Marimaru

"I weighed 165 lbs. when I was 13 and was considered a fat freak; now I can't wait to weigh 165 again." That hit home. Really really hard too. I was actually 11 at the time, but that number haunts me. I was a pudgy kid and my parents put me on my first diet when I was 7 or 8. I remember sneaking candy in bed when the lights were out. I think that first pudgyness when I was a kid was a genetic metabolism issue, but it became a control issue after that. I would sneak candy in bed, I would buy Snacks in school with my allowance, whatever. When I was 11 and in Jr. High my dad put me on slimfast and weighed me EVERY STINKING MORNING. I was at 165 at that time and that's why that number haunts me. I would get up to 170ish, and lie about my daily weigh in because he would hound me about what I was eating, and I didn't want to hear it. My friends weren't on diets and I didn't want to be either! This was also shortly after my parent's divorce, which didn't help matters much. I went to live with my mom when I was 13, and she tried to cook good meals and not keep junk in the house, but I was already "conditioned". I'd buy things at the school cafeteria, or at the market that was on the way home from school. I gained steadily throughout high school. I wasn't paying enough attention to notice, but my mom tells me that when I bought my first car and moved out I gained a good 40 lbs quickly. She hit the nail on the head when she said it was about control. My apartment, my car, I can do what ever I want, and what I want to do is eat a can of frosting with a spoon! At the time I had a friend who was a bit bigger than me, and I kind of always justified myself by saying that as long as I didn't get bigger than her, I was ok. So we got bigger together >.< So I guess that's why I'm fat. There's probably something that started from before I was 7, but I can't remember...

no exersize. My weight loss is hampered right now, so I started walking on wednesday. Calories are good. I'm even allowing myself the occasional treat, and still not blowing up my calorie intake. Last time I started exersizing I was in my first plateau, and wasn't losing anything, and I walked for three weeks and still didn't lose anything, so I quit walking. I got a fill that started my loss again, but I never picked up the walking. I can't take another fill now (that would be too much), so I've started walking. I'm hoping that I'll start seeing loss soon and my head will equate that with the walking and so I'll have motivation!

I don't count nuffin. Well, for the most part. Every once in a while I'll log onto fit day and track. I did track all this week to see how I was doing because I've been on a plateau. Turns out I'm UNDER eating. So I've been finding ways to sneak in more calories. It's a good way to do a reality check every now and then.

My explaination is gonna be a pain, but here it goes: My friends and I in high school were all into Anime (Japanese Animation), and we all had our own character designs that we'd made up and stories we messed around with (I don't know if we ever thought we'd publish anything, but whatever). My character's name was Marina. At some point in the stories she used Maru so as not to give out her real name. I signed up on a board as Marina-chan one time, and someone asked if they could call me Mari for short. So now it's MariMaru. In the same grain... my AIM is MysticTaeza. Taeza is a word that I made up for a comic I was working on (again, something started in high school). I might still do something with the story if I ever feel that my drawing skills are up to par, but I'll probably call it something else. So it's a different flavor of "geek" but geeky none-the-less

Because I need a little pick me up, I decided to see how many people we've lost. The total on the most recent post, translates into just over 64 150lb people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go us!

Betty 54 Paula 43 Kelly 65 Becky 77 Carol 102 Alex 110 Nana 49 Rich 20 Larae 22 Maureen 73 Marie 56 Wyld Blu 73 Penni 54 Vera 60 Darcy 59 Kelly 39 michelle 135 mary 65.4 greg 77 Sharon 35 Tricia 60 Darcey 23 cindy 88 Melissa 39 Michelle 80 Jonathan 27 Lisa 70 Lauren 23 Babs in TX 150 Bright 82 Jamie 5 Megan 60 Katie 29 Bobby H. 46 Estela 23 Angela 37.5 Terri 43 Teresa 86 Kristie 187 Pat 26.5 Carmen 98 Rica 60 Deniseg 35 Sue 101 Nancy 71 Nancy Smiles 67 PamRN Teresa 100 samy 22 Zoe 50 Audrey 172 Nancy 61 Melissa 54 Sarah 41 --------------- total 3608.4

