jackie506

Karla I would never get upset at you for asking questions like that. Courtney has been seeing a counselor steadily for 2 years now and off and on before that and she has seen a psychiatrist off and on since she was 11 and then steadily since she was 15. Along with medical doctors of course for diets and etc. But anyway, to answer the question, yes they have worked on why she over eats but I don't know that they ever got to the bottom of it. It is one of my hopes that now that the surgery is done and she isn't over eating she will eventually be able to recognize what it is that triggers her to want to eat. She will continue with psychiatrist and counselor as she says they really help. Thanks!!

Gonna get cold tonight. Had to clean out the camper and winterize it. Ready to be put away tomorrow night at my SIL. Really tired again. Been an active day. It was great seeing Court smile and laugh so much. We went to the gym today and got the paperwork to fill out to join. I am filling it out tonight and taking it along with the check tomorrow. YAY!!!!! I love going to the gym! Just let my membership run out cuz summer was here. Time to start again. 7 days a week baby!

Really good day for Court today. Showered and feeling better. Drain tube out Thursday. They say that is the big turning point for gastric by-pass patients and they start feeling better. She is really happy and high spirited today. Went to town with me grocery shopping and done errands came home and helped her shower. I just needed to wash her hair and she could do the rest. Big improvement from the last shower. So anyway, pretty good day. Lots of work done with the house and work today. Good day! I will check back later.

Janet Beautiful pics! You look faaabulous darling just faaabulous!!:thumbup: Phyl-oh the whoas of a man! Arent they all critical of others and pissed off at the world all the time. HUGS!!! We give you permission to sneak away and go shopping. I may look into the wii fit plus. I really thought about getting the AE sport thing. It had rafting and things outdoors I think. I thought that would be fun. Maybe for Christmas. Steph- hugs honey hugs!! My thoughts are with you. I know how hard it is to raise a teen. As a mother you do the best you can for your children and that is what you are doing for Micheal. HUGS HUGS HUGS!! Well better day today. I am not so whiny feeling......yet! As I said yesterday was rough. I went through this whole thing 'why is everything so damn hard for Court! She lost her dad so young, dealt with weight issues and is trying to do something and now suffering.' I was exhausted! Had MANY good cries and fell asleep about 2:30 this morning. Woke at 8am so now many hours but it was a restful peaceful sleep. I needed it. She has drank 6 ozs of just since getting up at 8 with me. Getting herself in and out of the chair and done some walking. Is having some nasea but gave her a reglan. She says it is a 'bit' better but she is gonna try resting and see how it goes. Keep telling her this is just part of it and she will be so happy with the end results. She told me today she doesn't get how a lady we know went threw gastric by-pass and then blew it right out of the hospital and she lost her weight but also regained it. Court says after this pain forget it I want something for the rest of my life out of this like I went into it. I smiled and said when the time comes, because we all know that it will, that you want 'just a little more' and 'a couple pounds isn't much to gain' remind yourself of the pain that you went through and why and I will be there reminding you as well. She laughed and said 'great now I will never get my mom off my shoulders telling me what to do!:cursing: She is in pretty good spirits today and my smiling girl. Really kinda worried about school this semester with being gone for 2 weeks. She was talking about it earlier and worrying and even though I am worried as well I tried to reassure her that she will do the best that she can do and if she does not pass due to absense she will redo it. She did talk to the professors but it is still quite a bit of time. Working from home the rest of the week. Cancelled all outside office appointments so I could be here. Have plenty I can do so I am good. my employer is sooo awsome and supportive. Told me to do what I need to do and not worry about using my vacatin. They know I go above and beyond (again OCD) and always doing something with work. Well I am off. My MIL is comming to set with Court so I can go to the bank and gonna treat myself to a FF SF Latte today. Realised last night that I really haven't been eating since Courts surgery day. not even 500 calories a day! Down another 4 lbs. Making a mental note to make sure I am eating my meals and taking care of myself as well. Could have been some of the reason I was not dealing to well yesterday. I got a fill last Friday and just not hungry. Loving being comfortably restricted again! CBL. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

