Scotty,
I, too, am going to be a closet bandster. Only my husband and a close friend know. I even fibbed to my employer. My surgery is next month.
I feel that if people know what I am doing, they may shame me for being week and not doing it on my own. If I "could" do it on my own, I wouldn't be here.
However, if people see me losing weight, I can tell them I am doing the "small plate diet" eating mostly what I want, just controlling portions and wow..........I get no attitude from them.
As far as my family, I feel that they will always worry and some of my family members, parents mostly, just don't need the stress and I don't need the grief.
Good luck to you and may God Bless,
TB