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Everything posted by clk
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Wish I could help but I'm not having the same issue. Is it worth a PM to Alex? ~Cheri Ah, you've posted in the meanwhile. Yeah...I skip a lot of threads these days. I often wonder why I even bother visiting the site anymore because there are a ton of people here that clearly don't want any help.
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Thank you for sharing FYE - your story resonates, too. Many of us here have similar experiences or feelings. I'm glad we can all share here. Swizzly, I am SO sorry to hear your news. Good vibes for sure! Sarsar - I think the trick is just not to lose control. Easier said than done! But remember that overindulging is the norm this time of year, and try to remember why so many people wind up unhappily making New Year's resolutions about weight! Enjoy yourself, certainly. Don't stress about it or allow it to make you anxious. But do be cautious. Use sense - you know the rules. The good news is that you probably CAN get away with more than you could early on. Just go into it and allow yourself to enjoy it, but without getting carried away. And if you have a small gain, know that it's pretty normal after the holidays, you're not alone and you know how to lose it. I consider holding steady though the holidays a hell of an accomplishment. Small gains are expected and if I ever saw a loss I'd be floored! ~Cheri
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Excellent post. I do things that are completely unlike most folks - but I've been sleeved for more than three years! The important thing for people to do is figure out their personal limits so they can work moderation. I can't drink soda everyday (and I finally don't want to, which is great) and I can't eat popcorn or I'll want it all the time. Oh, and fast food? Gotta watch that stuff. If there's something that triggers me, it's fried up carb-laden badness. I want it every day, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me or how much it bugs my sleeve. If I indulge in too many "bad" carbs I hit that insulin resistance and that's all my body wants me to eat. I have to be very careful. But it's possible! I mean, moderation IS possible if you find what works for you. I think that's huge - I see so many people discouraged like chicken breasts and steamed broccoli are the rest of their life. But that's not true. You just have to find what works for you. ~Cheri
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Ya know, I'm not gonna tell you to go and breed. But I will say that I faced this head on and it was a huge challenge. Nobody teaches us how to be parents but our own parents. My childhood was so traumatic and abusive...and it was a storybook upbringing compared to my mother's childhood. I work on this. I think it's important to say (even if you never do have kids) that people CAN overcome this the same way they overcome food demons. I had to work at it and there are still days when my instinct is to react the way she did. Like the food - three years of a sleeve don't undo 20 years of shitty choices. Being a mom for six years sure as hell hasn't erased my childhood. But I do the three question check when I'm feeling bad about myself: 1) are my kids scared of me? NO 2) do they know I love them? YES 3) do I know they love me? YES - then we're all good. Because the fact that they tell me they love me and are willing to touch me means we're head and shoulders above where I grew up. Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done - doing it without f*cking my kids up has felt impossible at times but we're making it. I'd rather lose the weight a million times than parent a few more kids, though. I wasn't meant to be a mother. I'm doing a pretty good job at it (people tell me this; I'd never believe it otherwise) but it's work, not natural. So, I think that was somehow related to what you said...but like usual, I hijacked it and went off and wrote a damn novel. Misty, thank you for sharing. I agree so much with Lynda's post, too. Everyone here has some issue or we wouldn't be to the point where we consider/require surgery to get control of food. ------------ And on that other conversation, I have two things to add. Yeah, yeah, long post, whatever. One, for what it's worth, I do not consider pointing out that we're different or handle things differently is an us vs. them mentality. We're all different. While we may not understand each other entirely, we should embrace the fact that we're not the same. We don't all have to be the same in order to get along, or to respect one another. Two, it's not denial to relate your experiences and have them be different than some or even the majority here. I know why I was fat. I don't talk about it, but I know why I was fat. Part learned coping mechanisms as a kid and a very real fear that there wouldn't be food again tomorrow if I didn't eat it all today. And partly self-sabotage. Yes, you read that right. Self-sabotage. Because as much as I wanted to lose the weight and as much as I felt I'd be happier doing so, I did not (and sometimes still do not) feel I deserved that happiness. I fell off diets that were causing me no issues, simply because I could. For me, it was never a lack of control. It was always a choice. I have been punishing myself for years because I carry a