Marimaru

My mom likened relationships to growing vines. She said in a good relationship the vines intertwine basically equally, sometimes one vine will go straight, and the other will have to wrap around it, but other times it's the other way around. She said her relationship with my dad (and I've seen this in relationships I've been in before now) his vine grew straight and her vine was responsible for doing all the wrapping around to support it. It's a very visual metaphor, I hope it makes sense like this. I went to counseling for about 2 years to get over lots of issues instilled in me by my childhood. I can tell you that what my counselor did for me was validate a lot of my feelings and reactions. She explained that it was okay and normal for me to be angry about the things I was angry about. That meant a lot to me, because for most of my childhood I was told to "get over it". I was told here that I was allowed to be angry, and I was allowed to tell people I was angry and that things weren't ok. Anyway, if you find a good counselor, they will be able to validate your feelings, and they will also give you different ways to see things (better or worse). And please don't see counseling as a weakness. I can honestly say I've never met anyone who couldn't use a good counselor. :rolleyes2:

I want to get my eyes done before I have kids. I had thought I wanted my boobs n' stuff done, but I've decided I'll wait for all the physical stuff after I'm done having kids... but to not have to deal with contacts or glasses during pregnancy or, with little children sounds like the way to go. My nephew grabs my glasses whenever he gets the chance, and there's just nothing quite like baby finger prints, lol.

My BMI was 45.something and I did not have any co-morbidities. I was 23, and I knew that things were only going to get worse, and it wouldn't be long before I did have them. Eating is different now, and there are days when it's hard. But I'm in a 14/16 instead of a 22/24 and that makes life much easier all around. In fact, I recently moved, and found a new doctor and she DIDN'T get on me about my weight, imagine that!

If I want to lose, I have to count calories. The band restricts my portions, but it doesn't restrict me enough that it doesn't matter what I eat. Also, I wouldn't say the point of the band is to not feel hungry, it's just to help you not eat so much at one sitting. You have to be sure to eat things that will keep you satisfied longer. Simple carbs do not do that, but solid protien does. Also, I've made a habit recently (well, not quite a habit, but I hope it will be) that if I am "hungry" I have to drink a glass of iced tea before I eat anything, unless it's a normal meal time. If I'm still "hungry" then I can get a little snack. I find a few things with this, a) if the tea is really cold, I have to sip on it, so it takes a while to get it down, :rolleyes2: I usually pop on my computer or something while I'm drinking my tea, and sometimes I'll get side tracked and forget I was "hungry", c) if I still want something, I can get a healthy snack and another glass of tea. I put "hungry" in quotes, because more often than not, I'm not really hungry but bored, or whatever. Head hunger really is my worst enemy.

That, is a really, really good idea. I am going to have to remember that!

How old is your daughter? My parents' divorce was very difficult on me, but one of the things that helped the most, was that before my mom left, she took me out to dinner, sat me down, and told me she was leaving. I was 8 or 9 at the time. She was going to leave it at that, but when I demanded an answer, she laid it all out for me. To be completely honest, I do not remember this conversation, I guess I blocked it out or something, but hearing about it did a lot to explain why I wasn't surprised to come home from school and find the power to be off, etc (dad had/has issue with bouncing checks, paying bills, etc). If your daughter is old enough/mature enough, you can just tell her straight out that you are tired of being accused of something you have never and would never do. I think counseling goes a long way for people that don't realize they are treating people a certain way, but the other person has to A) be willing to go and be willing to listen. If a person is treating a certain way on purpose... well, I think it's harder to change their mind.

I'm debating about getting this done this summer. Of course, any time you mention it, someone knows someone who knows someone who's eyes were ruined because of it, heh.

I would call the office, and leave a message for the doctor. If they want a reason, tell them it's confidential. Then when he calls back, tell him that his staff is being incredibly rude, and you are concerned about your insurance approval, seeing as they evidently have no desire to be sure it's submitted right. Often a doctor doesn't know their staff is misbehaving until they are told.

I don't think you are over-reacting, but something that has helped me with my parents is this; I have realized that they are both pretty much set in their ways. Not much I say to them is actually going to change the way they behave about certain things. An example would be your decision to be really vague with your mom, since you know she is going to tell your stepdad everything. Unfortunately, we just have to get used to some of this stuff because it isn't going away.

I think there are a few other people on this site that have done the same thing. One poster that comes to mind is JQ Public. I'm pretty sure he didn't have surgery, but wanted some form of support and liked out group. Congrats on your success!

I got some boots from target that are knee high with ~4 inch heels. Regular shoes with heels that high would kill, but I think since they are boots with good ankle support, they work better.

38F here. My husband loves mine, even considering what they look like naked. Like someone else said, I actually like the size of mine. I just want to get them lifted so they are in the right place! Even still, my husband is nervous about the results of surgery. He's seen the same 'bad surgery' picks of me, and I think he'd rather have them the way they are than mutilated...

After pregnancy your body shape in general has changed. My sisters both went through this. Congrats on the weight loss though!

You might have your vitamin levels checked. It kind of sounds like your iron might be low (based only on my iron having been low at some point and being tired all the time).

Congrats

I got sick to my stomach when I read that PETA article yesterday. I told my DH yesterday that if there's a Hell, I hope there is a special place in it with people of this kind of level of hypocrisy.

I would say not to answer anything from the guy. No phone calls, no yahoos, no texts. He'll get the idea eventually. If it's *just* friendship he wants, that would be one thing, but if he's feeding you lines, and you're biting, you both know it's not only friendship he wants and he's just biding his time. Also, knowing that he has another girlfriend doesn't make you responsible for making sure that he doesn't cheat on her, but at the same time, if he left her, and came to you, how would you ever know he didn't start seeing someone else, telling them all the same things he keeps telling you while being with this girl?

If you search the forums there's a large number of threads on flying with the band. I've answered a number of them myself, as flying does make me extra tight for at least a day. Scuba diving seems to have no real effect one way or the other for me though, and I've been diving a number of times since being banded. I will say that using less than 20 lbs of weight to get down under the Water has been AMAZING! It's so nice :smile:

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it that much. Unless you've told everyone about the surgery, most people probably wont notice, and if they do, you can just say things like "had a big lunch" "just wasn't that hungry" "watchin' the waistband" etc, etc.

If someone emails a mod, I bet they'd create it for us

You could call the company that sent you the letter and ask them how they got your info. I think there is some requirement for them to tell you.

Avoid eating or drinking for a few hours before bedtime. I get reflux (no acid, just water or whatever) if I eat before bed and drink water after that, or if I need to take a pill at bed time and drink water for that (if I'm really tight). Last time was the other morning when I had a migraine. I took something for it with some water and had to basically sleep sitting up, because I am SUPER tight in the morning. After about an hour I could lay down and sleep normally.

If my DH ever asked me, I'd tell him. I'll tell him when I reach a mini goal what I'm at, and he knows what I started at. *shrug*

If you aren't that far from your PS's office, you could just 'pop in' and ask to speak to the manager. Alternately, call them and tell them you want a copy of all of your records put together for you to pick up. When they ask why, tell them that you intend to find a doctor who's staff actually wants the business.

Good for you! That's an even better solution than going to your parents', especially since the place is only in your name. Definitely be there when he gets his stuff, and definitely have someone there with you when he is there.