jackie506

Peaches this is the poem I was talking about. It just said what I was feeling for me. My Forever Pet There's something missing in my home, I feel it day and night, I know it will take time and strength before things feel quite right. But just for now, I need to mourn, My heart -- it needs to mend. Though some may say, "It's just a pet," I know I've lost a friend. You've brought such laughter to my home, and richness to my days. A constant friend through joy or loss with gentle, loving ways. Companion, friend, and confidante, A friend I won't forget. You'll live forever in my heart, My sweet, forever pet. *Susanne Taylor

Peaches my heart goes out to you!! I know exactly how you feel. Like I said we lost one of our precious yorkies in March and I was just a wreck! Took time from work and cried and cried for days. Heck if I am looking at pictured or talking about her I STILL tear up! I had her cremated as well. Bought a very nice pet urn off the internet at a pet cemetary and she is home with me. The urn has a place to put a picture of her in and I had a plaque engraved with the poem "my forever pet". I chose between that one and rainbw bridge. That is an awsome poem as well. Hugs hugs hugs t you during this time. Some people don't understand what others pets mean to them. I am sooo deeply sorry for your lose.

Well worked all day in the office. I am sick of this crud and figure maybe making myself move around and do things will make it work its way out. Hacked all day but only threw up twice! Made hubby go to pharmacy for refill on cough syrup. Drank a cup of chicken broth today. YUM! NOT!! I am getting so tired of soup! Hubby came home this afternoon complaining of sore throat with a fever and coughing now. GREAT!! On a good note I got ALOT done in the office and a major jump on the week since I was gone last week. Janet you have been quite the busy bee today! Good exercise! Peaches and Karla-I keep losing my posts too. Irritating!! Well need to go set in a hot bath and then going to bed. Have a big meeting in the am. Not looking forward to it. Really hoping I don't hack through the whole thing. That is so embarrassing!!! Night ladies!

Try this post again. Tried it from my Blackberry and it wouldn't work. Getting really upset with that! Janet-yes I know you say things with love. LOL My OCD has always been a joke with my friends and family so it doesn't bother me. Sounds like you had a lot of fun shopping. I need a retail therapy day I think! Phyl- your doing so well with the walking! I agree with Janet you just have to build up the muscle. Hell like you said 10 years of most scooter I would say your doing excellent with the walking for 30 minutes! Karla- I need to grocery shop like you do. Try to get everything for the month in one shot. I hate the frocery store! I find myself picking up my old habits and walking around with them in the cart for a while and thinking about it and then putting them back on the shelf. Needless to say grovery shopping can take me a long time sometimes! Well I over did yesterday. Not feeling so hot again and last night was rough. Up until 6am this morning coughing until I would throw up and sweats and chills. Getting so tired of this!!! Most of the time I work out of the home and wouldn't you know it that this week I have meetings and have to train staff outside of my home every day this week. Getting pretty depressed about being sick and staying home. Feeling crappy and feeing crappy about myself today. No exercise for the last over a week now, not very good meals and not very productive. Yes my OCD is really bothering me today. Just gonna lay and relax today and try to mend. Part of me wants to just get up and go and beat this crud that way but the rest of me says 'no we are to tired lets just sleep until it goes away!' I am not sure how the week will go if I don't start getting over it. I am sure it is just a virus as I have been on antibiotic for 7 days now and still have it so it just has to run its course but come on!! Janet you are right about the swine flu. They say it is just like the regular flu but some people are so freaked out! One of my GF really pisses me off about it and how she goes on and on and last week when they were testing me she acted mad about me because I might have had it and had been around her. Like I would have known and intentionally exposed her. UUGGHH. Anyway-sorry for the whining. Just feeling really sorry for myself today. Going to pharmacy to refull the cough syrup and rest for the day AGAIN!! CBL ladies!

It drove me nuts that I hadn't deep cleaned since last Sunday. I had to clean! Lol. Besides all those sicky germs needed cleaned out

OMG I am alive!!!!!! I feel so much better today. Fever broke yesterday and slept well last night (only up a couple of times). Got up this morning feeling pretty good. Done to much and was up to long and needed a nap again this afternoon so napped for 3 hours and feel soooo much better! Got up and cleaned the house top to bottom and sprayed the lysol over everything! Washed all the rugs and gave the dogs a bath. Still coughing but I figure that will last a while but my sinuses have opened up and they are really draining. FINALLY!!! On the road to mends. GF called and wanted me to go out tonight I had gone out with her last weekend) and told her nope have to stay in finally getting over this crud and figured need to stay in for the whole weekend out of the rain and crap and continue to recoup! She has been sick as well but nothing like what I had she said. Feel bad because another friend I have not seen in about 3 years had her wedding reception tonight (got married in Vegas) and I didn't go to that either but she was sooo understanding. Well I am off to go read. Candles are glowingand house smells so FRESH!! Love it!!! Gnite everyone!!!