OHHHH what a day!!! Court had a rough night sleeping last night, woke up this morning sore as hell and naseus. Waited it out and then she started to have dry heaves so called Dr. Went in right away. She was severaly dehydrated. Started dry heaving in the office pain was absolutely unbearable! They decided to get some IV fluids in her with some Reglan for the nasea and then have some labs drawn and an upper GI done to make sure no tear or leak. that all came back fine. They then gave her roxicet liquid for pain while finishing her 2nd bolis of fluids. Swallowed it and threw up. So they call dr back and he gives her 2 different meds, (sorry so frantic I can't recall the names right this second), one was to stop the nasea and the other was for pain and to calm to stomach. They shoot it into the iv she goes out like a light! Then the oxygen thing and blood pressure thing so off. She was so relaxed out of it from the med she was forgetting to breath so we kept rubbing her arms and trying to rouse her. AND THEY WERE STILL SENDING HER HOME THEN AND SOMEONE WOULD HELP ME GE HER INTO THE CAR!! I yelled at the nurse (usually I am very polite) and said we aren't going anywhere until we get her awake enough that she is breathing steady and her pressure is up. I don't have a F$%#ing oxygen machine in my car. Nurse was nice put her arm around me and said we would keep working with her to get her roused. I said call the dr I think she needs to stay. We came in here because of severe dehydration and she still isn't able to take things by mouth meaning she will dehydrate again. Nurse called dr said discharge the meds should work and if she was sick again tomorrow call and bring her back. My dr was out but his fricken PA was seeing Court. The same PA who screwed my band last May. Dr would put fill in it was to tight I go back for a slight defill he wasn't available PA was she took ALL fill out and said come back in 2 weeks. Did this same cycle 3 times!!! Anyway, back to Court. She starts rousing. Higher than a kite but breathing fine no nasea and pain is totally gone. We sat there another hour just to make sure things were staying stable. We are now how she is on the couch and says a few minutes ago 'mom I feel naseus. So gave her a regland again orally and hoping it will stay down or we're going back to the hospital. Lord help me get through the rest of this week and next. She should be on the high road to recovery then. I am really worried because she is taking in NO nutrients. How the hell can she heal that way? Took my max on anxiety meds. Need to go to bed. I am so exhausted getting up numerous times during the night and day. I am so sorry for the whining I just need to cry it out!

Just wanted to tell everyone goodnight and to tell you all I feel so good. I have really made up my mind that I want someone who treats me well and is a companion or I don't want anyone at all. I mean the kids are my companions now and they will soon leave home and I will be damned to live with someone and still be lonely. My thoughts are I might as well live alone and not be irritated that I am lonely living with someone. Karla thank you for the compliment of Court and I looking like sisters. Can't wait to get into the gym with her. This will be beneficial for both of us! Phyl I know what you mean about offering clothes to others as we 'under' grow them. I just didn't offer. I know I should have but I couldn't think of one person around here that would not have been insulted so mine went to a second hand store. Heck most of my clothes CAME FROM a second hand store when I was really losing. Court and I have discussed this as well. Janet-so glad your weekend went well and you are safe back at home. Doing great on my food choices and I have even kicked up my water again. Gotta be a good 'role model'. My son hasn't been home the past 4 nights because ya know Austin and hubby usually don't get along so I didn't even chance it when we went to the hospital. Had enough on my mind. So anyway, he has worked the past couple of nights and Court can't eat solids yet so I had a smart ones and hubby fended for himself. He came in from hunting tonight and asked what we were having for supper I said 'meatloaf and mashed potatoes' he said 'that sounds good' i said 'well ya better go to town because I only have one smart ones of that and it won't be enough for both of us'. He is so lazy he didn't even eat!!! That is what he does. If I don't cook he will make microwave popcorn or leftovers or a pbandj sandwich. Oh well bout time he takes care of himself. I raised my kids let his mother finish raising him or make him grow up! And on that bitchy note...lol.....I am heading back to bed to wonderful dream land! Night all!!!

Sorry I don't know how to make the pictures smaller. If anyone knows how plz feel free

Saturday morning 2 days after surgery surgery holding room before surgery Karla I forgot to answer you question earlier. Yes Courtney has blonde hair.

