Careypea

I just got a fill and I am at pretty good restriction, and i was thinking of lowcarbing it. I have a couple good recipes for bbq sauce but i was wondering what you all used? Or any sauce for that matter that you put on your meat? Carey

I agree on the fancy car with flat tires thing. I have absolutely no restriction. I have had a couple fills (5 months ago), like I said, I am at 6cc in a 14cc band. So I can eat a horse and am always hungry. It is like I don't have a band at all. But I am going in on Wednesday the 1st for a fill, and I plan on actually using my band for the first time. WasaBubbleButt, I thought that calling it a disease, and likening it to a diabetic was very apt. It is so true isn't it? Thank you for your advise. I plan on using my band finally! As for the other, I will always need God first and foremost. He led me here and helped me get out of an eight month cycle of wrong thinking and failure. Now I just got to get through the fill...the nurse is gonna give me the hardest time! Not looking forward to that! It is hard to explain something that is so painful. God Bless! Carey

Thank you so much for your replies. I actually talked to my husband about it last night for the first time. I completely broke down, wailing and gut wrenching sobs. I had not talked to my husband or anyone at all about it because I felt such overwhelming shame. Not shame that I had not lost very much (ironically that was never what I felt so terrible about), but such shame that I couldn't lose the weight on my own. And then the continued failure of trying to lose weight and not succeeding. I just felt like a total loser. I know that I am viewing this wrongly, but I can't grasp that I can't stop. I have quit smoking, and other adictive behaviors. But I just can not stop this. So, my husband told me the same thing that you did. And then I called my Titus 2 type mentor, and she told me the same thing. Why is it that I know it, but I can't get it through my pea brain? Well, anyway, I finally just couldn't keep it in anymore because it was just eating me alive. Today I feel very exhausted, but I am feeling a renewed sense of direction. I am going to go get my fill, and immediatly schedule another. I am going to finally use my band, because I haven't since I got it. I have been thinking of the verse where it says that Satan sifted Peter, and that is how I have felt for the last seven months. I feel like he has been lobbying bombs in my camp and confusing everything. He is truly the author of confusion. So I just have to refocus and get it done. Thanks for your kind words, it was such a help to come here and post it. It was the straw that broke my back seeing on the screen how I was truly feeling. It enabled me to talk about it with my husband and friend. A lot of times unless it is spelled out, we don't really know what is going on inside our heads, and something so small can create such damage. Thanks again! God bless! I will let you know how I do after I get my fill...kinda nervous, I have never had restriction before! LOL crazy huh? I have been banded for eight months and never been restricted! Oh well, at least I know I am all healed up! God Bless! Carey

Hello all. I got my band on July 31st of 08. I struggled for about two years before I got my band because I felt like I should be able to lose this weight without it. And if I got the band and lost weight then I would be bringing no glory to God. That the band would get all the credit. But I got to where I was so depressed about my weight...327 and I am 5'2 that I just couldn't take it any more and I got the band. It took me like 10 days from the time I called up until I got it (because I had done the testing the year prior). I am currenly 298lbs. I have not lost hardly any weight. I am so embarassed and ashamed. It is all my fault. But it is still the same struggle. I have never been restricted. Oh a couple times I have been unable to eat something, but for the most part, I can eat anything at all in big portions. The reason I have never had restriction is because I set myself up for failure. When I was getting the band I told myself that I was going to strive to be one of those people who never have to have a fill, that way they can't say that it is only the band that enabled me to lose weight. Then I got a fill...but only allowed myself a small one because I still felt like crap for having the band. And then I got another small one. I think I have a 6cc fill in a 14cc band. But the point is, I am still doing the same thing. I just feel so defeated, that I have no hope. Oh I know that there is no problem too big for God, but I just feel like I am never going to succeed. I feel so confused, and ashamed. I am trapped in the endless cycle of yo yo dieting because I have never utalized my band. I got it and have never used it. I still feel guilty for getting it, and I feel like crap that I can't lose it without it. I feel like I am a failure as a Christian because I can't stop. I have a fill scheduled for April 1st and I feel so consumed with guilt over going in and doing this. I keep saying to myself that I don't have to go get a fill, I can do this. But I only fail. I am stressed to go in and get my fill because the nurse is going to give me a lecture and I just can't deal with it. I just feel lower than dirt and I can't talk to anyone about it. I just wish this would all go away. I am so tired of food and being fat. Thanks for letting me vent. Pray for me, I just want to be okay with my band and use it, but I still feel so guilty for having it. Carey

I swear I feel like I have the devil/angel on my shoulders. This is my dialog...in my head. "this is going to be great! In a few weeks I can wake up and have some oatmeal, then for lunch I can have a lean cuisine, and for dinner I can have the meat/veggie portion of whatever I am making....great...great...good...good...not so good...okay when i go back on solids I am going to have some chicken nuggets from wendy's...no..no...eating good! this is great! Maybe Low carb? No weightwatchers style! You know what??? I am not going to worry about it. I am going to eat Breakfast, like oatmeal! then maybe a LC and then whatever I am making for my family for dinner...Poppers sound so wonderful!...no no..." It is ridiculous! I am going to go to overeaters anonymous (sp?). There is one by my house. I don't know if others who have succeeded have felt this way, or if I am just more vocal about my shortcomings...:eek: I do appreciate this site though, I feel better being able to vent about how I feel to someone who can understand (hubby is a tall toothpick!). Good luck on your pre op! You can do eet!:w00t:

