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Shanny, I'm glad that you and your gal reconciled. Sometimes we don't realize what the people around us are going through and I'm glad you guys were able to talk about this and share openly. My husband was incredibly frustrated and insecure and I had no idea until his little comments annoyed me to the point that I confronted him. He needed to talk about what was bothering him and have his say before he could be more comfortable. It's taking some time but he's slowly accepting that this is my body, even if he liked the old one, and that I'm not going to gain the weight back. It's amazing how the people we love can be so supportive in some ways but so scared and resentful in other ways. I hope you two will continue to talk and keep your feelings about this open so you can avoid problems later. I will encourage you to talk to a counselor about overeating. I am no professional but it sounds like you have classic overeater habits and use food for consolation and to numb painful emotions. Talk to someone, or at the least join an online forum with overeaters that use the same coping skills. A big part of having the surgery is to lose weight. It's to be all those things we weren't before - thinner, happier, healthier. But another thing this surgery gives us is the chance to work through all of the emotional garbage, bad coping skills and ugly life events that helped us get fat in the first place. You will be a much happier person overall if you work on these things, slowly but surely. I recently read a short book - a quick and easy read - called "Hungry" by Allen Zadoff. He's not pro-surgery at all, but it talks about the emotional attachments we have to food and how he dealt with them. You might like it if you pick it up at your local library. He doesn't prescribe a diet plan or a way to live your life, though. He just shares his experiences. I related to parts of the book and disagreed with others, but I think that overall there is something useful to be gained from this book if you try to eat past your emotions, something I'm guilty of, too. Best of luck to you guys. Really. Relationships take a lot of work and a lot of communication and if you guys just keep communicating the good and the bad I'm sure you'll be just fine. ~Cheri

I'm glad it's going easier for you. There are a number of lactose-free shakes out there to try if you continue to have issues or if they worsen post op. Some folks have their minor intolerance worsen considerably after surgery (me!) so it's definitely do-able. Yogurt should be okay as far as meeting your nutritional guidelines, but for some folks (me!) it's just as bad as milk. It depends on how bad your intolerance is so if you notice an issue lay off the yogurt and see what happens. At first, my only issue was milk. Over three months post op it developed into full blown intolerance of anything but hard cheeses. So watch it and pay attention to your body if you experience pain or discomfort in the months after surgery. I'd also check into artificial sweeteners as a large increase in your diet can cause the same discomfort. I have this issue, too, because prior to surgery I mostly avoided artificial sweetener and went for the real deal. My body just can't tolerate all that fake stuff and I get sick when I have too much - even drinking too much Crystal Light can give me trouble. Yuck. Anyway, I have to buy a Protein shake with natural sweetener and no lactose, but it definitely can be done! Best of luck to you, and keep up the good work with tracking your food. You're building one of the most important habits you can have post op, so don't worry too much if you don't lose weight before surgery. Focus on how much it's going to help you in the future. Most of the time when I stall it's due to a failure on my part to accurately track what I'm putting in my mouth. Stay accountable and you'll definitely succeed. ~Cheri

Congrats! It's a huge milestone and I just passed it myself so I remember how awesome it felt to realize I'd lost so much. You're doing a great job - enjoy it! ~Cheri

Great work! It's a huge milestone, isn't it? I'm happy for you - you look really fantastic! ~Cheri