I was at a restaurant once and it happened to be a tight night, so I had a few bites of my food and that was it. The waitress asked me like three times if everything was ok, was I sure something wasn't wrong. I went to the restroom and she came by while I was away and asked my boyfriend if there really wasn't something wrong. I don't care who knows about my surgery, and he knows this, so he explained it to the waitress so she would quit worrying. It's the only time I've had anything like that happen, so it didn't really bother me. It was kind of funny. For the drink thing, I usually order a drink when the waiter/ress first comes by and I sip on it until dinner arrives. It keeps me from munching (for the most part) when everyone else gets appetizers. For the most part when people talk about this being the easy way I just shrug my shoulders and say "even if it is, so what". Although... I haven't actually seen my dad's side of the family since I had this done. Dad claims they are happy for me, but we'll see. lol. They are also the "nevermind what's going on in MY life, let's talk about YOU" (but not in a good way).

I have the 4cc inamed band, and I was filled with .6cc during surgery. From my understand fill is used to make sure that the band is 'snug' around your stomach (not tight of course). I didn't actually know this until I went for my fill and they pulled it out. lol...

I'm not divorced or married, but my parents got divorced when I was 10. I'm sure that my parents tried to hide most of their problems from us, but I knew things weren't good, and probably my younger sister did. My youngest sister was too young to understand. (I'm the oldest of three). By the time I was 13 I knew full well that my parents separating was the best thing for everyone involved. Don't let yourself bear this because you think it's better for your kids. I can say from experience that they probably aren't quite as in the dark about your problems as you think (at least probably the oldest). I've heard about hotlines where you can call them, and they'll help you figure out how you can live on your own, or help you get on your feet to live on your own. I hope that things turn out good for you, and end up in the way that's best for you and your children.

Hey Emmy- If you are PBing at all, then you have restriction. You probably don't have much restriction, because you don't have a fill and the swelling from the surgery has gone down. There are a few people that have good restriction just from the band, but most of us need a fill or 2 or 3 to get going. The needle they use for the numbing agent is really really tiny, and the needle they use for the fill itself is quite a bit bigger. I'm a baby, so I would always want the numbing stuff, but I can see how people would do without. Good luck!

Pajamas! I didn't wear a bra either, but I was able to wear one the day after surgery to go walking around. But I wore pajamas that had pants and a little tanktop. They let me change back into them after surgery too. I like the overalls idea tho...

I've actually had some conversation with my mom about this very thing. She mentioned that my ex probably did that very thing, and thought he got to act however he wanted because he "saw through my fat" or whatever. I have hope that my current boyfriend is not like that, but time will tell as the lbs go down. He was very supportive of my surgery despite his fears, and we are going strong at the moment . I appreciate the comments though, it's defiantely something to keep in the back of my mind. As for your comments about the older women who are dressing like they are Paris Hilton... there's definately something to be said for dressing your age. I'm 22, and will probably be 24 or 25 by the time I get to goal, but I know I have stretch marks and scars that no one wants to see. And my skin wont be as tight as I might want it. I have no visions of wearing a bikini on the beach, but wearing a one piece bathing suit that doesn't have one of those skirty things would be nice.

I'm not married (yet), but my boyfriend was worried that I was going to lose weight and dump him. I told him that he'd noticed me and given me the time of day when I was overweight, and that anyone else who hadn't, and started when I got thinner wasn't worth my time. We hit a rocky spot a few months ago, but it wasn't related I don't think. He was having trouble at work, and finances were tight and so things were tense, but now everything is better again. I think alot of times us bigger people let things go on that shouldn't, and then we start to lose weight and a little of that 'self esteem' stuff starts pokin' out and the other party doesn't know how to take it. Anyhow...

Well, I'm 22, and didn't know about it sooner, so I can't say I wished I'd done it sooner. There is one fill I wished I'd gotten earlier rather than plateauing for 3 months . I don't have any regrets. I'm glad I found the band, because the bypass wasn't an option for me.

