citygal

This probably doesn't belong on this site, but I'm feeling like crying and thought I would just write what I'm thinking which I think has been giving be head hunger all day. I'm 51 had a very short lived and disastorous marriage about 4 years ago...I know my weight has kept me from opportunities to explore relationships with men I've really been attracted to who I know have liked me on every level but haven't been attracted to me physically. I'm not angry at them...I have my preferences too and I understand attraction is an important component. So about 2 months ago I met someone (from a personal ad) who I had a couple of really amazing dates....we communicated almost every day and then a month ago he started a new job and he's gone almost radio silent. I totally understand being busy and priorities, but he hasn't even checked in since I've been back from my surgery. I had fallen into some of my school girl crush stuff...thinking he might be someone long term. Two of my best pals who were both single for years and years just celebrated one year anniversarys with their new partners and although I am over the moon thrilled for them....it just feels like another place I'm not picked. I was tempted to write him but decided that I deserve someone who would have made an effort to see how I am....I did have surgery after all...nobody is that busy....so I'm not writing to him...I'm writing on here instead. All my fat girl stuff is raging right now. Years of being told I wasn't pretty...years of acting confident and pulled together when I was shaking inside. Being a 300 pound woman has made me invisable to men....I told someone today that it's not that I get bad looks...It's just they look right through me. Now I'm over 50 and it feels like I've wasted so many years and opportunities. Ok...I'm whiney, and sad and I'm going to go take out my contacts...cry a couple of tears and then put on my big girl panties and hit my knees and express my gratitude for all the blessings I do have....my heart just hurts a little right now... If you read this....thank you for indulging me....

Hi-clearly I'm on this site...so I have a bias towards the sleeve and you should take that into account. Like Tiff--I am a band to sleeve revision. I had many problems with overfills/underfills....and such bad acid reflux it effected my vocal chords. I am only 2 months out from my revision surgery....I've lost 38 pounds since my surgery date and feel 1000 times better with my band removed. I travel on business and eat out 4-5 times a week...with my band...I had so many times in the 3 years it was in where I had to run to bathroom to throw up because something was stuck or I would start sliming. I gurgled from my throat to the point others could hear it... One other thing...be SURE if you have the band that your doctor will do your fills. I had my surgery done in Mexico and had a dr in NYC who would do my fills...but when I moved to Philly for a new job...not a single Dr. in Philly would do a fill on a band they didn't insert...how's that for a bad surprise... Whatever you decide to do...band or sleeve....I wish you a happy, healthy...safe experience. Grace

I have had the same fears. As a "filled out" fat woman I didn't think about how I looked naked...if figured if a man I was with didn't know I was fat...he really was too stupid to sleep with anyway...LOL.. but now...things are heading south...my skin is getting droopy...truth is I'm not even thinking about dating...but I know the desire and the opportunities will come back and I'll have to deal with it....It's not the biggest problem in the world...but as a single woman I think about it.... I am pretty darn sure I will have plastic surgery...just how much and when are still up in the air...I still have almost 100 pounds to lose....but the 85ish I've lost so far...have left their mark...I'm glad the weight is gone....but part of me are very deflated

Christie..again so proud of you. I have NEVER been athletic. Last year I signed up and led a team in the Susan G. Komen 3 day (60 miles) and am doing the walk again in November of this year in San Diego...I'm not a jock...but I've learned a few things along the way about walking...so if I can ever support you send me a note.... I did a 5 k in Seattle last weekend....also Leslie Sansome has some GREAT walk at home videos that a great for training and excercise.... Sending you a virtual High 5.....HURRAY FOR YOU!

Congrats!!! You should be very proud of yourself!! Go Girl Go!!

We are all so different...but we all start feeling better soon....hang in there...and get your Water in...staying hydrated will help... will keep you in my prayers.

I am two months post op and my energy is getting back to normal but the first month I really slogged through my day. I had my surgery in Mexico but have seen my internist in Philly twice and he just did bloodwork on me. My thyroid level ( I have taken meds for years) are a bit off and he things my weight loss has effected my levels and is changing my perscription. As for excercise...I know this won't sound helpful....but I think you have to at least consider getting a 15 min walk in each day...I think it has helped me turn the corner. If you have cable tv....you might want to look at the ondemand options...there are even 1 and 2 miles walks on tv you can do in your home. For me..moving...keeps me moving....