ok I posted from my blackberry but it didn't show up?! HHMMM So I was feeling better and even hungry. Decided I wanted to splurge and eat Chinese so ordered Generals Chicken extra extra spicy to drain the sinuses and it is my favorite. Was so looking forward to my son bringing it home. Fixed my small dish sat down took a couple bites and NOPE I lost it. This is TMI but the extra extra spicy burns like hell coming back up! Back to broth for me. not tonight maybe tomorrow. Need to just move slowly but really wanted my dish! DANG!!! Oh well....hubby and son are eating it now. LOL

Peaches so sorry for your loss. I lost one of my fur babies last March and I had to take some time from work I was so distraught. They are members of our families and many of us are very avid pet lovers here so we all feel your loss. Hugs to you and hell eat what you want right now. Find comfort where ever you can. Well after I posted the other day I ended up in the ER that night. I couldn't breath and my temp spiked. They again ran the N1H1 test because doc said I have all the symptoms and they have been getting alot of false negatives with the test. It again came back negative and he told me he was not ruling that out because I have all the symptoms. he did not diagnose it was and would not diagnose it wasn't. Done a chest xray and that was clear and some blood work. White cell count was elevated but not real high. Gave me a nebulizer more cough syrup and some meds for vomitting and another med for diareah and sent me home. I have slept sooooo much this week it is unbelievable. I am feeling a tad better today and have gotten out of bed but I am just exhausted yet. The cough is still terrible and I go into coughing 'fits' as I call them and the syrup doesn't even help with that. Still running fevers so my body is trying to fight whatever it is off. I have now been on antibiotic for 5 days but then again if it is viral the antibiotics won't help. I have been a shut-in all week and plan to continue through the weekend in hopes of kicking this the rest of the way. Well I am on my way back to bed for a nap and snuggling under the blanket with my fur babies. I have to say the kids and hubby have been great in regards to helping get my 'daily' cleaning done. They were not real considerate until after I had to go to ER the other night and then I think they realized how sick I actually am. My little furries have kept me company and snuggled with me the whole week. HAHA I am turning them into lazy bed dogs. I will check back in later or maybe tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well. Our weather is terrible cold and rain rain rain and that hasn't helped a lot.

Hello gang. Sorry been MIA but have been sick. I don't even know what I posted the last time and I am to tired to look back so forgive me if any of this is a repeat. My uncle who was 37 passed away late last Friday night early Saturday morning from lung cancer. Vey sad. We had his funeral yesterday. Sunday I woke up not feeling the best. Made it through the day but the night was awful and by Monday morning I was really sick. Called dr's office 3 times and finally they talked with me and said they were booked solid so needed to go to walk in clinic in another town that didn't open until 5. They wanted me checked for N1H1 because I had all symptoms. I didn't feel 'fluey' though and told them I had been out all through the night Friday night with family and lack of sleep and etc. Anyway went and sat for 3 and 1/2 hours with a mask over my face and people avoiding me like the plague to have a 10 minutes test done to rule of N1H1. They took the test and an hour and 15 min later told me it was negative. I have bronchitus and severe sinus infection. Running fevers and hacking constantly. Haven't barely even gotten out of bed since Monday. Yesterday long enough to go to funeral and back home and just got up now and wanted to post. Gonna lay around and rest again today. Still have a fever and this is day 3 of antibiotics so hoping it starts kicking it. Court is doing well. She is stalled with lose but we all know that happens. Healing is going good. She's back to school and work and being Court again. Steph~I am glad that there are limits with Micheal calling his friend and making sure he calls you. I am sure like most teens he would rather avoid those conversations with you but those are the ones he needs to work on. Sorry to hear about your back. Candice~ poor puppy. They become our children don't they. I get lonely for my pups if I go away so needless to say I don't go very often. Karla~ I agree with Janet. Teachers are so important but appreciated so little. Janet~sorry about the 2 day cut a month. Thank goodness it is every other Friday instead of every Friday. It will be kinda nice to have a 3 day weekend twice a month though. Enjoy it. Nothing you can do to change it so might as well enjoy. That sucks about your gym. Phyl~congrats on all the shopping you did AND WALKING!!! you are amazing. My SIL just had double knee replacement yesterday. She wanted to do them both at once because she knew after doing one she wouldn't go in to have the other done. Hubby thing is what it is yet. No luck on housing. We have agreed to live together but seperate for right now. of course now he wants to work things out and is kissing ass but his demon head with my son rears its head every now and then and I know nothing has nor will change. Hugs to everyone! I miss you all!