Congrats on the loss so far. I had two pretty long stalls where I was pretty sure my body was done. There were a few factors involved. Log your food. Do it, and do it religiously. Set goals and meet them. When I stalled out and maintained at close to the same weight for several months, I wasn't logging my food. And guess what? I was back to old habits and totally in denial about how much I was eating. I was up to 1200-1500 calories a day, and DUH the scale was hardly moving. I was grabbing a handful (or three) of jelly belly Beans throughout the day, eating almost no Protein, enjoying a soda and popcorn late night snack...just bad habits that I can't allow if I still want to lose weight. I started logging, dropped those calories right back down to where I was when I was losing and BAM! I'm finally closing in on my goal. I also had to retrain myself and lock the carb monster away again, which was tough for about three days but now I'm fine. So log that food. Here's where a lot of folks will disagree with me, though, because nobody can deny that exercise is great for us and helps us to stay fit and fight off cravings and reshape our formerly flabby bodies. But exercise alone isn't going to just jumpstart your weight loss. Look to what you're actually putting in your body first because that's usually where you can find the solution. Do exercise. You want a nice, toned body when you get to goal and you want a healthy heart so you can live a long life and enjoy your goal weight! But don't think that throwing yourself into the gym for an extra hour each day is going to miraculously get you to goal all by itself. Look into the external factors. Got stress? I mean, more than usual. :smile1: Did you change any medications or so something different? Make sure you eliminate the possibility that something else is impacting your slow down. Finally, stop comparing! We inevitably get stressed and frustrated because our scales move slower than someone else's. Well, I had surgery a year ago July. I admit, I haven't been as great about tracking my calories the whole time and I hate exercise. But I've been a slow loser the entire time, no matter what I tweaked or changed or cut out. Sometimes, our bodies just need time to adjust. Sometimes, we're just different than other people and lose at a different rate. I was so happy for my friend that got sleeved at the same time as me when she hit goal after only 9 months - and she had more to lose! But I was also jealous and frustrated because I wasn't there. But I'm almost there now, and that's what matters. Honestly - take a break for a second and put your expectations and impatience aside. If you got to goal and it took two years instead of nine months would you really care once you got there? I was in such a rush to hit goal by 10 months out, but you know what? Victory is JUST as sweet at 16 months out. So keep plugging away. Log that food and see if you have a problem. But don't fall into bad habits or give up because you feel like you're not going to lose anything else. If you keep doing the right things you WILL reach your goal. Good luck! ~Cheri

Try to relax and let it all happen. It seems like things are all coming together for you, and yeah, it's a lot to handle at once and it's stressful but it's all working out. So breathe! Stay positive about the job interview - hopefully that will come through for you! If they make you an offer, you simply have to let them know about the surgery. But there's no need to worry until that point. There's absolutely no benefit in it, either! I doubt it will be an issue. It seems like you really are on your way. Best of luck to you. This has clearly been a long journey for you to get approved, so just a little more patience won't be so hard. Take care, ~Cheri

Start with the head work now. You'll have to do it at some point. I didn't do it prior to surgery and I'm doing it now that I'm steps away from goal. I just read a really great book called "Hungry" by Allen Zadoff. No, he didn't have surgery and he's even a little opposed to the idea. The book doesn't contain a diet plan or a how-to, but it does talk about the emotional issues and our attachments to food - if you're an overeater, this is a great book to pick up and it's a quick and easy read. If you're not, it will be less useful for you. Try to figure out what makes you eat, what exactly keeps you from losing weight on traditional plans, etc. I didn't realize I had so many emotional triggers. I was also in denial about being an overeater. All the way up to surgery I was convinced that it was purely a metabolic issue with me, and while to some extent that's true, I was totally denying the fact that I loved to stuff my face with food that was bad for me. Try to understand yourself. You're going to do this work at some point if you want to be totally successful with this surgery, so you might as well start now. Try to cut out your most harmful foods now. Try to make tiny steps towards how you will eat post op. Don't go whole-hog into a diet plan (unless you want to) because if you've made up your mind to have surgery you're just going to make yourself crazy trying to do a diet now. But focus on healthier eating. Once your surgery date is booked you'll likely have a few food funerals. Most of us do. But make new habits now to get your head and body closer to where you'll be post op. It will help, I promise. Make one meal a day a healthy pre-op portion of something you might eat post-op - like tuna salad with whole wheat crackers, instead of a big sandwich and chips. Or whatever - I'm trying not to make any assumptions about your eating habits since I don't know you. Drink those eight glasses of Water a day. Try adding in a Protein shake at night instead of a cookie. Do little things to help ease the transition. I did none of these things and was surprised by how emotional and honestly distressed I was after surgery, when I couldn't use food for comfort or to socialize. It took me a while to learn how to work this new me into my old life without falling back into bad habits. I self-paid and went to Mexico. I can tell you that you simply are not going to find negative reviews or comments about Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. He charges a bit more than some of the other international surgeons but you get top notch care from a doctor with NO leaks and NO deaths. He's strict - that 20 day liquid diet post op was h-a-r-d but is really important for safe healing. I took out an unsecured loan through my bank with no problem. The only bill I have that I'm happy to pay is that one! I never complain about it and I never resent it. I'm just thankful I could get it done. Good luck to you. I have to things to say that are sort of contradictory. One, every doctor has to gain experience some time - so the guy with the most (complication free) surgeries under his belt is always a good option but don't discount someone with less experience if you trust that doctor. Two, I trust world-of-mouth reviews more than anything else. I watched this board for a year before having my surgery, and Dr. Aceves inspired a great deal of loyalty from his patients. I contacted his office and all of my interactions with Nina and Gaby were wonderful, so I had no reason to feel any concern about using him. And once I met him, I completely understand why his patients love him so much. He's a really fantastic surgeon and a great guy who will tell you the truth about what to do to lose the weight. I recommend him very highly, so if you don't find anyone in Costa Rica or the Dominican Republic, there's always Mexico! ~Cheri

