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Hey folks. I hope GT is doing alright - though it's not terribly surprising to see her offline if she's going to be in Landstuhl. Fasted Monday and Wednesday. Doing okay. Down a teeny bit on the scale. Now I'm at 142...slowly shedding those blasted pounds I packed on overnight three weeks ago. Just a few more pounds to get back to where I was, though, so I guess I'm managing. On the plus side, the pain is much more bearable - the hormones are working and doing what they're supposed to do. They just also make me snacky, hormonal (of course) and pack on pounds. They also make it much harder to shed weight, and I don't exactly lose quickly to start. I feel frustrated but I suppose I'll eventually see goal again. Some day. Maybe. I hope. Baby has terrible reflux - we've been trying to treat without meds but it's finally time to try those. Every other remedy is helping a little but she's still doing the cough/choke thing at night and still erupting in a fountain of acid spit up at least once a day. Poor thing. It's affecting her sleep (and therefore, my sleep) and she's just not the happy little toad she was a few weeks ago. I can't believe how big she is already - six month checkup in two weeks. Hope everyone is doing well. My official fast days for the week are done. Hubs will fast on Friday from sundown to Saturday sundown (Yom Kippur) but I'm not sure I'll join him. I'm not as, well, observant as he is, but then, I figure he won't be home anyway (services are long and many for the holiday) so I might as well fast. We'll see. ~Cheri

Um, and hello, Georgia, GOAL? Congrats, lady!!! ~Cheri

Thanks for the kind words ladies! Okay, I am much relieved that without my saying a word every other bridesmaid chimed in and poo-poohed the first dress. Hallelujah! It was truly a terror. Not even slightly classy, too short, too tight, too revealing...and way too bling. We're between these three now, all much nicer choices. Though I'm still not digging the color scheme. Oh well, it's not my wedding! One: http://www.renttheru...hsweetheartgown Two: http://www.renttheru...dglitteratigown Three: http://www.renttheru.../crystalpopgown I'm a fan of two, but I think the other gals are leaning towards three with the bride leaning towards one. Truly, I never realized weddings really ARE about making the bridesmaids look crazy so the bride will shine. I'm such a classic girl, really. If Joel and I had done a military wedding I would have had gowns in red to compliment the officers in their dress blues! But alas, I'm not in control of the world, and shall wear my sparkly gold or champagne gown with grace and truly be happy for my friend who deserves this wonderful and beautiful day to be exactly the way she wants it. ~Cheri

Feel better, Globe - enjoy your stay in Landstuhl - it's not bad at all. Hubs had surgery there once and it was fine. Just a quick stop at the convenience and gift stores there will make you feel like you're in wonderland before you go back. You can stock up, too! Sorry to hear about your dad, FYE and I hope you find great support on the other 5:2 forum, too! Let us know if you read any great tips over there and think they'll help! Weight is still way, way up. No real clue why except hormones. I'm at 146 and seem pretty well stuck here. No loss lately, despite keeping track of my calories. I'm in my "shoulda been a period" part of my cycle so perhaps (perhaps!) I will lose about three pounds in a few days? So, I gained those five ugly pounds as soon as I started my new regimen and then a few bonus pounds when I would have had my cycle. Lovely! I can't blame 5:2 for that, though. If only there were a miracle cure for my hormones. My clothes don't fit and I'm incredibly sad. To top it off a dear friend is getting married next August and I'm in the party... ...Seriously - a strapless gold lame number that would really only flatter a nineteen year old with a perfect body. I'm incredibly anxious about wearing the dang thing and I can't imagine it flattering me AT ALL. I guess that means I have more "gotta lose this weight" stress to battle now. La de dah. What a joy this is turning out to be. I'm off. Gotta grab the twins from early release Monday and we're in the middle of a lovely tug-o-war with ex-wife over the kids - she kicked my 17 year old stepson out today because he's applied for a ROTC scholarship and she doesn't approve. Nothing but good times! ~Cheri

