Globetrotter

Denise, watching the progression of events that have happened to you has only reenforced for me the belief that we MUST be vociferous, even belligerent, advocates for our own health. You knew instinctively that things weren't right, immediately after the surgery, but those doctors bullied you...and now look! I worry about how many various meds they will have you on, Big Pharma's hold on American medicine is disgusting, and they will happily prescribe you into the grave, and then pretend to be confused by anything negative that happened to you... Well, at this point there is no getting around the need for antibiotics, I will admit that, but if there are any alternatives to the other things - the pain meds, the nausea meds, the this meds and the that meds, try for alternatives where possible. Also, see if the hospital has an advocate you can meet with, or a therapist - I have nearly drowned in the lake of miserable events, I know how quickly the light of positivity can be snuffed out. Take care Denise, fight for your rights!

We probably don't get flexisec in the States :/ Update: yes we do!! http://www.amazon.com/Flexiseq-Gel-50g/dp/B00ECZBXHS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423846719&sr=8-1&keywords=flexiseq

textile art is wonderful, do you have any family quilts?

Sheryl - have you considered low impact fitness instead of this stuff that keeps tearing you up? I think every last one of us needs to be in therapy. Hell, I think every human on the planet needs therapy, at least, every human who lives in a sad disconnected digitized isolating western culture of punishment :/

Denise, have you heard of manuka honey? It works wonders with infections. I worry about you falling down the rabbit hole of what passes for health "care" in the US...

This is no doubt an unhealthy mindframe, but... I can't shake the suspicion that any female who is normal/average or smaller, and has never had a genuine obesity problem, like to keep "us" "in our place" and they fear us getting "above our station" ie, Getting Thin. They will make all sorts of claims and false pretenses of concern, even false admiration, just to keep us from achieving equal or higher status. I'm aware that this is toxic thinking and an echo of my painful emotions during my lost decade of obesity but, there it is.

I have a sore throat, exhaustion, chills, itchy throat, runny nose, painful sinuses, lack of appetite, but I have to be at work because I only earn 3 sick days per year.

Obviously it is a symptom CGJane, but at this point, like I said, it has become a vicious cycle and it is now both a symptom and a cause. and oh yeah by the way, I HAVEN'T BEEN PAID YET. My first paycheck and I haven't received it yet - was supposed to get it Friday. AND, someone stole my effing lunch today. Because yeah, steal the GD LUNCH from the only girl who hasn't been GD PAID yet, and who is on a GD DIET. the lunch was finely diced veggies with about 4 oz chicken, garlic olive oil and a splash of balsamic vinegar. @##%**%$@#!#*&&&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to just punch myself in my big flabby gut, I want to pinch my big fat cheeks until I leave marks, I effing hate it so much. The guy I am seeing right now, my FWB, says the most adoring beautiful things about my body, about how it makes him feel, in praise of it, and I believe him when I am with him. But when I am alone, or when I stare at my drawer full of beautiful expensive high-end label garments that I can't even begin to get into, I effing hate myself. I just got off the phone with a stupid person at a local bariatrics office (could barely string a damn sentence together I wanted to throttle her) who said that the endoscopic suturing wasn't often covered by ins and would be around 19K. That's more than my VSG was and I was done at the most luxurious place in San Francisco! I have ballooned from a 34DD to a 36J. I am wearing a size 16 jeans and I have to maneuver my gut into them, walking briskly up the hill to my bus stop leaves me panting. Old feelings of unworthiness, shame, depression, etc. are washing over me again, and old behaviors of anxiety coping are coming back - shallow breathing, hampster-on-a-wheel thinking, comfort eating, skin picking. And my apartment has gone from filthy to "obviously there is a mental health problem here", sink overflowing with dishes, surfaces covered in muck, clean laundry just piled in a chair, drawers left pulled open, and dust and crumbs covering every surface. I'm ignoring my life because I feel out of control of my life, so I'm creating a vicious cycle. How difficult is it to get a prescription for Zanax?

I'm staring at a solid 50 lbs of regain and I effing hate myself for it. I have put in requests for information at 2 seperate Bariatrics clinics here, to look into the transoral suturing.

Denise, the last time I lost 30 lbs I was on Gabapentin but every person is different so ... None of my clothes fit, I am so effing miserable, I feel so ugly. I feel too fat and ugly to participate in the very things that would make me feel better (yoga, tango, running, weights) I just feel like a monster, like a giant sea monster, flailing on land while onlookers stare and don't help....

Nope, they don't.

My left eyelid hasn't stopped twitching in weeks. This morning at 4am I was awakened by what can only be described as an actual pain in the ass - it was bad enough that I went online and researched, I came up with levator ani syndrome which, of course, is brought on primarily by stress. sigh. I just want to starve myself, yet I keep effing eating. I am so EFFING SICK OF ALWAYS BEING THE FATTEST EFFING PERSON IN THE ROOM. and now I have to deal with the fact that now I am the OLD AND FAT one, it being a tech company it is composed of mostly tiny asian children. (if you aren't old enough to buy a scotch, you are a child).

I was already in the Peace Corps, and I am excluded from ever doing it again, due to my recent overseas work.