LOl...I am not to the bones phase yet...but I admit I love laying in bed knowing my stomach is so much smaller...right before my surgery I was so bloated and uncomfortable and my stomach felt really distended. Still not at collarbones...but happy nonetheless. Congrats!

How fantastic!! I am so happy for you!!

I also had my surgery with Dr. Aceves and it was a very good experience. I was actually there during the aftershocks of the earthquake...so I'm sure your experience will be a little less "bumpy" than mine I traveled to and from mexicali alone and didn't have anyone with me during my stay...and I was perfectly fine.... Some tips: 1. as soon as you can...WALK WALK WALK around the hospital...it will help with your pain and relieving gas pain you will have. 2. Pack a heating pad....it helps with gas pain in your shoulders...they have them but just in case... 3. Have them put a fan in your room right away....you'll appreciate the air. 4. The hospital does have intnernet so a lap top can be nice. 5.Sip all day long to stay hydrated. Have a safe and healthy journey....

I am so glad you went to the ER....pain is our bodies way of saying we need help....and I'm glad you reached out on here and took care of yourself. I am addicted to using food to deal with my emotions. Having a limited physical capacity to eat due to my sleeve has caused me to run straight into my emotions. It has not been easy....but its possible to find a way. I am connecting with a therapist to help me with these issues and have started to really connect with my desire to eat when I am under stress or feeling lonely...sending you lots good wishes for healing and happiness. PS...telling the truth is a huge step in getting better...so brava to you.

First...welcome to this site....you have really been through the war. Like you I am a band to sleeve revision and I can honestly way I am grateful every day I removed my band. I had too many issues with throwing up and my acid reflux got so bad my vocal chords were damaged. I lost my voice for 6 weeks. Having to run to the bathroom at a resturant became a regular issue for me. I lost a about 80 pounds with my band and gained 30 back when I was unfilled. Even unfilled I had foods that got stuck. I was back to 301 pounds when I decided I was one of the people the band wasn't going to work for....I have subsequently heard of a number of people who like you....had issues...like you. There are a ton of people on here who have better long term food advice than me...but I for one believe going slow is a good idea. THere are something I still haven't tried but I can do bread and some veggies as well...I still have 90'sh pounds to lose and you are very close to your goal.....sending you all good things for healing and good health!

Congratulations....50 pounds is fantastic!

What a fantastic milestone!! Congratualtions and keep your eye on the prize!

Congratulations!! Doing the happy dance for you in Philly!

Tomorrow is my 2 month anniversary of my band to sleeve revision. I am down 34 pounds since my surgery date....pre surgery info was so sketchy I thought I'd just use my weight from my surgery date. In 2007 I weighed 350 pounds and thought I was going to die. I really believed if I didn't do something then...I would be dead before the year ended. I got my band in 2007 and have kept off 50 pounds from that time.... Today I am 266 and am grateful for the decision to remove my band and move to the sleeve. I am training for my 2nd Susan G. Komen 3 day-60 mile walk and am grateful my body moves and feels better today than I have in a long time. I walked a 5 k this past weekend with a power walker and was able to keep up. I am still struggling with some head hunger and emotional eating issues but none that have completely overwhelmed me. I appreciate the support and information on this website and for those of you who remind me this is a journey and that there will be bumps along the way. I have gone from a size 24 to a 20 in the past two months and my seat belt extender is no longer packed in my carryon bag...that for me feels like a victory. I'm wearing my heels again since my knees don't hurt all day....little victories along the way.

I understand the frustration, but this seems really common. In my two months since surgery I have stalled a couple of times. One thing I am trying to do is walk the walk my own way. Your body will respond to all the things you are doing to take care of yourself. Also....don't get too caught up in what everyone else is doing....I found myself in the crazy space of seeing who was losing weight faster than me... The stall will pass. Your weight will come off. You will be great.

Tiff-Congratualtions on your fantastic journey. You are such a supportive and kind person on this site.....consider me a big fan!!

Hi all- just checking in and trying to stay honest on this site. I'm down over 30 pounds since my band to sleeve revision and so far still feeling pretty good. I continue to have those moments where my head hunger starts grabbing my attention. I've been doing lots of reading and something really jumped out at me last night. I know that somewhere when I was pretty young I started using food to numb myself out. So I really believe I used food to survive or make it through some of the issues in my childhood. The author I am reading wrote that we sometimes use a canoe to cross the river...but it's not necessary to strap the canoe to your back once you cross the river and carry it around with you. It's fine to leave the canoe by the riverside. So for today....I am thinking that I have crossed my river.....and I need to remember that I don't need to carry it the canoe with me....my smaller stomach has not totally elminated my fears and needs.....

