I wish I could claim this story for my own but alas it is my best friends mothers life and I cannot steal her crazy stories since I have none of my own. They bought a pet monekey one year for Christmas. The type that dance when an organ player plays. Well, they had this monkey for a year and it loved thier dad. Their dad was an alcoholic and so became the monkey. He would put his finger in his dad's beer because he knew he could finish it off that way when the dad would not drink after the monkey. The next Christmas all of the kids came down the stairs Christmas morning to find their drunk monkey named Elvis passed out in a pile of Christmas paper cause he had opened all of the presents, crapped on em all and then passed out drunk in the papers. It was their worst Christmas ever!! I just think this is the funniest story in the world...had to share!