ALAS I am awake enough to update everyone. I have been so exhausted from all the up and down through the night in the hospital and then last night at home!! I get up and do what needs to be done and set back down and ZOINK I'm out. The weather doesn't help either. It has been cold and rainy for a week now. I guess fall has really set in. Makes me really tired. Ok, Court got out yesterday morning. Dr came in and told her how impressed he is with her with how much she had been pushing herself so soon after surgery. His nurse from the office came to her hospital room to see her and tell her how excited she is to watch Courtney progress. Walked constantly while at the hospital. She did great!!! I had to stop at Wally World quick on the way home for some whey protein and told Court "I will be right back" she goes ' hang on I am going in I need to walk anyway." WOW! She walked around Wal Mart for about 15 minutes and went to the Jeep. Fell asleep. Got home and she was pretty uncomfy from the damn roads they are tearing up. Got her settled and she slept alot meaning mom slept alot too. LOL I would wake her up to do that breathing thingy and walk and sip sip sip and back to sleep we would go. Did take some pain meds yesterday. Today up and walked quite a bit and helped her shower. Threw my swim suit on and got right in with her! :smile: I was getting soaked otherwise. Got her done and powdered up and dressed and then she walked again, sipped sipped sipped, took some more pain meds I gave her a backrub, done the breathing thingy and back to sleep she went. She is doing very well. She did not want to take the pain meds at first because she said you didn't take them when you came home. I told her everyone's pain tolerance is different and yours was a more invasive surgery. If you hurt take them. That is what they are there for no reason to suffer. She goes "must be a mom thing because we didn't help you in and out of bed and shower and all that. How did you do it." I said it was hard but I had to but your my baby and I am enjoying this mom and Court time. So all is well she is resting again. I have slept so much! I work from a home office and have a couple meetings outside the house in the evenings this week so someone will be here with Court other than that I will be home. On another note. I have been doing some real deep thinking. I decided I do deserve better and if hubby doesn't want to be social and part of this family (me and he kids) so be it. I don't need him. I am 36 years old and will not live lonely while with someone for the rest of my life. Court said something the other day at the hospital and it really got me thinking. I am back into the 'I am in charge of my life and I will not accept or settle for things I do not like nor want' (at least the things I can control). So that is my weekend in a nutshell. Sorry so long a post. Just missed talking to you all and feel like I have soooo much to tell you all! Muah! Love you all. Thank God I have found my way back to my Lucky #7's. I really missed all of you!:thumbup:

Hello hello hello!!! DH just brought my laptop to the hospital. Had to report. EXCELLENT day today. Still NO PAIN!!! and hasn't had any pain meds. They are calling her their super star patient. She has walked most of the day and is getting out of bed on her own. Things are going in the right direction. She is very happy!! and mama is too. My baby is on the health track now! I walked down the halls across the hospital and got a fill today. Yup I believe I am at my sweet spot now. I am down 12 lbs so far. feeling great. Dr is impressed. I am so REMOTIVATED!!! Can't wait to hit the gym! Gave Court her gym membership card and new Nikey's she had wanted but didn't know i had ordered today. Told her this was a gift that will keep giving. She was so excited and has told everyone what her gift from mom was. Well Better go. I am really tired. Hospital bed is ok comfy but would rather have my pillows. And as bad as this sounds I am enjoying my time here.......it's like a vacation for me. No house cleaning nagging at me, now work and my daughter is ok so I am enjoying some R and R. TTYAL

Day 2; perfect! Court still doing great. Hasn't had nor needed any pain medication. Says she has no pain. The nurses are amazed at how much walking she did last night!! She pushes them so she can go walk cuz they have to be with her. Up today Barium swallow complete. Waiting on results so she can have something to drink. Still NO PAIN so no pain meds. Doctor is very impressed with how much walking and says she is very determined and will be a success. Very proud of her. She is even getting in and out of bed by herself. The more the better though. Work those muscles.

Peaches we will be here 2-3 days. Our insurance paid for all of the surgery except for 128.00. Court thanked the doctor and said 'am I really going to be healthy now?'. He said yes and she started crying thanking him. Then she just asked me if they really did the surgery and I told her yes. She wanted the blankets removed so she could see for sure and she started crying again and said 'it really happened!'. Tell dr glasscock thank you so much. Then she says 'he didn't take anything else out tho did he?'. Lol. She is definately happy and still loopy.

