Bluejean

I am a lil behind on posting as I was not to encouraged as this week I gained weight. I have read plenty posts about the dreaded 3 week stall or weight gain but I was convinced I would beat it...Not...
 
But all in all it has been a good week. I started eating soft foods and it was a welcome addition. Eggs with cheese was my first meal. I have made some othe recipes from Emily Bites andTheworldaccordingtoeggface. Most of them have turned out pretty good...I even managed to eat some shrimp and handled it okay considering I did not like shrimp pre-surgery...However at 21g of protein and only 1.5g fat and 4g carbs, it will become a frequent visitor on my menu. Still eating about 2-3 ounces of food before I get full and still adjusting to making sure I chew my food well to avoid that stuck feeling in my chest. My body still has not figured out how to resume regular bowel movements. I could probably lose a few pounds justing taking a good ole dump...lol TMI I know...My heartburn has also become more frequent over the past couple of weeks so I am resolving to taking priolsec or something of that nature with my daily vitamins. I started but stopped but realizing at least for now this is not possible.
 
This week I hung out with my cousin who had lapband surgery in Jan 2012. She has had minimal success with it. I was so amazed at how much she could eat compared to the amount I was able to eat. Now mind you she had 7 months on me but I still thought our eating habits would be the same. I took a high protein, low carb potluck dish over it went over well but all the things she made were so high in carbs or fatty. She also tend to graze which all the reading I have done said this is a way you "eat around" your band or sleeve. I also notice that her pantry was riddled with things I would be afraid to bring in the house because all willpower would be gone...I do not say all this to judge but i do so it to say that even with the surgery we have to still exercise healthy eating habits. The surgery is only a tool and if we do not use the tool properly it is unable to perform as intended. I was careful not to judge her because I did not want to come off as a surgery eating expert after just 4 weeks of diet compliance. It was just an eye opener to be cognizant to not let my old eating habits that led to me being overweight erode the sleeve.
 
On to the good news...I started out my journey a size 18..Well, this week I got into a size 13/14 jeans I had bought about two years ago...A phenomenal feeling that was...so despite having gained two pounds this week, I looked over it as I twirled around in the mirror 4 sizes smaller than I was a month ago...And so many folk are noticing the weight loss and that too is a really good feeling. Something that nags at me is that thought no less than 20 people have told me I lost weight, my ex-boyfriend has not acknowledged my weight loss...I know he is an ex and I should not care...Obviously there was something that put him in the ex category and it wasnt good so I should let go. Easier said then done but that is another story.
 
I also measured today (09/16/12) and was pleasantly surprised at those numbers as well. I first measured on 08/23 so just under a full month
Neck -1 in Thigh -3/4 in Hi Wasit (just below breast) -2 in Natural Waist 2 in Belly Button (Abs) -3 3/4 in Chest 1 1/2 in Hips 2 1/4 in Biceps 1 in Shoulder -2.5 in.....Total Inches Lost 16.75.. :D
 
VSG 08/17/12
HW 232 08/13/12
SW 227
CW 210.4

Today and tomorrow are the last days I will be able to eat whatever I want. My surgery is 9/26 and I should have started pre-op on the 12th, but I mistakenly had my mind set on ten days' pre-op so I am sticking with that. The psychological willingness to do this seems very fragile to me; i.e., not the surgery itself, but my part in changing my lifestyle.
 
I am a compulsive overeater, addicted to food, seeking comfort. I don't see how surgery is going to change that; yet it is a last ditch effort. I quit drinking; I quit smoking; I don't want to die addicted to food. I don't like being a slave to it. I want to get out from under this addiction, and that is the hopeful goal of my surgery.
 
I know that once established healthy habits become the norm and preference; at least that's my past experience with it.
 
So, there's all that. I am counting on prayer to pick up the difference between what I can do and what I must do. That's how I got through drinking and smoking withdrawal, which can be and were for me lengthy and torturous. Or, you could just say, I was a mess, felt like I was losing my mind. God got me through it ODAAT.
 
But I have a family . . . and spending this money on sleeve surgery instead of having my son's tonsils removed or a down payment on a new truck my husband truly needs for work seems terribly selfish.
 
We are hoping that once I have the surgery I will lead the family into better eating habits. No junk for me, none for you. My son has issues with his weight and while he's too old for me to dictate, we hope that healthier foods at home will help him.
 
So, it;s all about me. Of course, I look forward to the hoped for personal evolution weight loss can bring--new energy, ambition, freedom of movement, clothing, desire to go out, dress up, etc. I particularly miss yoga and hope that I will find joy in that again.
 
If you read this and want to comment, please do. I wouldn't write it here if I didn't want to share how I feel.

I had a very nice supper last night with family. Everyone prayed for me when the meal was blessed.
 
It was a grand finale of the old days and my dad outdid himself.
 
Today I had my first protein shake. I'm so relieved it quenched my hunger. I am going to make it through this day, and beyond that, I'm not going to wonder.
 
Caffeine hasn't been the huge withdrawal I expected. I don't know yet if that's God's grace or just a delayed onset.
 
I am eager for the surgery to be done and over with. Still 10 days away.