Lyra

So I had my first class today and it was full of a lot of important information, but I was shocked on how many people had obviously never read the book the doctors gave out or even did a standard google search. Granted, I'm kind of obsessive when I'm researching something...but this is a surgery that will change your life on so many fundamental levels. This isn't some magical wand that will go POOF and the weight will just fall off onto the floor, while you walk off into the sunset whistlin' dixie in your new size 6 pants. Example of questions: 1. "You mean we can't eat sugar, like cookies?" 2. "What do you mean there are small portion sizes?" 3. "But I love eating the The Texas Roadhouse 23oz Prime Rib!" .....right, and those little telling questions are WHY we are all sitting in a weight loss surgery informational class. I was just so surprised that seemingly intelligent adults wouldn't fully research something before allowing a doctor to cut out parts of their body. No wonder the Powers That Be make you go through all these classes before getting it done! Also, a funny story. So my doctor also did the surgery on my dad. Last night dad told me that when he was in the operating room, but before they put him under, Dr. W came in and asked the nurses if it was okay to put a small computer on the edge of the bed. He looked at my dad and said, "It's so I can watch how to do the surgery on Youtube!" *grin* One class down, four more to go, and onward I march!

So when ya'll say your hair fell out...are we talking massive chunks of hair appearing on my pillow or just a general thinning? This part makes me nervous as I was extremely ill about ten years ago and lost a lot of hair (which never came back). I would really prefer not being bald...

I'm sorry that you lost a "friend" but you're right in saying that you dont need that right now. Keep rocking your sleeve and know that you did what was right for you and to h*ll to all the naysayers that try to keep you down. It takes incredible courage to contemplate this, and incredible fortitude to actually do and succeed at this.

Well, I have to say that I laughed really hard when I read your post! I think my favorite was about the stomach exploding. As for me, I'm still pre-sleeve and am steadily working towards a surgery date (hopefully in the next two months). As for my stats I'm 29, 5'5", 274 and I also have a problem with portion control and stress eating. I also adore Peanut Butter and chocolate. As for health, underneath the chub I'm actually in good shape although my doc says that I'll be a great candidate for diabetes in a few years if I don't drop the weight. I run 2 miles several times a week, lift weights, do yoga, and go hiking on a regular basis. For me, getting the sleeve will impose restrictions that will force me to have a better lifestyle. Bye bye, emotional and absent minded eating, hello weight loss! I'm serious enough about it that I'm willing to say sayonara to peanut butter/chocolate and am delving into exactly why I stress eat. A most uncomfortable self reflection, I can assure you! As for what brought me to this decision (besides my sincere desire NOT to become diabetic) was that even though I'm active, there are still so many things that I can't do because I'm fat. Also, there is nothing as humiliating as having to get off a ride because they can't close the safety bar. I decided that I was not going to live a life where my weight kept me from having the fun and adventure that I deserve. That I do not want to be on my death bed and thinking, "If only..." instead of "Damn, sexy lady, you rocked it hard and lived a crazy life! Those memoirs are gonna sell bigtime!"

What a great topic! I'm envious and can't wait to be in your shoes! I have my fingers crossed for a late March or early April sleeve date. If I could hop up on the OR table now, I would totally be there!

You just had surgery and are drastically changing your life. I wouldn't doubt that your subconscious is freaking out from surgery stress, life stress, and the "Oh god I hope this works" stress. Not to mention your blood chemistry is probably all over the place from food restriction, weight loss, and the fact that you just had surgery. So your mind is giving you all these crazy dreams because thats how brains work when we get stressed out. It's kinda like a release valve for emotions. Writing them down can help put them in perspective. Also, have you tried reading a book or watching a comedy (doing anything light or entertaining) that can put your mind in a better place and relax you before you hit the zzzzs? I read that cleaning right before bed can really help people relax as well. Its supposedly a sort of "my habitat is clean and organized, so too is my brain". I have crazy dreams and picking up the house has really helped me become very relaxed before sleep. Good luck and keep us posted!

I haven't gotten mine yet, but I've decided to name it The Sheriff. Basically so I can say, "There's a new sheriff in town!" *amused*

When I told my friends/family I prefaced it by saying, "You dont have to agree with someone in order to be supportive of them". Some great conversations happened after this that really opened all of our eyes. It's hard for people who are not heavy to understand what life is like....and sometimes we who are going bravely forth don't understand the fear that our loved ones feel for us going 'under the knife'. Sometimes through conversation you can understand each other's points of view, and sometimes you will have to agree to disagree. I think telling my friends/family was harder than actually deciding to have the surgery itself! Good luck and continue to rock your sleeve! All the people who are giving you flack about your choice now, will be sayign "I told you so" when you reach your goal!