Hi gang! Sorry I have been MIA. My uncle passed away last night. 37 years old with 5 children and passed on from lung cancer. I had been out with the girls drinking and playing beer pong when I got the call. Thank goodness I had slowed way down and started sobering. Terrible night. Court is doing wonderful with the healing . She is having some pain tonight but I think she over did last night when my cousins little boyu wanted up on the couch and Court tried to help him by pulling him up. Now she is hurting on the one side so taking it easy today and taking some pain meds. I brought my mother home to stay with me until after funeral and then for a while afterwards. As I have told you all before she has severe depression and does not deal with stress and life very well. It has been many years since she tried to committ suicide but I will take no chances. Been very quiet at my house today. Mom and Court have slept alot and Austin was with my brohter. I cleaned the house and made a casserole to take to my aunt and her children and then made some home made potato ham soup. Very tired tonight and getting ready to head to bed. Did not get home from uncles house until 6 this morning and back up at 9am so time to rest. Situation with hubby is same. No luck yet on the house hunt. I filled out loan papers to borrow to buy and hopefully I am approved. I will find out Monday or Tuesday and if I am approved they will give me an amount to stick within while searching for a house. Cross your fingers for us. If I am not on in the next few days I am just busy with the caous right now. Take care everyone!! Love you all.

Hello everyone. Just checking in again. Just returned home from a late meeting. Yucky rain and snow going on. IT'S OCTOBER!!! Way to early for that. Gonna be a long winter. Peaches excellent food choices today. Your supper sounds yummy. I am hungry. Karla so sorry to hear of your past love. HUGS again today. Girl you can't catch a break today! Janet I am so envious of your weather right now. I am supposed to come to LA to visit a cousin sometime and I am thinking it has to be when it is cold here so I can get away from it. LOL Well off to watch Greys and Private Practice. Have a great night everyone!

Karla~hugs. HIS loss!!! You are an awsome women so definately HIS loss. And you chose grapes over chocolate. Good for you! Took a nap and feeling better. Many calls out on housing. Hope to get the hell out soon.

well back from the bank. Crossing my fingers about being approved to buy. I won't know anything until tomorrow. Sit and wait today. You guys are all right about it being time. I know it will get better but it just seems dark now. Oh well! Sorry for so much complaining Janet congrats on the normal weigh in. You are so disciplined! Karla enjoy your day off. Steph look at the positives of being able to have the relationship you can with the younger ones. You are older now. I know if I were to have younger children now I would be much more attentive than I was when mine were young. We appreciate more with age. Peaches glad to hear no reflux! That sucks and makes for a long night when you get that at night. Well I am going to try to work some today. Very tired so hopefully I will sleep tonight. 2 hours in 2 days just isn't enough!

well as I said.....came home drunk jackass!! Called me names and told me my kids are pukes. Went down the hil to his mothers. She came up then and I told her what I think too. Told her the caudling him does not help the situation and him and her can blame me and the kids all they want but they better look at his past relationships as well as ours and see that the problems were alot of how he treated the women and her kids and see what the common denominator is. His mom said 'I am not getting in the middle of it' I said you already did by letting a almost 50 year old run home to you and you being here. Make him grow up!' So needless to say not financially ready and no clue how I will do this but I am house hunting. Called him the morn and he blames me (of course) for everything and blah blah blah so I guess it is happening sooner rather than later.

Sorry quick post. I will go back and read later. Week from hell at work so this will be short and sweet. Court is doing great. Feeling better each day. Some pain in the left side. Goes to doc Friday. Weight is down 29 lbs. Hubby left tonight after I told him I want a divorce if things can't change for the better. Been talking about this for quite some time and tonight he told me he can't live with my son and I need to find a place. So long story short I am looking. Called a lawyer today, amicable divorce will not be very expensive and since no kids less. Have to do a $900 retainer but they said we would get money back. I am sure he went drinking tonight so wondering what the hell kind of mood he will come back in. Wasnt ready for this so fast.....not sure how it will play out but we will be ok! So tired. Didn't sleep last night but an hour. Have some things to finish up and then heading to bed. I will CBL when I have more time. Love you all and miss you!!! Food choices are not very good......been so worked up haven't BEEN ABLE to eat!

