both my wife and i have had WLS. she had RNY and i had VSG. and during both surgery's there was a lot anxiety about one of us possibly not surviving the operation. that is a real possible outcome, but you just about as likely to die in a car accident. the thing that you must stress to him is if you don't start this journey you will die years earlier than you would if you do. obese people are dying younger and younger these days. it is just fine to be selfish but its not just for you. it for you, him, your children, and your future grandkids. Our life has changed for the better since having our surgery's and yours can too. if he continues to not want to support you, don't forget you have tens of thousands of us out here to help support you. but when its all said and done his mind will change when 5 or 6 months after surgery he puts his arms around you and kisses you, then he picks you up and carries you to the bedroom. i know i felt like a teenager again when i did that to my wife after her surgery and now we can do all the things we dreamed about because we a physically, mentally, and with the money we have saved on medications and grocery's, financially able to do them. it isn't the easy way out, trust me it's not easy, but it's the proven and safest way. if that doesn't work have him contact me and i will talk to him because i have been there and done that.