Shanny

15 years ago, I was thin. 15 years ago, I was going through a lot of crap. 15 years ago, my son's donor thought I was was his personal punching bag. 15 years ago, I was strangled, hit, beaten into a stupor, held out a window, raped, terrorized, stalked...you name it; he did it. 15 years ago, I played the role of a victim that had been a reoccuring theme in my life since I was 5 years old and that first predator found me on a baseball team. When I was 18, in college, I guess I had hidden the victim in me, until predator #2 found me, through a mutal friend, and one hellatious night in Philly made me leave college - it took me almost 16 years to finally get my degree after that night. I think all of these things were just shaping me up to be the type of victim that the donor was looking for. Ripe for the picking, so to speak, because in no time flat he was charming me, wooing me, and terrorizing the hell out me. The only good thing that came out of that relationship is my fantastic son! 13 years ago, I decided to gain a bunch of weight. Not only would it make me unattractive, but it would keep me safe. No one would hurt me, if I had this protective suit on. food, I learned, became my friend, my comfort, and it didn't hurt. It didnt' make me sad, but it didn't make happy. It just filled this hole I had. The problem was it was only temporary. So, 125 pounds later, and years of therapy, I started to hate that person that I saw in the mirror. The one that wanted to hide from everything. I thought how weak is this woman that needs to hide behind this suit. I'm not her. I entered into a wonderful relationship with an amazing woman, that treats me like a princess (did I mention that I lied to myself and everyone around me for YEARS about my sexuality? Maybe if I hadn't I wouldn't have gone through all the crap I did). 1 month agao, enter the sleeve. I'm now 49 pounds lighter. Everyday, it's coming off. My clothes are fitting differently and my body is changing. Now, I'm having the hardest time adjusting to my new body. I'm so excited about being able to lose weight. Before it never worked so I expected to fail when I tried. But this works, and I don't know what to do. I went shopping and I'm still trying on clothes in a 22/24, when I'm now a 16/18. Today, I have size 20 pants and 2x shirt. I was all excited because I got my pants at the Goodwill for $2.95 and one my friends said, you could have gotten then in a smaller size. I realized, I'm too self concious to buy clothes that fit. I'm excited as all hell about losing weight but I can't see it or embrace it. Does that make sense? When does the fat girl, hiding myself, baggy jeans and t-shirt, mentality go away? Why can't embrace this change? This is what I wanted. I have no reason to look back anymore. I'm all about looking forward. I talk to my therapist about this every week, and yes, she's helping me cope with my feeling about my past that I never dealt with, but I wonder how many of you go through this, or is it just me. How do I cope the changes that are happening everyday at record speed? Do you fit in your new body?

It's a tough road filled with many ups and downs. There's a lot of emotional things, and after the sleeve some getting used to the new things your body needs, and doesn't like, but in the end it's all worth it. This is your life, your health. If you don't have any other support, you've got us. Good luck. Keep us updated with your progress. We've all been through it, and some of us are still going through it. We've got your back! Good luck!

Hey there, I'm looking for clothes in a size 18 & 20. I'm short, but I can usually wear average lenght, or petites. I need dress pants, jeans...you name it. If you have something you're interested in parting with, please let me know. I'll pay for shipping.

I lost 20 over the 6 month plan. On the day of surgery I had lost the last 2 pounds to make it an even 20.

I had to be clears for 1 week, full liquids for 1 weeks, puree for 1.5 weeks, and then softs for 1.5 before solids. I'm glad my doctor did it that way because I couldn't tolerate anything more. whenever I tried to push the envelop and jump ahead to the next step, I made myself SICK!!!! I learned me lesson. I do wish that my plan allowed for tomato based products though. Can't have Pasta sauce for 4 months

Congratulations! That is WONDERFUL news!!!! I wish you and your family the happiest and healtiest of pregnancies. I will keep you all in my prayers! I'm so happy for you! That's so awesome!!!!!!