load of guilt even bigger than my old fat self. Plain and simple; I sabotage myself because I feel guilty for the good things in my life. My eating has always been about hiding emotions or fulfilling a compulsion. If I indulged that desire to just ruin myself, I'd eat everything around me. It takes incredibly strict control to stay in line and stay so close to my goal weight. Losing? That's another story. My sleeve did one really tremendous thing for me. I'm pretty sure it's the thing that got me to goal and has kept me in the range. And that's the fact that it immediately got the diabetes under control. It's now so much easier to say no, even to those foods that trigger cravings, the ones I wanted to eat endlessly before. If I hadn't had that (and let's face it, the complete lack of hunger) the size of my sleeve wouldn't matter. I would have eaten around it and I would have stretched it as much as it would stretch. ~Cheri
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So, I haven't had time to read anything but this page so I may touch on things already mentioned. GG's response is very similar to mine. And most of my response is based upon my life now post sleeve, not prior. In my case, I truly believe that insulin resistance (and my earlier diabetes) as well as hormones (and insulin resistance plays into hormones as well) are the real reasons I had/have issues with food. I went back to ask my husband to see what he said about my past eating habits. And yes, if faced with exactly the right food (like pizza, or fries) I'd eat a very large quantity. And I would always feel hungry if I ate anything that was high glycemic - Pasta, potatoes, etc. I could eat to pain and still hear my stomach growling and feel like I was starving an hour later. That's the insulin resistance at work. So it was a cycle that I fed into with poor food choices. But outside of that I could go the entire day and not eat. I was the master of will power - for four month bursts at a time. I mean, I could starve and be okay. Once I fed the carb monster/poor insulin monster, I was caught in the trap. But outside of that I could walk from food and be fine. Resentful, maybe, but I could do it. I also had to break the clean plate club rules. That took work even post sleeve. I didn't WANT to eat. I felt compelled to eat. We suffered beatings for not eating our food as a kid and that definitely played into my compulsion to clean my plate. It was a mental game. And while I did have some food addiction signs (sneak eating, feeling angry when I couldn't eat, etc.) those were always, always tied into stress or a hormonal issue. So fast food, (fried carbs or greasy burgers, in particular) can still sing a siren's song when I'm stressed. But I am still in control of my desire to eat those foods. And again, it's so hard to explain but I don't even *want* those foods. I know they won't satisfy me or taste good. It's a mental thing, not a physical one. Even when I overindulged before surgery, it was never about enjoying food too much. Well, with few exceptions. I did enjoy cheesecake far more than the norm. But I never ate the whole pan of brownies. I never ate pints or half gallons of ice cream. I ate meat and potatoes and most of all, fried things or cheesy things. In any case, my real spur for surgery were the results of my metabolic testing. I'm the gal that did Medifast hard line - never cheated once - for four months. And lost a mere 20 pounds. The willpower was there but not for the long haul. I just could not lose weight. It happened so slowly I'd inevitably give up on my diet and go on a binge to make up for the deprivation. Even sleeved, I lost 107 pounds over 17 months. I lost at a ridiculously slow pace even consuming low calories and eating a rigid diet. I think it averages out to six pounds a month. Less than a pound a week. AFTER bariatric surgery. So that's why I have a sleeve. And if I keep my hormones in check, I'm the boss of food. But my issue is and has been that it doesn't matter because I have to fight incredibly hard to lose even a single pound. I've been losing these last ten baby pounds since APRIL - and I still have six to go. I hope that answers it. I'll have more time later to read what's here and tweak this response. ~Cheri
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GG, that's me, too - before and after surgery. My hubs (pretty fit, active duty military) thinks a pint of ice cream is a serving. I can eat off a pint of ice cream for two months, having just a tiny spoon a day. I always just tossed the crumbly chips at the bottom of the bag and my husband thought I was nuts wasting them. I was the one with the clean your plate club parents, too. We got beatings for not eating our meals, and weren't even allowed to make our own plates. We were served by our elders - massive portions even for adults - and punished for not eating every bite. Maybe THAT plays more into my ability to walk away from food. Maybe it's my rebellion. Who knows. I just can't relate to the needing to eat. I don't. I still go hours on end without eating and only realize I need to do it when I get lightheaded or my sleeve growls at me due to the acid roaring around in there! ~Cheri Edited to add: I actually CAN'T eat off a pint of ice cream any longer. Like I said earlier, rich dairy like that kills my tummy. I could probably eat off a pint of that So Delicious coconut ice cream though.