I work at Amazon HQ in Seattle and it is mentally exhausting. My anxiety is rising rapidly, which means that my desire to self-medicate with food is also ratcheting upward. I already effed up this morning and ate a pain au chocolate - this also happens when I am not able to take my daily antacid - does anyone else notice a need for carbs to assuage the burning? I effing HATE being fat again, my psychology is really suffering, my sense of worth, all of it. Yet, in my depression I don't do anything to make myself feel better except to eat, and I HATE the eating .... v_v And this job is impressive, or at least working for this company is impressive, but I'm not saving lives, I'm not fighting the good fight, I'm not making a difference and I want to be back in the field, I want to be in the refugee camps, I want to be hiding from the enemy with a knife in my hand. It's complex.

I work at Amazon HQ in Seattle and it is mentally exhausting. My anxiety is rising rapidly, which means that my desire to self-medicate with food is also ratcheting upward. I already effed up this morning and ate a pain au chocolate - this also happens when I am not able to take my daily antacid - does anyone else notice a need for carbs to assuage the burning? I effing HATE being fat again, my psychology is really suffering, my sense of worth, all of it. Yet, in my depression I don't do anything to make myself feel better except to eat, and I HATE the eating .... v_v And this job is impressive, or at least working for this company is impressive, but I'm not saving lives, I'm not fighting the good fight, I'm not making a difference and I want to be back in the field, I want to be in the refugee camps, I want to be hiding from the enemy with a knife in my hand. It's complex.

I've never heard of instant pot but yes, AMAZON is the handiest, most reliable go-to <3 .

I took the test and came up almost equal across the three categories, percentage wise.

CGJane - Yes, 20 lbs with the nasal tube but unfortunately I cannot continue with it; I am simply too delicate internally, my nasal passages, my esophagus, couldn't handle the trauma. So, that 's 20 pounds off which is great, but I am still 50 lbs over my target weight, the target weight that I never got to, even though I got to surgeon's (prior to regain). I always want to eat, I eat to soothe anxiety, even anxiety about becoming anxious. Like an alcoholic, I don't need a reason to want to eat. v_v I am most likely the third category of Cathy's test, wherein I require physical restriction that makes me incapable of overeating.

Infuriating - I wrote a lovely bit on my Iphone and it just ... went away. grrr! Love to you Coops, I feel for you and I hope that you are taking the time to love yourself. Have any of you heard of transoral outlet reduction? I think I may do this, if my insurance covers it... http://bariatrictimes.epubxp.com/i/203202/6 My company throws a huge start-of-the-year bash, it was this weekend and my favorite band from high school played - WEEZER!! It was amazing, it was cathartic, my innner teenager could finally rest in peace, I finally got to be *that* girl - pretty at a concert with all the cool kids with a cute boy! I was filled with joy in a way I haven't been since before my Father died. Oh and Denice - what the eff, get yourself to a wound specialist NOW.

Haven't we always known that, about protein density/satiety/fullness? I've known that from the start, even back in the mushies stage, 2 bites of soft scrambled egg had me thanksgiving but I could drink 4 oz of shake before feeling that way. I ate cold boiled shrimp for lunch today, four normal sized shrimps was enough to make me feel FULL, for a long time, if I had had my scale with me that would probably have been about 2.75 oz. I also had about a tsp worth of cocktail sauce I made - olive oil mayo, sriracha, and lemon juice. Dinner was homemade chicken salad; about 2.75 oz of chopped chicken, mayo, dill pickle, and mustard. Breakfast was coffee with coconut sugar, a quarter cup whole milk, and a squirt of Torani chocolate coffee syrup.

I have discovered that once you get through the AWFUL detox and addiction withdrawals of a hard reset/cold turkey, our original teeny tummies come back. When I am good and eat clean I can get full after 3 or 4 normal sized bites of salad. The difficulty doesn't lie in the mechanics or logistics, but in the psychology, the head-hunger.

Hi all! My main man (and you know I mean that literally) is back from bootcamp AND my Mom is here so I am very happy Sarah, no I had no hunger, it was a rather dramatic way to reset my sleeve, taking off 30 lbs in 12 days. It is always so cool when you do a reset and rediscover how delicious whole foods are, a bite of dill pickle nearly made me swoon!

Yikes Sarah, YIKES Denise! Sarah, take it from ME, a concussion (also known as traumatic brain injury) requires total brain rest - TOTAL! That means put down the computer, books, music, any sort of stimulation at all, for 3 days! And Denise, this is the nightmare everyone dreads, make sure they take care of you, advocate for yourself! I stopped the ng tube diet, it was working gangbusters but my internal passageways are much too petite and the pain was too much.

I go for electrolysis, not laser, electrolysis is the only way to permanently remove hair. HOWEVER, if the hair is being given strength and stamina because of a hormone imbalance the problem will never really go away until you have electrocuted your entire beard; when one follicle is dead, your hormones turn to the next available hair! I used to have to pluck my chin every other day and I still had visible roots under my fair skin, now I have an electrolysis treatment once every 3 weeks, I've been receiving treatments since Sept.