Marisa46

The thing is you won't know if losing 40 pounds before surgery is something that only this Surgeon will suggest to you until you get a second opinion from a doctor in another practice. The other doctor may have more experience with higher BMI patients and require you to go on a liquid diet. The amount of time on the diet is based on your BMI. They do this to reduce the size of your liver to make the surgery safer. Also make sure the surgeon you choose is certified to do bariatric surgery. The other side of this is that you must be comfortable with your doctor he's going to be in your life for a while here so no sense in being miserable. This first surgeon has a more caustic manner than you may be comfortable with. Unless your insurance company is saying that he is the only one who can do your surgery, if I were you, I'd keep looking around

Weight loss surgery is the easy way out....I'm shaking my head and laughing as I type that. I honestly think that some people believe that surgery is a magic wand. Once the surgery is over I will be thin with no effort. , raspberries, that's all I can say to that. I have been poked and prodded so much this past month. I usually only see a doctor a few times a year for an annual and BP follow up. All of these doctor visits are difficult because it's not just one doctor, it's many different people (doctors, nurses, techs) I like to keep my privates--private as much as possible. But physical privacy is impossible. Yet, there are people who think I'm taking the easy way out! UGH! I haven't even gotten to the hard parts yet! I feel like a wimp. There are good things happening though. I'm getting closer to being approved for the surgery; Wednesday, is the last appointment for the prerequisite medical testing that I have. My hope is that I will be approved and have a date by mid-June. There's a part of me that is worried that I'm not in a good enough place mentally to have the surgery. It's difficult for me to judge but I think that I just need to move forward. My therapist thinks that I am in a good space emotionally to have the surgery. I am willing to make the changes necessary and have started some things but I'm still scared. Wouldn't you think that I would be frightened of the surgery itself? Especially since I am afraid of hospitals! Blech! The surgery in itself does not bother me. It's the afterwards that I'm scared of. Changing my habits and doing the things that I need to do to be successful. I don't want to disappoint myself.

Thanks kiki you are totally right about just smiling and ignoring the conversation. I hope I can adjust to the afterwards as well as you have.

I'm glad that you're progressing so well. Don't let anyone tell you you took the easy way out. The WLS process is not easy and change is difficult in the most perfect situations. if a person needs WLS the situation is not perfect! Be proud of yourself for overcoming all of those hurdles to get to the other side! Remember to be kind to yourself.

I am in a weird place right now. Emotionally strange territory for me; I'm preparing for the surgery with all of the diagnostic tests; but I don't have a date for the surgery. I'm in this I'm pretty sure things are on track but I can't be entirely certain. Sort of an emotional no man's land. I'm not sure if I should be excited or apprehensive and I'm frequently both emotions at the same time. Wednesday is my endoscopy; I'm arranging for a ride to and from the hospital. I thought I would be able to drive myself home but since the procedure is being done under general anesthesia I will need a ride. I hate asking for favors from people. It's silly of me to feel that way since I readily do or give whatever is asked of me by family and friends. My therapist asked me why I have such a hard time asking for help. I didn't and still don't know the answer. I feel like I should be capable of doing everything myself and since I've never married I'm used to doing everything or paying someone to do it. If I ask for help I have to explain to the person why I need their assistance. Maybe I'm very secretive by nature or maybe I feel as if the person is judging me? I don't think it's fair for me to think that the people I'm asking are that small, because, my friends and family are good ( not perfect ) people. The fear is my hangup.

Thanks Joni, Spatters, and Longer Life! You are all right! I do deserve the help, I am afraid that I'll be turned down, and I know that as a Christian part of our journey is about being of service to others so I shouldn't deny people the chance to help me. It is so hard! I told all of my immediate family and my closest friends. Usually I tell people stuff after I've finished it! The hospital won't release me to go home in a cab someone has to be there taking responsibility for me. Security (liability). Good news--when I let people know I needed the help, two people were like "you know I'll do this for you--quit stressing" That made me feel good. Spatters you know how hard it is to be rejected when you are in need, I'm so glad they said yes because it would have really hurt to have no one who would help me.

Yesterday was a major day in advancing my surgery goals. I got another Cardiologist; I just couldn't see myself continuing a professional relationship with someone who obviously has no respect for me. When I go to a doctor I go for a reason--a very specific reason. I don't go for opinions on my life (unless it's my therapist of course)! Anyway, my insurance company encouraged me to find another specialist in the network after that if I wasn't comfortable; the rep even said I could go to a third. My new Cardiologist is putting me through every test my insurance company has pre-authorized. While I think it's a pain to have to go back, I'm pleased. I'm pleased because the doctor did not insult me and she gave me explanations when I asked for them. Earlier this week, I sat down with one of my employer's HR reps to discuss FMLA and disability leave. The rep explained to me that it's a good idea for me to hand in FMLA paperwork with the disability forms. Even though after 2 weeks, I would be paid from the short term disability plan the FMLA claim holds my job. Job protection is what she called it. She had a lot of advice about working the system that I hadn't heard before so I'm glad I spoke with her. I'm not feeling discouraged anymore... I still worry about being successful with the behavior modifications. I never realized how much I enjoy liquids with my meals. It's so hard not to drink with lunch and dinner! I try to chew my food to a pulp but how do I know I've chewed it enough. One person said I have to chew until it's liquid. So I chew and chew and never get it too a liquid state. I tried to do a day on a liquid diet. I didn't make it past lunch. I was really bummed then I read instructions for it and realized I did it all wrong! I have an edoscopy scheduled for May 2 and the cardiac tests are scheduled for the 9th. Once those are done I have everything on my surgeons list of what I need before he will give me an OK. I was hoping that I would have the surgery at the end of May but that date doesn't seem realistic now.

