Globetrotter

I am SO afraid of Barrett's esophagus! What can be done for it? It is extra concerning to me now as the acid may be playing a role in my metabolic reactions which in turn effects my MS. The Swank diet sounds like pure torture but the alternative is disability. if I look at a burger and think, "Mmmm, tastes like wheelchair..." that puts things in a different light.

Sleeve Plication solved the acid issue, but good luck finding anyone who will do one on you, or getting insurance to cover it! My acid is awful, I cannot ever miss a dose of prevacid. Going to see an endocrinologist to see if something else is going on that would explain my slow/nonexistent weight loss. Saw my neuro this morning, got blood drawn to check levels of B, D, and a full thyroid panel, she also got me a referral for PT. So, all good things. I'm disappointed that my photos from my big Italy trip are going to show a fat woman Am receiving some pretty contrary information regarding diet and MS, it is accepted fact that MS is not just an autoimmune disorder but probably a metabolic disorder. There are two major diets and a bunch of anecdotal ones. The two significant diets, that have been researched and put into effect by Doctors and scientific method and academic rigor, are the Wahls Protocol and the Swank diet. BUT, here's the problem - The Wahls diet advocates for the nutrition found in clean animal products (no grain, no GMO, organic, no hormones, etc etc), Dr Wahls is a huge proponent of bone broth, organ meats, raw milk, no grains, lots of good fats. Whereas the Swank diet says exactly the OPPOSITE! No red meat, lots of grains, no animal fats OR coconut oil. The Swank diet is basically like those vampires from the Twilight books, it may keep you alive, but you'll never really enjoy a meal again. You can only have white fish, olive or flaxseed oil, a couple of nut varieties, most veggies and a little fruit. Oh and tons of grain. wtf.... Well, I personally can't have grains because they make me feel awful, so that means that I would have to have a piece of broiled whitefish with olive oil, some roasted veggies also in olive oil, a small apple and that's it. Now, that sounds perfectly delicious, but not for every meal, every day, forEVER. No chocolate, no coconut milk or coconut ANYTHING, no red meat (including pork and all sausages), no other fats like avocadoes or cashews.... this sux. And I am quite emotional about beginning my treatment, with the disease modifying drug. There are no support networks for MS patients who start DMD, like there are for cancer patients who start chemo.

I don't think I will up the gabapentin, and although I will up the venlefaxine, I am worried about becoming further anorgasmic. The reality of starting MS drugs has had me hiding in bed and not eating.

Yes, heaven forbid we become addicted to experiencing a situation with a normal and appropriate bodily response! My neuro wants to put me on copaxone, and wants me to up my dose of venlafaxine AND gabapentin. I didn't gain any weight during my vacation but neither am I losing. 3 months and 8 pounds.

Chimera, tell me more about flashing light therapy? I wonder if my head meds are making me anorgasmic, I take venlafaxine and the Dr just told me to up my dose yet again....

Positive vibes Denise! Cheryl - Pfft, I heard so much hype about Xanax that when I had a terrible anxiety attack I was excited to take it, from all the talk I expected it to you know, HELP. It did not. My body did not register that I had taken anything special, I meditated and achieved a modicum of calmness but nothing beyond what happens when I meditate and practice cognitive therapy. The Xanax did nothing to unclench the fist of my mind, nothing to steady my thumping heart or racing pulse, it might as well have been a sugar pill. Chimera, if you are willing, in a PM, to tell me the name of that medicine, I would be grateful. I believe that my anxiety is both hereditary AND experiential. Thank you for posting the article Kim, the information is fu**ing devastating and nightmarish. I saw photos from my birthday camping trip last week and I'm just so fat, so so fat.... I don't look good at ALL, I look doughy and like I never had surgery v_v I'm juicing now, a morning juice, a midday Protein Shake and an evening paleo meal. I recently crushed the marrow in my pinkie toe so can't exercise if that means bearing weight (also can't wear closed toe shoes), could take months to heal.

