victorious1

Thanks Di! I see your coming along with your journey too. Best wishes to you!

Hello Everyone, So here's my story....... I'm 28 years old, 312 pounds heavy and 5 days away from surgery. Being overweight is nothing new to me and I've been on what seems to be a continuos failing diet since I was about 11 years old. Being the big girl is nothing new to me and for the most part has been a major part of my identity. Over the years I've wrestled with being confident and loving myself (on the outside) regardless of my size and I do. However, I could never quite face myself, my naked self, and honestly say that I was satisfied with what I saw before me. There has always been a curiosity in me that wondered what the real me looks like up under all of this. I never thought I would do this surgery thing. While I have long since lost the optimism that I suppose I should have when dieting, I always thought of surgery to be a bit drastic. But somehow, I came across some information about this procedure and the more I learned it didn't sound so bad. (Especially when I learned that my insurance company would cover it in full!) I initially struggled with making the decision to actually do it, but then one day something just told me to go for it. I don't have any major health problems, but do I experience periodic swelling in my ankles. I'm also told I have elevated blood sugar levels that are not far from being considered diabetic. This is the heaviest I've ever been and while I know how to work with what I've got, I'm simply tired of being in this club. So here I am. Day 9 into this liquid diet and five days away from surgery. The thought at a real chance to finally reach this lifelong goal seems surreal. Oddly I haven't struggled much with the liquid diet because every time I want to cheat, I just think about how much better this victory will taste. My goal is to get down to 160 lbs. So that's 152 lbs that I need to lose. That's a whole person! But I know I'll get there. I named myself Victorious1 because I consider this battle to be already won! So that's me........

That's understandable. All I can say is that while it's important to have support, you are the only person that has to live in your body. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. I don't think that it's an easy decision to make, but it helped me to just come to the conclusion that I no longer wanted to be a prisoner of my body. I look at people that are heavier than me or just as heavy that have all kinda problems and I just don't wanna deal with that. I can feel this weight and not only am I tired of dragging it around, I'm afraid of what it will do to me. I wish you all the best as well. I hope that whatever you decide, you do what's best for you.

I have PCOS too. My surgery is on the 10th and I am eager to see if weight loss will decrease my symptoms. The heavier I've gotten the worse they've gotten. I hate the facial hair the most. I am just about obsessive over removing it. I'm use to the irregular periods because they've always been like that. It's encouraging to see that it's worked for you guys and to see that you have children too! (I always feared that maybe I couldn't have them since they say that the PCOS can make it difficult to conceive- but then again, I'm not ready for any just yet either. lol)

<p>Today is day 8 of the liquid diet for me. I am amazed that I have endured it this long. My surgery is on the 10th and even though these 8 days have gone by pretty quickly, it still feels lightyears away. I have no idea how I am suriving this liquid stuff, but I am. I think I am just so excited by finally having a chance at winning this lifelong battle that the thought and vision of that accomplishment tastes better than any solid food that I want to eat. I really don't feel like I'm starving. I really haven't even met my daily quota of liquids yet. But I do what I can. This had really made me realize how attatched I have been to food. I can't really look forward to it like I use to. It's like it was such a major part of my agenda and now it's gone. Mentally, I feel so much stronger because I've been able to make peace with this transition. It's wierd that I've been so good and so committed to this, but all the other much less restrictive diets never worked. Go figure? I'm having the Upper GI testing done tomorrow morning. They told me I have to fast after midnight. Ha! Bid deal!</p>