I'm sorry that your mom is being disrespectful of your choice. Perhaps each time she brings the subject up you can smile pleasantly and say, "We've already spoken about this and obviously we do not agree. I love you and while I value your opinion, it was my choice and thats all I'm going to say on the subject. So, how's Aunty May doing today?". If she wont stop then just get up, say goodbye, and leave the room. The key is to be 'pleasantly blank' as it gives the other person nothing to argue, or even interact, with. If you keep refusing to discuss, justify or placate her then I would imagine that eventually she would tire of the subject and move on to some other topic. Sometimes you can't change a person's mind...you just have to train them to stop bringing the subject up! You never know, perhaps as she sees how much happier and healthier you are, she will change her mind. Good luck!

I wished I lived near you (and had already had the surgery) as my goal is to do Tough Mudder one year after my surgery. It looks like so much fun and like the experience of a lifetime! Good luck with your training and keep us posted, as I would be interested in knowing what you think of it!

Time seems to be just meandering along, and in some cases, I think the clock is being moved backwards. I just started on this journey a few months ago and I have my first required class on Wednesday, then psych and nutrition on 2/15, then a support group 3/8, followed by my pre-op class. The most probable month of surgery is in April and I'm already stressed out trying to figure out HOW I'm going to schedule this around work. I'm a cake decorator so I can't be out of work on Easter, and the only other decorator is going on vacation 4/21. So unless the surgeon can do the operation around 4/9 then I might have to wait until MAY to be able to take the 2 weeks he wants off of work. Yes, I know I'm whining and that I should be happy I'm making forward momentum in this and that it's not like I'm not BUSY otherwise....but I'm just frustrated. I also know that I'm putting the cart before the horse and that everything will work out...but I'm just frustrated! It's funny in that I'm pouting about this and feeling so frustrated that I'm almost laughing at MYSELF in how ridiculous I am being. *sigh* As I said before I have a rather long "To Do" list before I have the surgery. Goals that I want to meet before it happens: I'm going to do a 5K Mud Run/Walk with my bff before I have VSG, yoga training, weight lifting, wedding cakes, plan a wedding shower (not mine), etc so it's not like I'm bored. Perhaps I should use this opportunity to work on my patience...read a few books...work on my patience... Did anybody else have Hurry-the-hell-up-gitis that I'm experiencing? What was your way of dealing with it?

My funeral-to-be is going to have to involve chinese food (dumplings! stir fry! spring rolls!) and peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Frankly, anything peanut butter and chocolate makes me go "Yes, please, I'll have another". Yet at the same time I'm okay with it. Just think about how much nicer it'll be in the summer heat without the extra poundage!

This isn't specifically VSG related, but in honor of deciding to do this life changing procedure I cut my hair. I've had long (down to the bottom of my shoulder blades) hair for years and I told the stylist to cut it off. Yeah, I told her to Cut. My. Hair. Off. I didn't think I would panic, but when she started snipping it off my heart started to pound like crazy! The women out there totally know where I'm coming from on this! Everyone always said how pretty my hair was, and I think I grew it long because subconsciously I thought it would take the focus away from my weight. It's kinda weird how crazy our minds can get. So now my hair is a little bit longer than my chin and curly as all get out! When it was long the weight just made it very wavy, but now I have shirley temple-style curls. Who would have thought? Another upside is that the cut also makes me look a little older. Granted, it is nice to be told that I look like I'm in college (I turn 30 this year), but after awhile it gets irritating having to constantly prove how old I am. Even though I'm still in shock that I did this, I also feel strangely free. Did anybody else do soemthing life affirming, celebratory, or crazy before your surgery? ~Lyra

I've just started jumping through the hoops. I've done the blood work already, I have my "welcome this is what you need to do" class on the 8th, the wellness/nutrition and psycho exam on the 15th, and hopefully will be able to do the required support groups in the beginning of March along with the pre-op class for surgery in April. I didn't know that you could take dreads apart, I always thought they had to be cut off. I have to admit I love my new short hair! My hair is curly/wavy and when it was so long it got caught in everything, hopelessly tangled, or it would stand up a la Bride of Frankenstein!

Mmm...a spicy chicken chick-fil-a sandwhich would be amazing as well!

