Shanny

I still have 2 more weeks before I have to go back to work, but I'm already scared to death about going back. I only told a handful of people why I was going out. I told my boss a partical truth about my surgery. I told her that I had to have stomach surgery and that I had to have an ulcer removed. It's not a total lie. I did have stomach surgery and the part of my stomach that an ulcer in it was removed during the sleeve procedure but, I just didn't tell her that I was also having weight loss reduction surgery. She's in her 80s and I really don't think she'd understand or would have given me the time off. Granted, she liked to make little quips, like, "You need the exercise, take this upstairs for me." But that's another story for another time. So anyway, I wanted my time off to be low key, but she sent an email to entire place telling everyone that I would be out for 2 weeks for a medical procedure and recovery which made everyone ask me what was going on. I told them that I had my ulcer taken care of. I know, omitting the truth is a lie, and I have never considered myself a liar until this point. But, now, the truth is going to come out. I'm scared to death about it! What am I supposed to say? Legally I don't have to say anything. But in the closeknit community that we work in I have to say something. Should I just say that I had stomach surgery and had my ulcer taken care of? Should I just fess up? If I do that then I'm going to have to tell my boss the whole thing. I'm already having nightmares about this. Since I can't eat, in the last 2 days I've started smoking again. I only have 2 coping mechanisms, food, and smoking. I only go to therapy once a week, so the other 6 days I'm on my own. I don't know what to do or why what other people think is so scary to me. Maybe it's because I've spent so much time trying to be invisible, that now that I'm changing and they can see me, I don't know what to do.

Can I tell you how pissed I was to see the email and then have everyone come to my office to ask me what was going on and if I was okay. I honestly didn't want anyone except for the 2 people that needed to know and the 4 people I wanted to know to know anything about it. I'm going to take these two weeks to get me together and let the chips fall where they may. Thanks for the advice!

My doctor made me take a drug test for nicotine before he would do my surgery, so I had to quit smoking. With no food or cigarettes, I had no coping skills. I had to get my meds readjusted with my shrink to keep from biting someone's head off. For me, I decided that I wanted surgery more than I wanted a cigarette. It was HARD, but it can be done. Just look at your goal and let that be your motivation for not smoking. I think the 2 days liquid diet was harder than not smoking. Good luck!

That's a good one, too!

So today makes 8 days post op. I went to the doctor today and I got told off. Apparently, I'm dehydrated. I'm not getting in enough fluids or Protein. Now, I can average about 2 oz at a time. Yet, he expects me drink 64 oz of Water and get in at least 50 grams of protein. How in the hell am I supposed to do that? The first 3 days I was so nauseous that I popped the nausea pills like candy. I drink, but I can't drink that much. My stomach won't hold that much. Before surgery, I could drink gallons of water a day. Now, 20 oz is about all I can do. He told me to set a timer and to drink 1 oz every 5 minutes while I'm awake. How am I supposed to do and get in 50 grams of protein? I HATE the protein suppliments. I don't like fruit flavored water. I either want fruit juice or water, not both. They don't make water flavored protein water. And the protein powders are too sweet. Do they make protein pills? He made me do blood work and I have to go back next week. If I'm still dehydrated he's threatened to put me back in the hospital with IV fluids. I can't figure this damn sleeve out! I worked my butt off to lose weight for the surgery and did everything that I was supposed to do for surgery. I don't want to throw it all away now. Does it ever get easier? Does it ever just fall all into place? I know that in the long run I'll be thankful that I did this, but today I'm seriously looking for the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow!

Yeah, I'm thinking that I'll eventually disclose the entire thing. I just don't want anyone to know yet. It's pretty noticable though, so I have to say something.

Before I had my son 13 years ago, I was a size 8. I was always "thick" but shapely. In fact, I was shaped how most black women that I know are shaped (I am black, btw). I had thick thighs, wide hips, a big butt, small waist, no stomach and DD boobs. I was also 130 pounds and 5'2". One of the things I loved the most about my short frame was my long neck. Well gues what? I was just sitting in my room and happened to look up in the mirror and there it was. My neck has resurfaced. The fat is gone from around it, and I can actually see it again. It looks weird to me, because I haven't seen it in so long. Or mabye it's because I've never noticed my collar bone be that prominate before, but whatever the reason, my neck is back. Maybe all this sipping and nasty ass Protein Water is worth having my neck back!

I have United and they covered it.

How did the CHinese food work for you? DId you get sick from it? How long post op were you after you ate it? When I can have soft foods I really want some but I'm afraid that it might make me sick.

I have 3 of them. None sleeve related and none on stretchy parts. I know I have pics of them. If I find them, I'll post them.