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Maybe. But I've only had that type of experience a handful of times. I just lost a huge amount of my interest in food. That doesn't mean I've never overdone it. I have. I had a more difficult time learning my sleeve's limitations than some because I enjoyed overeating and eating to pain prior to surgery. I also had a hard time because work obligations kept me out at dinner parties that lasted hours and I was expected to eat, eat, eat. That was tough. I've tossed up my last bite or two more times than I'd care to admit. In my case, when I overindulge or eat too much of something I shouldn't it's not because I felt I really wanted that food. In most cases, I'm STILL disinterested in food. When I binge or mindlessly eat, I do it because I feel compelled to do it. It's an ingrained habit, it's a completely unsatisfying act, it's not enjoyable at all. And it is 100% of the time related to stress or hormones. So yeah, I can still throw away more than half an uneaten cake. Not because I am worried about the negative effects of eating that cake, but because I don't care about that cake and don't need it around. The only feelings I used to feel about tossing food away were guilt for being wasteful, and even now that's fading. ~Cheri
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CGJ, yes, this resonates with me! In junior high they made us do weekly weigh ins in front of everyone. I was already my adult height of 5'1" and I had a beautiful figure - the figure of a grown woman - but every other girl was still developing! I remember being one of two girls that weighed over 100 pounds. A very large girl (who I felt incredibly sorry for, because it was clearly humiliating for her to do this) who was already morbidly obese and me, and I weighed in pretty consistently at 120 pounds. But I was a busty girl and wore a size 5 back before this vanity sizing got out of control. Oh, I felt so fat! I started dieting that year and it was all downhill from there. And I felt fat, and so I thought "WTH, I'm already fat" and I started eating through emotions that I'd previously worked through with long bike rides or running. I stopped being active...the whole thing was like this giant downhill slide. I have always been told how pretty I am and I've always really resented it. In the past I always heard it like "you have such a pretty face, but your body needs work" even when that wasn't the intent of the speaker. Well, by people that aren't related to me, I was complimented. I'm sure hearing how fat, useless and unattractive I was from family members that should have been supportive meant more to me than anything a stranger could say. So my entire view of my body and my attractiveness has been warped. I mean, I wouldn't even wear a short sleeved shirt in the Texas summer heat as a teen, because I felt that I was too fat to show that much of my body. Yeah...at a whopping 150 pounds or so. Definitely screwed up. And now I go back and forth beating myself up over just a few pounds. It's incredibly hard to appreciate how far I've come and how good I do look. I'm so focused on that scale, on the fact that my clothes don't fit the way they did before my baby, and on the fact that I really would like plastics to remove the loose skin. I absolutely cannot see ME in the mirror around all of this other nonsense flying around in my skull. People constantly compliment me, tell me how great I look for just having had a baby, tell me how losing weight took years off me and I don't look my age...but I see what? Six pounds, a few rolls of skin I despise and the handful of grey hairs on my head. It's disgusting, the way I've taken up the slack. I cut the abusers and manipulators out of my life, but I've taken up the job for them and can't seem to love and appreciate myself. I have a truly great husband. He tells me every day to be kinder to myself, he emphasizes how far I've come. I literally CANNOT see it some days unless I whip out the pictures. And I must be careful not to compare those pictures to how I feel I look right now. It's crazy. I must be crazy! I have lost more than 100 pounds from my start weight. If you count from my highest ever, I've lost 140 pounds. But I still struggle with accepting myself because of six measly pounds. Unreal. If only it were as simple as flipping a switch. By far, this has been the hardest part of the journey for me. Feeling my feelings, dealing with my perception of myself, being accepting of myself as a person, loving my body - those things, for me, are far more challenging than the food issues. It's these negative feelings about myself that sometimes push me towards the food! ~Cheri