I was banded on 7/31. I finally made up my mind to get the lap band, and called up my surgeon and made the appointment for the surgery…two weeks. I pigged out for almost a week. Then in the last week before surgery, I lost 10 lbs. I am going on vacation in like 2 days, and everyone was trying to talk me out of the surgery because of vacation, but I knew that if I didn’t do it then, under pressure, I would never do it. I would never stick to the pre op diet. Well here I am banded one week (no I have not cheated! J) and I just feel like a fraud next to all of you. I mean, I read you guys *gasp* ate a regualar chocolate pudding instead of a sugar free on accident! *cry* And I am sitting here at home watching tv, and an Arby’s commercial comes on and I want to cry because I might never eat a Beef n Cheddar again…then I console myself with the thought that I can still eat a couple poppers! I really do want to succeed, but I do have to say I think it is kind of silly for people being excited that they can’t get down water, or can only eat ½ cup of food. I want a NORMAL relationship with food. I want to be able to eat anything, but in moderation. I really would like to do something along the lines of Body for Life. Small portions of protein/veggie/carb and have a cheat day once a week where I can have my poppers or a Sundae. But at the moment, I am SERIOUSY mourning food. I even dream about it every night! I was dreaming last night that I was two days post op calling the surgeon because I ate a whole cheeseburger! I really don’t want my life to revolve around food. Everyone keeps asking me if I am excited, especially because I have lost almost 20lbs so far, but honestly, I am not excited. I am scared sh@#$less! I am totally scared, I don’t know what to do. I am mourning. I am hopeful but scared of it at the same time. I want to succeed, but I am scared to want it because of being a failure for so long. Does anyone else feel that way? Did you feel that way when you were one week post op, but now are different? Carey

My chant is now..."Let me just feel normal...please Lord!" :biggrin: I am such a baby about feeling light headed. I also keep thinking (a little desprately), I know this will go away, lots of people exercise with the band, they have to breath right??? Isn't it funny? It has only been a couple days since my surgery and I am trying to pep talk myself that I won't always feel this way. Silly me! :smile: I recognize that I am being silly, but I still feel that way anyway. Carey

I am doing that too. When I quit smoking I grieved (sp)...man it was awful! You would have thought my best friend had died. With this I am just starting (banded 7/31) to miss food. So far my family has had McD's, taco bell, lasagna, and garlic bread. I was really hungry at dinner and wanted some of my husbands cheseburger in a bad way, and I never thought I would be satisfied with my cream of chicken Soup and applesause, but I was. I know in my head that I will get through the missing of food, after all I never think about smoking anymore, but it seems impossible at this moment. :biggrin: Carey

Hello all...I need some advise. I just had my surgery on 7/31, and I am not feeling really great. I feel light headed, and little bit sick to my stomache, and I can't get a DEEP breath because it feels like I have a huge lb weight just under my boobs. Did anyone else feel like this? Does it go away? I am not sleeping because it is not comfortable, and so I am feeling kind of pathetic. help? Carey

I just got banded on 7/31. Doing good so far, gas pain sucks, can't really tell when I am hungry, full, pain, etc. But I still feel really good. My husband (not banded, he is a toothpick...hate him!) and I are going to be getting ourselves those $50.00 visa gift cards you can get at the grocery store, every payday. Mine is the money I am saving from eating, and his is the money he is saving from not smoking. When I am at goal, we are both going to buy ourselves new wardrobes and makeovers. I think it is going to be exciting. I can't wait for it! Carey

Hello! I am being banded on the 29th at the North West Weightloss center, by Dr. Montgomery. Getting really excited! Was wondering if there was anyone in my neck of the woods! :wink2: Take care all! Carey

Hello! I am so glad that I found this thread! PTL! My name is Carey, and I am a stay at home mom to three great kids, and a fabulous husband. I have been battling a weight problem for the last 11 years (started with ppdepression after I had my daughter). For the last year I have been struggling with the idea of getting the band. Last August I went through all the tests and had a September date set, and then a week before the surgery I backed out. I have a lot of unsaved people in my life, and some who are saved and battling their own addictions. I felt that I had this HUGE problem that if I could just move myself out of the way and let God handle it, then what a testimony it would be for the Lord. Maybe some of my loved ones would get saved! 1 Cor 10:13 says "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." In my mind I felt that I would be sinning if I chose a different path (ie. lapband), never considering that the band might be my way out. I was so afraid that in my hugest accomplishment I wouldn't be a witness for the Lord, because when I do lose my weight, others are going to ask me how I did it and then when I say "lap band" they will shut down and all talk of God will mean nothing to them. My friend/mentor told me flat out that I was being silly! That maybe this was my way out and remember Luke 16:31 “But Abraham said, ‘If they won’t listen to Moses and the prophets, they won’t listen even if someone rises from the dead.’” Just because I give credit to God, doesn't mean they will turn to Him. People see God's divinity all the time, and they still don't believe. But she said that maybe MY walk with the Lord was what is most important right now. And the scripture that keeps coming to mind is Mark 9:43 If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one hand than to go into the unquenchable fires of hell[i] with two hands.[j] 45 If your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one foot than to be thrown into hell with two feet.[k] 47 And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. It’s better to enter the Kingdom of God with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, 48 ‘where the maggots never die and the fire never goes out.’ I have to stop sinning, and I won't do it on my own. So I can't keep beating myself up for needing the band. Just like it would be better to pluck out your eye, or cut off your had, maybe it is better to band my stomache. So, I gave it up to the Lord, and I called my surgeon back, and I am scheduled for the 29th. Although they could have gotten me in as soon as the 14!:wink2: I am giving it to God and if He doesn't want me to do this then like you said, He will put roadblocks in my path. But so far, I got my date, my stuff is done, and my ins has 100% approved and covered my surgery. But I am still scared to death. Thanks again for this thread and saying what you said. You made me feel so much better about my decision and now I know Satan is tormenting others with the same lie he has tormented me with for the last year and a half. God CAN get the glory even if I have the band. God bless you all! Sorry for the long post, but I apprently needed to unburden! Thanks again! Carey