My surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday. There is no question...I am scared of the unknown future that will follow surgery...
but I am more scared of the known consequences of no surgery: Another diet, and eventual weight regain. I have dieted most of my life. I have a "lifetime key" at Weight Watchers. I worked as a counselor at Diet Center. I have easily lost and regained more than 500 pounds during my lifetime. I was a ballet dancer in college, weighing in at my lowest adult weight of 119 pounds--and yet here I am, barely able to waddle at 283 pounds. How's that for visible evidence of all my dieting successes? My life has been consumed by trying to control my weight. Now the key word is Morbid. Morbid Obesity. Morbid because this problem with my weight has in many ways been a hidden death sentence. Technically, I am alive, but even though I am 54 years old, I might at well be 84. It hurts to walk, it hurts to stand, it hurts to sit, it hurts to sleep. I have sleep apnea and high blood pressure. No energy to do much of anything. Morbid? Yep...it's the life of the living dead. I'm hoping that this surgery is going to take me out of the "dead zone" and offer me the opportunity to enjoy life again.