Ok he just came out. His words 'nice smooth boring run of the mill surgery. Just like we like it!' In recovery iuntil 7

She's done!!! Waiting for doctor to come talk to us and Courts in recovery. Thank goodness surgery is over!! Now she is on the mend! The gave us a private room with 2 beds at no extra charge so I can stay with her and have a bed. I was staying anyway jusy figured I'd have to sleep in a chair. I will keep you all posted! Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! I love you all!

Good morning Ladies. Slept terrible when I finally slept. Got back up at 6am and finished ALL of my September paperwork. I am so happy I won't be stressing about that and have to come home to that. I have several night meetings next week and lots of annuam plans to write up from each meeting so no time to deal with the other so I HAD to finish before leaving. Now I will not be taking any work to the hospital with me!!! I am done and have nothing for work to do until Monday. I am so happy about that. Sometimes the kids think that I am always focusing on work (having a home office has its advantages and disadvantages) so I am glad I am caught up and ALL focus will be on Courtney. She will need it. She is in great spirits this morning. Raring and ready to do this. Me I have taken 2 doses of anxiety meds. I am feeling better. Just had a pep talk with myself and reminded myself that she is doing this for the same reasons I did and look how it has changed my life and I want her to have the same thing. Brings piece of mind to me knowing that. Still scares the shit out of me but if it didn't I would wonder what kind of mother I really am. Well sorry so short but have to run. Have errands to do before leaving at 11am. Later everything and thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!

Ok almost 2am and I am just getting to bed. Worked all friggin day! Fired her....she bitched how she does her job and etc. I'm over it now. Came home, cleaned the whole house again, packed, wrote progress notes for september and done billing for september, done payroll and schedules. Mind you all of that usually is drawn out over a few days but I can't go away knowing it is undone and waiting. My OCD is in over drive right now even with my meds. I am sure it is nerves and everything going on. I have had about every emotion known to man today and now I am exhausted! Talked to DS *,5 DH tonight about getting along while I'm gone. I am freaking out with them 2 being home and me not hear to make sure things are ok. Calgon take me away pleaseeeee! Janet have a safe trip Karla I agree with Steph go to doctor and forget the credit score. Take care of yourself. Phyl you just amaze me! Congrats on all the walking. Karajh woohoo no soda! Awsome job! I am down 2 more pounds tonight. Happy about that. Really am jealous that you have all met and my dumb ass didn't come to MOA when u were all so close. Now with one in college and the other driving and etc prob be 5_-6 years before I can go anwhere! Oh yeah forgot to tell you all....tomorrow was the day I was supposed to fly to los angelos to visit my cousin. Couldn't afford after we got court enrolled in schpol. Oh well I will be with my daughter tomorrow right where I need to be. Hugs to all. I will keep you updated from my blackberry from the hospital. Please say prayers for my little girl tomorrow!

Steph I am soooo sorry and don't ever think your issues and hurts are any less important than anyone elses. We are here for each other. Hugs gf!!! Did they recommend anything you should do since you are unable to eat? So what's their solution?

Good morning all. Well I got the call that all the big wigs have signed off on the termination paper so I am going to go pick it up and have called staff to set up a time today to meet. I guess it is best to do it now since tomorrow is the start of another month and new documentation. HoHum. I really do like this person but I do do my best to keep personal and superviser roles seperate and I do a pretty good job. I thought that part would be hard for me but I have been pretty good with changing hats when needed. I know what my job is and I can't afford to lose mine so I am able to carry through. Not going to be easy because as I said EVERYTHING is a crisis with this person and this really is a crisis so yeah......... Janet if I do not get to talk before you leave have a safe trip and I will be thinking of you. Again so sorry for your lose. Karla DOCTOR DOCTOR DOCTOR!!! I am not really knowledgable about prolapse but it doesn't sound good so I would be getting to the doctor! Good luck and hopefully you can 'go' soon. Phyl where are you? Haven't heard from you today yet. Peaches is at work so not able to check in due to the 'watching the net'. We miss you Peaches!! Well I better get. Need to get dressed and go to main office and then meeting with some staff today and the meeting with THE staff today (hopefully if she calls me back. She left a message this morning she would not be working tonight-sick. day 3 this week now). Last day before surgery. Antibiotics and totally clear liquids with no color today. WAHOO we are finally close. I want to be on the other side and Courtney to be done! Hope everyone has a good day today! I will prob be back tonight.