All grumpity-grumps aside, thanks for sharing. It's hard enough to get this surgery done at a MTF right now, so women considering it might want to jump on it quickly. ~Cheri

Whatever, just another excuse to cut our benefits! But you bet your bottom every time I went into my doc prior to surgery I got a huge lecture on my weight. Military docs think the BMI chart is the end-all and be-all of the universe. The military paid for me to have the nutrition class four times because my doctor was convinced I just needed to know how to eat properly for the weight to fall off. They paid for countless hormone panels and even paid for my metabolic testing. I self paid for VSG because military insurance is great in some ways but really bites in other ways. And guess what? I bet "the taxpayers" are relieved that they're no longer paying for the six medications I was on prior to surgery, including diabetes meds and test strips, huh? They were shelling out hundreds a month for little old me. In the long term, the expense of insuring overweight people is far more than paying for the surgery in the first place. Anyway, this piece was likely done because America wants to be mad at everyone for money right now and play the point-the-finger game - as though the expense of even a thousand surgeries done in military hospitals somehow outweighs the expense of having our troops involved in five different conflicts right now! Let's rile the taxpayers up over pennies so they won't start complaining about the dollars! Sorry I sound so crabby and bitter. I'm a grumpy Army wife that self-paid for my surgery and flew from Germany to Mexico to have it done. I've been continually denied good medical benefits and even good medical care - every minor issue I ever had was blamed on my weight, to the point of ridiculousness. I can very honestly say the only thing Tricare has ever handled for me without an issue was the pregnancy and delivery of my twins. In eight years, I've had one really great thing handled without headaches, letters, and fighting for approval. Tricare can bite it, and so can the news networks riling people up over stupid things like this. ~Cheri

How exciting! She's absolutely beautiful and you guys are so blessed. I'm happy for your family. Enjoy these early days! ~Cheri

GNC is where I got mine. I got tired of them and gave two boxes away recently or I'd send them your way! I picked up four boxes when they were BOGO free - and I do believe they do the same sale online. You'll save even more if you have a Gold Card and shop the first week of the month when it's 20% off everything and free shipping. ~Cheri

In case you haven't yet, check with your doctor. I think you should be 100% sure there isn't an issue with your sleeve. I'm 16 months out and I still get pain if I eat the following foods, even if it's just two or three bites: Flour tortillas Bread - hearty bread like a dinner roll or a bagel Rice Any amount of Pasta or any shape or size - three or four bites and I'm in pain So clearly, heavy carbs freak my sleeve out! I think they just get bigger and heavier in my tummy and it aches, so I avoid these foods as much as possible. I'm also completely unable to eat dairy unless it's a hard cheese, but this is a different type of stomach/intestinal pain and doesn't seem to be what you're talking about. Get checked out. Seriously - get an allergy test and an upper GI if you can afford it or your insurance will cover it, just to be sure there isn't a real problem. ~Cheri Edited to add: When I say "pain" I do not mean rolling around on the floor in agony. I mean discomfort, a stretched and uncomfortably full feeling and once in a while a sharper pain directly where my sleeve is located. Enough to make me not do things that hurt, but not serious enough to feel like I have a major issue.

I didn't have a pre-op diet so I can't really relate to having a doctor's orders to follow a specific plan. However, I did notice that I did the whole "food funeral" thing a bit, too. I think in the long run, cutting out those foods that trigger cravings (for me that was fast food in general, especially french fries and soda) is for the better. The liquids phase post op is TOUGH and the more "clean" your eating prior to surgery the easier I think it is to get through it. But regardless of anything else I'll say that you shouldn't beat yourself up if it's hard or challenging. If losing weight were easy for any of us, we wouldn't be here. If I could just wave my magic wand and stop craving bad food or feeling hungry or hating exercise I wouldn't have shelled out ten grand for surgery! And I hate to sound like a downer or worry you, but some of those foods that I loved before I can't eat at all - even now, 16 months out. So enjoy this time - start slowly making better choices because later on you won't have a choice if you want to be healthy and not hurt your sleeve, but relax about the whole thing. ~Cheri