Kim- use salt, less toxic to other's, still super annoying to the craycray neighbor Cathy - thank you for your as always comforting words, welcome back from vacation! Cheryl - I agree with Kim, go with your gut on that guy, and wtf dude, the lady said NO, and set her boundaries, respect them! dick... Your co-worker, that is so sad, is there any information coming forth? Any "reason"? I know I "could" have a child anyway, without a partner, without giving birth, and I am a huge proponent of adoption, but unless I find independent wealth, going it alone is just financially illogical, particularly if I plan on adopting. But, all the women in my family have in one way or another, had to pursue their motherhood alone; they were all married but were either literally or metaphorically, emotionally or financially abandoned by their husbands, and that makes me so sad, I really really wanted to be the one who was different, who had a real partner in child-rearing... I went home for my birthday (16th), my Mom and I went camping in the old family camping spot, it was wonderfully soothing and I ate as I pleased; roasted marshmallows, french onion Soup, duck confit..yum! I haven't felt beautiful in such a long time, I hate my fat face, my skin has been ravaged by rosacea, and I definitely haven't felt sexual in a long time, and have developed a serious anxiety over my ability or opportunity to "O" with a partner... I guess I will just paint instead. Paint and work and pay taxes and die by centimeters.

I'm not ready! I'm not ready to be THAT, isn't it enough how much I have had taken away from me? What the f**k Life, give me a reason to stay!!

Hate to break it to you Kim and Denise, but I have done the "shock the system" thing by bumping up the calories with clean foods while keeping the carbs down - didn't do a damn thing. I'm terrified that there is a chemical reason why this is happening to me. As much as I know that anguish is anguish, and one should never ever engage in the "my pain is worse than your pain" twisted competition - None of you guys are obese. You may not be thrilled by your numbers or your fitness level, but you are not in fact obese any longer, even you Kim at your slightly higher numbers, since you are so tall. At barely 5'3" and 213.4 (as of this morning), I am obese. It breaks me heart and makes me so sad. And if this is a sign of menopause, then I am utterly crushed and heartbroken, as I still cherish the fantasy that I may have natural-born children..

10 pounds in three months is not success Kim, it just isn't - especially when I pack on THREE BLOODY POUNDS because I ate a handful of fresh raspberries and 3 TBS worth of amaranth flour!!!! Something must be wrong, it just MUST. Twenty months ago I started losing regain. Six months later I had lost it all and then some (41 lbs). All while under incredible stress, eating low quality food, and taking yes the same meds I am on now. One year after returning to the States I tried to do it again, doing the exact same things I did the previous time and have lost only 9 pounds in the amount of time that I lost 20 in the last go round. This is illogical, as I am eating clean wholesome foods, have nothing like the stress I did, have regular access to healthcare, etc etc. Therefore, there MUST be something else going on. 214.4 this morning, when it should be at most 205.

I am ready to just say F*** it, pass the Ben & Jerry's - I try and I try and I get no results, no weight loss and also no positive health gains. So why not just eat the damn grilled cheese. Obviously my efforts and concern don't make one damn tiny bit of difference...

214.4 this morning. I gained 3 pounds because I ate a half cup of amaranthseed flour and a pint of fresh raspberries.

212.4 this morning, even though I ate 500 calories yesterday and NINE grams of carbs. Spent four hours painting this morning and barely added detail to the eye, neck, and two panels of shell of a sea turtle I have been commissioned to make. Going to go see Spy this afternoon, feel the need to see a righteous fat babe kick ass. Afraid to take myself to the ER. I have severe acute numbness of my left foot, leg all the way to my buttock, also stabbing pain in both thighs. They will just want to give me a steroid drip and that does nothing good.

<p>212.6 this morning, even though I ate only 26g carbs yesterday.<br /> <br /> I had my thyroids tested a year ago, all of them, by a naturopath and MD who knows to look for the subtleties and he found nothing noteworthy.</p> <p> </p> <p>Cheryl Jane, where is a great place near Seattle to take (English) riding lessons?</p>

212.4 this morning. after a week of barely 600 cals, less than 35g carbs.... I clearly have metabolic syndrome but every single piece of information I find on the web says the way to beat metabolic syndrome is .................. clean up your diet! excercise! reduce stress! Apparently I am the only human in the whole wide world who eats like a (starving) saint and does not lose weight.

Are these scans used for pain when there is no gallbladder? I had mine out 2.5 yrs ago and I am suddenly experiencing terrible aching pains like I did before it was taken out.

holy CRAP Cheryl, your boob was twice it's implant size? This must have been much more painful then you let on... I am trying to get in to see an endocrinologist, I just can't go on this way, 10 pounds in three months ....