Your body is probably in a bit of shock. When was the last time you dropped weight like that? Also, make sure you are getting in ENOUGH calories and protien. If you don't get enough, your body will hold on to every last one of them. Also, don't weigh all the time. Lots of things effect your weight. I weight every Monday. I've found myself in a pattern where I don't lose for about 2 weeks, then I'll lose for a couple of weeks, then I wont lose for a couple of weeks. At the end of that 2nd week of not losing I dread getting on the scale for fear that it hasn't moved, but so far, it has been I'm at 6 months out, and down 40 lbs, so you are already halfway caught up to me

I sure know that feeling. I think part of it is "clean plate syndrom". It wasn't pushed into me too hard by my parents, but then I dated this guy who ate everything off his plate (and any other plates that weren't empty), and so I kind of got into the habit of emptying my plate... and then I got banded. I feel so wasteful because I can't measure well what i'm going to be able to eat. Even if I put on my plate half of what I'd have done before it's still way too much and I end up throwing a bunch away. But on the other hand, when I know I should be done, I throw the extra away, or I'll keep grazing at it. I ain't gonna go dig it out of the trash, so throwing it away is the best option.

After each of my fills I have had a learning curve. I've had 2 so far. mashed potatoes are an issue for me unless they have a good amount of gravy or other such stuff. In my mind, we never get past the mushy stage. whatever we eat needs to be chewed into mush before we swollow it. Just be careful to yourself. Seriously think about what you are eating, and how it feels before you swollow it. Put down your fork/spoon/whatever in between bites. These things have helped me when I eat too fast. If you feel any pressure in your chest (even just a little) don't take the next bite until it's gone. You may not be done with your meal at that little bit of pressure, but definately wait until it passes to continue. Good luck with your christmas vacation

That is too funny! I gotta make sure I pay attention to not have that one happen

Basically, your body is freaking out and holding on to everything that it can. It's been put through alot, and it's got to adjust. If you've been reading the boards alot, I'm sure you've read 'anything lost before a fill is a bonus'. In the meantime, concentrate on healing and don't worry about the weight. Also keep in mind that what you dropped real fast after surgery was probably alot of Water as well, so your body is picking some of that back up as well. It's all normal, and it'll start to go back down again, but try not to stress over it too much until you get your first fill

I think 'planned' sabotage is much better than the random every day kind. But anyway... man... I don't know what I would do in a situation like that. I think that not eating around her is definately a step in the right direction. If she questions it you might just say "I don't have the willpower to be around you when food is around". Or something to that effect. She's got quite a few things to work through though. Denial is first. Then she needs to work through her jealousy of you. I have to think she's jealous that you had the courage to face yourself and do something about your problem. Which would why she would want to sabbotage you. How stressful... I hope that something gets to her. The idea of having a time and place for food in the office is something to think about, but you don't want everyone else feeling punished...

unjury is definately the best Protein I've tried so far. It's light. I mix it with milk and it doesn't make it significantly thicker. Good luck!

You could try potassium as well. That thing is also called a Pannus, or apron btw... Anyhow, it could be Protein. I've also heard people talk about back pain similar as well. They say that sometimes your fat can 'cushion' things, and then when it starts to go away, you start to notice some of these things. Anyhow, I would say talk to your doc and see what they say?

Make sure to do TONS of research, and read alot of these posts on the boards. Beyond the 'specifics' you can get from places like the Inamed website, here you can get real questions and answers that people asked just after being banded, and real experiences. And know that no matter how much research you do there's going to be things that you aren't expecting. Or that you are expecting, but you just don't know how it's actually going to feel. I personally have to eat slowly, and chew insanely well. I know when I'm done eating because I feel a certain pressure in my chest. I know that if I keep adding to this pressure, my meal is going to come back up on me. Good luck!

I also was banded in Mexico. For some reason this didn't make me nervous in the slightest. I was banded by Dr. Rumbaut in July. A day or two after my appointment was set, he called me personally. I was completely shocked. That probably helped with any nervousness I might have had about going down there. I've also been to Mexico dozens of times, so I don't really have any reservations about it in general. My band is the longest 'diet' I've succeeded at. I can't remember the last time I lost 30+ lbs. And to know I'm going to KEEP IT OFF is really amazing. I go to Dr. Kuri simply because he's closer, and he also is a really great, caring surgeon. Again, THANK GOD FOR MEXICO!!

On top of what everyone else said... I had another thought. Maybe he was being sarcastic the other way around. Like maybe he thinks you are paying too much attention etc, but didn't realize that mentioning your brownie was going to throw you in the dreaded guilt trip spiral. Anyhow, it was just a thought. However he meant his comment it totally lacked tact. I hope that your note writing goes well.