Ah, the difac. You know, we were so hungry for American food when living in Bishkek that a trip to the difac for heat lamp hamburgers or a salad (with iceberg or romaine, hard to find in Bishkek) was a huge treat for the family. We did it about once a month. Plus, the deployed guys and gals loved seeing our twins run around - they miss their own families and seeing our family there was nice for them. I'm in the land of the weird. Hubs got the call that he is now NOT going to Liberia. He's on hold for some other, as yet unnamed, mission. We shall see what happens. At the very least, I'm relieved that we've once again earned a reprieve and will have a few more months of him home. This is kind of an odd turn as he was already on orders. It's not typical to have a guy not go when everything is in order and he's volunteered. I didn't even weigh today but I am fasting. Nothing to eat as yet but I'll start with a Protein coffee in about an hour. I have my day planned and it should be fine. There is no way I can fast tomorrow night (Shabbat dinner during Rosh Hashanah? Hardly!) or Saturday so there you go. I think I need new clothes. I dressed differently in Bishkek (had more professional duties, did some catering and what not) and now I'm a SAHM and really feel too dressed most days. Uncomfortable, too! I think I'll be splurging on some more comfortable, everyday wear clothes soon. I'm actually really looking forward to sweater weather, but it's still high eighties here! GT, PM me your address and I'll get you some Clorox wipes and Kleenex ASAP. Do you have mail privileges with an APO address? Our contractors in Bishkek had limited privileges so I'm not sure what you have. We had both dip pouch and APO there, due to Manas. Anyway, if you go under dip, I'm in VA and it'll get there very quickly. APO will take a few extra days to get to NY first. Either way, I'll send Priority to make the stateside time faster. As for meals, I have zero ideas about boil bags/meals with low sodium (wouldn't I need a magic wand for that?) but if you know some brands off the top of your head I'll find what I can and mail things out by Saturday. I admit to huge gaps in my knowledge of processed food. Want some packages of tuna and/or some flavor drops for Water? Those are my processed food standbys. Everyone enjoy the rest of your week. I'm in need of a nap. I'm operating on just a handful of hours of sleep a night and need to nap when this baby does. Surprisingly, it's my five year old daughter keeping me up at night - anxiety about her dad deploying (which will hopefully fade soon) and the new school experience have her up multiple times a night with nightmares. The kid woke me up at three this morning (for the third time since one!) to ask about birthdays and school...WTH? This kid clearly takes after me and needs to know exactly what to expect or she's a wound up little ball of stress. Poor thing! ~Cheri

This is tremendous for me. I am slowly coming to the realization that I traded the fat (and the diabetes, blood pressure, ticking time bomb) for loose skin and I'll eventually trade the loose skin for plastic surgery scars (and a heap of pain as well as a massive sum of money)...but I don't ever get to be that genetically "perfect" woman that never battled obesity and has a body to envy. I'm not her. And I understand that. But it doesn't stop me from looking in the mirror sometimes or judging the way my clothes fit by the standard this idealized perfection has set in my mind. I do not feel thin. I do not feel skinny. I know I am not fit or athletic and I know that nobody looks at me and wishes they looked like me. I can say "I am small." But I only feel it's true because that's what the label in my clothes says, not because I feel I'm really, actually small. This isn't to say I am unaware of my progress or that I feel I'm a failure. But I do not see what my husband or my friends see when I look in the mirror. My husband's fear is that I will eventually have my plastics and STILL be unhappy. What next? My hair, my scars, what? What would I feel the need to improve upon after I reach that point? In some ways, I can absolutely see his point. I'm still struggling (sometimes) with the lack of "insta happy" that I really expected to have once I reached goal. Certainly struggling to reach goal again post pregnancy is NOT helping me! Nor is a lack of sleep, or a deploying husband, or a recent move away from most of my friends, yada yada yada. If I felt better all around maybe it wouldn't bother me as much. But I never had a point where I was able to see the person that other people describe to me, and often even now, I don't believe I'm smaller until I see it in a picture. And even then? The first thing I do is dissect all of the things I'm unhappy about in the photo. Oh, look, my thighs are big and oh look, my arms are flabby and oh look, I have a tiny flaw there...yeah, dysmorphia? It's an issue for some of us. ~Cheri