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My stepkids come visit for the summer, and that drags the in-laws in as well. So I cook for an army all summer and yes, once a week is "clean out the fridge day" and they get to choose their leftovers and eat up the excess food. They almost never complain, but even if they did I wouldn't think this was cruel at all. My son was the pickiest eater in the world until just a few months ago. No pasta. Nothing with a sauce. Nothing mixed up like a casserole or soup or pot pie. He would only eat peas, carrots or cucumbers and fresh fruit. Oh, and bread. He'll eat bread all day and night. Many a night the kid ate toast or cheerios while the rest of us ate a real meal. He's only gained ten pounds in the last three years - he's skin and bones - but he's getting taller and the doctor says no worries. Just recently we emphasized trying new foods. We put it on his weekly chart and he had to try a new food each day. Hallelujah, it worked! The kid now eats a wider variety of foods. He's still picky but at least I know he's not starving. We don't do separate dinners in my house. If you don't eat dinner, you get toast or cereal. I'm mean, but they're not starving and I don't punish them for not eating so it works for me. I will say I'm guilty of assuming everyone can or should be able to walk away from food like I can. There are currently six dozen cookies on my counter cooling. Hubs is taking them into the office for someone's birthday. Zero temptation. To me, to the kids, to the hubs...nobody cares. These are yummy cookies, but nobody cares. With few exceptions, food is not a big deal around here. I'm even breaking my soda addiction! It's liberating. So when people say they can't throw things away or stop eating I get frustrated. Why? What's controlling you and forcing you to keep going? I don't understand it, and that makes me far less sympathetic about this, unfortunately. Oh, and Butter had gelato? I'm jealous. Not because I want gelato; I don't. Rather, because even if I did want gelato it would upset my tummy that still won't tolerate any of those rich dairy things. Instead of savoring the treat, I'd wind up with dumping syndrome. But I totally had a small soda and some popcorn at the theater the other day. It did NOT taste like turkey and cheese. But it was less than satisfying - the popcorn was too salty and the soda was too sweet. These are the times I have regrets. Not REAL regrets but sort of a sad look back at how much enjoyment I used to get out of food. Those splurges are less worthwhile to me. ~Cheri
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Terrified Of Eating Out!
clk replied to Disabledaccount's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
This passes, and more quickly than you think. I still enjoy eating our regularly. Sometimes I order my own small meal or soup, sometimes I share an entree with my husband or one of my kids and sometimes I just get an appetizer to eat from then share around. It's difficult when you're healing and on a very restricted diet but that's a very short while compared to the rest of your life. On the other hand, take time to enjoy the company and conversation. Socializing does not have to revolve around food - this was hard for me, because I didn't realize how many of our social rituals really DO center around food. But after a bit you'll find you're out for an evening with friends, enjoying their company and doing it without overindulging and focusing on food. Because it's now so inexpensive to dine out, we actually find ourselves doing it more often than before! ~Cheri -
Excellent post as usual, GG! ~Cheri
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Please stop and do the math. People get completely freaked out by what I feel are unreasonable expectations. They fly into a panic. They assume that the first time they don't lose on the scale that their loss is done. They think that two weeks at one weight is a massive stall. They look at other people's large losses and forget that we don't all lose at the same rate. First - if you did a pre-op diet you are not going to have the same loss your first month as someone who didn't do one. Your pre-op loss should get counted into your loss calculation if you did a pre-op diet. Second - a stall is three weeks or more at the same weight with no fluctuation. Are you panicked after that? Well, my friend coops once spent twenty one MONTHS at the same weight. She finally broke through and never regained during that time, and even lost two sizes while not budging on the scale. Is it the miracle cure you may have been hoping for on the scale? No. But stalls are not the end of the world. They are certainly more normal that flying to goal in six weeks, I promise you. Third - losing anything more than a pound a week is good. Are you eating less than ever before? Yes. Does that guarantee you'll lose faster than ever before? No. I had two nine week stalls - no movement except upwards for my monthly cycle. I had months where I lost but only in the tenths of a pound. It's not normal to expect a big loss every time you step on the scale. It's setting yourself up for disappointment. Fourth - your pattern is your pattern. You can compare yourself to other people sleeved the same day or with the same stats but it doesn't matter. So much of this is individual. So if you're constantly seeking out other people and comparing your losses to theirs, you are eventually going to discourage and frustrate yourself. Fifth - are you closing in on goal? We all lose even more slowly the less weight we have to lose. So if you only have sixty pounds to lose but shed thirty in your first three months, please don't be hysterical because you're "only" losing a pound a week