First, it's fairly normal to lose hair right around three months. I lost hair until about 7 months post op - between 5 and 7 months post op it slowly started to improve but the fourth month was really bad. I was scared I'd have to cut all my hair off! Second, try upping your Protein intake if you can. I know it's hard to eat that much, especially so early on, but 80-100 grams per day really makes a difference in me. I will say that right around 15 months I let my protein dip - I got careless, our location prevented me from eating meat and dairy every day, etc. and I started losing hair again. As soon as I upped it back up above 80 grams a day the hair loss stopped. Oh, and I took Biotin for months and it didn't seem to help. Once I stopped I didn't notice a difference at all. For some folks it might help but for some the loss just happens and will end once our bodies get used to the drastic changes we're making. Good luck. Don't worry too much, you'll get through this. ~Cheri

Totally normal. It gets easier. It was more than two months before I could regularly hit my intake goals for calories and Water. If you're not doing Protein shakes, you should be. Try to find one you can tolerate and hopefully enjoy. I am more than a year out but due to our crazy weird geographical location I'm limited to eggs, tuna and Kosher hot dogs for protein, so I still drink one shake every day and sometimes two. It helped to have my drinks warm or at room temp, like a previous poster mentioned. Oh, and I'm 16 months out and I can still only eat one egg at a time. :smile1: ~Cheri

It might or might not, because everyone is different. You never know, so take advantage of it while you can! I'm 16 months out and it's still not back. I get "empty" when I need to eat and I no longer need to take a PPI to reduce acid so when my tummy grumbles it's because I need to eat. However, I still don't get that "I'm hungry" feeling that I used to get. I'll usually notice I need to eat when I get lightheaded or my stomach growls. I do get head hunger or cravings occasionally and sometimes I ignore them and sometimes I indulge. It's nothing like it was prior to surgery, though. Not even close! If I get a hankering for pizza, for example, having one thin slice will completely fill me up and satisfy me. However, for some people that hunger doesn't go away (these folks are few and far between from what I've seen) so please be aware of that before you have surgery. In most cases, people that still feel "hungry" post op either need to up their PPI dose or are dealing with emotional eating issues, not actual physical hunger. ~Cheri

You know, since surgery I have NO tolerance for alcohol anymore! I drink about 1/4 of a beer and I'm tipsy. It's crazy. Anyway, I can drink a beer (or two) if I am not eating and sitting at the table for a long while. I still can't drink AND eat at the same meal or I don't have room for food, so drinking a beer with dinner isn't an option for me. So when hubby and I go hang out at our favorite Irish Pub, I can drink maybe two Guinness, sometimes three if it's a long night. But oh, the scale hates me the next day and I get so incredibly DRUNK doing it! So I only do it about once every three months. ~Cheri

Yeah, great posts Tiffy and Oregondaisy! I'm 16 months out and can definitely eat more than at six months. I think the way Oregondaisy put it is exactly right - at six months I was counting bites, not ounces, because it was a real fight to eat much of anything. I'm about the same as everyone else: 1 slice of very thin crust pizza with cheese and mushrooms 3/4 to 1 cup of Soup, unless it's very hearty like a stew or chili, then it's more like 1/2 to 3/4 cup 1 egg 2 to 3 oz of dense Protein like lamb, beef or sausage, 3 to 4 oz of soft chicken 1 hard shell taco 8-10 potato chips, 5-6 regular pretzels 1 slice of toast, if it's not too big (but I can't eat anything else if I do this, so I avoid it) I have a huge capacity when it comes to popcorn so I have to watch it - I can eat 2 cups before I feel full I still can't eat: Soft tortillas, especially flour - they gum up and expand, hurting my tummy Pasta - anything beyond one or two bites fills me up immediately Rice - I can sometimes get a few tablespoons of rice in, but it's not easy I'll say once you're past a year it's still easier than pre-op but it's definitely a little tougher to control what you eat. I can easily eat 1500 calories in a day if I choose to have a soda and eat carbs all day. I'd have to do it all the time to gain weight, but I have to make good choices or I'll go off track. But going back to eating half a dozen hot wings and half a pizza like pre-op just isn't going to happen! Good luck to you! ~Cheri

Definitely search the forums here for this one, because I know it's been addressed and discussed before - and you'll see plenty of other stories that way. My situation isn't the same - my husband is a pretty fit guy military guy. However, I can honestly say that almost every relationship has changed somewhat since surgery last year. Part of that is me changing and part of that is how the people around you deal with your changes. A lot of women I thought were my friends didn't want to be so friendly once I dropped the weight. My husband has never liked thin women, and while I do not see myself as thin he does and it's less attractive to him. We had a pretty solid marriage prior to my operation though, so we're getting through this. I am still slowly changing (both physically and emotionally) and this is affecting how I view the relationships in my life and what I'm willing to tolerate. I have cut entire groups of people out of my life post op, because once my body was healthier it was easier for my mind and heart to just drop the toxic relationship. Anyway, take it slow and try to talk about things with your husband as you go through this process. My husband felt that I was being selfish - he never felt I needed to lose weight - and if we hadn't talked about it he might have wound up resentful and angry down the line. Just my two cents. Good luck, and those months before your surgery will fly by, I swear. ~Cheri