It is so challenging to stay upbeat about these things with the military interventions we started over the last ten years...I read in more detail what happened and I'm very sorry to hear about the violence in that region. The media here is really quiet about these things, as you know, especially compared to seven years ago when it was all you heard about each day (OT but somehow America forgot to continue protesting the war/interventions once the President changed) so it's easy to miss these things now. I get bombarded on my FB all day by people totally unaffiliated with the military or our DOD contractors that have ZERO idea of what we do and how we accomplish it and their uninformed opinions about how we can best solve all the ills of the Middle East. It makes me angry and sick even though they're simply regurgitating what their news source of choice tells them to think. My husband is in security cooperation right now - we just spent two years in Bishkek (Manas is the transit point for all troops into Afghanistan right now) and it's amazing how little voters really know about what we do, how we do it and why we do it. Hell, even the people doing the jobs don't know sometimes! I've got a husband that was tapped to go to Afghanistan and by the luck of the assignment guy's random dart throw he's going to Liberia instead. I wish people understood the position the military and contractors are in nowadays. I keep hearing "you know what you signed up for, just get out." Well, if he was a civvie and had a chance to, oh, take some of that pension with him to a new job, sure. But his job field is narrow - his only civilian options are in the same darn field doing the same things as a contractor. What, are we supposed to say, "this is a different world/Army than we signed up for in 1989" and walk away from more than a dozen years towards retirement, especially now that my husband is too old to accrue a civilian retirement? People/politicians/big military all forget that we are people - we have mortgages, we have a family, we have lives and we have been counting on military retirement and can't just walk away from our job because our principles might lead us elsewhere today. They have no idea - we're just as stuck and we do the job we're told to do whether we like it or not to the best of our abilities. We didn't exactly sign the dotted line post 9/11 because we wanted to go kill bad guys. Forgive my OT ramble today. I'm having a hard time staying positive today and ventured into politics when I shouldn't. We have a friend that was on a hugely successful career path that was just sent home with injuries that will probably force him out shortly. Oh, did a fast on Monday and plan to fast tomorrow again. Up to my high on the scale again and not really sure there's a good reason why. Calories are okay, fasts have been going well. Up to 146 - a huge jump from last weigh in. Stress, maybe. Stay safe, GT. ~Cheri

I missed it, too! I would have known exactly what you meant if I'd seen FOB in the initial post but also assumed PRT meant something with your health issues. Sorry to miss it - and sorry to hear you guys are on alert and wearing armor. Stay safe out there! Do you need another care package sent your way? I'm happy to mail along a few things if you let me know a list of what you need - PM me details if you'd like! ~Cheri

As you can see you're going to get as many answers as there are surgeons advising patients. There is nothing you cannot eat for the long run. The advice about carbonation? Varies by surgeon. The advice about carbs, bread, etc.? Varies by surgeon. The only real solid rules you'll see? Alcohol should be avoided for at least six months. However, many drink before that and are fine. Foods that cause some people discomfort and that you might want to avoid? Spinach, or any greens, for at least a few months. eggs are iffy - some people do great, some people have problems. Beef is very hard for some people. It took me nearly a year to be able to eat more than a few bites. Some folks have trouble with chicken, too. Definitely popcorn, at least until you're well into the healed phase. The hulls are dangerous around the staple line and it takes longer for that to fully heal than you might realize. I couldn't eat lettuce, particularly iceberg, for more than a year without problems. Foods I still eat in very small portions, and only once in a while (I'm 3 years out): Flour tortillas (I avoid them altogether, they hurt me) Rice (one or two bites and I can be fine, or one or two bites and I'm in pain and I never know which it will be) Pasta (I might eat a bite here or there but it swells like rice) There is a line to walk. Moderation and being "normal", feeling like you can eat without depriving yourself, is important. But there are clearly foods that you should not be incorporating into your diet as a normal or regular habit until you're much closer to goal. Just because you find you can drink soda and eat popcorn (my particular set of trigger foods, and oh, does it slide) does not mean you should engage in that behavior regularly. That's the line - and losing weight is far easier than you realize. Walking that line for the rest of your life, eating so that you feel normal without going out of control? That's the hard part. So incorporate what you need to later on, but be cautious about forgetting what made you obese in the first place. ~Cheri