Hello all!!! Sorry I have been MIA but I tell you this week is flying by and I am crazy busy! Trying to get end of the month/beginning of the month stuff completed in a very short time since I will be gone and it is NUTS! I have a staff who I had to give a verbal warning to in August about absences and then sept 3 a written (missed 8 days in August) and today our team was discussing the absences in September so far (4) and it was decided I will be terminating her. This is the part of my job I hate! She is a single mom and always asks for more hours and then calls in. I have done everything possible to make things workable and even offered less hours so she would not have such a full schedule (in which she declined stating 'no I need my hours I will make sure I am there') and now we have no other choice. Just feel bad for her. Just makes me want to shake her and say damn it what are you thinking?! Your good at what you do when you are here but the problem is you are not here often enough and now you have left us no choice. She can be very hostile and everything in her life for her no matter how big or small becomes a major crisis so I am not looking forward to our meeting. I set it up for next Wednesday after Court was done and etc so I wouldn't be fretting over what I am assuming will be her reaction and the things I know she will be saying to me. Sometimes I think I liked being on the bottom of the pole and no one noticed me and I did my job instead of on the top of the pole and having this particular responsibility. It is my job though and I took the job knowing this was part of it. She took her job knowing the expectations of attendance so I have to remember that. Ok enough of that....I am sure you don't want to hear of my emplyment woes.........sorry........ Well on a happier note I am happy to say I am down 6 lbs. Finally losing again. I am more conscious now though so it is my fault I have been at this stand still. Will be walking to the clinic from the hospital friday morning for a slight fill and hopefully that will put me at my 'sweet spot' again. Courtney drank her bowel prep today and all the antibiotics tomorrow then surgery day! She is excited.....I am a basket case! I am better now. Just a very emotional thing for me.....and TOM just started so that doesn't help because that always makes me a bawling emotional mess anyway. LOL Went and bought our gym membership today. Didn't tell Court because like I said the other day that is my gift to her after surgery. I can't wait! She told me she is trying to save money to buy a membership and I figured what better gift to give someone after wls?! Anyway, so sounds like everyone is having a pretty good week. Glad to hear Steph's band is ok. Janet so happy you will be able to go to your aunt's funeral. You ae in my prayers. Carla I am going to talk to the doctor about those b shots Friday. I am ALWAYS worn out and I want to try them. I take a B complex vitamin 3 times a day and it does nothing for me so I need a boost. Karajh so proud of you and no soda. Awsome job. I know how hard it is to give that up. I still have to have a diet pepsi hear and there. Takes me forever to drink it but I still have one once in a while. My TERRIBLE habit is McDonalds sugar free ice coffee. I am MUCH better than I had been doing. I was drinking 1 a day. Now maybe 1 sometimes 2 a week. I know I know still bad but I have to have some indulgence or I will feel deprived and then WATCH OUT! Well ladies it is getting late and I need to put myself to bed. Puppies are waiting for their last trip outside and then snuggling to read with mommy for a bit before lights out. TTYAL!! Hugs!

Karla my antidepressant takes all sex drive away so I don't care about that for me. LOL. I say it is the meds but often wonder if it is the man and the lack of companionship thing. Never did a one night stand and thing are pretty quiet between us so I think that's how it would be. Lol. Honestly he really isn't a bad guy. He helps clean and laundry and anything I askl of him he does it is just the antisocial thing. He is more like my friend whom I don't talk to much. My roommate. LOL Phyl that is a wonderful story of your grandchildren. I am so happy for your DD and DSIL. My SIL did the invitro 5 times and no take and she said the doctor told her she may be able to conceoive if she lost 50bs. She thinks their nuts and if it is meant to be it will happen so they have stopped all fertility treatments. I did not talk to her about when researching wls I read that many times. Just didn't have the heart and I know she prpob knows it is true. Ok.middle of the night and my little doggie is sick. Justike mama he I believe has allergies. going on day 3 of yucky eyes and just woke to him coughing under the bed. Keep using warm hot washrags on his eyes to wipe the gunk out. That however has really slowed since I haven't had to do that since yesterday afternoon. Just gave him baby benedryl and gonna cl the vet in the am. They are just like my kids for me so now he is laying on his back in my arms wrapped in his blankey and we are rocking waiting for the meds to kick in. Yes the vet told me to give him benedryl before and how much. Anyway just wanted to check in with you all. Rock for a bit and back to bed.