OK gang sorry haven't checked in for a couple of days. Really busy. Court is doing great. Doing walking and wii fit. Still can't bend all the way over but sleeping in my bed each night so she is able to sleep throughout the night. She gets to start mushies on Friday and she can't wait! Went out with the girls Saturday to a Welcome home Party for a friend who has been to Iraq 3 times and returned home a couple of weeks ago. They now live in Kansas but drove home to have the party. Had a blast seeing so many people from my past. My hubby refused to go with me was an ass all weekend and I think he thought if he didn't go I wouldn't but I thought screw you......got all dressed up and went. Got MANY MANY compliments on how I looked and hit on by many men and felt great. DH was still an ass when I got home and it hasn't stopped. Whatever! I am loving life right now! It is so cold here. I now have an annoying cough I can not get rid of. Well bettter get. Need to get some things ready for tomorrow. Have a conference all day for work 2 1/2 hours away so I want to be packed and ready when it is time to go. TTYAL

Steph~yeah I couldn't believe the MILF part either. My girlfriend looked at me and said 'what the hell if MILF?' I was so embarrassed to tell her and laughing. Yes Court and I are finally in a good place with our relationship. We had it VERY rocky since she was 14-15 years old. She has grown alot as have I. She is more mature and sees why I wouldn't let her do this and that and etc. I feel really good about how things are between us. She calls me when she is away just to say Hi or What are you doing. We have found that closeness we used to have. My son on the other hand is 16 and 1/2 and unfortunately I am going through the same issues with him as I did with Court. No respect, thinks he can do what he wants and etc. I know you all know what I am talking about. Can't wait to get to this stage with him.

Janet I am sooo sorry about your morning woes but thank God you and Andrew are ok. What a stressful day you've had. Today has been a bit of a fun day. Went to get my hair done and Court called while I was there and said 'how much longer are you going to be because me and Nana (her friend) want to see you. Told her it would be a while. About 20 minutes later I get this text with Court pointing to a vehicle that had writing on the window that said "can I get ur number" Showed it to my friend (beautitian) and we laughed and I said I wonder who would write that on their window. Then I kept looking and said "OMG that is MY JEEP!" Court and her friend decorated my jeep with streamers and plastic rings and wrote with that window paint all over my jeep. HAHA I wasn't mad it was way to funny to be mad. Check the pics out on face book. Other than that went to try shopping for shirts/tops today. I have nothing. Of course I hate the new styles and after 5 different stores I came home. Does anyone else tend to find themselves wandering to the plus size section because you like those clothes styles better? HA I even tried a large on from the plus section because I really liked it but it was a no go. So after all that time there I bought some perfume and came home. Hence no tops yet!

Ok so didn't go back to bed. Sat up and made was doing some budgetting to see how much I will be able to pay for rent when I leave. I plan to wait out this school year for Austin to get finished. By then plenty in savings and able to pay my bills no problem with money left over. I am so FREAKIN excited. HAHA I know that sounds terrible but I am a total planner and I have it all figured out now.

Morning everyone!! Early morning for me. Puppy had to go outside at 5am and I still can't get back to sleep. Karla I am with you on the snow issue. Ilive in Iowa and I HATE snow. Lol. Guess I shouldn't complain since I have chosen to stay here but darn it gets cold and the winters seem longer and longer each year! Well Ourt slept in my bed last night laying down. Can't get into hers yet because it is so low and mine is quite a bit higher. She fell asleep watching tv about 8:30 last night and has slept all night until a few minutes ago. Says she feels really rested. First all night sleep she has had. Hair appt this am then gym then chart review. Not looking forward to the last part but has to be done! My charts are in order just have to double and triple check them (OCD!) So that I know they are in tip top for our survey the end of the month. Talked to dr about b shots. He wants to check my labs first before giving me one. I have the paperwork just haven't went to the lab. Also on my to do list today. Well gonna try to fall back asleep for an hour (sorry Karla I know you are exhausted). TTYAL

OMG what a long day! I am sooo tired. Dreary rainy weather here and makes me want to stay in bed! That and the fact that I am a night owl and don't go to bed early. LOL Well drain tube is out and Court is driving. She went to visit friends today and one of her friends went to the gym with her. She said she is having no pain now and Dr said everything looks great! Well all just wanted to update that tid. I am really tired. Gonna shower and relax. Oh btw Peaches~I don't see this DH becoming my best friend. He holds grudges and will never speak to me again when this is done and over with. Good ridence!

