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Thank you! I will check it out. I've tried losing on my own and have been successful, only to regain the weight over and over. I've always been deeply offended by the notion that those of us who struggle with obesity are just not trying hard enough. Most naturally thin people (like some members of my family) have horrilble eating habits, but don't gain weight so they just don't understand my battle.

Thank you for the thoughtful response. It helps!

Thank you for the advice. I am mostly conflicted about discussing this with my elderly parents (85 & 88). They are both doing okay, all things considered, and I just didn't want to have them worrying about me. They know something is up because I am not at work. So far I've only told them I had a hiatal hernia repaire (the truth, but only half the story).

What I can't figure out is why I am so embarrased about dong this. That is contributing to my anxiety. I feel like I want to keep it big secret because it shows how weak-willed I have been about losing weight and then gaining it right back. I had to resort to surgery. Maybe I am beating myself up too much. I will take your advice and sort out my feeling in a few days.

Well folks, I did it. Surgery was the 16th and I am two days post-op. All went very well. Just had incision pain. No nausea, vomiting, cramping as of now. I'm using a 15 min timer my Doc gave to me to remind me to drink. I need to get 52oz in today and 64 tommorow. I am learning to love jello again (hasn't been my favorite). I am also drinking Propel Fitness Water, diluted applejuice and white grape juice. I will be make some broth later. Had a bit of 'freak out' moment this morning. I panicked and thought 'what have I done!' It was a very disturbing moment. I am better now and hoping I don't have another one of those episodes. Good luck to all the rest of April Sleevers.

Jimmy, My surgery is tomorrow, April 16th. Am on all clear liquid diet today. I followed this thread a week or so ago and shared my anxiety and indecision. You and many others were kind enough to give me feedback and pose questions to help me work through my worries. I am still scared silly, but am committed to doing this and living a healthy, forward-looking lifestyle. I will probably not sleep a wink tonight. Have to be at the hospital by 7 am. Surgery is at 9:30. Reading through this forum has helped me prepare mentally for possible post-op issues. My thanks to all the April Sleever's for their support, encouragement and sense of community. It has made a real difference for me. I will keep you posted on my post-op experiences. Best to all and save me a place on the loser's bench.

Jimmy - I thought through your questions and answered them above. It was an excellent mental excercise to go through. It was very thoughtful of you to take the time to write them down and reply. Thank you. My heart says 'go for it - you need to get your life back', my head says 'what are thinking, taking such a risk as surgery'. I have my pre-op tomorrow and will have a heart-to-heart with my Doc. Thank you again for your support and voice of reason.

I am scheduled for April 16th. Still conflicted and scared. I feel like I shouldn't risk a major surgery that isn't 'necessary'. Although, if I don't lose this weight and keep it off, I will have health problems later in life that will make the surgery worth it. I am really having a tough time with this and I need to get to a better place soon.

I am scheduled for the 16th too. I keep wavering between anticipation and fear. To be honest, I am still conflicted about going forward. This is elective surgery and I feel like I might be taking an uneccesary risk. I have never struggled with a decision so much in my life.