Lyra

Cool, thanks! Even though Led Zepplin is riddled with holes and is in a sad, sad state of affairs I'll still keep it. It can sit in the back of my closet, alone, and being jealous of all my new, pretty clothes!

Yeah, that does sound odd. Good thinking!

ps- I would be suspicious too!

One thing you can do is tell them that you can't talk right now because you are working/kids/cleaning/saving the world and you will call them back later if they could give you their name, number, and extension. Then google the number and see what pops up.

Last year my mom and I went on this amazing vacation that had to do with her work. It was fantastic and we've been planning on doing it again next year (it's only held every other year). We were talking about it tonight and how exciting it's going to be. I love hanging out with my mom! One of the things I'm really excited about is how much thinner I'll be because of the surgery. It'll definitely make riding on a plane easier! I am just about the maximum size a person can be and still fit in the waaaay too narrow seat. Yet I do fit with a little room to spare so it made me feel bad when I got on one of my connecting flights and the guy sitting next to me had the "oh hell no that fat chick isn't going to sit next to me" look on his face. He didn't even have the courtesy to at least pretend not to be looking around for another seat. In fact he about bowled me over in his hurry to get away from me. Bastard. Sometimes I wonder how people can be so insensitive. I'm no saint, but I genuinely do not want to hurt people's feelings. It makes me wonder if people who have no care for others were raised in a barn by a flock of feral chickens. Anyway, that is neither here nor there. So my mom and I were talking about this fab vacation we're planning and I can't wait to shop for clothes! Granted, it's 10 months and 3 weeks away (but whose counting?) but I'm daydreaming about wearing a sexy little dress that clings in all the right places. Of a classy little evening bag whose strap stays on my shoulder and some knockout heels that scream "diva on the prowl!". I've already changed so much in the last year. Internally changed, I mean. In fact, last summer was the first summer in almost 10 years that I wore shorts. Crazy, right? Yet I've always been so self-conscious. Not because I'm...er...plumptious, but because I have a lot of scarring on my legs from a run in with a brown recluse spider plus mrsa and two surgeries. I finally decided that my scars show that I still have legs thank god and that I've led an interesting life so screw the stares from people. To my surprise I found that most people just don't care or don't pay attention. It was a huge confidence builder and for those who were rude enough to point my scars out I came up with some real humdinger responses. My favorites included being attacked by rabid fire ants, alien abduction, surgery to make me taller, and a horrific circus accident involving a clown, tiger, and a wheelbarrow. *smirk*. Man, I can't wait to go shopping for fashionable clothing!

If you're worried about scars then try a vitamin K lotion (you can also get it in a prescription strength but it's pricey) but only for purple scars. Once they turn brown/pink then use Vitamin E. I have some intense surgical scars on my legs and went through the K and E routine and it helped a lot! The rest is just common sense. Like if you are in the sun you really need to put sunscreen on the scars. Trust me, sunburn on scars hurts.

Sheesh, do they expect the doctor to hit you over the head with a big stick? Or do it the cowboy way and just get you drunk on cheap whiskey? Weird.

When I get my sleeve I'm calling it The Sheriff since he'll be monitoring my food intake! Once we get to know each other better he'll get a first name! Until then I can't wait 'til there's a new sheriff in town!

I'm sorry that you're having a hard time right now! I do know that if you go to the forum home on this website that there is a recipe sharing section. Also, I googled some possible recipe/low-carb smoothie websites for you and came up with the links below. I can't guarantee their quality for you but it'll give you a jumping off point for research. Also, you can try going to barnes and noble or amazon for vsg recipe books. Another thing is look for support groups in your area. I know that there is one where I live where you do not have to actually be affiliated with a specific doctor in order to go. You can try looking for something like that through your local hospital. Plus you can try googling to see if there are any nutritionists in your area that are experienced in VSG surgery diets. Good luck and I hope this helped! http://www.fatsecret.com/Default.aspx?pa=rs&dietid=113755 http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2007/08/pureed-foods.html http://www.smoothieweb.com/category/low-carb-smoothies/ http://www.antioxidants-for-health-and-longevity.com/low-carb-smoothie-recipes.html

Well if you don't want to tell anybody about your surgery you can always say you have ulcers/gastroenteritis and are on a restricted diet for awhile. That way if you do get sick at work people will just assume its from the food and your ulcers. Good luck with your surgery!

I hope that happens to me, too!

Mine goes to insurance on Tuesday. Hopefully. However, my dad also has BCBS and his was approved in 45 minutes. So you never know. Good luck!