now that you're past the halfway point. It's normal. Stop. Breathe. Do the math. Adjust your expectations. This is not a race. You do not get a special award for reaching goal more quickly. Your surgery was not pointless or worthless if you manage to get to goal in two years instead of six months. The real goal is not losing the weight. It's keeping the weight off. That's real success - that's what we're here to do. It does not matter if you hit goal in nine months or two years - the real challenge and the real journey begins with maintenance. How quickly or slowly you lost does nothing to change the challenges you'll encounter there. I am not ranting at anyone in particular. I just feel that this is an issue that comes up constantly and it's actually pretty silly for people to fly into such a panic without really thinking. I've seen folks upset when they're logging losses of upwards of four pounds a week. Point to the diet that helped you accomplish that and was easy to maintain prior to surgery. ~Cheri
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There is no rule of thumb. There's what works for you. And you could see ten different dietitians that could all give you different guidelines and still none of them might be what's idea for you. I spent fifteen years as a vegetarian so shifting into the Protein heavy diet was hard for me. I relied very heavily on dairy and Protein shakes in the beginning...and then I developed lactose intolerance and had to figure things out again. If you don't care much for meat (and your tastes may still change) there are other options. I love seitan. I love meat substitutes and tofu. I try to keep my substitutes to minimally processed ones, but I splurge now and again. Lentils are amazingly versatile. Quinoa is a complete protein. No, it's not as dense in protein as meat but it's a nice option if you like variety. And eggs. Let me sing my praises of eggs, because I eat at least one daily. I have so many egg recipes jamming up my cook book it's ridiculous. Is your weight really stalled? I realize the scale's not moving at the moment or you wouldn't have said that. But how far from surgery are you? Has your weight been constant for three weeks or more? If you're not getting adequate nutrition from a variety of sources, your body may be holding on to whatever you feed it for fear of famine. I don't buy in to the starvation mode myth, but I do know that our bodies are wired to survive. And your body has no idea what's going on if you feed it one day and starve it the next, or if you completely miss a necessary group of nutrients for a long period of time. Additionally, you might be sticking to hard and fast rules given by your nutritionist that simply don't work for your body. Maybe you need more or less calories, or more or less carbs than you've been instructed to consume. Tracking your intake and seeing your results (weight loss, mental health, feelings of satiety) after a few weeks on a particular diet is the only way to really know what you need. I needed a low, narrow range of calories to lose. But my carbs could be anywhere from 50-100 grams a day without any impact on my loss pattern. Figure out what works for you. Hit those protein and hydration goals you set for yourself. I simply DO NOT LOSE if I don't get adequate protein. Alex's book is a great resource and is definitely something you should read. But the trick here is to track and figure out your own individual needs. There isn't any one size fits all approach to this. ~Cheri
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Does The Thought Of Food Go Away ?
clk replied to luv2plumb's topic in Protein, Vitamins, and Supplements
For me the hunger went away but the love of food and cooking never did. I'm still a serious baker, I still entertain or cater events, I still make large meals for my family and friends. And I still love it as much as I ever did! But I don't need to eat it all anymore. With few exceptions, I don't really care that there's a large box of Cookies on the counter or that I have a cake on the table. I don't feel required to eat from every dish or to gorge myself simply because food is there and I enjoy it. But food still plays into my life and I still think about my meals. Depending on how early out you are (if you're in the early weeks it's more common) you might still be living a life that's food centered. The biggest thing that helps me is planning my day first thing. I record everything I intend to eat that day - all of my meals and Snacks at once. And then when I start to feel like it's time to eat, I grab my meal and eat. I no longer focus on what's next. It doesn't matter to me, because I already made a plan and I know what's coming. It helps me avoid peeking my head in the fridge between meals and it takes away that slim chance that I'll make a last minute choice to go after something less healthy. I'm in charge, not the food. I'm three years out and while food still controls me if I make poor choices and let it, I still don't feel hunger between meals unless I completely forget to eat for a huge block of time. That happens more often than it should! ~Cheri -
Controlling Your Weight Loss After You.have Been Sleeved Is It Possible?