I don't think you'll have a choice. It takes very little for the food to back up on you, and in between the horrible gas, indigestion and vomiting, you'll quickly learn that when your stomach says your full, even if it's only been 3 bites, then you're full! There's no other feeling to describe it! You may still love the taste of things, but you learn not to love them so much on the way back up. I used to love hamburgers, but I swear, I hate ground beef right now. Everytime I try to eat it it gets stuck in my chest for HOURS. It's horrible and so painful. Turned me off from it, completely. Not wishing you any painful foods, but that's one of the things I love about my sleeve. It's that physical indicator that I HAVE to listen to when my own voice was too weak to tell my brain to stop eating. And for the record, sometimes, I don't even eat until I'm full, I just eat the 3 oz that's measured. I'm not hungry anymore, but I don't feel full, either. I just feel normal. I know that sounds weird, but it's the truth. I don't want to chance over eating, but lighter dishes I can go the whole 3 oz, probably more. My doc got me in the habit of eating the measured amount of food, not trying to gage my when I'm full. If I put 3 oz in a bowl, and eat less, that's fine. But, if I eat 3 oz, I haven't gone over and I'm not hungry so I don't want more. As I lose more weight and increase my calories I will be able to up my oz to 4 -6 oz. That seems like a lot to me!!!!

For me, I can't eat until I'm satisfied. Frankly because I've lost so much interest in food it's not funny. My stomach gets full at right around 3 oz of food. So, even though I measure my food, my internal scale says that's enough. If I eat one more bite, after I have that full pressure, I start to feel it backing up and it's not comfortable at all!!! But, eating still takes me so long. It takes me between 25-30 minutes to eat 3 oz of food, chewing 30 times, and waiting in between each time I take the spoon from my lips. I've learned that if I don't want indigestion, I 've got to eat very slowly. Trust me 5 minutes into eating I'm over it. I find myself holding food in my mouth because I don't want to swallow it, not because I'm not hungry just because I've lost interest in it. I wonder if I'll ever eat until I'm satisfied again. I'm not complaining. Eating until I was saited is what got me in this mess in the first place!

What kind of sick? You could try Pepto, or Maalox, or Gaviscon. They'll help with indigestion, heartburn, and they'll soothe the stomach if it's sour stomach.

You should be honest. I was before, during and am still being treated for anxiety disorder with panic and depression. I'm on 3 medications. My therapist knows this and it went in my evaluation. They're not looking for perfection, but for honesty and to get to know you. They just need to know if you understand that this doesn't fix the issues. They want to know why you over eat, and if you will need to continue therapy to deal with the drastic way your life changes when the weight comes off. I'm still in therapy with the therapist that did my baritriac evalutation because I can talk to her about how scary the sudden attention is, and when I feel like I don't fit in my new body. I think they're mainly looking for you not having a history of an eating disorder, that you're of sound mind to make this decision about surgery (as opposed to being in a manic state and doing it on impulse) and to make sure that any psychological problems aren't so serious that fully understand what you're going to do be doing to your body and that you won't regret it. Also, if you'll be complaint post op, otherwise why do it. They're not trying to trick you. It's pretty straight forward. The questionaire is long, boring and repeditive! Good luck!

I know all about the weight rollercoaster. It's emotional and no matter how much you run from it, that damn weight always seems to find you. Good thing is, with the sleeve, you now have a fair fight against it! I wish you luck in your continuing battle to fight it and keep it off!

I was really close to not being able to get my surgery because my BMI was 40, and you have to be 40 or over to qualify, so I could only lose 20 lbs. But, I had to lose something to prove to the insurance that I could lose or maintain my weight. I ended up losing 20 pounds before by my surgery day. I do know there were a few people who had to lose weight before he would do it though.

You look amazing! Any suggestions for flabby arms? I've started doing resistance bands and weights, but just wondering if there's anything else I should be doing/trying.

That's awesome! Keep up the good work!!!!

SN....................Startiing WT........................Current.........................Goal..........................lbs to go Shanny..................205..................................196.................................180..........................16