Globetrotter

I snorted over the peach comment, so true, although at least a peach is roundish, I've got shriveled gourds and my gut ... bloodhound jowels! D:

Day 11 Insanity: Today was a fit test, to gauge our progress since starting 2 weeks ago. On most things I showed a slight improvement, I stayed the same on plank jacks and actually regressed on high knee jumps lol. My weight loss has absolutely stopped, I haven't lost a pound since starting Insanity and no, my clothes aren't fitting any better either

Even on fast days I save a few calories and carbs for my evening cocoa

Sadly Plane I no longer look remotely like the gal in the picture! I don't mean to be dishonest in my photography but the gov't computer I use is restricted and I can't upload new ones. I am currrently 170 lbs and although I am *technically* within 5 lbs of the photo - I am nowhere NEAR as fit and firm as I was then (1.25 yr ago). Then I was doing crossfit, tango, running, and yoga, now I just do Insanity and after 2 wks am still a marshmallow :/ also, I know how to take a photograph and angled my body in such a way that I looked waaaaaay better then really did, even then.

Phew, it took me almost 3 hours to read the NINE pages that got posted since Thursday! I took TWO PAGES of notes because otherwise I would not have remembered a tenth of what I want to respond to! So here we go...... I woke up this morning and weighed myself, no change, rats. Then around 1:30 I went to the bathroom and uh, was so successful that I um, weighed myself again ...... I fully expected to be er *rewarded*, but I was ALMOST 3 POUNDS HEAVIER THAN WHEN I WOKE UP! Now, I have known for years that gravity, water intake, etc. always make you heavier at the end of the day but seriously ...... I love British tv, moreso than American usually. The UK version of Being Human was way better than the American, IMO. I was devoted to it, the Aidan character was killed off btw so that he could go film The Hobbit! He plays Kili, one of the dwarves. Another great show was Survivors, I think it was way better than The Walking Dead is now. Survivors really went into the changes in humanity after a calamity and WD just seems to be devolving into just special effects. Laura and SarSar - you are both straight up genuinely skinny, so yeah whatever is goin' on is goin' on upstairs *taps temple*. But you already know that, and you are both aware of the generally great state of your health so I'm not worried. Is the denim jacket up to a vote then? If so then Coops I vote no, that dress is too darling to hide under a boxy jacket, and so are you!! CGJ - You know, I grew up with my Father ordering for my Mother and myself and it never ocurred to me to be wierd or anything in fact, I accidentally did it to a guy on a date!! He had never been to the restaurant before and we were just ordering dessert and when the server came I ordered for us! I nearly snorted when you mentioned purple jeans! For a former model (Steven) I'm sure they were quite alarming! . Oh and uh, what was the first thing my pervy mind did when you called Frasier the Pipefitter?? "yeah ... Pipefitter indeed, heh heh heh!" Remember bizarro world, from Sienfeld? You have the Bizarro Frasier of Seattle - opposite of the TV Frasier in every way not a bad thing. ODenise - This Jonathan sounds a bit passive aggressive, like he might even be setting you up on purpose with the conversation lag/interrupting thing... Laura - I had already taken the notes "have daughter committed?" before I saw Feed's suggestion of the 5150. There is so much obsession these days with respecting children's rights that people forget that parents - every human really- have rights too, namely the right to not feel fear within their own home. And the Army? Perhaps it is the ticket for her, I do know plenty of soldiers who admit readily that the Army saved their lives. But one thing you must be able to muster on your own is self control, the Army has ZERO TOLERANCE for a person who cannot control themselves. I haven't gone to Germany yet, I don't know if that is even a possibility but if it is, it won't happen till February. Speaking of the job, there is a possibility that I may get a 6 month extension. I am conflicted, for obvoious reasons. I should go Stateside, I know that, but the money! The money .... Somebody mentioned something about how Former Fats often seem to think that we will finish losing and be able to walk away from It - weight care, monitoring, etc. And that many Never Fats know that this is not the case. It stuck with me because it reminded me of my Father, when he was getting ready to leave rehab (alcohol). That is exactly how he talked, like all of this was some nonsense that was behind him now and not worth a second thought. Less than 4 months later he was gone. I filled my hole with food, he papered over his pain with drugs and alcohol. Christmas this year is so many things, so much pain to relive, so much sorrow, since it was Christmas last year that was the catalyst for his death. I feel so much responsibility, so much sorrow, for the stupidity I displayed. I tried to bully him into better behavior, not knowing it was too late for tough love, too late ..... January 9th will be one year, and only recently have I for the first time felt anger. I've just felt sad this whole time, my Mom went to the anger right away and has stayed there, only now starting to move away from it. *deep breath* As for Seattle - Having a job before I get there would be awesome, I don't relish trying to find a job "last minute". I am looking on CL for a place to live, I wanted to live alone but it looks like my best bet will be a houseshare. I want to live within walking distance of yoga, coffee, and either a farmer's market or co-op. I have an awesome bike and would like to operate as carless as possible if possible. The school I want is Antioch, but it is private and I don't know if they will fully fund a doctorate, whereas State schools do so, so I may need to look at UDub as well. You know, technically I am the same weight now that I was in my profile pic, but I KNOW I am nowhere near as firm and strong as I was then, I was doing crossfit 3x a week, plus yoga 2x a week and tango 1x a week, plus running with a friend outdoors. Now, I do Insanity 5 days a week and after 2 weeks I am still a marshmallow. AND WHY AM I NOT LOSING ANY WEIGHT, MUTHREFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Brown - so glad you are not giving up, please show kindness and nurturing to yourself, the same you show to us. Phew, okay, I think I got about all of it, if I missed something/someone sorry, I'll take better notes next time! PS - knew I'd forget something! I wanted to comment on what a huge difference arms make - my profile pic I look so fit because I purposely angled my arm in such a way that it looks normal sized. when I take a selfie now, and use one hand to hold back all the upper arm pudge, it completely and radically changes the look of my entire body. I go from looking like a pudgy middle aged soccer Mom to a fit woman. Okay, NOW I'm done!