Yesterday was my support group class...the last class before it goes to insurance for approval. It was interesting and overwhelming and scary. There are so many vitamins and minerals and nutrients you have to remember to take, and I think I'm going to try and get some free samples of protein drinks. Has anybody tried the 'Nectar' brand before? They're running a special right now on samples. It really just hit me that the journey to surgery is almost over. I need to sit down and write down what I need to take everyday so that I can wrap my mind around it. Yesterday was a hard day because I got up at 4am and was at work until 1pm. Then I drove the 3 hours to my meeting, had dinner with my absolutely WONDERFUL mother, went to the meeting, and then I drove 3 hours BACK home. By the time I got home at midnight I was actually shaking in my seat and couldn't walk straight because I was so exhausted. I can't take the energy drinks because I had a little espresso addiction and it about killed my stomach. Today has been hard...but only two more days of work until a day off! Yah! My mother is absolutely wonderful. She has been with me every step of the way and it has been awesome. I never think of my mom as getting old, half the time I forget that I'm about to turn 30 this year. Yet at dinner last night I saw my mom's beautiful hands and how rheumatoid arthritis is causing them to bend and warp. It makes me so sad and I wish I could spend more time with her. Luckily I'm recuperating at my parent's house so that's 2 weeks of togetherness. I'm sure by the end of it both of us will be glad for some separation! So...yeah, overwhelmed. I feel like I have this big ball of emotion that sits behind my breastbone. It wasn't there a couple of weeks ago, but as I get closer and closer to game time, it gets bigger. I'm not thinking about backing out, nor am I unhappy. I think it's this weird conglomeration of nerves, fear, excitement, worry, happiness, with a big dose of "dear god!". Mountain meet molehill. *rolls eyes*. Everything will be fine but the waiting is driving me nuts!

Thank you! Yeah, my mom (and grandma!) are amazing. I'm kinda spoiled in that because I'm an only child/grandchild I get a lot of attention. We're all close and those bonds are precious to me. Poor mom has gone through all these classes twice, once with my dad and now with me! She should get a job teaching them... Yep, everything goes before the insurance next week! C'mon surgery time!

Congratulations!

Hmm. My answer to this is in two parts: A year ago I ran across an old friend of mine from high school/college. We had been really close and had lived together for awhile as roommates. After college, life moved us in different directions and we lost contact. Flash forward a few years and we meet up again rather unexpectedly. After the hugs, and the talk about the 'good old days' and where everybody was it got kinda quiet. I kept looking at her and thinking, "Isn't there more? We used to be best friends and now...what?" It was almost like a stranger wearing the face of a friend. After our meeting was over I felt an emotion that I had never felt before- bittersweet. We had been so much a part of each others lives, that it was strange now to realize that things had changed and that you cannot turn back the clock. That there is no magic button that you can hit and everything POOFS and is fixed. Thus, bittersweet; the yearning for things to be other than what they are, the 'what ifs', to have unfulfilled expectations, even though you are happy in your life. I also think that during this journey our focus turns very inward. The striving to lose weight can become the gold at the end of the rainbow, we obsess over every pound and feel euphoria over every NSV. We experience such strong emotions all around the idea of our weight. Yet even when we reach our goals we still have to get up every morning and live the life that we are living. Becoming a size 6 doesn't mean that our lives are automatically exciting, or dashing, or filled with romance. We do not suddenly have amazing jobs that fill our souls with joy and bring a song to our hearts. The weight loss gives us the physical ability to be able to go find that exciting, romantic life but in the end that final step is up to us. I kind of equate it to the metaphor that we have all been prisoners for a very long time and are suddenly granted freedom. The cage doors are open, the wilderness beckons, yet we stand at the doorway looking out at the sun. We are not used to taking that step into a new life. To throw our self into the unknown with only faith to catch us. Changing the outside can be easier than changing the inside. The prison is gone, but the prisoner mentality is still there. Yet we can learn that all we need to do is take that first step. I don't know if I got any of this right or if I totally misunderstood your post. I'm sorry that you are feeling down and I hope that maybe this helped a little bit. Even if it didn't, know that you do have people thinking of you and wishing you well.

Wow....I have to say that I cried when I read this. I adore my mom and can't imagine a life without her in it. I had a really crappy day today and reading this put everything in perspective and re-solidified my desire to lose weight. Thank you.

I've told my friends, family, and some coworkers. Like many of the above, I'm a private person who prefers to show a cheerful face to the world rather than what I really think and feel. Of course, this came back to bite my on the butt when many of my friends didn't realize I was so unhappy. Thus, they didn't understand the surgery. It's hard for me to be open about my emotions without joking around, but the conversations I've had with them has caused us to be closer in some ways than we were before. Before I told anyone I had a prioritized list of those who I was willing to really talk about this with. Example: I'm willing to open up to my concerned best friends, but could care less if a coworker doesn't agree with me. This has happened and I just walked away in the middle of their conversation when they wouldn't take my polite subject changes. You do not have to justify yourselves to others, and by simply walking away you are not going to be starting on argument. Good luck!

So I've read on this site that some of you take Biotin and lysine to help with your skin/nails and hair regrowth after it falls out post-surgery. I'm trying to get myself into good shape with lots of Vitamins and whatnot going into surgery to hopefully have a better recovery time. I'm also really worried about looking like I have mange after surgery. My hair used to be really thick but because of an extremely serious health problem 10 years ago a lot of my hair fell out and never grew back. The doctors blamed it on my medication but even though I had bigger problems at the time I was still traumatized at having my hair come out by the handful. I cannot begin to express how much I would like to keep my hair! I've already cut it shorter so that it'll need less care and maintenance (it was past my shoulder blades and now it barely touches my shoulders) and am starting to take biotin and L-lysine. So my question is; How many mg do ya'll take? The biotin I have said 1-1000 mcg of biotin per day a 2-500 mg l-lysine per day. Does that sound about right to ya'll? I thought I had remembered people saying that they took a lot more than that... Thanks for the help, guys!