Amazing post! I have nothing to contribute because I don't panic about stalls, I just get mad that they're happening. When they do happen, I read the link Butter shared. Or I hunt down the ones PdxMan shared oh so long ago. I miss him. Sound voice of reason in the face of stalls - Fiddle and Butter have picked up and tried to be the answer to the "why" behind a lot of what we experience but I still miss that guy's posts! In any case, every single newly sleeved person should read this post. ~Cheri

I always wooshed after my cycle, too. Up three or four pounds (after sitting still the rest of the month, usually!) but a big drop right in the last week to ten days of the month was my norm. I usually lost all my weight for the month in the last week or so. It is a lot easier without the hunger. I still don't have hunger. But I do still have disordered eating habits inside me, that only need a little stress, upheaval or upset as an excuse to come out and cause me problems! I think that in the loss phase (which was 17 months for me) it's really easy to rely on the lack of hunger to help you make those choices and stay on track. As you get a bit farther out, it does fall more squarely on you. More specifically on your head and on how you relate to food. It's still sometimes a challenge for me. And what makes it harder is knowing that for six days running food is something I don't particularly care about and can walk away from at any time. It's easy on those days. But give me a really hard day - give me bad news and bad emotions and plenty of stress...and those choices become much harder to make. And head hunger still feels like hunger - no, not physically. But that nagging and never ending desire to just eat and eat can still show up! I'm not here to share horror stories or scare anyone. I think that being a slow loser really helped me do as much of the head work as possible. Achieving goal and maintaining it before my baby helped me realize I can succeed and that it's possible. But staying in that "need to lose a few mindset" after any type of regain (even one for a baby, like my piddly five pounds I can't lose) is hard sometimes. And it gets HARDER the farther out you get. Accepting that I will never be able to just eat what I want without being accountable no matter when I get back to goal and no matter how easy it is to stay there is important. I have to stay on top of things, because even now it's still far too easy to mindlessly eat or to fall back on old habits of using food to cope. I know that for me, at least, losing incredibly quickly would have left me floundering once I was in maintenance. And oh, now? I would have given up already if I truly expected to lose the weight from my pregnancy overnight. I've been battling close to fifteen pounds for more than five months! And I still have five of them to go! ~Cheri Not sure if I even had a point when I started. I guess that it might have been that this is challenging in the long run no matter what. But at least my slow loss allowed me to learn some new coping skills and new habits before I got to maintenance.

Mug cakes! Ha, they were the only dessert (until they came out with those mint chocolate bars) I would eat on Nutrisystem. So, on that same chart, here's what comes up for my weight range: Based on the Robinson formula (1983), your ideal weight is 111.8 lbs Based on the Miller formula (1983), your ideal weight is 120.1 lbs Based on the Devine formula (1974), your ideal weight is 105.4 lbs Based on the Hamwi formula (1964), your ideal weight is 105.2 lbs Based on the healthy BMI recommendation, your recommended weight is 97.9 lbs - 132.3 lbs Finally back to 140 and I appear to be staying there. We'll see if once my hormones shift the rest of it falls off, too. The bc will stop my cycle (that's one of the biggest parts of controlling endo) but will cause really wacky hormones for about a week. I won't be surprised if I suddenly pack on a few pounds as my body deals and gets used to this again. But in a week or two, things should be "new normal" and hopefully the other pounds will fall off and I'll be back at 137 again! And seeing those numbers, it's unsurprising my doc wants me squarely in the 120s, and she did say that doing it now will be much better because she would like to see me well within my normal, healthy range before I hit forty and it gets harder to lose. Is it harder to lose after forty? Everything I hear people say seems to indicate that's true but I think a great many of our female sleevers are over forty before surgery. Hope everyone is well today. Fasting yesterday was hard - I should never try to do it on a Friday but I managed and squeaked in at 580 calories. Enjoy the weekend, ladies. I have nine weekend with hubs before he goes and this is the last one before the twins start school on Tuesday. Hubs has a four day, hooray! It'll be nice to hunker down as a family and enjoy each other for several days. The kids have already had us up playing board games and it's only 8:30 in the morning! ~Cheri

