LittleLottie
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My broken relationship with food...
LittleLottie replied to citygal's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I just logged in to search SPECIFICALLY for this topic! I just finished Women, food, and God (by Geneen Roth) yesterday...and the emotions and fear coming up is not something I expected! But this is one of those books that I think, I HOPE, can truly open our hearts and help us find healing if we will let it.... The problem is, (and I'm sure many of you can relate) that my fear that without having food to numb the pain or provide an escape-life would be unbearable...that I wouldn't be able to cope...And this (illogical, ridiculous, destructive) fear sometimes overrides my deepest and most sincere desires to be healthy and maintain and a lean weight. I got lapband in 07, and was very successful, losing over 100 pounds... (238 down to 132, currently 156) But I know I believed the "lie" or the illusion that once I was skinny, life would be easier to manage or deal with. (Cause skinny people don't have problems, right? Haha!) For a while, I even convinced myself that this was true.... I loved being a size 2-4. I loved the attention. I loved fitting into ANYTHING I tried on and looking great. BUT..... being thin didn't change how my parents saw me... it didn't make my father realize I'm a talented, successful woman and a great mother.... It didn't stop my husband from spiraling in his own terrible addiction which nearly killed him and almost destroyed our family. And it sure as hell didn't stop me from eating my weight in ice cream to numb the pain. IT WAS NOT A MAGIC PILL, it did not CURE the wounds and brokenness and did not make life easier to cope with. My band is no longer working now. I had a dilation in November, and I think it has just continued to worsen, and I've gained 25 pounds! This has been terrifying, and incredibly frustrating. I've done HCG, atkins, paleo, and liquid diets, and have joined a crossfit gym, working out harder than I EVER have in my life! But then I sabotage it and eat crap over a weekend or for birthdays, etc, so now, slowly, the weight has continued to pile onto my butt. And dieting in between my fits of emotional eating has just started me back on the hellish rollercoaster I had been on for 1/2 my life before getting the band. Some of this I weight I probably needed to gain, but 10-15 lbs of it is just stubborn fat from my impulsive choices... I feel like the fat is my punishment for being stupid, and my body retaliating from the years of not eating, rollercoastering, abusing it, and neglecting it. Now that I can eat more- it doesn't seem to matter WHAT I eat, I gain. (I joke with my husband that I could gain weight eating a carrot.) I desperately want to get the sleeve- I wanted it MONTHS ago, but I know I also subconsciously believe that the sleeve will be the cure to my current situation... and it's irreversible.... so if I fail at the sleeve, like I am now failing with the band...then what? Am I going to have WLS revisions every five years for the rest of my life? Ah, I don't think so!!! I'VE GOT TO GET TO THE UNDERLYING ISSUES, otherwise they are just going to continue to fester and undermine anything I do. I've got to become whole with my relationship to food before a revision is an option.... I don't want to spend the rest of my life loving and fearing or hating and resenting every damn thing I put in my mouth. I want to be able to live like a "normal" person. Ugh... why couldn't I just "switch" my food addiction to an exercise addiction, or a compulsive cleaning addiction....(sigh) Haha! So those of you who feel you have conquered your food addictions, or needs to medicate/escape/numb with food.... how did you do it? What, specifically, did you do? Thanks ladies! Have a great day! -
I actually dropped weight after gb removal just because I had to do bland, full liquids again for a few days because my surgeon also did an endoscopy to check out my sleeve. I weighed 140 the day of gb surgery, I lost 10 pounds over the next 4-5 weeks. I waited way too long to have my gb removed. I had symptoms that I ignored for 2 months, and then had a massive attack. I finally went in when I could no longer eat or drink anything. My gb was 1/3 full of stones, and so inflamed my surgeon made me do 4 days of chicken soup, crackers, and greek yogurt to get the inflammation down so he could perform the surgery with the least amount of risks.
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Tiff-
Did you have any problems with weight gain or difficulty losing or anything like that post GB? I am nervous about this...
