Hey there!! I hope you're doing ok and I just wanted to tell you that I completely and totally understand the compulsion to eat. I really do. I also want you to know that there is a lot of hope out there for you so don't despair. Something that is really important to be aware of is that it takes a little bit of time for the hunger hormone to get out of your system. I know many people have lost the majority of their hunger a month or so after surgery b/c that part of the stomach that produces it was removed. I vividly remember still being very hungry in the first few weeks and this was shocking to me. It scared me. I immediately became panicked feeling as if this isn't going to work. That I'm the one person it will fail. So let me tell you that you're not alone feeling like that. However, you must realize that it takes time for your body to adjust. I was told by several people on this board that the hunger hormone would go out of my body over time and it did. It really and truly did. I know we all have slightly different experiences but for me personally it took some time but it did leave my system. Once this happens you will find it much easier.
Secondly, it is hard to go 100 miles an hour to a sudden stop . By that I mean, you're overeating one day and the next day you're suddenly without 80% of your stomach and on liquids. That is a drastic overnight switcheroo!! It's almost impossible to stop and do a u turn that quickly and yet that is what we're all trying to do here. To struggle with it behaviorally and in your head is totally normal. Again, you're NOT alone in this . You're NOT a failure. You are struggling with what all of us struggle with.
I would advise you to stick with the plan the doctor gave you as much as you possibly can in your own strength but do this knowing that the hunger hormone will most likely be leaving your system a little every single day. And remember that it takes like 30 days to form new habits. So every day that goes by will get better.
I have to advise like the others to heed the warning of not overdoing it and causing a leak. I don't want to scare you though. I just want you to be aware. But most of all you must know that you're NOT a failure! You can do this . You really can.