Georgia, a special shout out hoping you feel better today! ~Cheri

Okay ladies, I'm back on the wagon (kinda). I was shooting for a fast day but will likely miss it - I forgot I was going to fast and ate half a WW English muffin (homemade!) with Breakfast. That'll put me over for calories a bit but otherwise I'm on my usual fast day routine. Just started a bit earlier and with different foods. Eh. I went to bed last night before eight and didn't eat after five, so I'm probably close enough to my usual fasting gap, anyway! I have to share (and chuckle to myself) as hubs has put on a few pounds since we've gotten back to the states. I blame it on crappy food here. Nothing tastes the same, quite honestly. I miss abundant produce markets with inexpensive fruits and veggies! In any case, he got the "your BMI is a little high" talk today for the first time ever. The man weighs 160 pounds but is usually right around 150-155 (he's 5'7") and yeah...was told he should shed a few. I think our doctors talk to each other because mine is the same way! I see what you gals are all saying about 140 pounds and I'm thinking I'm probably the shortest gal here? At only 5'1" my doc wants me squarely in the 120s as my MAX weight. I'm currently popping back and forth over the 140 line (I was down to 137 before starting my new bc, thanks doc!) and am uncertain I'll ever see 135 pounds again. Had an interesting in person meetup last weekend. Realized that the disparity between starting weights and our heights causes some people to be dismissive of other people. Had a gal kinda roll her eyes at my start weight because her goal weight is about sixty pounds smaller. Difference in height? She's more than nine inches taller than me! It made me realize that the whole ticker/goal weight thing is misleading if your weight isn't attached to a height for perspective. This is a gal that would look emaciated at 140 pounds if she ever got there, so not only does my current weight sound ridiculously low to her, the idea that I should shed another ten pounds makes her perhaps a bit more dismissive of my situation than she might be if the number didn't sound comical to her. Eh, just an interesting thing. Hubs will leave in nine weeks. I'm hugely grateful that we got a heads up even a few months ago. I have had quite some time to get used to the idea. It's easier, too, because he won't be going into Afghanistan but rather on a UN Peacekeeping mission in Africa. About a billion times safer, even if he has to go for twelve months as opposed to nine. And of course, one of the side effects of him being gone is that I always lose weight. Always. I hardly cook scheduled meals (between the twins and myself we eat about half as much as a normal person!) and I almost never bake anything besides sandwich bread for the kids. Without an office to dump extra food on, I won't be baking. I also forget to eat when he's gone, and with my kids off to school next week I will have to remember to eat something myself when the baby eats. I also have those extra hours to fill and usually fill at least some of them with exercise, something I'm far less likely to do when he's home with me. Hope everyone's doing okay. I have about a billion checklists to work through and things to buy/sort before he leaves and need to get started. ~Cheri

Some docs will prescribe meds as a matter of course and as mentioned there are natural remedies purported to help. I'm three years out and still have my gallbladder and have had no issues. I imagine if you already had gallbladder problems before surgery that you'll have them afterward, as well. I do think pace has a lot to do with it and I see less sleevers with gallbladder issues than, say, RNY patients. I lost at a slow pace over 17 months and never had an issue. ~Cheri

I wanted to start prior to one year, too. There's an old post somewhere on these forums from 2011, I'm sure! We had to use fertility treatments and I wanted as big a head start as possible. I was also cautioned to wait and I'm incredibly thankful I did. I got pregnant right before my two year anniversary and I still had a challenging time. My restriction is the same as it was around a year out - meaning my meals are still incredibly small. I had huge problems with acid, food aversions and nutritional deficiencies, too! My daughter is now five months old and I'm still battling those deficiencies and trying to get back to normal. It's entirely possible to have a happy and healthy pregnancy before one year out. But unless you are 100% certain that your fertility is compromised with an issue such as poor egg quality, which puts you on a timeline, I'd wait. At least until one year out to start TTC. Good luck! It'll be here before you know it and you still have a while to ingrain those habits before pregnancy. The transition from maintenance (which was easy for me) to gaining weight (even though I was sick all the time and couldn't eat for months!) and back into loss again is the hardest thing I've encountered so far and I'm three years out. The more you learn your limitations and adjust beforehand, the better. ~Cheri