I will watch for your post... and I can't thank you enough! You are SO helpful! =)
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Yeppers, there's a few patients that opt to have their gallbladder removed simultaneously. I had mine out in February, and have had to make some adjustments to my food choices. Essentially, I just had to cut out full fat dressings, and avocados and red pasta sauce or large amounts of ketchup. Those are the only things that bother me severely post gb removal, but everything else has been good to go.
I'll start checking around your area for a good revision surgeon. Give me a couple of days, and I'll get back with you.
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Band to Sleeve Revision at same time as Gall Bladder Removal????
LittleLottie replied to LittleLottie's topic in Revision Weight Loss Surgery Forums (NEW!)
That's fantastic! So far, the surgeons I've contacted locally have only had experience doing revisions from band to RNY- and I really want someone experience in band to sleeve revisions.... so I will most likely have to travel. (My insurance is already out of network, as it's through Oxford in the New York area....so I don't THINK it would be a problem having an out-of-state surgeon....but who knows!!!) I am glad to hear that this worked out for you- and I hope you are having wonderful success, and feeling great now that the band is gone! =) -Charlotte -
Thanks hon! I am in Utah... sorry, I should have mentioned that... =)
I really appreciate the help!
It looks like I may end up needing my gall bladder out too now- so I am wondering about having one surgeon do it all so insurance helps cover the cost... Have you heard of anyone doing this???
Thanks!!!!!!!!!
Charlotte
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Band to Sleeve Revision at same time as Gall Bladder Removal????
LittleLottie posted a topic in Revision Weight Loss Surgery Forums (NEW!)
I am, like many of you, desperate to have my band out and be revised to the sleeve. I have been saving and working on financing for a couple of months now... (I was originally planning to have Dr. Aceves do the revision...) But it now looks like I will need to have my gall bladder removed, and I am trying to quickly get information on the possibility of having the revision at the same time, and hoping that if I could do this, I could pay less out of pocket for the revision since my insurance would cover my gall bladder removal. Has anyone been in this situation, or have any tips? I would also love recommendations for US surgeons who are experienced with band to sleeve revisions so that I can look into insurance coverage for them... Thanks in advance everyone!! =) -
Hey Charlotte,
If you're on the West Coast, check out Dr. Cirangle in California, and let me know what state you are in and I can help find a great revision surgeon in your area. My surgeon is a military doctor and you have to live within 100 miles with Tricare (military insurance) for him to be authorized for him to perform your surgery. He's a great surgeon, and I've recommended him to others, but for your situation we'll have to find a good revision surgeon.
Talk to you soon,
Tiff
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Thanks for all the great information and posts you have out there...just wanted to let you know that your knowledge has been very helpful!!! =)
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I have so appreciated all the information and resources you provide to everyone...they have been so helpful to me! I am trying to figure out where & how to get a band to sleeve revision. If I can get my insurance to cover it in the US- I will do that, provided I can find a good revision surgeon...Otherwise, I will definitely be going with Dr. Aceves- and this is all because of research I've done on him after reading information posted by YOU...so thank you! =)
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Hi! I've been reading many of your posts about band to sleeve revision- and appreciate all the knowledge you share!
I am looking for a surgeon here in the US, as I think my insurance will cover the revision based on calls I have made and "medical necessity." I wanted to find out if you recommend your revision doc- or if you know of any others in the US. (Preferably on the west coast, but will travel where ever to have best/most experienced revision surgeon...)
Thanks in advance!
Charlotte
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Hi! I saw your post about having a band and converting to the sleeve... I have had my band for three years now and have lost a lot of weight... (sounds stupid- but "gained" to get it.. up to 238, got a little too skinny, down to 125- but normally stayed around 132-135... I've now suddenly bumped up to 148 and can't budge and ounce, no matter how hard I work out or try to eat well... I can eat more than I know I should, despite two fills... my band is just not working all of a sudden! I think I've had a slip, although my doc says I haven't because I'm not nauseous...) UGH!
Anyway... do you like your doc? Was it hard to get approved? What made you decide to go this route? (And how expensive was it?) I think my hubs would flip if I started talking about spending MORE money on weight loss... we already spent 13k on my banding surgery out of pocket...
anyway... would love to hear from you...
Thanks!