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Thanks for your story. Im so glad for you. Congrats.

I look forward to the day when I can go shopping for clothes and not feel the "pain" of it. It can't get here soon enough.

Wow you are close....we were in Los Gatos just sunday morning at HOBBIES. LOL Neighbors!!!! I live 2 exits down from Los Gatos...Almaden/85. Yes, Los Gatos has many beautiful/handsom people there. Its a place of beautiful things and beautiful people. You included I'm sure. Thanks for the encouragement.

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Laura-ven. You know........ I think you are right. Is it bad that I keep this from her? She deals with so much after our marriage 1.5 yrs ago and leaving her family. She only has "me" as her family too. I feel compelled to keep this inside of me because I can't bare for her to "feel bad for me". I don't want to burden her with it. I "feel" like I can handle it because the feelings I can suppress pretty well. I just may consider telling her if this is your suggestion. I just may. I may also keep this inside me until I become less "obese" (rough word) or even (hard to say it) "Normal" weight again. We live in such a TUFF society of being judged as FAT. Many of us experience it....I feel SOOO sorry for the women. Society is pretty darn hard on women. Its shameful! This has caused women to feel unworthy and unhappy. Supplying fuel for the YO YO dieting and feelings of anxiety and even worse things like depression or even worse. **** I feel glad to see strong people on these forums....I feel I'm strong too in many ways.........but there is a part of me that is quiet and cries deep inside of me. Only to show up in the mirror....in the middle of a mall......in sunny California....... with eminem playing in the background......all by myself........................ me and............ the mirror. After taking a deep breath....looking at myself looking away from myself to carry on the pain later......another day.

At this particular time, I don't tell her this for 2 reasons. 1) Its my struggle personally and 2) I try to keep her "stresses" of my bigness low because she would feel horrible to know the agony I feel (sometimes) about myself in my personal physical looks and sometimes my soreness from just being obese (i'm pretty healthy otherwise).

Thanks Laura. Sometimes I can get in a writing mood. To everyone here, your husband loves you very much and only wants your inner happiness to be full of joy and whatever it takes to make you feel better about yourself, I would hope they support you too. When "you" are happy "he" is happy. I'm wishing everyone here success with their choices and efforts.

Thanks......it seems like I'm preaching to the choir on this avenue. Just know that men share many of the feelings women do, just in an different way. Like I could give my weight (372 lbs now) to my wife no problem, yet to go shopping for "me"- I would make up just about anything to get out of it. I fear the "shopping for clothes" bit with my dear loving wife. I know deep inside there are issues with my body for sure, but I hide it well, and rarely affects my day. But.................sometimes it...........does.

JessicaAnn, I have great news..... Your husband does not really care about your weight number. I'm totally sure of it. That being said, if you want to keep it to yourself, its ok. I'm pretty sure if he did hear a number, he's not going to relate it to anything. I understand the "numbers" in wight is a very emotional thing. I too have been sensitive to it at times so I can relate. I am however talking to you from possibly your husband point of view. Your weight number is not a concern of his and thankfully so. I'm not sure if this helps, but its good news nonetheless. *smile* ** Pitty Party** toppic: My wonderful wife LOVES to take pictures. (She's 5'5 and 124lbs...she has her "vanity lbs" she complains about but she's "thin" by most standards.) For the last 5 yrs I HATE to have pictures taken of myself. I hate it. Thankfully I don't "show" it to many emotionally-outwardly. Like most dudes I can hid my feelings pretty easily. She actually thought that I didn't want to take pics with "her"....CERTAINLY I was not feeling "that" way...it was truly a "its me, not you" thing for sure. I tried to relay that to her, but she still is disappointed we don't take many pics "together". I have TONS of pics of her though. Shopping: I feel terrible shopping at the "big and tall" stores. I hate parking in front of the building just as bad. My wonderful wife skips through the isles and starts picking up $50-$60 shirts...and $70 pants (yes girls....they are THAT expensive at these big and tall stores for men).............anyways, She gets all happy and trys to make it a "fun" experience for "me"...................... ...........flash to the "fitting room"..... ok.... so wifey gave me 3 pairs of pants, and 4 shirts. I'm facing a full length mirror.....I start changing. All the while I'm thinking "I know 1/2 of these dang things are not going to fit right) Shirt comes off....I slowly slide on the new button down shirt...checking for snugness in the arms..then comes the horrible BUTTON experience. Sure enough.....the feared "TENSION" buttons. The around the belly button area - button(s). DANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... off comes the shirt fast.......2nd shirt....better but still Puckers when setting down......Finally...ONE shirt of the 4 fit "ok". and sure enough....DANG!!! THE SHIRT ARMS ARE TOO TIGHT....well, I can deal with tight shirt arms....I'm sure not going to deal with my semi-harry navel showing to anyone with my shirt screaming "I'm going to pop" from the bottom front. I would slowly open the dressing room door, just to half smile at my wife (hiding my shame) and giving back the clothes that didn't fit. My poor wife is always surprised when things don't fit (mostly because she is normal weight) but I still just pick up the few things that do fit mosey onto the check out..... Even though its a Big and Tall store I'm still awkward as the lady takes the clothes off the hangers and neatly folds the "beasts" of shirts and mammoths of pants together....after dropping say $350 bucks for some "new stuff" I walk out thankful that I don't have to go through that again for some time. My wife oblivious of my emotions kisses me and smiles because of me "finally" going to buy new clothes again. I drive away feeling defeated. Knowing that I'm a big boy, but dealing with shame deep inside that rarely comes out accept when shopping. Facing my obesity really comes to fruition when shopping....I guess that's why I hate it. ............... I didn't used to hate it............... I remember shopping for clothes without a thought to it other than how my pants would fit over my tennis shoes. Times have changed. I'm looking forward to getting over the physical pain and opening up to the emotional freedom of feeling "normal again". Wow.............sorry for the rambling.

I have found myself telling a few people. First it was a couple people at work. (Because I will be off 2 weeks minimum). Then I started telling a couple friends. Then I started telling a couple general acquaintances. I really don't mind it too much as I'm so big at 375lbs that I could not see anyone "not" seeing this as a benefit. Now I can't speak of the female side of things. I doubt if I would get offended that someone complimented me about loosing weight and my looks. (I was grilled in some other forum here about this subject so please cut me a break on this, its not meant as offensive, judgmental, or insensitive.) I had a neighbor loose so much weight that in 5 months I didn't recognize her. Finally one day, I asked her "what are you doing to loose so much weight, you look great" and she then told me she had a "new" procedure weight loss called "VSG". After feeling like I had to beg her, she finally gave me her experiance (this was 3 yrs ago)....... Unfortunately she left her husband and went all guy crazy, but still....she did great with her weight. I'm glad she told "me".

I'm looking for anyone in or near San Jose (group or ones that would like to form a GROUP) to meet up with in person. I'm not sure if there is already ones that do this. If so, I would like to join in. My direct email: VSG101@gmail.com

I'm subscribing because I'm very interested in how you will be doing. Can't wait to hear from you.

Happy Anniversaries!

Congrats!!

Anyone know much about Dr. Hirai here in San Jose?