Yes, not to sound snarky but you already knew the answer to kick starting your loss again before posting! Saying things like "My eating habits aren't the greatest" indicates you know that you could be doing better. As suggested, tracking is the best way to start, and adjusting your diet back to where you were losing should do the trick. The closer we get to goal the slower the process and the less returns we see on the scale for our hard work. Complacency sets in because you have achieved a lot and look and feel completely different. And of course, while your eating habits might not be the best, they aren't as bad as prior to surgery. So it's easy to fall into a routine and just let it slide. But staying diligent is part of long term maintenance. You don't have to achieve goal to be a success, but staying very diligent to avoid a regain is absolutely imperative. Good luck. I hit a wall around a year out, myself, and it took me another five months of plugging away to finally hit goal. ~Cheri

I'd say that I agree - you're too soon out to really know your pace. Your body is still recovering. And if you did a preop diet? You can expect slower loss in the first month and an earlier pause (I hesitate to say stall; they last three weeks or longer) than if you didn't do one. I consider a slow loser anyone who loses at the pace of a typical, non WLS patient. So, 1-2 pounds a week. Many experience at least 5 a week until they get to the end, where everyone slows. I lost, on average, just over six pounds a month. Less than two pounds a week, with two nine week stalls in there and several weeks towards the end where I logged losses in the tenths of a pound. ~Cheri

The issue wasn't drinking the liquid - it was keeping it down without dumping syndrome! I had to do it, though - I developed gestational diabetes with my twin pregnancy and they were concerned I'd have it again. The first time I did the whole small bottle and immediately threw up and had erm...intestinal distress. I felt miserable for the entire day and the next one, too! The repeat test they had me do a small measured cup of the glucola - I sipped it (and they gave me an extra 10 minutes to get it all in and that helped) and then they had me lie down for the duration of the test. I dozed off and on. It still wasn't fun but I didn't get sick the second time. And all my numbers came back better than average, so no diabetes, either! ~Cheri

Sorry! I just popped in for the first time in a few days. Hubs got his deployment orders; all is busy, busy, busy around here - as if we were just lazy bored slugs BEFORE this nonsense! I have not fasted all week. Still ticked about the weight jump from the hormones but it seems to be slowly shedding. hair loss has slowed. Related to hormones, maybe? Or perhaps it's just run itself out. Who knows. TONS of new growth - little spiky baby hairs all around my forehead. Got a trim and opted for some heavy bangs. Super cute for oh, about 36 hours. Now they're just annoying. Everyone swears they took a few years off, though, so there's that. Keeping the calories between 1,000-1,200 for the mo but definitely need to get my tuchus back on track. Seriously, if I can't keep it together in times of stress, I can expect to regain in the long run. It's easy to stay on track when life is a joy and a pleasure. When it's one nightmare thing after another? Well, that's when I need more structure. At least I'm not going totally offline - and I did log a pound loss from that stupid five pound gain, so that's something. I just haven't been home enough for fast days to be easy or convenient. I'm relying heavily on shakes lately - three a day some days. New supplements seem to be helping a little bit. I have a bit more energy and feel less dead to the world all day long, but I'm still a ways from normal. Ha! Normal. What's normal, anyway? Sounds like everyone is having their own challenges and things, too. I'll comment in detail later today. Today is kindergarten open house and supply drop off, so I have to feed the kids and get them ready to go. Hubs is at the audiologist for a hearing aid, of all things. I swear that man hit forty and started to fall apart. It's a side effect of those years he spent as an artilleryman! In any case, I'm thankful we're stateside before his deployment so he can get these health things done. He's had non stop appointments since May for about a dozen different issues. Hope everyone is doing alright. I'll respond to more stuff later. I tend to stay more accountable when I'm here every day, so I need to be sure I don't skip VST all the time. I'm just busy! ~Cheri