Beautiful!

Holy batcrap, Batman! Last night I went to this awards dinner for a friend and the food and wine kept coming...and coming...and coming... I admit it, I ate the hell out of that food. If the food was an enemy army, I not only defeated it, but laughed in the face of it's useless whimpers for mercy. It was amazingly delicious, but at the end of it I was...unimpressed? That's not quite the word that I'm thinking of, but by the end of the meal I got hit with a wave of "this is so not worth it". I'll admit...ever since I've decided to do this surgery I've kinda had an "enjoy it now, within reason, Mr Stomach (I have no idea why my stomach is a dude, since I'm a woman, but eh) 'cause you are gonna be a trim, slim, mushy eating machine soon." Of course, this doesn't give me carte blanche to gorge myself into insensibility...but I did find myself pleased that I'm starting to separate food and emotions. Yeah, it was good (read: scrumptious) but on the scale of "Delcious food vs Lyra's Awesome Life Waiting To Happen" it falls short. Very short. It also isn't as emotionally fulfilling as it used to be. Perhaps it's because I'm taking this step forward to change my life that I've started feeling this way. I still enjoy great food (see pig-like actions above) but it's now more about the taste than "I feel so sad/depressed/angry/bored lets eat a cheeto" that I was (not) rocking before. So, porky pig-like actions are a thumbs down, but who would have thought an awards banquet would bring about some self-realization? Now I need to go walk a couple of miles and do some (a lot of) "I was a bad, bad Lyra" pilates.

I know from my own experience, and from reading some of the topics here, that a lot of us only look at ourselves to criticize. I know that I often pick on myself worse than anybody else, and the self-deprecating humor has to stop. It starts as a self-defense mechanism but before you know it you're really thinking those things about yourself. I thought it would be interesting for us pre- and post-sleevers to list a few things about ourselves (both physical and personality) that we actually like without the added "but.." that is often attached. My best friend asked me today why I always make jokes about myself and it made me realize that it's easy to lose sight ourselves and only think about our weight. I'll go first! I love the shape and color of my eyes and think they're perhaps my best feature. I like my fair skin and my curly hair. I like the fact that I resemble my great-grandmother so much that my grandfather says that it's like looking at a younger version of her. It makes me feel connected to my family in a very intrinsic way. As for my personality I like my dry and sarcastic sense of humor and the fact that I live outside of the box and march to the beat of my own trombone. I am loyal to my family and friends. I like who I am now, and that who I am is worthy of being respected and known by others regardless of what my outer package looks like. I like the fact that my daydreams take me to crazy places that inspire my creative and artistic side. So what are your favorite physical and personality traits?

*sigh*. My last class before getting my surgical date is next week and I was hoping to have the surgery at the end of March. That way I could have the two weeks off and go back to work for Easter weekend (I'm a cake decorator). I just found out that the first week of April is blacked out for time off. Which means that unless my surgery is 4/9 I wont be able to take 2 weeks off until May because it would interfere with the other decorator's vacation. Damn it. February has flown by and I know March will too....but I'm just so bummed. I just want to have the surgery and get this done. I know that in a few months everything will have worked out...but right now I'm just a little sad. It doesn't help that I've been working crazy long hours dealing with some real wackos lately and am very hormonal right now. Why do people feel the need to treat customer service like crap? I get treated like I'm an idiot when I have as much, if not more, education than many of my customers do. What is wrong with people?

I'm not sleeved yet but I am trying to eat healthier. Except when I see doughnuts filled with Peanut butter flavored pastry cream. Then I say, "Screw it" and get one. Or two.

I haven't been sleeved yet...but I did have breast reduction when I was 19 and it was one of the BEST decisions I have ever made. I'm 5'5 and at the time I weighed about 145ish and had E/F size breasts. After surgery I went down to a small size C. Now that I've almost doubled my weight (wince) I have a large D. Before the surgery, though, my back killed me on a daily basis. The key to getting insurance companies to pay for it is to make sure they see it as a health problem, not a vanity problem. Ie- your back/shoulderneck hurts, your bra straps dig into your shoulders, you get tension headaches at the base of your skull, its causing your spine to go out of alignment etc. You might want to start laying some groundwork with your GP or a chiropractor now. My doctor was absolutely amazing and its important to find one that you trust and who also knows how to work with the insurance companies! As for my recovery, it was actually rather painless. I stayed with my parents and my mom was amazing and made sure that I was on a continuous round of painkiller so I was at a constant therapeutic level. In fact, they had to call the doctor so she would tell me that I needed to rest because I was up be-bopping around! I'm fair skinned, so it took awhile for the scars to fade but now you can barely notice them. Frankly, I wouldn't have cared if it had made me look like Frankenstein as long as my personal torture devices went away! Good luck and if you have any questions about before, during, after, whatever feel free to message me!