Marimaru

Annie, are you still wearing the clothes you wore before? If you are, and you buy a few new things in a small size, I can almost guarantee people will notice. Also, sometimes people don't say anything because they don't want to embarrass you or anything, you know? Don't let it get to you too much for now.

Honestly, shy may be in a fair amount of denial. I denied my weight gain for a LONG time. Sure, I was overweight and could stand to lose a few pounds... HOLY CRAP I NEED TO LOSE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS!!!! It was a bit of a shock when I MADE myself see what I looked like, how much I weighed and what was "normal". I had a friend in high school who was bigger than me, so I figured I was 'okay' if I stayed smaller than her... her and I both gained weight proportionately over the years, I was still smaller than her tho, maybe your friend feels something like this? I hope it can get worked out, I've lost alot of friendships for various reasons, mostly that most of the friends I've had are still living the same lives they lived in high school (10 years later), and it drives me nuts! but all of the friendships lost for whatever reason hurt.

*who* you are and *what* you look like don't have to be related, in fact, they often aren't. Alot of us feel like we are getting to know our *true* selves as we lose this shell we call fat. I am sorry about your mom, she honestly is probably jealous that you have the strength to do something about 'who you are' even though it has nothing to do with 'who you are'. My mom told me the other day that I only ever 'swatted' at losing weight, and that I'm doing the same thing with surgery that I could have done without it to lose weight. SHE *paid* for my surgery, and this is the first of anything I've heard like this. She's tried to quit smoking as many times as I have tried to diet, and you know what? She still smokes! Sometimes I think she understands, and other times she just proves that she has no idea.

I get nice compliments often. Mostly from my family. My sisters and I go to the same gym, and they both told me that they've come in when I've been on the elliptical and they didn't know it was me. That one is probably the best, lol.

Wow, I would probably have to muster up some strength and confront her. What does your fiance say?? Maybe HE could say something to her, seeing as she's his sister... The thing about not mentioning anything, is that she'll think she got away with it without you noticing, and do it again, probably bigger. I don't know if she's normally vindictive or anything, but jealousy can do weird things to people...

I am 5' 6", and at 200 lbs, I was able to wear 14's. 14 jeans and L tops. Except at Kohls, there it's 16 and XL, lol. I said to my friend the other day that probably I could find a store that had a 12 I could fit in, but it's not worth the effort just to say I am a 12, lol.

Ghost, Maybe see how this weekend goes, and if you are unable to do it, then I agree with Green, and you should write her a letter. If she didn't believe you when you were younger about what the issue was, maybe you can try to explain it again, with some of the struggles over the next 10 years in trying to get over it. I did not have that thought, but I was a C cup by 6th grade, and that really does something to a person. We'll just say I didn't get them from my mom, and she used to tease me all the time, as did my younger sisters. Also, just before that age, my parents got divorced and I was living with my dad then, and was also living with him when I got my period for the first time. HE had no clue how to deal with it. I had issues about my breasts for years, but other issues in my general upbringing kept me from saying anything, I just stuffed all the feelings away. I have joked with my mom about the idea, like I said above, that having big breasts so young 'does something to someone', her answer to that was "you think?!" but, I don't think she has ANY CLUE what-so-ever, just like my weight issues in general, but that's another story.

I take the controlled release Wellbutrin, and I have not had a problem

Heartburn is an interesting thing amongst bandsters. Some people who had it frequently, don't get it after being banded (me), some people who never had it before being banded, get it after being banded. For me, the only 2 times I have had heartburn was once when I was too tight with my fill, and once when I took Aleve for the tendinitis in my wrist. Since your doctor asked you about it specifically, you may want to mention it to him.

Brandy, I agree that you have to do something at least for yourself... For me, if my DH didn't talk to me for days other than "get my food" he'd be starving or wearing it on his head! Maybe one night when he is saying sweet things to you while he thinks you are asleep, you should respond. Sometimes you can get a person to talk if it's just the right moment. I think sex really is an important part of a relationship. Not really the 'act' of it, but the feelings it can generate. And if your husband wont have sex with you and you bring it up and hear "oh not this again" I would say "Yes, this again, and again, and again until you can make me understand". It's aggressive, but you need to drag this out of them. I think especially if you are trying to decide whether to stay with them (or in Tracy's case, marry them as well). Anyhow, I guess my only advice is to get aggressive in finding the answers you need. I'm not an aggressive person, and it wouldn't be easy for me. I am in fact in counseling as a "recovering doormat", learning how to stand up for myself and not be walked all over. But in my case, it was my DH who pointed out that the rest of my family was doing this to me. Intimacy is important, and it's kind of the whole picture; touching, kissing, caressing, sex, saying I love you; I think honestly that if any of that is missing, just out of balance.

I depends on your carrier, I have cingular, and didn't have any problem at all.

Woo! Collar bones, I forgot!

The Melina band (from what I researched a while back when someone mentioned it) is a non adjustable band. It ended up having the same types of issues as we can have (slippage, erosion) but the biggest problem that I read about was the band getting to tight (from swelling of the irritated stomach). Perhaps that's why someone started researching making an adjustable one.

