uniqueone

Ask me how jealous I am about your vacation.......

I'm glad I read this post! I had a hernia that was repaired during my surgery and I felt like such a wimp afterwards because I did not feel good at all; no way could I have gone to a job for days!! It makes sense that one's recovery would be longer and more painful but it's the first I have heard of it!!

I think you might be feelin' some restriction there, girl. How do you feel today? Your portions you spoke of seem to be just about right for proper restriction. :clap2::clap2::clap2: Speaking of liquids, that's another thing I need to do is make sure I drink enough fluids daily...

No, I don't work at the Humane Society. I'm just a very good customer. I love those people there. I can't go back to the cages..period..so employees there go back and pick out animals for me so I don't have to. I adopt old, big dogs that no one wants. Right now I have four. I have a little bitty thing too who was swimming, because she was afraid, in Paradise Pond in the wintertime!! Thank goodness I happened to be there. That was several years ago. That's a blessing in disguise re: the fried foods, huh? It would be for me. I love them way too much. I CANNOT eat any kind of bread! It was one of my weaknesses so it's just as well. I did not feel hardly any restriction until my last fill a few weeks ago which put me at 2.8. (I was banded in May) I would still like another one when I go in next time. Before this last fill, I yo yo'd up and down..up and down with about 5-8 pounds. It was frustrating!!! However, I did not gain a bunch of weight like I would have before the band. You at least are eating the right foods. I did not all the time when I felt no restriction AND my portions were way too large. I'm feeling good now though about this last fill and will feel even better with this next one. I will keep our fingers crossed for both of us!

it's all right to be off topic, kiddo. it's great we can talk about this stuff, i think. now...i have one more bone to pick with you..(don't you LOVE me being your mother #2??) are you really seeing someone new? is that a good idea? well, you can answer me later, 'cause I'm going to bed!!! ...but don't forget to!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, you're honest at least re: your smoking. WABB, if she has cut down a bunch, will it affect the baby? I wish you wouldn't feel ashamed, Jodie. Have you gotten specific counseling regarding the sexual assault? Because you need it, Kid. See..I have lived in a middle-sized town so long I forget what it's like to live in a real small one though I was raised in one. All I can tell you is secrets like this are no good for you. I understand why you're not telling but keeping them is unfun when it's something as important as this. There's a reason you're not telling your mother. What is it?

You aren't smoking while carrying that baby, are you? See I'm telling you to do as I say not as I do!!!!!

Well, thanks, Jodie. I knew a woman who killed herself trying to light a cig while going around a bit of the freeway we call the spaghetti bowl. Talk about sad. What a piss poor way and reason to go. I have to admit..I do smoke though..see that's right up there with me being defensive..I have to work on both of those things!!!

Point taken. I know what you mean about the relationships with LE. I had it for thirty years and still do with some and it defies description. I miss that, believe me but it was time to go. I would be losing money staying..if that makes sense...because of my retirement. Now I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I think I know where you're coming from on the rape stats (these go to the FBI) and I can see how a small town's stats would/could be skewed big time. I know what you mean re: minorities also. I have often said that there's a whole big bunch of cops who have no business being in that profession.

Sorry, I had to leave real quick. Now I'll respond: You're absolutely right. I would definitely have to walk in the victim's shoes to get the whole perspective. I can only speak from my perspective obviously and I should have taken that into consideration before posting. There are some real winner situations on the other side of the spectrum that I have encountered and witnessed over the years that makes me biased to say the least!!!!! And...of course, there's the fact that my husband and son-in-law are both cops and good ones...so yes, I admit I'm biased. I just get kind of defensive (I probably shouldn't but it's in my nature..!!..it's something I'm constantly working on!!!) when the cops are all lumped together and believe me, at times, they do get an unfair rap...just like any other occupation, there's the good ones and the bad ones!!

I would never ask you to back down. Your opinion is just as important as mine.

Oh, I didn't now it was coming up in court. Civil or criminal?

Ah, see though...you're lumping them altogether. Remember one must always keep an open mind. That's how we grow intellectually and emotionally. I know plenty...in fact the majority (including my husband)... have never done any of the above. Like anything else, we only hear about the bad ones...too bad, huh?

And, see, these are situations where you could have taken the bull by the horn, so to speak. You should have complained to the applicable internal affairs unit. If you got nowhere there, you should have gone to the chief of police, then the city manager and then the mayor and if all those venues failed you then, given the severity of what they did to you or what they didn't do for you, these would have made juicy stories for the news media. Never again, endure that kind of treatment now that you know what to action to take. I can tell you from our police department, people only got as far as internal affairs before something was done about the bad behavior. Further, law enforcement is so cognizant and wary of lawsuits (you probably already know that though given your education) in this time in our lives, that you could have or maybe still could get a huge sum of money because of their blatant neglect!

