Deigh

I'm five days out and this is really strange but I have had trouble because I don't know how to watch TV or read without a snack next to me. I'm going crazy. I am still just sip sip sipping liquids so this is my chance to break my grazing habit, I think. So while reading or watching tv, what do you do? I was thinking of getting silly putty or something to play with while I sit there. I do knit and I can do basic stuff while watching tv but there are only so many garter stitch scarves I can make! And I can't knit and read. I don't know how to be this person. I haven't been hungry in days. I don't want to go to the fridge at night, at all. I feel a little confused about how to live this way. Am I crazy? Did anyone else feel a little thrown off and adrift by this change?

Good luck! You're going to do great!

I wasn't nervous about the surgery or surgeon but was nervous about if I could handle it. The night after surgery, I sobbed that I made a huge mistake and it hurt too much. I was bloated and swollen from all the gas they pump in and I felt like I had the surgery just to get fatter. I swear to you it passed. Day 1 postop was better. Day 2 was even better. It's day 5 now and while I'm still struggling to get in all the fluids and calories they want me to get in, it's lightyears better than it was that day. I think I was nervous that I wouldn't know how to replace food in my life and it is something I'm struggling with right now post op. But the surgery itself wasn't scary to me. I think I had so many health problems that I just wanted to feel better and this was my best chance.

OK, day 3 and I feel MUCH better. Day 1 and day 2 post op SUCKED. Seriously. Today, I am keeping down more food. I have had 8 oz of a protein drink, about 6 oz of broth, and 24 oz of water. I'm about to go have strained wonton soup. It's not easy getting all the calories in. I'm probably low again today but yesterday, I could barely get in 75 calories. My goal today is 200 and while I'm not going to make that, I so far have broken 100. After the soup, I'll probably be about 125 or so. I'm thinking about going to the Channuka party at the synagogue next weekend but I think it might be too hard. I will still be on clear liquids. I want to see people but it's going to be a struggle.

Over the last hour, I've managed to eat two ounces of homemade turkey broth and I'm trying to work on a second cup. I've had some trouble getting all my water in today - I'm at about 40oz and they wanted me at 64. I'm trying hot stuff to see if it goes down easier and so far it's working.

I am trying that. Horrible heartburn this morning from ice Water and pressure like it was just sitting there. Now trying sugar free hot chocolate.

BCBS of nc here here and no preop weightloss but I did need several months of documented weight problems which was easy enough. As my doc says, no one wakes up heavy and decides to do surgery right off.

Home and sleeved. I got the sleeve yesterday and came home about 4pm today. I have to say.....yesterday SUCKED. I was certain I made a mistake. I kept falling asleep from the pain meds, thankfully. The worst part is my doc won't let you have even ice chips until the swallow test. So nothing by mouth from midnight wednesday/Thursday until today when they FINALLY let me have water at around noon. My lips were so dry. So grateful to this place because y'all said to get Chapstick. :-) Now the good... I had about a half ounce of broth and I have been sipping on crystal light. It is all staying down. I still hurt when I get up or down or cough or sneeze or laugh but it was major surgery so I expected that. I know I will be glad I did this in a few days but right now I am not sure. My friend who had this a year ago said she felt the same thing. Also, my team's therapist said it is really common. So don't panic if you feel that way, she said. I may have to sleep in a recliner for a few days as I can't get comfy in my bed yet. But today is light years better than yesterday and I am hopeful about tomorrow being even better. Tomorrow's goal is to get in 10grams of protein.

That's awesome. I hopefully join you on the bench soon. Surgery is tomorrow. How did you feel postop?

Thank you for posting this! I go tomorrow and was wondering what to pack.

I admit it - I stole parts of your letter. I've been terrified to tell two of my friends as they are both heavy and have made comments about weightloss surgery in the past. Still, I know they wouldn't forgive me if I had surgery and didn't tell them. Hopefully your letter will pave the way.

Glad to hear you're doing well, NewGirlie! I'm scheduled for Thursday and terrified. I don't know if I can do this, y'all. I'm so scared I'm not going to make it through the surgery! I did join myfitness pal, but mostly to get in the habit of logging food post op. Does everyone use that or realizemysuccess.com?

Thursday will be three weeks on Optifast with another to go. Wow, I guess that means three weeks today which I totally didn't think about until just now. You aren't expected to be completely perfect. We were talking in workshop and all of us have had to do little modifications to make it work. I'm allowed 1/2 cup of either cucumber or celery a day. I have been "cheating" by having a whole cucumber some days as I sometimes just need to CHEW something. It's seriously bad when I'm thinking of gnawing on the people who walk into my office. I am not a big sweet eater and all the optifast stuff is sweet. My weakness is crunchy salty foods and there's none of that on Optifast. Bleh. I also added a cup of low sodium broth with one of the shakes so it feels more like a meal. Are you allowed sugarfree popsicles or Jello? Those are helpful. The tropical pops are MUCH more flavorful than the "red, orange, grape" package which taste like the "Bug Juice" they used to serve at summer camp. I've started tracking it on myfitnesspal.com thanks to a recommendation here and the extra half cup of cucumber still has me under my nutritionist's goals. I took thanksgiving as a "cheat meal" and told my doctor I would be doing so. I guess my stomach was just not ready as I had to go running to the bathroom because it did not stay down. The only thing that would stay down was the berries. I don't recommend this, btw, as it was hard to go back on the liquids after the cheat. If you want to complain rant talk about the Optifast, feel free to pm me. Oh, and when they say get the Fiber pills, do it. That or buy stock in Immodium because holy batman, it's bad.