The kids dad and I divorced 2 years before he passed. It was a very crazy relationship we had and to much explaining. Most people just don't get it. LOL Anyway I will try to sum it up best as I can and I still will not be able to get the total impact across. The phrase 'better friends than lovers' can not describe what we had. When I left him we both knew that we still and always would love one another and never be able to love anyone else that way but we just couldn't LIVE together anymore. The night of my divorce I went to his home and he comforted me because we both knew we had done the right thing. I know crazy. But its true sometimes when you love someone soooo much you have to let them go and that is what we did. And once we did we became BEST friends---I have never had a friend like he was. Someday when I get to come to one of the 7's get togethers I will explain it all. So I know how hard divorce can be because it tore me up. As my counselor said 'you have to grieve a divorce like a death and everyone grieves differently.' We still had all family holidays together at one of our places and I had even started seeing someone else and was living with them the last year Steve was alive. As a matter of fact when Steve got so sick my BF at the time and I brought Steve to our home and we BOTH took care of him. Believe me there were many people that thought we were all odd and etc but for all of us it all came natural. Steve and I had promised each other before we ever got married that if we split and divorced that was how we would do things and still raise the kids TOGETHER because we had both come from divorced parents who faught over us and knew how that made us feel and there was no way we were going to put our kids through that. We were told many times 'the way you guys are isn't normal' or 'why the hell did you get divorced'. HAHA Anyway with this one.....no way will it be hard. It honestly has never been a marriage. I am very independent so I would never have joint ANYTHING with him. Money, loans, NOTHING. When the bills come each month for household (electric and etc) I divide them by 4 and he pays 1/4. He will NEVER be able to say he paid for anything for me or the kids. When we redecorated 2 years ago I went and borrowed the money for the furniture and I paid for it because I guess I always knew deep inside this would happen and I sure as hell wasn't splitting my stuff and have always told him that and he has agreed. I did not want to get married. I know dumb!! I was in a bad place after the kids dad died and my BF and I had broken up and I started dating this one. After a little over a year I thought to be a good mom I needed to show my kids commitment was ok and 'make' us a family. Hubby asked and I said no many times. Then the thoughts of the kids took over and I truly did it for the kids. I cried to my friend over and over and over how I didn't want to do it and to my mom. There response was cold feet etc. The day we were leaving for Vegas I went to my moms and cried and told her 'only until the kids are 18 and then I am out. My heart was never in the marriage. I mean I loved him.....but not enough for the commitment I made. ok so sorry......such a long story and I could go on all night.......but I won't. Bottom line......yes my mnd is made up and BOTH my kids want this as well and no this time I am not doing something just for the kids I am doing it for myself as well.

Steph I am glad you will be able to get Micheal the help that he needs. Good luck and hugs. Court and I walked a mile and a half tonight!!! She is down 13 lbs and feeling really good. Drain tube comes out tomorrow. She wants to go to the theatre tonight. LOL I am feeling good. I made my mind up. Gonna get some financials paid off in the next few months and I am OUT!! Lovin life and feelin good for making a decision. Just can't stay with someone who wants no communication of companionship. I want better or I want to be alone! Thanks for listening ladies!!

Court is having a good day. Grumpy cuz she didn't sleep well last night...gas I am sure from so much moving around yesterday. Still sleeping now and it is 11:30. I should be working but just am not motivated to do it today. Was up really late last night couldn't sleep. Finally went to sleep at 4:50am last time I looked at the clock. So damn mad at the man that lives in my house. Not calling him my hubby anymore he is ...the man that lives in the house. Tried chit chatting last night....no responses until I got pisssed and yelled. Anyway whatever. Carla that is so sad. I bet those parents were devastated. They are looking for support and a plan and opps teachers are off work....we will continue another time. Good for you for staying to talk for a bit. I have a friend with a little girl with downs and she is really struggling with the school right now. I feel terrible for her. Phyl congrats on the walk. You'll be dropping weight like mad! Steph checked in on face book. She got home last night. Well I guess no one is around this morning so I better get my buns up and sweep and vacuum at least. UUGGHHH!

Janet~ When I start the gym (anyways this has been since the band and over 2 winters now) I do go 7 days a week. If I skip I feel 'guilty'. I know I don't have to go so often but truly I like to. Gets me away from Hubby and out of the house. It is MY time. Especially since I work out of a home office. I am home so much I look for ways to get out. LOL Yes Court can be OCD like me in some ways. She has her quirks. LOL Today was better. She got 6 ozs of diluted juice in, then 8 ozs of Protein shake, and 8 ozs diluted oj for potassium and is almost finished with her bottle of Water. All Vitamins in except for 1 and she will take at bedtime. She took her drinks along with today. She really had a great day. Lots of laughs and smiles. I agree with you on the protein thing. Drinks don't keep me full at all. I need the solid protein. I do sometimes drink a carnation instant Breakfast (sf) in the am for the protein but that is so I get the protein because I am never hungry until supper. I have never been one to eat until night and unfortunately I went to bed after eating. HAHA.