@ Susie - on fast days I drink a lot of hot tea, mostly green tea but some black and spiced chai, with a little milk and stevia. Something about these combinations curbs my interest in food. My biggest meal is around 6pm, with a snack right before bed.

End of week 2, Insanity: I am able to do more of the exercises, for more time, and am sweating more. Monday begins week 3, before I started, and every wknd since, I take a photo of myself from behind and from the side, in the same outfit, to chart changes. I can definitely see changes to the shape of my butt and thighs, but sadly my upper arms, waist, and lower gut appear unchanged. I am well on my way to my December fitness goal as far as # of times I do Insanity, but sadly in 2 weeks I have only managed to lose a pound which is effing ridiculous.

Well eff - if surgery lowered our metabolisms, then that just snuffs out hope! I mean, that would explain why, at a mere 650 cals, I am not losing any weight even though I Insanity 5x a week!

Coops, love the frock! I think you need a spash of color though, and a break up in the length of the black - might I suggest a brightly colored sash, worn just slightly higher than your waist? And maybe I'm obsessed, but booties a la CGJane, would be terrif! Day 9 Insanity - am dragging, so exhausted. also, haven't lost weight in a week, I'm so interested in seeing the scale move I'm considering stopping Insanity. I guess nobody had any suggestions regarding work/live for Seattle/Portland? I am on board with closing the group.

Shoot, LV, don't stop yourself from talking to the newbies in the waiting room, show them the success, give them hope, get them excited! As for Iron, can you incorporate more iron rich foods in your diet, like spinach etc? Also, I lol'd at your scale machinations, I happen to know *for a fact* that my boots weight 7.1 pounds, and that all of my clothes weigh a surprising 4 lbs, and any time I am weighed by a Drs office I am quick to point that out!