clk replied to sleevinIT's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Oh Abby, you dear thing you made me laugh out loud. Okay, you're going to find that the number of people that have to actively combat losing weight by increasing calories are a minority. I mean...they're here, but they're really rare. Most folks? You'll see them crabbing and complaining that they're having a heck of a time losing the last stupid ten pounds. I had to buckle down and work hard for more than six months to lose those last pounds. I doubt you'll need to worry. Sadly, it's far easier to stop losing or to gain weight than it is to lose it once you hit a certain point. Indeed, focus on working on a diet that you can continue with in maintenance, so that you find it easier to stay at a constant weight once you've reached your goal. Good luck, ~Cheri -
Wander over to the food and nutrition board. http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/388-food-nutrition/ You're going to find hundreds of posts about Protein, recipes, and tips to increase your intake. I will say that if you haven't yet found a protein you like you need to keep looking. I know some people skip them entirely but your body will not heal as quickly and will scavenge your muscle if you don't eat adequate protein. A person that loses mostly fat looks different at goal than a person that's lost most of their muscle mass! ~Cheri
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Oh wow. So much of my identity is tied up in being the nurturer - and yes, that means the feeder. I'm the glue. I'm the one that makes the family happy and as much as I try NOT to make life about food, that definitely involves feeding. I see both sides of this. I don't expect my family to follow along completely because I made a life-altering decision. But then again, I'm not going to feed them in a way that puts them in the same obesity boat in ten years, you know? I have a responsibility - it's one I was shirking prior to my surgery, but it was still there. If I make it my duty or my role to feed the family, I should be doing what's best for them. Compromise worked for us. I shaved down the entire family's consumption of potatoes, Pasta, rice, etc. They eat far less of it than before BUT I make these things for them a few times a month. If I'm going to make something fried but can't/won't eat it myself, I make a small separate portion of that item for myself or I skip the fried food entirely. And my family has gotten used to eating meals where the focus is on Protein but there are a large variety of sides. I tend to make three or four different types of veggies or salads to go with the meal. Several nights a week there is no dedicated "carb" side. They adjusted. I found healthier ways to cook some of the foods they like. I found ways to make foods they like but I can't eat by adjusting how I do the meal - for instance, spaghetti with meat sauce is now with meatballs. Hubs hated meatballs before but knows I won't make pasta without them. They eat reasonable portions of the entire meal and I'll eat some salad and a few meatballs for my dinner. We don't all have to eat the same things. I also got more adventurous in the kitchen and some new family favorites are foods that they might have never tried before. And while there may have been plenty of grumbling in the early days, it's just the norm now. The kids will still skip a side dish if they don't like it, but that's fine. I make healthier meals for us. My husband has lost ten pounds. My kids have a real understanding of balanced eating and they're eating healthier, too. Positives all around, in my opinion. The hardest thing was to get used to leftovers. Dinner is no longer four b/s chicken breasts. It's two. And there's quite often leftovers. I pack lunches for the whole family, too, so leftovers get eaten up that way. But I had to really learn how to make less, and how to re-purpose my leftover food into new dishes so folks would eat them again. It's nice that the roasted chicken on a Friday night makes three or four meals, though. If your husband wanted surgery, too, it can only help him to reign in his eating with you and possibly lose weight alongside you. My kids might WANT Oreo Cookies and Twinkies. It doesn't matter what they want. My job is to make sure they don't wind up with diabetes in their twenties the way I did, and to do it in a way that doesn't shame them or give them issues about food. ~Cheri
