lauri

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been on much lately. Well, I haven't been feeling very well. My left knee has been giving out on me, chest hurting/wheezing, general weak feelings, dropping things, stumbling or falling, tingling in my left arm, etc. It's been really frustrating. I went to my PCP last week and was treated for an upper res. infection, and referred to a knee doc. (appointment is on the 28th) I just assumed, as she did, that the walking problem and weakness were a result of these things. Then, Monday I woke up and couldn't turn my head to the left. Thinking that a disc has slipped out again, I called my chiro.(I was in a bad accident right before school was out and so I thought maybe it had something to do with that) He did his thing but I was still having trouble. THEN, yesterday, I got up and my neck wouldn't turn, my arm was really tingling, and I could barely walk. I went in to the Chiro and he did some electric stimulation, massage and an adjustment but, also, said that he wanted me to see a neurologist and have an MRI done. He said my symptoms are indicative of MS. "What is that I thought?" I came home and tryed to rest. I am still wobbling everywhere and have started having these spasms on my LEFT side(I look like I am having convulsions!). It's been going on all night. I took a muscle relaxer, and motrin but it just keeps getting worse. I can't even walk without help. I'm trying not to get scared but I am really starting to freak out! Has anyone ever heard of symptoms like this?

Thought I would see how many of us are from this area. When are we going to get together?

Neuro is sending me for an MRI of my lower back, and a spinal fluid pressure test(from what I understand it is kind of like an epidural but it will measure the pressure). He has, also, ordered this test that is like an MRI but it it more specific and looks at the vessels or something. I'm not sure when this is going to happen but they are going to call tomorrow with the date of the appointment. These tests won't explain the movement disorder but he is trying to get to the bottom of the migrains and the swelling in my lower back. He said that it will take a couple of weeks to get the blood tests results back that will tell if I have some kind of mutated gene or whatever. It's kind of scary but I am glad that he is doing everything in his power to help me-answers to prayers.

Hey All! I just wanted to pop in and see what is going on. I have an appointment with the neuro today. Blood work was taken to check DNA and all sorts of stuff. My last appointment wiht the neuro he increased my meds and I am doing better physically-not as much jerking and seizing. But, I am very tired and lethargic. I want so much to get on every thread and check on everyone and just visit and have a great time but sitting makes my symptoms worse. I am going to give phone number to anyone who wants it. Just PM me. I would love to talk. I hope I can meet some of you who live in this area. thank you for all of your prayers and kind thoughts. When I get really depressed, I think of all of you and feel better. love to you all

ryan, I am glad your wife is better. i will keep you both in my prayyers

Thanks everyone. I really miss visiting with all of you. I feel out of the loop! My dad is going to look into disability for me so that I can atleast keep my insurance and pay for my meds. I just want to know what is wrong and get back to normal. Thanks for all the love, prayers, and hugs.

Melissa, I'm sorry to hear that you are having port problems. Don't worry about grossing anyone here out. Have you seen Delarla's pictures-YIKES! Anyways, I can't be of any help but just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and will pray that it is nothing serious. (((Hugs)))

The meds are helping some. I have more control over my left hand but it takes a very concentrated effort to type with it. The jerking with my arm and leg are not as bad. I still don't have any answers. The chiro and orthopedist suggested MS. X-rays of my bones look good-going for an MRI to check the tendons in the AM. I will then be going to Houston to see my mothers DR who is really good and he is going to send me to a neurologist for some test where they stick needles in your legs etc and check your muscles, an eeg(whatever that is), and a spinal Fluid check. Sounds like fun doesn't it? The thing that is really irritating me is that I have gained about 4 pounds. With everyone waiting on me, I am not going to ask them to fix me something special. I just eat what they bring me. Mom did say that we were going to start eating better because she knows how hard I have tried to lose weight. It's just really hard to turn down comfort food right now. Since I cant work, I have lost my unemployment benefits and that really stinks. The kids and I are moving in with mom at Kingwood. HD is looking for a room to rent so that he can keep his job and pay the bills until we can figure out what to do. Please keep us in your prayers. By the way if anyone in the Denton area knows of an inexpensive place that Steven could check out please PM me. He works around TexasMotor Speedway. He has to be out of the house by the end of Jan. Thank you all for your love and prayers.

I am taking anti sesior(sp?) meds and anti-anxiety meds. Thank goodness we still have my grandmothers wheelchair. I havve at least been able to get around wwith some help. MRI's and blood tests haven't given any clue. When we get back from Denton we are going to go to a differesnt neurologist.

