops that are jumped through. Feb 5 came and I had surgery. During the process I felt confident about my choice. I didn't seem to be like everyone else. I don't really have an ideal goal weight for one. I wanted to be able to feel confident about meeting people, maybe dating and starting a family if I'm lucky. I thought this surgery would help change that. It's hard to feel like you can be loved when you don't feel like you can really recommend yourself and say you're good enough. I'm wondering if I did this for the right reasons, does it matter since it's done? Not feeling 100% since surgery probably isn't helping my mood. My mom says once I get back to my routine and properly incorporate stuff I should be fine. Feeling overly emotional and vulnerable. And I'm still left wondering if I did the right thing.

I just wanted to thank all the posters on here, I've found not a lot of posts like this one and it's at least reassuring that the feelings I'm having aren't completely out of the norm.

thanks so much for posting, i'm a little more than 2 weeks out and having a hard time. these posts from long term give me hope that I will eventually get my head sorted out and enjoy the weight loss. Do you still enjoy food and how much can you eat?

2 weeks for me. physically i think i'm fine but can't really be sure, like a lot of other people I'm getting the gurgling when i drink. my dr has me on full liquids for the next 6 weeks. i know i have to do it but it's only adding to my frustration. Mentally, i'm just a mess, during the day i mostly feel fine, but I go through a couple hours every day where I'm just totally overwhelmed with what I did and talking myself out of that hole is not easy. And having done it so often, it feels like a broken record. I have an appt thursday after next w/ a therapist and I'm hoping that will help. I felt ready to do this, every time I talk to myself about why I did this, all of it makes perfect sense but mentally I'm just not there for some reason. I know it will get better but it's been hard.

How much can you eat assuming its solid food and how far out are you?

i've been emotional as well, always considered myself to have an even keel but lately i'm just sad, i know it's partly because I'm mourning food, and because i don't have that i'm wondering if I made the right choice. I know it was the right choice but the anxiety just keeps bringing self doubt up over and over, like a broken record. I'm making a call tomorrow to my pcp for a therapist to get me through at least these 6 weeks of full liquid diet I'm required to do.

so how much can you eat at a year out swimmer? seeing as i'm on a completely liquid diet and only expect to do 2 ounces at a go after it ends...i'm a bit curious how much you feel comfortable eating at a year out.

Yep same thing as others. I had my own moments of 'what have i done.' Believe the part of you that did this to feel/look better. Believe that you made the right choice to take your life back. There's a lot going on in your body now that you don't really have a say over. Don't let the anxiety of future things or the right now difficulties determine how you felt about the decision to do this. Every time you start getting upset, recite your list of why you did it and then make yourself do something to distract. Don't feed the anxiety or the doubt. I'm calling my pcp for a referral tomorrow for a therapist so that I can get a better handle on the anxiety and make a plan to be successful for the long term. It does get better, I'm only 2 weeks out but a big part of my difficulty was that I wasn't sleeping. Once I got that handled, it got better.

How's your sleeping CocoM? Got home saturday afternoon and I haven't gotten more than a 2 hours of sleep together at any given time. I really expected to be sleeping a lot to heal but holy crap. I'd wake up at 7am and go to bed at 1 and then wake up at 3 and then sleep at 4 and wake up at 6am and then be up for the rest of the day. I went to dr for a check up today. he's happy w/ the healing. I was so upset on monday that i called and asked for the psych because this isn't like me and i was able to get to see both of them today. My dr thinks that with everything else going on, the lack of sleep is just putting me over the edge. He said something about how you can put a normal healthy person in a room for a week without sleep and they can become psychotic....very reassuring thanks....So I'm looking forward to that pill he gave me tonight. Anyone else having trouble sleeping?

Actually my belly is doing ok, they used the DaVinci on me instead of the regular laproscopic procedure. i'm healing up very nicely. Had a little drainage at the dr office from a pocket he left but he thought it looked great. He packed the wound and I'm taking it off tomorrow. The belly has been the least of my troubles. The bruising may be from the lovanox since it's a blood thinner you can get large bruises from seemingly small injection sites. But um full strength aspirin? I thought that was an NSAID and no nsaids immediately after surgery? I could be wrong. Apparently they have sugar free full strength liquid tylenol that's that pharmacies can order, i think its called APAP 500. It's over the counter.

hi jeff, hope you're doing ok, this really is a mind game at the end of the day. It's totally normal to be scared especially when it seems 'too easy.' It's funny what we call a cheat now. My cheat used to be a pint of ben and jerry's and now i just want to cheat w/ a Protein shake. I'd kill to be on your diet, they've got me on clears for 2 weeks and full liquids for 6, then a month of transitioning to increasingly solid food. You're doing great!

Yep absolutely hate them. Going to ask the dr if I can get off them early. He wants me on them for more than 2 weeks but I can't go back to work with them in my system at all. They leave me dizzy, disoriented and lightheaded for hours after the injection. Whenever I have to stand, I've got wait before and after just to make sure I don't fall over because it's messing w/ my equilibrium. I got out of bed 10-15 minutes ago, just being in a sitting up position is disorienting. My recovery has not been smooth. It occurs to me that I'm not being fair because it has only been a week, but I'm desperate to feel like myself again. I'm completely run down.

I'm one of the mood swing people! I don't know what's going on, it's very much not who I've ever been. Really a stoic person usually and already twice today I've had 2 major crying jags. The first one was bad lasted an hour and once it stopped I looked around and thought wth? The second was less upsetting but still left me with the whole, where did that come from? Really hoping it subsides soon