Jane - how many thousand difference in cost would the multiple US procedures have been, vs the Mexican cost?

Day 9 Insanity - Cardio Recovery day, which sounds deceptively soothing. Yes, we stretched a lot, but we also did slow squats that ended in holding a deep squat for a ludicrously long time and then pulsing in the squat. I cursed. a lot. And I was more jelloee after this then the regular workout! Donna450 - Did you get the lap band instead of the sleeve? I remember you from years ago. If you still have a significant amount of weight to lose, you can't expect your knees to perform beyond their capacity. I couldn't do this kind of work until I had lost 75% of my total excess weight.

yeah, awesome pic!

CGJ - after my last deployment I moved to a charming little college town (Lawrence KS) and proceeded to date in earnest. I used Plenty of Fish at first and then abandoned it for OKCupid. The more I dated, the more yoga and crossfit I did, the more confident I became. I love beauty, not macho or masculine or whatever, but beauty, like classical sculptures - as the daughter of a sculptor this is not too surprising. I went on one date with -no joke!- a model. He was GORGEOUS. And also like a rocket scientist or something mathy. After 6 months of constant OKC dating (sometimes 2 or 3 different dates in a single day!) I met the guy who became my boyfriend and even though we are now broken up - one of my best friends. The reason we are broken up? He was perfect on paper, SO freaking intelligent, wryly funny, and exquisitely beautiful. Seriously, his mouth is the stuff of Gucci campaigns, I would trace it with my fingertips, he looks like a Renaissance angel. But I learned the truism that you need more than a pretty face. The way a person looks has little to nothing to do with how they will treat you, how good in bed they will be, etc. Straight up Jane? You are wanting to have your cake and eat it too. You don't like these men who live with their former mates, yet you are doing it. And you are not really trying to find a relationship, so long as you keep Mr Silver Fox as an option. Did it feel good walking down the street with my model and have women literally whip their heads around, mouths agape? F*CK yeah it did! But that alone isn't enough if you aren't already garnering pride confidence and love from yourself. Until you make the changes, heal the hurts, love yourself more, this pattern will continue. Oh and, they don't all want the 30 year old, TRUST ME. My profile pic here is also a pic I have in my OKC album and you all know me pretty well, I'm a well rounded person, culturally, emotionally. Yet I get the same ones CGJ and OD describe. All of the guys I find in my search, that are attractive (to me) in all the ways, never respond! I can see that they have looked at my profile, and they don't respond. Why? Who knows, one reason may be that the 32 yr old catches who are still single and are finally deciding to have a family are looking at the 23 yr old girls. What can you do besides take up boxing, invest in a state of the art sex toy, and play the stock market. The morning after my binge, BTW, I was down a pound, to my pre-insanity weight. Then, this morning, after eating salad and flax and hemp yesterday, I was UP 1.6. GDMNMTHRFKRSOBPOS!!!!!!!!!!!! If anyone knows of any jobs in Seattle or Portland, I'm listening. I'm already on the Oregon.gov site and all the typical sites - LinkdIn, USAjobs.gov, etc. Brown - PM me with your address okay?

Day 8 Insanity: 8 days and this is the first day that sweat has poured off of me, a good sign? But I am so tired as I type this my arms are quivering. Also did 3 planks at about 25s each. I am so tired that if there was an alternate way of breathing, I would do it.

I'd be more concerned with what else is in there - the preservatives, the unnecessary soy or wheat filler, etc. You'd be better off making a high Protein casserol once a week and freezing it in serving size bags.

wow, I'm just startled is all, it seems like such invasive surgery to be sent home the same day ... Pcakes - how did you document the skin issues? I have many issues that would be solved with plastics.

You do us proud Jane, you have fought for your success and are reaping the rewards! Picspicspics!!