Peaches so glad you have a great time camping. Sounds fun. I also like my marshmellows black so I limit myself to one marchmellow but I burn it black, skin the black off and burn it again a couple more times. Seems like I get more that way.:smile2: Janet so glad you are going to the funeral and meeting more family. It may be weird at first but you have common threads so those will help with the small talk to get people more comfortable. Phyl so happy to hear how well you are doing after knee surgery. NO CANE!!!! Awsome! Today was a rough day. I am such a sap! Started cleaning and just bawling for no reason. Thinking of Court and surgery, their dad, and blah blah blah. TOM is ready to rear its ugle head and I get emotional EVER month the week before and during. Courtney said 'what is the matter with you? Mom seriously you need to get a grip!' LOL I had to increase my anxiety meds today. VERY VERY anxious while at Wally world and when I got home. So anyway, not such a great day. I am so exhausted now due to the increase in meds, crying and just ready to go to bed to end this day. So on that note.......goodnight my dear friends!! Love you all and appreciate you being here for my rants and whines the last couple of days. GEESH I really need to pull it together!:smile2:

May be the kitty is just scared and needs to get used to the new surroundings. Sorry you are getting grief for doing a nice thing.

No it is not silly to want to be loved. You deserve and and you never know........it could happen when you least expect it. I am sorry to hear about the families and the drugs. My 1st DH was such a wonderful dad to the kids. We worked opposite shifts all the time so that one of us was home with the kids. He was fine cooking meals doing baths homework and all the things that are many times left to the women. He truly was a HANDS-ON dad and he loved every minute. The kids many times will bring up things they did with their dad while I was at work and I treasure their memories because that is something they got to share with him that they now share with me. Janet your right we don't really have a marriage. We are more like room mates. We have no common interests now. He is almost 12 years older than me and I should have considered that I guess. He is just such a quiet person who sticks to himself and the riverbanks or hunting during those seasons. There is nothing wrong with that but ya know I want conversation once in a while. I can ask him something and he answers but we don't just converse ya know? I know he loves me but I find myself constantly thinking about when the kids move out on their own with their own lives. I am lonely and I have the kids and him living here. The kids keep me on an even keel. What happens when they are gone? I already know that answer.........I will be so lonely. I have told him on MANY occasions that when the kids leave if he does not act like a husband or an adult he can move his ass down the hill back in with mommy and daddy and I am going on with my life. I will be 38 years old. Like hell is I will settle for the rest of my life. I have had a hell of alot more in my life before and gave that up so I sure as hell won't 'settle' for less. WOW IT FELT GREAT TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST. lol:tt2: oK THE BROOM IS YELLING AND THE VACUUM CLEANER IS GETTING ANNOYED WITH ME (LOL) BETTER GET!:seeya:

Janet so glad you got to relax. Bout time. I like massages to. I carry my stress in my shoulders and neck so it is heaven'y when I go. Always have to do the full hour though. Ok so I am cleaning today AND Wednesday night. I can't take it. Just got off the phone with GF and she said she needed to go to hang bedding on the line and finish her cleaning. I can't help it. The impulse is strong. At least it is not a destructive impulse huh? I get this 'anxiety feeling when it is cleaning day. Need to get it done need to get it done kinda thing. LOL At least it keeps me away from the food! So I am off to clean clean clean! Beautiful sunny fall day with tempts in the higher 60's. Light breeze with fresh air flowing threw the house. Lovin it!

Thank you so much!! Some nights are just like that for me. I may be remarried but it is not a 'fullfilling' marriage and really lonely. He is not a social person to others NOR us living in the house so when the kids are gone for the night and I am feeling that way it is really hard. You are right I was very fortunate. Thank you again!