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Aww, first big hugs to Cathy. That's tough. Hello Wanda, nice to have a name to pair with the face! Please don't feel like you don't belong here - it doesn't matter how much farther you have until goal. There are a number of folks here that never hit goal once and even some that are here to lose regains. You're right - the important thing is that we're struggling through the same stuff and trying to beat this weight. I enjoy the fact that your posts always end on a positive. GT, you have got to have some good days. You are long overdue for at least a handful of days with no issues! I hope you get to feeling better (and eating!) soon. Your diet protocol is challenging enough with your location, I'm sure, so it doesn't help to wind up so ill you can't even eat. I know OD sent you box, but if it turns out you need anything else let me know and I'll send it along. OD, Good luck! I like you profile and agree with Shelia's changes. Hopefully you'll meet someone you really enjoy spending time with, so you can get out and have some fun. CGJ, I'm glad you're able to look back at your relationship and see both the positives and negatives. Here's hoping the coming year is truly amazing for you. You've come so far. And while you see it as a drawback, I truly feel that so many people flounder in life and in relationships because they don't know themselves or what they want. You may find it more difficult to find someone you wish to connect with, but you're really just weeding out all of the ones that wouldn't suit beforehand. I didn't meet my husband until I'd decided on the five points I was absolutely set upon - those things I wouldn't compromise any longer. I went on a long string of first dates but I was tired of compromising and trying to make unsuitable partners work for me. In the end I found a partner I can live with...and one who can live with me. I wish you the very best. Thank you all for the birthday wishes. Now it's time to focus on the rest of my insane November. I can't wait until the second week of December! My holiday season will be OVER and I can finally relax. I'm up from my last weigh in but down from the last few days. I expect to shed the rest of my cycle gain by Wednesday and then I hope to log a loss for the week by Sunday. Fasting today. Nothing yet but plans for an ultra exciting (not) protein shake for breakfast in about an hour followed by protein, water, protein, water and more protein. Then probably some extra water for good measure! Take care ladies. Have a lovely Monday. I'm off to scour the boards in search of threads I can answer without causing fights. Ha! ~Cheri
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What People Will Say Now They Wouldn't Say Before
clk replied to thedivinemsQ's topic in WLS Veteran's Forum
Holy crap, Amy, you look great - haven't seen you around since you were newly sleeved! ~Cheri -
Sarsar, you look fabulous! Same to you, Sheila. And welcome back, Georgia, I hope you had a great time. I'm feeling way better. I had a totally me day yesterday. I had a short visit with a friend in the morning, did a light lunch and a movie with a gal pal in the afternoon and went out on a date with the husband last night. Whew! I did awesome even being out so much - had I skipped the pint with dinner (shared with hubs) I would have made a fast day. Crazy. Today is just relaxation all the way. I still have that nerve tingling but it improves every day. I am so grateful for that stupid trip to the E.R. I can't imagine how miserable people with the full deal get but it can't be pleasant. And baby Shevi is a naughty little troll - sleeping and napping like a champ on a day when daddy's home to help me out! I swear he thinks I make up how difficult and demanding she is during the week, because she's on her best behavior whenever he's home! Hope everyone is doing well. I skipped the scale this morning but will weigh in tomorrow. I expect to shed the cycle gain over the next few days and hopefully I'll log a small loss by the end of next week. Dysmorphia came up and even though it didn't apply to OD, I can see how it does come in to play when we've struggled with body image for years. I still feel fat and unsightly anytime I can't fit nicely into my clothes. It's ridiculous. I know that I'm not fat. And I don't even think I'm fat. But I can still FEEL that way sometimes. I love my baby but I absolutely HATE what having her did to my body. It's only a measly six pounds but the way I'm shaped now is totally different. It's so frustrating to cover ground I've already covered. Anyway, hope you gals enjoy the rest of your weekend. My in-laws are calling to wish me a Happy Birthday. Which it is! The kids and my husband got me some really great, really thoughtful gifts. I'm so blessed! ~Cheri
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Plus, they're long. So if you track how many books you read in a year (doesn't everyone? I do that, don't mock me) you can probably count reading my posts for six weeks as a book. ~Cheri
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6 Mths Later And Hit A Plateo, Is This Common?