Thank you all so much for your love and prayers. I haven't felt like fighting with my parents dial up/ everytime I get on here, someones calls and kicks me off line!! they are in the computer dark ages. Physically, not much better or any news. Typings is hard cause I have limited fine motor skills with my left hand. I have a knee apoint tomorrow in Denton so we are packing up to go Little Elm. We will be coming back here in a few days. I will keep everyone posted. Thanks for being my friends-I miss you all.

I am at home with my mom in houston. The tests at the hospital all came back without any explaination of my symptoms. I have lost almost all use of my left hand, arm and leg. Mom is going to ttake me to a dr. here and see if we can get some answers.

Ok I may be spastic and sppent the last few days in th hospital but when they weighed me- drum roll please,,...,.211 What is that 8 pounds. Eating hospital food, being pumped with med. and all don't exactly make you want to eat. Now , if I can just survive my moms cooking and not being able to walk. I am going to try to get her to feed me healthy but her home cooking is so good.

Greg -you are doing a great job! Keep it up! Teresa- 2.2 is Awesome! It feels soooo good to see the scales drop after a little stand still. I'm really proud of you. Just think of the many people GAINING this time of year.

As many of you know, I keep a journal to help me stay focused on my goals. I am learning, as many of you are, to take care of myself for the first time in my life. I have managed to think of a few nice things to do for myself but I need help. (Many of the things that I can think of cost money) If you have any ideas that you are willing to share that would be awesome. * Have your nails done * Read inspiring poetry * Get a pedicure * Take a hot bath by candle light * Give yourself a facial * Buy a new item of clothing-even if you will be too small for it soon-we can always share with each other * Put something you really want but normally wouldn't buy on lay-away (Pink ostrich boots at Cavenders They will be paid for just in time for Valentines day and my birthday!) You see what I mean about the nice things I can think of costing money? Help! I need ideas!

Willpower-How do you keep from eating while you are making these wonderful foods? I'm trying to stay out of the kitchen. I don't even want to go in there to cook OR CLEAN cause I find myself staring into the fridge looking for something to eat!

Mmmmm....Jerky! I love Jerky. :lick My mother makes the best in the world. I think when I go see her next week, we should make some. The last time I was with her, we made tamales. They were good if you put alot of ketchup on them. Right now, I am going to go read on my book-Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Fay. It's an awesome book. Hopefully, reading this book and learning from it- is going to be doing something nice for me (hopefully I will to a better job teaching my children to be more helpful/less difficult) 2 boys with ADD, one teenage daughter-'nuff said AND for them. Maybe, I will learn some new ways to handle them.

Thoughts to Ponder I had amnesia once -- maybe twice. Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free? They told me I was gullible..... and I believed them. Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway. Two can live as cheaply as one .... for half as long. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. What if there were no hypothetical questions? One nice thing about egotists... they don't talk about other people. What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. Is there another word for synonym? The speed of time is one second per second. Is it possible to be totally partial? What's another word for thesaurus? Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken ?

A few years ago, my hair started thinning in the front, too. At first, I thought it was my thyroid-DH thought it was stress-Dr. said it could be heredity. At any rate, about 3 months ago, I bought a package of generic rogain for women ($18 for 3mth supply)at Wal-mart and my hair is coming back! Since your hair was falling out BEFORE the surgery, it's something to consider. Good luck to you. I understand how frustrating hair loss can be.

Teresa, I am all for sending the kids and Hubby out. Maybe he could take them to the dollar movie-better yet-I will go to the movies while they are at school! Oh yeah! No,"Mom, I need to go to the bathroom!" or "Can I have some money?" or "You always sit by mom!" Just me and a diet coke and some hunk on the big screen. Yep-that sounds good. I'll have to do that next time though cause tomorrow-I am going to the Chiropractor to get this stinking crick out of my neck! My heads all bent over like I am trying to get Water out of my ear or something! That moist heat, gentle massage, and adjustment are going to feel sooooo good! I hope he puts me on his traction table, too! It sounds strange but that thing is AWESOME! Hey-I thought of something else that is nice to do. Go to the library. Even if your not a big reader, they usually have videos and DVD's you can check out. I think I would like to watch Gone with the Wind again. I haven't seen it in about 7 years.

We have some great ideas. I am going to start the change jar-right now. Coupons, too! I have one for green tea on the box. This is fun! Keep the ideas coming. I love it! We all need to take better care of ourselves.

Terrific loss Pat!!! WTG on skipping the donut-you'll do great!