You look amazing. That is really inspiring!

As for clothes - my surgeon has a clothes swap at their support group meetings because what is too big for you might be just right for someone who started out bigger. They had a ton of stuff.

I had my pre-op teaching class last Tuesday and I have had a really hard time sleeping ever since. I think I knew this was major surgery but I hadn't really....known it, if that makes any sense? Three hours of all the life changes was very overwhelming and I'm really freaking out. I'm going to see if I can get in with their therapist as I'm scared. I am 99.9% certain this is the right thing for me. Probably even 100% if I think about it logically but emotionally, I'm terrified I'm making a mistake. I can't wait for the post-op diet, though. My pre-op is so restrictive that clear liquids sounds like a party to me. How sad is that? I was talking to my niece about the surgery and she asked if this means I'll lose my belly. When I said yes, she commented that she's glad I'll have my lap back for her to sit in before she's too big. That almost made me cry.

Are you in my head? I have had to take something for sleep the last two nights or I stay up for hours obsessing over how I am going to die in surgery or without it. I can't decide if this is right or wrong. I am terrified to go through with this and equally terrified not to do it. I wish it were just over so I couldn't obsess anymore. Is it December 8th yet?

I found them at world market and they are also on Amazon. http://www.torani.com/home/products They have great sugarfree syrups that you can add to the shakes to make them taste better. I especially like the Peanut Butter one in the chocolate shake. It's like a peanut butter cup. Da Vinci also has some http://www.davincigourmet.com/products/sugar_free_flavored_syrups/

I need to get one of those ticker things because as of Friday I am..........15 lbs down on this preop nightmare of a diet. Yay! I needed to hear that since Wednesday night they weighed me and only said 5lbs. Turns out they had the starting weight written down wrong. The nurse weighed me TWICE on Friday to be sure because she was in shock. Woooooo! My surgery is two weeks from Thursday. I can't wait, I am sooooooo done with this Optifast stuff. I go today to do my will and medical POA. Tomorrow is my "workshop" with the nutritionist and therapist. Any idea what we're going to do? They said to bring my support person and it may last two hours so I'm wondering what it will entail...

I know it's small but I'll take all the victories I can - After one week on the liquid diet I've lost 5lbs pre-op. Another 4 and I break a barrier. Even cooler was our support group last night - as a whole we'd lost 923 lbs. Ok, my 5lbs were NOT a big part of that, but still...it was neat to be on the losing side.

I'm on a four week Optifast diet. It's not easy and I'm glad someone told me about the Torani (sp?) syrups because they make it much better. Also, the Opti chocolate bar is a full INCH smaller than the other two Opti bars so unless you love chocolate, skip it. I am not a big chocolate fan but I tried it and it's....almost too dense for me. Also, since i rarely get to chew anything with the Opti shakes, I was pissed it was smaller. They said it would constipate me but I am having the opposite problem. Which is more weight lost, I guess. The chicken Soup, by the way, is good but hard to dissolve in Water. I am almost a week in and I've stuck to it the entire time. If you want to commiserate once you start, let me know and I'll send you my email. I have other health problems (PAH, sleep apnea, type 2 diabetes), so he wanted me to do the maximum liquid if possible. I agreed but now I think I regret it! I keep focusing on how it'll help me recover faster.

Geez, I think I picked the program with the longest liquid diet! I'm already on mine. I'm planning a cheat meal on Thanksgiving. I promised the doc I wouldn't over indulge but I do want to eat something. It's exactly 2 weeks from the start of my liquid diet to Thanksgiving and another two weeks exactly to my sleeve date, December 8th, so I think it's a good cheat meal. By the way, just because you love spicy food doesn't make it a good "last meal" pre the liquid diet. Red Curry was NOT a good idea once the liquid got into my system and I ended up in the bathroom. (Apologies if that's too crude but really - don't make that mistake.)

I have to either go pick up another week of my liquid diet by this coming Wednesday or have my sister pick it up for me. I'm really depressed on this liquid diet. I'm trying to stick to it around people who are eating and it's hard. On top of that, it's causing spikes and valleys in my blood sugar so I feel crappy. In addition, I've done the Optifast diet in the past and failed at it because it's so extreme. I live/work 30 minutes from the hospital where they keep the food. My sister lives around the corner from them and works where I work. So it's easy for her to pick up my food and bring it to me. This would be the simplest option. But, I think I need to hear the positive reinforcement of "You've lost weight on this! You're on track for surgery!" If I go pick it up, they weigh me and I will get that. The other side of this is what if I'm NOT losing and I go down there and I haven't lost or I haven't lost enough. I'm trying to make this surgery about me getting healthy and not about a number. I had bulimia as a teen and the focus on numbers is hard for me. I don't look at the scale when I weigh down there so there's no way I could weigh myself and know if I've lost or not. I'm at a size where it's all elastic so nothing really fits differently. I can ask if they can weigh me before the support group that's this Wednesday. That way I will have a safe place to go talk about it if I haven't lost and it throws me into a bad place. Any opinions? I'm trying to stay motivated for these four weeks. I feel like the surgery is so far away I can't even see it yet. Thanks in advance.

I haven't cheated and everyone I've seen today has told me how much thinner I look so I think it will be good news. I think I'll be brave and go weigh.

My surgeon requires optifast unless I really can't tolerate it. However I took some of the syrup suggestions on here and it is getting better. Thanks!