For me it's the embarassment of letting my life and my weight get so out of control that the only thing I could do to manage it again was to have surgery. People usually think that I have everything together. I'm always the caregiver and the fixer, but in my own head and my own life everything was falling apart. I was trying to make myself invisible. How can I explain to people that I was so low and hated myself so much that I want to disappear and by getting fat and making myself ugly so people would be repulsed by me and leave me alone I thought I was doing myself a favor. THat's crazy, right? For years it made sense. I can't explain that to people who know me now because I'm not that other woman anymore. I watch these other people go to gyms or do these diets and have these great results, but it didn't work for me. To know that I had to do this, something so drastic, just so that I could start over makes me feel inadequate in some ways. I'm still going to therapy to cope with it. I hope in time it'll change, but that's why I kept it a secret for 90% of the people in my life.

I'm pretty new to the site. I was sleeved 7 days ago, and I am...wait for it...a lesbian! Ha! I know that I wouldn't be able to go through this without the love and support of my girl. She's amazing. I look forward to meeting people with this, too, in common.

Today makes 6 days post op, and I'm having a bad day. I was never a binge eater, or an overeater, for that matter. More of a Pasta, bread, cheese eater and no excercise type. I'm still on the full liquid diet, so my choices are still pretty limited. However, I have been craving everything under the sun today! I want Chinese food, or pizza. My son had pizza last night and all I could do was look at it. I don't even like sausuage on my pizza, but God it looked so good. I'm hoping this is because I've been on liquids for 2 weeks now and I'm dying to taste real food, and not because I'm having some kind of bassackward reaction, where I'm going to start craving food after having surgery! Help?!?!?!?

Hi, I'm Shanny, and new to the site. I got sleeved 5 days ago - at GBMC Hospital, Dr. Peter Liao, and I've been home for 2 1/2 days. So far it's strange as all get out. Between my stomach making all of these weird bubbling, gurggling sounds, and not being able to tell hunger from nausea pains, the choronic diarrhea, the indigestion pains if I take too big of a sip - I think I may just might think this procedure was worth it. I'm finally on full liquids. Thank God, if I had to drink broth one more day I think I might have had to take a hostage. This may be TMI, but I noticed as long as I was on Clear Liquids I kept having these watery stools. I couldn't even tell when I had to go. I would think I had to pee, and when I tried, I would end up with diarrhea. That's not a good look. I've been on full liquids since yesterday, and having yogurt, and cream based Soups, and Protein shakes hopefully are firming things up. I can't wait until next week when it's puree food. I want to put everything in the blender! Also, I think I just figured out when I'm hungry. It doesn't feel like a hunger pain, but more like a gas bubble. I weighed myself today and I've lost 8 pounds since the surgery. In total, since I started this journey that makes 22 pounds all together over the last 7 months. My goal is to lose another 75 pounds. After trying countless diets and being able to keep the weight off for a few months, I finally got tired of the rollercoaster and the feeling of failure. I researched the surgery for 5 years and finally decided on the sleeve. I'm a little nervous because I didn't tell people at work that I was having it done. They're going to know that i did something because I'm losing so much weight. I mean, over 7 months, it's not that noticeable, but I lost 8 pounds in 4 days. THat's pretty quick, ya know. I guess I'm embarrassed, or I don't want to answer a bunch of questions. I don't want to explain to my coworkers that I'm a survivor of an extremely abusive relationship, where my son's donor tried to kill me on a regular basis, and I thought by gaining almost 100 pounds, I'd make myself ugly and that way no one would want me and therefore no one could hurt me. 13 years and thousands of dollars in therapy later I'm not in that place anymore. I don't want to be invisible anymore. I don't know if the people I work with are ready for that, or if they can understand that. Hell, people in my family have been telling me that "you don't need that" regarding the surgery, or "that's not normal" well, being 5'1" and 247 pounds isn't normal either. I may not have "looked" like I needed to do something drastic but I did. If the majority of my family wasn't supportive, I don't know what I think my coworkers would say. My son and my girlfriend have been so supportive, though. My girl, (we've been together for 2 years) adores me no matter what size I am. She came to the hospital with me, slept in the hospital room next to me, got up in the middle of the night with me whenever the nurse came in the room and called them if I was moaning with pain. She's taken off work this week to take care of me. She's been blending and straining, and giving me meds and protein like a Nazi - but that's because she loves me and she wants me to be happy. She bought me swanky tennis shoes for exercising, and the Zumba Fitness DVDs for Valentines Day (that's what I asked for). I've never had support like this before, but I can tell you it makes me all warm and tingly inside. Okay, so I'm going to wrap this up. This is an introductory post, so it's long. I just want to know, how long did it take for you to be able to drink without sipping? For your stomach to stop gurggling and making loud noises? For your bowels to go back to normal? For you to start feeling "normal" again? I'm hoping most of this is because I'm just out of surgery - but I'm scared this may be how it is for the rest of my life. I look forward to meeting you all! SW: 247 CW: 215 GW: 135

I need to make a list! I forgot for 2 days while I've been home getting sick because I drank too fast, or hating Clear liquids and medicines. You just reminded me to remind myself why I did this. Thank you!

I had my surgery on Thursday at GBMC. Dr. Liao. The staff there was fantastic. So far, I've been sleeping so much better since I'm home! Good luck to you!