I'm thankful that I didn't GAIN! I was horrible sat. night (shared a LARGE COKE from Whataburger with hubby and accidentally ate 1/2 a thing of onion rings!) I really did it on accident. I was just sitting there visiting with my daughter and her friends and MINDLESSLY EATING!!! I was soooo mad at myself! Then, Sunday, Brit and I had a girls day out- But, strangly enough, I counted up my calories and EVEN with the brownie/ice cream, cheese bisquit and the popcorn shrimp, and the potatoe I shared with my daughter yesterday-my calories were only 1670! I really think that PORTION SIZE is the key. She and I have been sharing a plate or desert when we do go out. That AND just continually trying to make those healthy choices even if I goof up. Betty is your foot ok? How did you hurt it? Michelle, you will probably drop next week. Good luck. Melissa, you and I are neck and neck with our weight! I am guessing that you are much taller than I am though. Good luck this week! Darcy, I'm with you on the scale thing! I even put the darn thing in my closet and STILL drag it out. My husband is threatening to take it away from me.

(((219))) DOWN 3 pounds!!! I'm a teenweigher!!!!

Welcome and Good luck with your appointment. You are right about the Band being the Safest choice. I did not want to risk my life to try to save it. The band is not anything as invasive a bypass. I am still trying to get approved for my surgery. The only thing that I can tell you from my experience is that I was denied because I do not have PROOF of a recent 12 months Medically supervised weight loss attempt and 6 months medically supervised exercise program. If I had known this summer, when I started trying to get the band, what I know now- I would have been going to my PCP and being weighed once a month and have them DOCUMENT that I was trying to lose weight. Atleast that way, I would have about 7 months documented by now. I have struggled with my weight most of my life and the doctor always weighs me, so I thought that would be good enough. But of course if you go the self pay route, as many here have, you will be able to avoid all of the headaches of insurance. Just realize that having the surgery is not the end of your expenses. There are costs for fills and such. Of course most people who have had the surgery will tell you it's well worth it if you can find a way. You are making good choices by researching and learning everything you can.

For the past two weeks, I have tried-really tried to diet. I am writing down EVERYTHING I eat and counting up the calories (1000-1500 per day). I've cut out sugar, and bad carbs, and have been trying to be positive about it. As some of you know, I really got upset with myself the other day for eatting pizza but I decieded not to beat myself up and just eat small amounts of something if I REALLY want it and go on with my life. I've lost several pounds but It's been really hard. My husband 6ft/125pounds! Eats whatever he wants - Ice cream, moon pies, Dr. Pepper! I don't think he even knows what a vegetable looks like! Well, he has no conception of what I am going through. Except that he would like to gain weight and can't! Well, one of my fears is that he might really be disgusted with me(the way I look, my illness's and everything that goes with it, and stuff like that) and that if I lose weight - he might love me more that is if he really loves me now that is. I know this probably sounds insane but it really bothers me. I really want him to love me the way that I am but, I hate myself. So I feel like he should hate me, too. Any ways, I hate it when I am really trying to watch what I eat because I feel so completely self consious. Like he's watching me to see how long I am going to stick with it THIS time. All the while, he climbs in bed with his moon pie or ice cream and drinks his cokes. He never seems to notice that I am eating next to nothing-atleast next to nothing that I really want to eat but let me pick up ONE FREAKING BROWNIE and he notices!!! That by the way is what just happened! He is sitting there chowing on his sweets and I think-man, I really want some chocolate. So, I deciede to get me a small one. I crawl into bed and take a little bite. I'm thinking,"Man, this is soooo good. I am going to eat this really slow and enjoy this treat. I deserve it." I haven't even finished chewing the first bite when he pipes up,"I bet THAT has a million calories. I thought you said you were going to really try to watch what you eat?" Well, that didn't go over too well. I chunked the brownie on the bed in his direction and then spit the bite I had in my mouth in the sink. I crawled back in bed and he just acted like nothing had happened. So, I got really mad and threw the stinking brownie across the room and came in here to talk to you guys. Besides the fact that I feel like a fool for losing my temper and acting like a spoiled brat- I quess the thing that really bothers me is that it confirms my feelings of being "Watched!" and not really loved for who I am. I mean, Hell- I accept his skinny self! Then, I think, "FORGET IT!!! I am not even going to try anymore! Why should I? If he can't love me for who I am forget him!" I did the same thing as a kid. My dad would comment about what I was eating and I would eat more just because he didn't accept me the way I was. Well, I am sure he is probably asleep by now. He is not one of those husbands that appologize or even come look to see if you are okay. So, I have to just deal with this-there is no talking things out with him-but I don't know how. I am so hurt and mad! Why do I let shi* like this get to me? And, how do I NOT sabotage myself.