Well, you certainly have had more than your fair share of negative experiences with the police. No doubt about that. But see....I worked in law enforcement for thirty years and most of the time this is not true. It's unfortunate you have no faith in law enforcement since you're going to be an attorney someday. It could be a real plus for you whether you're a defense or prosecuting attorney if you developed a good relationship with them. No matter what side you're on, they can be of immense help to you in putting your cases together.

This is sort of like the human kindness subject. In fact, it's a part of it. If you can't figure out why it's inappropriate and hurtful to call someone the "n" word, then I can't begin to explain it to you. This is something that should have been taught to you from the cradle on up. Obviously it wasn't or you didn't heed your parents' direction, whatever...at any rate, you don't seem to see the harm in it so you're not going to ever understand where we're coming from on this topic.

I am getting old. Refresh my memory ...what things happen? If you're saying illegall things happen, of course, they do. That's why we have law enforcement...

Well, you're the one who said you were cold and heartless. I'm just going by what you say; it's not my conclusion of you. Like you said, we don't know each other. Again, if you don't know why human kindness is important, I can't begin to explain it to you. This is something one usually learns from birth on. If you didn't, it's near impossible for you to get it. Not all people who you don't know want to judge you. In fact, I would venture to say, most don't care. I guess I'm thinking you're insecure not only because of your posts here but your relationship with the baby's father. If he was abusing you the way you say he was, if you thought as much about yourself as you say you do, you would have hightailed it out of there the first time he forced you to have unprotected sex. There's no way you can have good self-esteem and endure what you did in that relationship. From your own words, it was an absolute horror story; no matter how you want to justify staying, you had complete control over your actions and you CHOSE not to leave. Because if you held yourself in high regard, nothing would have kept you there. Nothing. See..you're not a victim in this situation. You are an accomplice since you didn't do anything about it. It's just as much your fault as it is his if you want to place blame.

oh, good lord. if someone is FORCING you to be an intern against your will, which is an outlandish idea, (i.e. holding you somewhere you don't want to be) have 'em arrested because this is not what an internship is. again, we're talking free choice here. no matter how you want to word it, your analogy totally lacks credence.

You are putting words in my mouth. Of course, you need to focus on yourself. I never said you should try to do what others think you should and/or try to please them. I'm talking being cruel to someone. Remember the subject of this thread? If you don't know why you should consider other people's feelings, whether you know them or not, by this juncture in your life, I certainly can't get that across to you in a message on a lap band board. Your way of thinking has nothing to do with self-confidence. It's insecurity to the max. P.S. I don't remember saying you should go up and hug strangers.........

Oh, I thought you said specific families of slaves had been reimbursed. No, I beg to differ about the internship. You absolutely do not have to do the internship unless you choose a specific career. Yes, then you have to go through the proper training to obtain your goal. This is hardly the same thing as being a slave with no rights. To answer your question re: the pencil, no, it would not be considered racism, and, I would venture to say, it would not be considered out of line by a black person either.

Well, let me tell you, if you don't care about people it's going to be a real, real long and unfulfilling life for you. It's really irrelevant why you are cold and heartless. You owe it to your baby and yourself to make an effort not to be. You might try counselling..whatever it takes to turn you around because thinking like a victim is completely self destructive plus it will negatively affect your child emotionally.

Now, Jodi, I think you know why asking someone to pick up a pencil that you dropped is not the same as calling he or she the n word. I think you've got enough on the ball to figure that one out yourself. Yes, I know there are written accounts that all slaves were not beaten. Either way, they were OWNED by another human being(s). There are many differences in doing an internship and working as a slave in the Old South. I would think the differences are so obvious I wouldn't even have to tell you them. First of all, when one does an internship in this day and age, they have FREE CHOICE to come and go as they please. They don't HAVE to do it. Secondly, there is a means to an end when you do the internship. Give me specifics, please, where families of slaves were compensated by the U.S. government. I'm unaware of funds appropriated for that one reason ever. I'm not saying they didn't. Just enlighten me, because it's been a long, long time since I've taken a history class.

Of course, I don't want you to become involved in physical violence. It might be a good idea to work on that "cold and heartless" problem immediately though because your baby, even if you don't treat he or she that way, will observe you behaving that way with others and believe me, they do not do as we say, they do as we do...and they don't miss a thing! Also, you realize you won't be able to do what you want when you want to once the baby comes along and you will be doing lots and lots of stuff involving the child that you don't want to do for the rest of your life!!

Okay, here's the deal. We have no idea how it feels to be black and be called that name. However, we know it really bothers most blacks so it doesn't matter why really...out of courtesy, we should completely exclude that word from our vocabulary. Pure and simple. It doesn't really go beyond that. Even if you don't feel the word is an awful one, you still shouldn't use it because others do feel that way. It's human kindness.