Cheryl I think you just described Kim's husband! Isn't he a great big beardy Scot? 212 this morning, even though I haven't had more than 600 cals every day for the last 5 days. This discomfort behind my right ribs is irritating, it isn't painful, but I can't get comfortable at night and it doesn't dissipate. Maybe a strong laxative will have an effect.... I'm working on another commission, an underwater scene of a sea turtle and little fish. Kim do you have any advice on making prints? Someone had an idea that I make some sports related pictures and sell them at collegiate games. CherylJane I thought all implants developed basically tissue bags around the implants, that encapsulate the implant, and that this is normal. No? Sounds like you basically have an internal version of a blood blister.

Enjoy yourself Coops, we will be looking forward to pics of you rockin' your bikini!!!!

I must accept that the "Prince" may not come along, I must not see myself as a passive being who requires rescuing in order to be happy. I must not hinge my personal happiness on acquiring Romantic Interest happiness. I cannot tie my worth to the romantic interest of men, in me. I had a show open on Saturday, one of the pieces was a commission but instead of taking all the money for myself, I had the patron pay the gallery instead, so that they could get a cut, the gallery is a co-op and non-profit. So it's official, I'm a "real" artist - I feel like framing the receipt 212 this morning and pain under my right rib line, I think it is constipation but why would that discomfort be that high up?

Positive vibes headed your way CherylJane! While I completely understand the "find healing within and you will find joy without" concept, it is also in a sort of way, a bit "blame the victim". It is basically saying that it is my fault that I only receive toxic lovers. I'm never going to be emotionally perfect. I am critical, and cutting, and given to bouts of bleakness. I am not tidy and am an avoider and am loyal. That last is now firmly in the lowlights category, as it has only ever brought disappointment and pain. I can be silly, and goofy, and am helpful and considerate and kind. I find beauty in almost all things. I think the word "deserve" is toxic when applied to good and bad things that happen to you in your private life. Things are the way they are, whether you understand them or not. Yet, there is a fine line between fatalism and zen acceptance. I was 211 three days ago, this morning I am 213, even though I ate no more than 600 cals every day of the weekend.

I just want to feel beautiful, feel desired, and not just in a sexual way. I want people to want to be my friend, to want to be around me, spend time with me, I want people to want to be my lover, my buddy, my friend. I want to have people in my life who want to DO things. And I am just so sad about my body. 212.2 today, after 63 days of this, only 11 pounds. Last year I lost 22 lbs in 60 days....

Update: it is now 64 days of post-op faithfulness and I am down only 11 lbs. 5'3" and 212.2 lbs

Kim, you're not getting a cortisone shot, are you? Short term gain for serious long term losses, cortisone eats away at the very connective tissue it is alleviating, eventually resulting in worse crippling and the need for replacement. 213.2 this morning, for no reason. I'm not exercising, I know that everyone in the greater sleeve community will pounce on this as the AHA! reason for my slow loss but it isn't. 7 years ago I went on a faithful diet and exercise regimen, under the care of a personal trainer and doctor. I exercised responsibly 5 days a week, three of which were with the trainer, and ate a carefully monitored and calibrated diet of 1400 calories a day. Guess what? I lost 4 pounds a month. Did that for 5 months before my sorrow overcame me. I was probably 40 pounds heavier then, than I am now. I do miss exercising, very much, but I feel so inadequate now, and like everything I do is pointless. What's the point of any of it? Why wear make up or nice clothes, I won't look good in them, I'm not getting positive attention in any way, regardless of how I present myself so, what's the point? What's the point in trying at my job, when I get shot down constantly, am second-guessed into oblivion, and have zero agency. What's the point in eating conscientiously when I see zero results in health or weight? What's the point in keeping up my hair color, I feel no better about myself due to it. What's the point in plucking my eyebrows or getting electrolysis when nobody is looking anyway? Don't worry, I'm not considering self harm, I just don't see the point to any of it, because I know too much about the world and the way it works, and have seen beyond the bullshit fairytales we get crammed down our throats.

214.6 today, for no reason. Denise, Bill has been a drain on you since you got him. Cheryl, you need to see Trainwreck, it is so good!!!!