clk replied to kim0079's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Look, I know you don't want to hear this but there is no magical diet cure. I'm not attacking you. I'm just attacking the idea that somewhere there's a one size fits all approach to losing weight. There isn't, or we'd all do Weight Watchers, fly to goal and be skinny little princesses forever. Eat the number of carbs that keeps you feeling satisfied, doesn't make you feel deprived, doesn't slow down your Protein intake but also doesn't hinder your loss. I kept it to 50 or under but lost at the same pace when I upped it to 70 and kept on losing at that same pace once I increased it to 100 grams a day. It's so individual it's crazy. If you're still doing the fresh out of the gate protein only, no carbs, very low calories thing - shake it up. Record what you do so you see how your body reacts. But sometimes increasing carbs and calories is the way to go. And sometimes? We hit a stall or a plateau because our body needs time to adjust. I had two nine weekers on my long trek to goal. It happens. It stinks, but it happens. ~Cheri -
And Laura, that SGT best have had a good reason for being late. We ain't on Air Force time in the Army, ya know...
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I know, I don't want to bash or get nasty (cause they'll just copy and paste our link the way we did theirs) but the whole reversible thing gets me. It's like the people with any WLS that think fat is their only issue. Oh yeah, I eat too much so if I eat less I'll be skinny and if I'm skinny I'll be happy. Excuse me while I laugh my tush off. Cause really, that's just plain delusional. And we see it ALL THE TIME, even here with sleeves. No. You are likely not only fat because you eat two helpings of mashed potatoes. You are here, considering a drastic surgery after many failed diet attempts because you have disordered eating, poor habits and possibly food addiction. And that's not considering whatever issues you might just be hiding under food and fat that started you on the path to disordered eating in the first place! Being skinny makes a person happier but it does not make a person happy. There is a difference, one many fail to realize. A reversible surgery? I've seen what happens to people that unfill for whatever reason. They pack it on. Why? The WLS you choose is only a TOOL and it only works if you USE IT. You can eat around anything. If you're essentially dieting yourself to skinny, you darn sure better have a plan on how to stay there. I don't need reversible. Easily done away with diets are things like Medifast, Optifast, Weight Watchers and Nutrisystem - things I dumped thousands of dollars into prior to finally breaking down and admitting to myself I needed some type of WLS. Maybe I'm just a "bad patient" but seriously, my sleeve is a great permanent reminder that I like cheesecake a little too much and that more than 2 cups of popcorn is bad. Because I have more than 20 years of disordered eating behind me. Three years with a sleeve sure as hell didn't replace that, no matter how many good habits I've picked up and tried to enforce during that time! ~Cheri
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How Long Did You Think About It Before You Decided?
clk replied to mimiski's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I was set on the band. It was recommended to me a year before I started researching it. I did six months of research and lurking on the LBT site before realizing a ton of folks were revising to sleeves. I researched the sleeve and was completely opposed to such a drastic surgery at first. But after seeing the misery of a huge number of band folks and also after reading testimonies on VST by people that revised and were anti-band, I chose to research the sleeve. I did research and lurked here for A YEAR before deciding on my surgery. I was self pay and wanted to be 100% sure. Almost nobody else does this. I swear, I take things to extremes. The plus to my lengthy research time is that the only thing I was blindsided by was lactose intolerance. Beyond that, I had reasonable expectations for the most part. I'd continue to research. I'd read every positive and negative outcome you can. Especially read about people with regrets and people with complications! Make a plan and start thinking about what hurdles you'll need to overcome to have long term success with a sleeve. Once you know what to expect and once you have a reasonable plan in place, go for it. And if that only takes a short period of time, so be it. The issue a lot of people have is that they really feel like things will move quickly because they're in a rush once they have surgery. Or they feel like the sleeve is going to solve all their problems - that the only thing they have going on is obesity, and so being thin is going to make it all easier. That's not always the case. So come prepared and you can avoid that disappointment and frustration. ~Cheri