I promised myself I would tell the truth on here. I am struggling a bit. I have lost 28 pounds since my surgery and found that I was feeling good and not having any issue with my sleeve....but as soon as I started getting attention and compliments..I have found myself grazing and eating carbs as much as I can. I keep trying to fill what is obviously a hole in my heart/soul. I have now eaten to the point of pain a couple of times. I hate this. I am reading the new Geneen Roth book and it's triggering some thinking and feelings. This is the lowest weight I have been in over 7 years and I've lost 75 pounds since 2007 but there is some wall I keep hitting.... I'm going to find a local therapist when I get back from the long weekend....My sleeve is NOT the issue...it's my addiction to food....

Thank you all for writing to me. I was away for the long weekend and didn't have a chance to respond. I am doing better but know this is going to be a constant battle for me. I am really trying to be "present" when it comes to my food and eating. I appreciate your support and promise I will continue to tell my truth on here.

Hello all- I've not been posting much since I've been traveling almost 90% of the time since I a week post surgery. So this week I reached an important milestone for me. I have lost 75 pounds from my highest weight of 350 in 2007. Although I struggled with my lapband the 50 pounds I lost and managed to keep off were a step in the right direction. Now with the added weight loss from my sleeve I am feeling my body start to reshape into the strong healthy woman I want to be. Being on the road all the time can present some challeneges and I find myself still putting larger portions of food on my plate than I can possibly eat....my eyes and my stomach (literally) haven't quite caught up with each other...I attended a national conference last week in LA and was able to wear two suits that were size 20....I haven't been in a 20 in years. I'm trying to enjoy my body where it is and not be obsessed with the future. I'm home sick with a wicked cold today and am trying to remember that my body needs sleep more than it needs food...in the old days a day like this would have been an all day binge day....my sleeve makes that impossible...thank god.

I for one felt hunger right before my period. My cycle is really screwed up right now, and I think even with the pill it will take months for me to get back to a regular cycle. I did experience my "emotional" up and down and my food cravings...both passed pretty quickly.

Hi there. I believe you have to totally do your research and decide what is right for you,. I am someone who has had a band to sleeve revision and will only tell you my expeirience. Take is as intended...more data. Here's somethings that are important to know with the band. 1. You need to be sure your surgeon will provide you with "fills" for your band. I had my surgery done in Mexico in 2007 and when I moved to Philadelphia NO DOCTORS in Philadelphia would do a fill on a band they didn't do the surgery on. So if you move or plan to move...keep that in mind. 2. I had such horrible acid reflux I lost my voice for 6 weeks. I had acid reflux induced laringytis. The damage can become permanent. 3. It was very difficult for me to find a "sweet spot" for my fills. If you band is too loose you will not lose weight and too tight you can't even get down a sip of Water. 4. I had an uncomfortable tightness in my throat the entire time and had severe vomiting after many meals. I can't tell you how many times I had to run to the bathroom in a resturant becuase I was going to throw up suddenly. Again...please do your homework....there are people who have good luck with the band...I was not one of them. Whatever you decide. I wish you good luck and good health.

I am going to assume you are flying....if not..you will probably just want to ignore the rest of this note... I flew home from Mexicali to Philadelphia alone 4 days post surgery and have travled almost 90% of the time since I've had my surgery for business. Here are some things to consider 1. tell your airline you may need wheelchair assistance which you can get when you arrive at aiport...you may not need it but if its lined up...they get you through security quicker etc. If you are too tired or uncomfortabel to walk through the airport this can be really helpful 2. PACK light or check your suitcase so you don't have to carry much. 3. Have gasx strips and imodium with you. Gas pains from surgery are super common and sometimes your body just needs help. 4. Ask you doctor about pain meds in case you need for the trip. I didn't need any...but some folks do. 5. Board early. When they call for folks who need to board early...tell the gate agent you just had a procedure....this will allow you to board early and get seated without feeling rushed down the jetway. If you need a seat belt extender to feel comfortable (I did) then ask the flight attendent as you board...don't be embarassed...you don't have to explain yourself...they have them on board. Use it if you need it. 6. Buy a bottle of Water to take on board. You don't want to rely on the flight crew to bring you something to drink and to keep you hydrated while you fly. Safe and Happy travels.....Bon Voyage...