I just felt like I read parts of MY life story as well! I was skinny as a child, but at puberty the weight just seemed to go up..and up...and up. I haven't been in a relationship for a long time, and have often felt invisible. To combat this I developed the 'big girl' personality. Funny, sarcastic, witty, etc. Apparently I use it so well that my closest friends didn't even realize how much I hate this body that I'm trapped in. When I found out about the sleeve I almsot started crying from relief. I'm hopefully getting sleeved in April and I imagine my emotions will go through the same roller coaster ride as yours are. All I can say is that you're not crazy and you have a right to feel how you feel. Repressing those emotions would be bad in the long run, but maybe you can channel it into volunteering, running, a new hobby, etc. All of those things can make you feel better about yourself and help steady your emotions. If there are any support groups in your area for post-sleevers, then maybe you can try and go to those. If nothing else, you'll know that you're not alone in how you feel. Good luck and keep us posted!

Mater, thanks for the protein snow cone idea, it sounds yummy! I especially love the chocolate shakes (yeah, chocolate!), but I think I'm going to experiment with the strawberry ones too. As for fast food, I'm definitely not going to be eating that crap anymore. I spent the whole night feeling disgusting. It was beautiful outside and all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch. What a waste. Good luck with getting your sleeve! I'm looking at about April for mine (crosses fingers) and I can't wait!

So for the past few months I've been making pretty good food choices as I figured that since I was going forward with this surgery I should start changing my eating habits sooner rather than later. I do protein shakes (I actually rather like them!), and a veggie/fruit/nut/dairy smoothie thats delicious and healthy. My body feels like it's running better and I have more energy since I've started actually acknowledging a need for a more healthy and varied diet. As I said above, I've been pretty good the last few months, but today I decided, "What the hell" and answered my craving for a Burger King Whopper Junior and fries. Plus soda, which I almost never drink. I figured having one fast food meal every now and then is no biggie, right? WRONG! My insides feel like they want to be outside and I dont think my gallbladder will ever forgive me. Uck. I also feel just plain ol' yuckie. So with my intestinal discomfort, why am I kinda happy, you ask? Because whilst I was consuming calorie and fat ladden foods I realized that it just didn't taste as good as it used to. It tasted...well...fatty and super processed. Fake. One shaky step up from fillet a la cardboard. Frankly it disgusted me and I have absolutely NO desire to eat that crap again. Healthy, tasty, natural foods are addictive and your taste buds do change over time. My revelation was kinda surprising and very welcome! Not bad for a pre-sleever, huh?

"I'm not breaking up with you, because I still need you to live" Hahaha! I was drinking tea when I read that and almost had an accident! Very funny!

Thanks ya'll! I will definitely post some pictures over the week (I just moved recently and still have to unearth the camera as the one on my phone sucks). I do enjoy being spontaneous about some things. I'm just so happy right now in my new town, my new job and in turning my life into what I want it to be instead of just dreaming about what it could be. Life is filled with so many possibilities and I can't wait to be able to experience them!

You're gonna rock that sleeve! Keep us posted on how you're doing, and try not to stress too much before the surgery!

Yeah, for me it was always "smile smile smile" when shopping with my friends and then later I always wanted to cry because I wanted to buy cute, trendy clothes too. I never really told my best friend that I felt that way until I told her that I was going to get this surgery. Luckly all my friends have been supportive and they all helped me come up with an amazing "Lyra gets a 'cookie' " rewards list. Except the 'cookie' are things like horseback riding, skiing, zip lining, ballroom dance lessons, kyaking etc that we're all going to do together!

Yeah, I like Torrid and also Dots (I've never heard of that online store, but I'm gonna go check it out, thanks!). I just wish I could go into Kohls or any other department store and find the same shirts that are in the 'normal' area also in plus sizes. My thin friends always want me to go shopping with them because of my 'sense of style' but it would be nice to be the person who could wear those clothes!

Yeah, why is it that designers think that just because a girl is bigger, that all she wants to wear are button down shirts with either stripes (I hate stripes), the side breast pocket (yuck), or only come in muted solid colors. Why don't they make the same clothes they make for thin girls but only in a bigger size?

Awesome idea! - buying knee high boots without expansion panels - buying pretty bras/panties - being able to wear my hair up without wondering if my face looks too fat - horseback riding - wearing clothes that show my fun, funky side rather than just whatever fits. - DATING and no longer only being the 'funny fat girl'.