How on earth can they have excellent reputations or be considered the best, if they send their patients home same day?!! Pammycakes - did insurance cover the plastics?

figuring out how to get myself to Germany, easier said than done but it is (as they say in the Army) my one meter target. I have some lines out, to find housing, a job, etc. The school in Seattle is Antioch and I found a great place to live BUT it is 30 min away from downtown. I am old enough that I really don't want a roommate, plus I would like to get a companion animal/therapy dog. The quote I have lived by since I was 21 is, "First, say to yourself what you would be, then, do what you have to do" -Epictetus. The other school I want is just outside Portland OR, in Forest Grove. I was incredibly down yesterday, seeing the therapist depresses me, and I didn't just fall off the cliff of food, I took a running leap - a bag of popcorn, the chocolate shell to an ice cream bar, a chocolate chip cookie, and half a corn dog. Total damage for the day - over 1300cals v_v. No wonder I am fatigued to the bone today. My forgetfulness is the most terrifying thing... I left my shower kit in the showers yesterday and didn't think twice about it, until today after insanity when I couldnt find it. Luckily it was in the showers, but somebody had stolen my very precious face wash. This sort of thing is not normal for me, and this is just one example, it is happening a lot and it is terrifying. I am focused on my health, what I eat, I guess I will have to look myself in the eye and have a little talk, and then square my shoulders and apply for SSDI, go to Germany, tell my Mother, set a course for taking the prereq classes, and find a job. I love all of you.

Day 7 Insanity - I am definitely capable of doing more than on day 1, but it is still brutal! I am recovering more quickly though, walking away from the gym halfway to my hut, there is a short bit of stairs - the first few days I had to use the handrail because I thought I would fall down the stairs I was so jello and now I don't need it.

To all - I am a federal civilian so my "company" is the federal government. I am also a term employee in a job that only exists outside the US so they are not required to take care of me as far as disability or finding me a job etc etc. The disability I would try for is the federal SSDI and I have been to websites specializing in MS and disability. I know that you can work and earn money while on dis., but only to about 1500 a month. I want to go back to school (doctoral) and I don't know how I would pay for it, I just can't bring myself to do loans again... The program I want is in Seattle, so I need to find a place to live there but the rent is almost as bad as San Francisco! I need to have a Dr confirm my dx while I am employed, so that is why I should go to Germany again. Right? But if I do that now, I will be sent home and lose the last few months of pay, since we are only here for a few more months. Dr Wahl's protocol asks for 9 cups of veggies a day, obviously a difficulty for a sleever. Oh and I need to buy a car but cannot stomach the prices... I went to the federal SSDI page to begin the process, but couldn't bring myself to do it because, it would mean admitting that this is affecting me, that I am being disabled by this, and that is so very upsetting...

Day 6 Insanity - can see ever so subtle changes in the shape of my legs, my waist. Probably wishful thinking. pulled something, a glute or hammy or psoaz, all I know is I broke my ass, couldn't do plank sprints today, and am slathered in tiger balm right now, sitting on a heat pack. @Butter - My thyroid is fine, just had it checked. I had expected for it to be dead and was actually a bit disappointed to hear that it is normal.

@ Coops - frankly I think you showed remarkable self control by not slapping the crap out of that silly cow! @ Brown - I am right there with you, I eat an average of 650 calories a day, if you average out eating and fasting days, AND I'm doing Insanity and I am not losing. It's just not effing fair. And I've done all the things people do, I've upped the cals, lowered the cals, etc etc etc etc. That's what brought me to 5:2. I'm a sleever and here I am, dieting again. And if I lose weight via dieting, how will I keep it off? Scared right now, may get medivacd to Germany again, or just sent home. I feel helpless in the face of figuring out disability, and my left foot has been cold and numb. I'm so sick of being fat. I take weekly pictures of myself in the same clothes to chart the changes from Insanity and I still look Just Plain Fat. PS - I ordered some clothes made at the bazaar, I gave smaller measurements than I currently am, to keep me honest and working hard!

SHOCK COLLAR! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA*gasp for breath*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!