I believe that some people do rush into PS, but that is their choice. My intention is to give most of my skin time to heal and see where it ends up. Some spots I wont have surgery on even if they stay the way they are now, mostly it's my thighs and my tummy that I am going to wait and see what they do. Both have come back pretty nicely so far, and with 55 lbs to go, could end up lookin' pretty darn good! One thing that I am having done one way or the other is to have my breasts lifted. I don't have any rashes, and I wouldn't try to create them for the sake of insurance, but I have asked my insurance how much tissue has to be removed in order to qualify for a reduction. If my insurance will pay for my F cups to be D cups, I will probably go that route, otherwise I'll pay for a lift myself, because I don't want them any smaller than that.

Despite what the lap band surgeon says, I would do both, since you are already out anyway. If you were just looking into PS, I could see where he's coming from, but since someone is in there anyway, I would go for it...l

Wishin' you well

Unfortunately the snack monster often has little to do with actually being hungry/not satisfied. I also have a victim of this monster quite frequently. One of the things that works best is keeping my hands occupied with something I don't want to get food on, such as yarn work, or video game controllers, lol. Sometimes, I will make shaved ice in my blender, and put sugar free syrup on it for a snow cone like thing.

Are you having to buy your ticket last minute? That's an incredibly expensive airline ticket. Honestly, if you want to PM me when you are flying and where to/from, I will probably be able to find you something cheaper. I book travel stuff for my boss/mom all the time. I do not recommend the drive. I flew home from Mexico to California 3 days after my surgery, and while I wasn't in too much pain, the flight made me nauseas, and sleep was good. If I had to drive, I would honestly drive 6 to 8 hours a day and find hotels. I wouldn't try to do 12 hour stretches, and like someone else said, you'd need to stop frequently to walk around. Good luck with whatever you decide, and please keep us posted!

Gardena California (not too far from LAX). I was in Hawaii on the Big Island last month. Everyone there was super nice . I could so live there.

Lessee... I have been banded 3 years as of yesterday (O.O) ~I sit cross legged without even thinking about it (although sometimes I realize when I'm sitting that way comfortably and smile). ~I can walk right by the plus size section of just about any store I shop at. ~No W in my shoes! ~My sex life is much better than it was (and that wasn't bad to start with) ~I can shop at department stores and they'll have my size in whatever I want ~I don't feel so lazy that I don't want to just jump up and do things ~I LOOKED GOOD IN MY WEDDING DRESS (and I felt that way too, not just that everyone was telling me) ~There's something about weighing less than I ever did in high school that puts a little extra skip in my step ~I had to have my engagement ring resized before my wedding. It and my wedding ring are a "normal" size (7.25) ~My class ring is even big on my middle finger That list seems short, but I can't think what else to put on there right now. Despite having 55 more lbs to go before I reach goal, things are SO much better than they were before, and even though I would be frustrating staying here, if for some reason I had to stay at this weight, I would still do it all over again.

Well, as soon as you start eating, things start moving through the band... slowly. If you take a bite that is too big or isn't chewed well enough (or even sometimes when you eat too fast), the food *can't* get past the band, which causes discomfort. If things are moving like they are supposed to, you aren't stuck..

I do okay with some of the nigiri (piece of fish on a clump of rice) sushi, but not the roll sushi, the seaweed doesn't chew or dissolve well. Sashimi really is the best though. If you skip the rice altogether you get a high protein, low cal meal! edamame can had some calories to it (the soy beans they serve as an appetizer), but it's good protein too.

My husband tells me he has read things that state that the Mexican gov't actually provides guides on how to enter the US illegally. I have not seen this documentation, he's just told me about it. I believe the US gov't and the Mexican gov't both seriously need to overhaul their thoughts/policies/enforcement on this, whether the above is true or not. As has been stated, if companies would get in trouble for hiring illegals, and we didn't provide them with free healthcare, etc, etc, it wouldn't look so pretty here for them. Also, I know there are lots of illegal immigrants from other countries, but where I live, the Mexican population is the thickest and the most prominant... all countries who cause hordes of their citizens to run away just for something better need to rethink themselves. Throw them all out vs give them all citizenship I think that we could do both. There would need to be a penalty for having purchased ID's and whatnot, but to those people who are actually paying taxes, maybe we should offer them to help them gain legal status. The ones who are living on welfare, and sitting outside 7/11's and Home Depots looking for work, get the boot. I do feel compassion for these people, but non-action isn't the answer to compassion. And they knew what they were risking when they came over here illegally. I do not think we should put someone in prison for being here illegally. I think we need to send them home. If the gov'ts could work together, maybe we'd send them home and THEIR gov't would put them in prison, or something, I don't know. But I do know there are kind of 2 groups in the "illegal immigration" list; Those who come here because they want an opportunity to have a better life. They get jobs, and pay taxes, etc. And then the other group that is a total drain on our society. There's probably an inbetween, I don't know, and if anyone feels there are other groups I'm not thinking of, please tell me. I like to try to be as open minded as I can. To Mark's question earlier (pages were added to this while I was out of town, lol), I can't answer whether I would enter another country illegally. I would like to think that I would work very hard to do it the legal way, but I've never experienced anything even close to what many of these people must go through to get them to uproot their lives, so I don't know what I would do.

There are some teens on the board, there are also a number of threads for 'bandsters in their 20s' that you might look into. You aren't 20 yet, but those of us that are were likely big teenagers as well (I was, I am 25). Welcome!

Hare, on average, it's 1 to 2 lbs per week, or 4 to 8 lbs per month. But, average means some weeks you wont lose anything and other weeks you'll lose 5, or 10, or whatever. I read something recently that says .5 lbs per week to 2 lbs per week is average, and if that's true I'm average, at .51 lbs per week, lol.