No time, off to our first in-person D.C. area meetup, but I wanted to say that I went back and read the posts from before my gripe and WOW we're all having a rough time right now! Big hugs all around to everyone that needs one today. I'm the vet in this local group - the ONLY vet - the only other sleeved people in it have been sleeved less than six months and I'm feeling very...I dunno. Frustrated? Disheartened? I don't know. Maybe pressured, even though that's too strong a word. I know these women (it's all ladies so far) are going to be looking to me for advice on keeping it together and staying positive and blah blah blah, you know, all that stuff we have to do to make it the long haul. And right now all I feel is disheartened and like I just don't have much to offer or give in the way of support. I know it's silly. I KNOW THAT. I'm not diminishing my frustration because that's a totally valid way to feel. But it is silly. I'm in a small. I'm pounds away from goal, less than ten of them. I know that. I know I'm being too strict and too demanding but I really want to be a success and I feel like I'm falling short. More upsetting, I feel like this is out of my hands! Like I just have to stay the course and I may or may not ever reach that point again. I just feel very disappointed. Like I just can't be totally happy with less than this expectation I've set for myself. And I know that in part, it's kind of ridiculous. So I'm just going circles with myself today feeling bad and now I have to run out and be a cheerleader and bleh. It just sounds exhausting. Here's hoping we get a great group of gals out today, have a decent late lunch/early dinner (Seasons 52 is usually okay, for a chain) and that in helping other people with their struggles I can somehow feel less burdened by my own. Again, hugs!! I am so sorry for the injuries, the parents that need help, the kids that aren't being agreeable, the traveling husbands...yuck. Just yuck! ~Cheri

I have to take omeprazole on fast days. I know it's acid because by evening it's coming up my throat! Maybe you need to do the same? ~Cheri

Motherlovin' dang stupid ridiculous garbage I'm so stinking mad all I want to do is cuss and cuss and cuss. Got on the scale this morning, just about 36 hours after starting my new stupid birth control regimen that isn't going to work (we've tried it before) but the doc insists it will improve my life dramatically and eliminate the endo pain...and yeah, up FIVE damn pounds. I know they're not "REAL" pounds but that doesn't mean a frickin thing if they don't go away. I knew this would happen, it happens every time they change the pain management for me and I keep telling them if they'd just do another stupid lap and clean out the lesions and adhesions I'd be fine, but OH NO we're the government and have to save a buck (ya know, so they can spend it elsewhere deploying my husband) so that's clearly not an option. I am so aggravated and mad and I wish I had the time, energy or patience to go back and see what everyone wrote but I have to get my kids to the PTA sponsored playdate in thirty minutes so I'm outta here. I hope my mood improves but that's utter B.S., to step on the scale after seeing 137 yesterday and be right freaking back at 142 today, where I've been fighting that pound for the last month. DANG IT. ~Cheri

Well, I'm screwed. My brain doesn't always tell me to eat but my body doesn't want me to eat junk food or overeat - that's all on my thinker. If it's busted, well, crap. I have to wonder, though, if this is a bigger issue to do more with wiring than habit. My kids come to mind. My daughter? Heavily influenced by any discussion, pictures, books, etc. that include food. If she sees or hears about food she's "hungry" even if she's just had a snack. My son? Hardly ever hungry and his response to food does seem totally different. Maybe he's wired different. If he sees a food commercial or smells food while we're out he can separate appreciating that from wanting/needing it, where my daughter (yes, she's also obese) has a harder time doing that. He'll say, "Yum, pizza smells good. We should eat pizza next time we're out." She'll say, "Yum, pizza, I'm hungry!" My kids don't have crappy eating habits. They're five going on six and don't even remember fat Mommy or fat Mommy's food binges and crappy food isn't part of our lives. Seriously, we go out to eat like once a month and they might get fast food once every six to eight weeks! They can also walk away from Cookies and cakes and freshly baked goodies like they're nothing and ask for Greek yogurt instead. But the hunger thing seems to be the real difference - also, what the hunger is FOR. She always wants carby crappy stuff if she's swept up by the idea of food. If she's just having a normal day? Fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc. - very healthy choices all around. Things to ponder. Thanks for that, Laura. ~Cheri

To me that new hunger is the empty feeling. That's all I get. Unless I have too much acid, no tummy rumbles. No "oh, it's a certain time of the day, must eat." It's just that empty feeling that reminds me I should probably put something in my stomach. Usually hours after I should have eaten, and after I'm already lightheaded or have shaky hands! Now, head hunger? That can feel like hunger but it's not. There's nothing physical about it and it's purely in my head. But when I'm hit by it my mind doesn't care if it's real hunger or not because the desire to eat for whatever reason can be completely overwhelming. ~Cheri