Krystal

I have lost another 6 pounds..ive been doing really well...not overdoing it at all. Seems like everytime i get on lapband site it is lagging and takes forever for me to go from page to page....i just checked in today and its ten times better....so i will come back and start typin more! I miss all of you! How is everyone doing?

ok so i went today and got a fill......im at 7.4ccs lets see what it does....

Ok so im here I have been just really busy this weekend and I am going to be busy all week. I have tried to fill my days up with things to do.... I am going tomorrow to get a fill AGAIN....its once a month. I am going to ask the Dr for all my fill reports so i can keep track. It seems I still have NO restriction. My husband is going with the Dr tomorrow to tell him he needs to seriously add a lil more so i can get a decent fill. I live 5 min from the Dr so if its too much he can take some out. Im frustruated really! The way it looks to me, my Dr is doing the same thing to another patient and we have been going to the Dr at the same time......she brought up the fact that she thinks he is filling us too little because everytime we come back we have to fork out more and more money.... UGH I dont want to do too much to cause a problem...but come on! OK enough venting for tonight...... ill talk to you all soon.....Good Night!

Thank you!!! That page is a work in progress. Its just a for fun thing. I plan on journaling my weightloss in the blog section soon. I just need to get a little more organized over here.

So I was thinking about my statement about how hard it is to lose weight. I was thinking more on it and it occurred to me that BEING FAT IS HARDER than ANYTHING Can you fit in a bathroom stall with no problems? Wipe much?(for you bigger girls...you know what i mean) Can you fit at a booth comfortably? I cant. Can you buy clothes at ANY store in the mall? I cant. Can you take an entire day outing and ENJOY it? I cant. I can be out on my feet for like 3-4 hours and im DONE....ready to pass out. Does the thought of 95 degree weather totally freak you out? It does me! Does your kids beg you to do things that are physically impossible for a big person my size? Mine does. Now that I look into this...being fat is JUST as hard as losing weight. We just train our minds to except it. Well im done with that. Im not excepting it anymore!!!

So I was thinking about my statement about how hard it is to lose weight. I was thinking more on it and it occurred to me that BEING FAT IS HARDER than ANYTHING Can you fit in a bathroom stall with no problems? Wipe much?(for you bigger girls...you know what i mean) Can you fit at a booth comfortably? I cant. Can you buy clothes at ANY store in the mall? I cant. Can you take an entire day outing and ENJOY it? I cant. I can be out on my feet for like 3-4 hours and im DONE....ready to pass out. Does the thought of 95 degree weather totally freak you out? It does me! Does your kids beg you to do things that are physically impossible for a big person my size? Mine does. Now that I look into this...being fat is JUST as hard as losing weight. We just train our minds to except it. Well im done with that. Im not excepting it anymore!!!

Im here today!!! Gosh...do you ever have the feeling about exercise when you say to yourself... I JUST DONT WANT TO!!!! and then you dont... Thats what i been doing and i need to kick that habbit....this weightloss thing is soooo hard....

:(Im here, I have been kind of in hiding for the past 3 weeks. We have been really busy as a family and my husband went out of town for a week. Well while he was out of town for a week i ended up playing the "single mom" role and fell off of the exercise wagon for a bit. I realized how quick, if you give up for a day,....how a day turns into a week, and a week turns into weeks. It's kind of interesting how last night I was watching an episode called BIG MEDICINE on TLC. I realized what I originally started this post for.....so I would have strength to keep going. It seems not posting ONE day has started the ever famous trickle effect. I was crying last night, and called my husband while he was at work and ask him why he was so "lax" about everything. I mean for 3 weeks he was bustin my butt and on my tail about working out and eating good....and it was working. But all of the sudden it was like i was back to the old. :faint:About a week ago I told him on the phone i was craving some chips and dip. So he says "want me to pick some up on the way home" and i didnt turn it down. Why? He made it seem like it was ok....i knew it wasnt. But he wasnt there to tell me it wasnt. He enables me and i dont think he even realizes it. He is my rock and I am not sure how I wouldnt get through any of this without him. His strength in this is a BIG DEAL. I told him he needs to buckle down on me again and that i dont want to be like this forever. I asked him how much does he love me? He says "more than you'll ever know" I told him back.....well...."give me some tough love":help: I truly am lucky to have a husband. Someone who is there for me. I could be in a worse possition. It's crazy how I received a message this morning from this post when i was struggling last night with this situation. Every day i recover from a struggle i become a little bit stronger. I think I needed a RE-evaluation of why im still here and why God has put me here with a beautiful family. He has given me EVERYTHING I could ever want EXCEPT the body I want. That he is making me work for. And it isnt going to be easy. I think I am seeing and noticing how i allow myself to give up because giving up is easier. I am throwing a birthday party for my daughter in 30 days. Its a POOL PARTY.......I actually had to ask family members to make sure they rbought a swimsuit so they could be in the pool with chloe. (im not getting in that pool in front of ALL the family) It's pretty sad that something so simple is now so drawn out in my head. Next year I am going to throw her a pool party AND IM going to be the one swimmin with her!:clap2: NO ONE ever said this was going to be easy, but before surgery I think I THOUGHT it was going to be some kind of easy fix! Im going to watch my calories again and Im NOT going to have any more JUNK in this house. I think a lot of my problem is that I dont have full restriction yet. I have another Dr's appt June 5th. Hopefully i can get to a "sweet" spot soon.... Ok im off of here for now....but I WILL BE BACK.....im going to go face my life here...... THANK YOU ALL WHO ACTUALLY CARE. IT MEANS A LOT.

I really hope you guys are right. I am faced daily with the possibility of something going wrong. Maybe being able to eat all the wrong foods today has scared me. I have been really good in the past month but eating those foods and it not doing anything scares me. I need another fill......but my Dr makes me wait 4 weeks inbetween....grrrr

I understand that....but even before this fill i wasnt THAT UNrestricted....its like he took some out, not put some in....thats why im freakin out

I had a fill in April and now a month later May 8th I had another fill. He only put a small amount in. Heres my problem.... I did the liquids thing and mushies and all that fun stuff.......today I had some Pasta...i was thinking...this will get stuck but i just eat a small amount...well it never got stuck.......so i ended eating more than i should have. Then i was giving my daughter a SOMOAS GS Cookie and I ate FIVE of them(i know i shouldnt have).......and i had NO restriction....WEIRD..... So i was thinking just now how odd it was not to have any restriction...and its making me really nervous. I thought...well im going to test myself...i did the ultimate....i ate 2 pieces of bread dry by themselves......no drinking or anything NO RESTRICTION......i have 6.8cc's in a 10cc band....and im nervous as hell.......did my band slip? what has happened... I havn't had ANY restriction since the Dr added to my band. I may not have eaton good today but thats not my problem...it was mainly tests to see if there was ANY restriction... Any ideas? What this could be?:cry

Sorry I've been really busy. This past week has been really bad because I haven't worked out. I went to my Dr. Today and had a fill. Im at 6.8cc now. Haven't lost anything more than what Ive already reported....so its back to the treadmill. I kept up with my journaling and then slowly stopped. I was doing better when I was journaling because I was actually recording my success. Ill get back on it...tomorrow i am going to start my exercise again. Im making some concious efforts to eat less cals and make smarter decisions. Hopefully all will go well. We will see. Ill be checking in tomorrow im sure. Im making my own journaling section on my webpage www.krystalballard.com and if any of you would like to comment then come check it out.

Yea unjury told me i needed like 82grams.....sheesh.....