I talked to my insurance company. If I go to another cardiologist my insurance will consider a 2nd opinion follow up. Actually the rep encouraged me to go to another doctor. Evidently, the insurance company has been getting a rash of claims for a new and very expensive cardiac diagnostic test. I was a little worried because I don't know anything about medical tests and I don't want to get stuck paying for a test they won't cover. The rep told me to simply get the medical billing code for the procedure to check to see that the test is covered. EKG and ECHO or regular stress tests are no problem though.

& Happy New Life to you ShapeShifter! Thanks

Every ending is a beginning...endings are hard...change is difficult...so why do we change? I have a tendency to over think things but I can't stop thinking that I'm experiencing a beginning and an ending at the same time. I’m beginning a more sane controlled relationship with food, and I’m ending my relationship to food as my toxic and nourishing best friend. I have my first appointment this Wednesday, April 4. I am scared, excited, happy, and worried. I worry that I will fail to lose weight--I will be the only person who doesn’t lose a pound after having this procedure. I think I am insane for entertaining such a preposterous thought. I want to concentrate on all of the positives about the decision to have the gastric sleeve surgery and I feel horrible for allowing myself to get SO fat in the first place. I’ve told my family and friends who are for the most part supportive but a couple of people wonder why I don’t just lose the weight in the regular way. I have been trying the regular way. I did weight watchers and NutriSystem; I hired a trainer; I counted calories; I even tried to be a Vegan once. I gained and lost and gained. I would not consider doing surgery if I didn’t feel that this step is the only way I’ll be able to sustain a considerable weight loss. I don’t mind losing my best friend now. I’m tired of being ashamed of myself. At the same time, I’m scared that this is too hard for me! I’m going to stop whining (for the night at least) and I’m going to take care of myself in a positive manner. After all, that’s why I’m having the surgery in the first place.

Thanks everyone! It's good to know I'm not alone while changing my life. Encouragement is wonderful!

Yesterday, I had my first appointment with my surgeon, Dr. Lo Menza, in Baltimore, MD. I was still nervous and excited. I thought that on the whole the appointment went well; the only damper on the visit is that I don't like the Nutritionist! I swear she spent 15 minutes telling me that my diet documentation was unacceptable. I explained to her that the INSURANCE COMPANY had already approved it (the nurse assigned to my case asked for it right away because if it wasn't acceptable then at least I could start the six month documentation period right away). The more the Nutritionist droned on (in her icky whispery voice) that my Weight Watchers documentation wasn't good and she didn't ....blah blah blah. I'll just leave it that I don't like the woman. I'm no less excited but now I'm a little scared too! I got a list of things that Dr. Lo Menza needs before the sleeve can be approved and the date set. That's not the part that worries me; just a visit to my primary care, a cardiologist, and having an EGD done. I can handle a few more medical appointments. What frightens me is that pre-surgery liquid diet. Oh man! What hell they can come up with. I don't know if I can do it. I guess the only thing I can do is pray to God to get me through it and take each day as it's own. Matthew 6:34

I'm a little discouraged. I have 3 doctor appointments today. The first one (Gastroenterologist) went fine. I'll have my endoscopy on May 2. Because of my weight it will have to be done in the hospital. Not great but OK. The second appointment was with a Cardiologist who made me feel like crap. How could I feel like anything else with questions and comments like "did any of your friends tell you that you were getting so large" and on the amount of Prozac I'm prescribed (80 mg) "that's too much". The doctor had a hard time believing that my blood pressure was only semi high (160/81) and my electrocardiogram was normal. So I have to have a stress test, but I'm too fat for the treadmill in his practice. I have genuinely never been the type of person to go out and seek abuse; but I've got at least 5 more appointments to go with other doctors. I hate having my feelings hurt and I'm wondering if I've made a mistake.

Thanks Everyone! Your support means a lot. Fortunately, my PCP is very supportive so I know it's possible to find a doctor with empathy. I'm going to concentrate on the encouragement and place myself in Jesus' hands, thanks!

The medical profession amazes me. Some of those doctors! They feel they have the right to give an opinion on things that have nothing to do with why I'm there. I love questions like "no children? Whose idea was that?" I had hoped that I would only need one cardiology visit to get cleared for surgery. The doctor feels that I should have a stress test even though my other tests are normal. "At your weight ...." I am just going to take a few deep breaths. I have an appointment with my PCP in an hour. I like her she takes the time to explain things to me and answer my questions no matter how dumb. I'm going to try not to be too down about one insensitive person. The world is full of them and I have to have a tougher skin.

I can understand not wanting to share it with the people you work with because it is PRIVATE. I've been going back and forth in the decision to share with the people I work with. Fortunately (unfortunately?) when I evaluated my relationship with my team members I realized that I don't think of them as good friends. Really, my idea of them is as friendly co-workers. I don't plan on telling anyone who is not family or a close friend. If a person and I haven't had a heart to heart in the entire time I've known them then I see no reason to share my private information. They will know I'm having surgery and I will be out for so much time. That's it. I worry about people commenting after the surgery, but I plan to dodge any inquiries. Honestly, though if you are close to these people and you genuinely want to share with them by all means share. If one of them has a different opinion than yours--discuss it. Your discussion with them will teach them a few things they don't know. If you want to keep something private then please allow yourself to do so.