I actually didn't have a preop diet so I can't help you there, though I assume it would be the same. Do an internet search for agar agar recipes - I read some neat ideas about gelling Soups and other foods which might help with that "bite" thing. I remember those 20 days of liquids being the longest 20 days of my life! Also, don't sub agar flakes or powder 1:1 for Gelatin or you'll get a super-firm, kind of crumbly and not so appetizing gel. To make something much softer and closer to Jello, I use about half of what is usually suggested (1 Tbs. flakes per cup of liquid). You might have to play with it a bit to get it where you like, but it's worth the effort.

Do you ever use agar flakes to sub for Gelatin in recipes? I used to make gelatin from agar agar and juice - you just boil it and chill it afterward. It's not quite the same as Jello brand but it's pretty close. I also remember finding a vegan gelatin at Trader Joe's one time. Check that out. Oh, and I think I read once that the Dole fruit cups (those have canned fruit in them, so they aren't perfect) are vegetarian (not vegan) so that might be an option. I know your broths will get boring but don't forget to mix it up as much as possible with something like the Better than Bouillon vegetarian mixes - mock beef and mock chicken blends that you can flavor a number of ways so that it doesn't get too boring. Consider making your own sorbets (or buying them) from pureed fruit and simple syrup as a change of pace from plain old popsicles. The secret, in my opinion, is to spice things up with as much flavor as possible when your diet is limited. Intensely fruity sorbets and spicy vegetable broths will be far more satisfying that a can of veg broth or a grape popsicle! Post op you'll be fine, especially in the states where meat substitutes abound. And as a pescatarian you'll have even more options! The clears/liquids get boring for everyone, though, you just have to get through it. Hopefully you'll have enough suggestions from folks to help you through. ~Cheri

Yes, consult your surgeon immediately just to be sure there isn't a complication. I, too, did not "eat" until more than 20 days post op so I did not experience this. However, any time that I have thrown up it has always been due to a food that I can't tolerate or eating too much at one time. It might be that your stomach simply isn't ready for food but it might be something else. The only things that caused me a problem were tortillas (still can't touch them, even more than a year out) and dairy products. You need to call your doctor now - don't wait for Monday. Better to call for nothing than to have a serious complication go untreated even for a day. ~Cheri

Take a break and slowly reintroduce after a few days with one item and see how it goes. I developed serious lactose intolerance post op. For me, dairy is an absolute no-no, so I had to turn elsewhere for Protein. I cannot tolerate any animal milk, not even Lactaid or goat milk. Sour cream, cream (heavy, light or whipped), yogurt, cottage cheese and most soft cheeses cause me immense discomfort. Ice cream is an absolute forbidden food for me - even the tiniest amount has me sick for the entire day. Whipped cream does the same. Now, some of those foods I'm happy to avoid, but others were very tough to give up. I do okay with hard cheeses like parmesan or aged cheddars, in small doses - but those are hard to find where I'm currently living, so I just do without for the most part. I relied heavily on cottage cheese and yogurt for protein in the beginning so I was lost without them. I finally had to switch my Protein shake to a lactose free one and start mixing with coffee, almond milk or soy milk. I make my own soy milk and from it, yogurt and tofu. I eat these or make seitan when I'm not in the mood for a meat-based meal but I still need protein. I'm not in America, but in the states this isn't as hard to overcome as you might think. There are SO many options to keep you able to eat these foods that you love, provided you don't have an allergy to soy, too! Stateside I can sub out coffee creamer with coconut milk, eat coconut ice cream, enjoy non-dairy sour cream and cream cheese replacements and even order non-dairy cheeses online or find them at my local store. Many of these options are nutritionally similar and will also boost your protein intake a little. The hardest part for me was finding a lactose free protein shake that I enjoyed but I've since found several that I can tolerate. Order samples online if it turns out you do need to change things up. I can tell you that as much as I miss dairy my life is improved very much now that I'm not suffering from discomfort. Good luck. Hopefully you won't have an issue, but even if you do it's not the end of the world. ~Cheri