Zoe

Not having met the notorious Erin, I'm inclined to agree with Audrey, which is why I suggested that she might be asking you and others to join her, to make eating an "acceptable social occasion." Food is maybe one of her few pleasures. She's trying to find a way to indulge herself without embarrassment, and maybe she sees food as a way to make new friends, especially if she doesn't think she has much else to offer. In the end, it doesn't matter if she's maliciously sabotaging your success, looking for a partner in crime, or just plain clueless. You've taken the important step (many times, from the sound of it!) of telling her to back off. Let's see what the next two weeks bring.

Quakergirl, I don't remember seeing your name before, but you are an impressive member of the -100+ club! Congratulations! How low do you hope to go? Do you have any advice for those of us who are in the early stages of banding? Please forgive (and ignore) me if you have already answered these questions elsewhere.

Hey, Greg, did you meet Lisa/DeLarla? Tell all! And don't worry, you won't be the only one with bad scale news on Monday.

I have to admit I feel sorry for Erin, obnoxious though she may be. She might be very self-conscious about her food addiction, and maybe she thinks that having an accomplice (willing or not) will both draw less attention to herself and make eating an acceptable social occasion rather than a round-the-clock obsession. Are you planning on taking any days off this month? It might be interesting to have another co-worker monitor Erin's food habits when you aren't there. I'll make a little wager with you: What do you want to bet Erin tells her husband/partner/friends, "There's this woman Lisa who likes to eat the same kind of stuff that I do, so we're always going out for food"? I imagine that Erin is not consciously trying to sabotage you. Maybe she's not even unconsciously trying, just because she doesn't get it. My unsolicited advice is to take her aside -- maybe while you're out getting salads! -- and tell her yet again that you have taken a big step toward getting a healthier body, that you've lost almost 70 pounds, and that while you love food you're not going to let it stand between you and your goal. You could even say that you respect her decision to eat whatever she wants, because it's her body, but that you are not going to make the same choices. Maybe you can have a truce: You won't ask her to go on walks, eat healthily, and keep her junk food at home, as long as she agrees not to bring you high-calorie Snacks or ask you to run out for fast food. Good luck. This can't be easy. And the holidays are a perfect excuse for anyone, not just foodies, to bring yummy fattening stuff into the office, so this is the hardest time of year to eat well at work.

My father's sister used S&H green stamps to mail her bills, and let the sinks and bathtubs overflow in her house a couple of times a month, so the utility companies routinely cut off her service. She wouldn't let the gas or Water men into the house because she said they would disturb the family of wolverines she claimed was living with her. And another close relative in LA believed that the Masons were conspiring against him by replacing his carpeting, tapping his phone, and circling his building. He refused to believe that the cars going around the block were just looking for a place to park. I feel like I got off easy with just good old chronic depression. With families like ours, who needs Jerry Springer? (We even have him in the mix, thanks to Lisa's story.)

I'm another frustrated bandster on a plateau. . . frustrated mainly with myself, that is. For one week each month I get major PMS; the cramps aren't bad, but I get seriously waterlogged, crabby, and I want to eat anything that isn't nailed down, especially if it's chocolate. Today is one of those days. I've been exercising for about an hour every single day since Nov. 22, working up a sweat, then I blow it. I didn't have to work today, so I went to lunch with a friend and felt no restriction at all. Luckily we split a dessert; I could have wolfed down not just one but several. I think I might need a fill, but first I need more self-control. I thought the band would do a lot more of the work! I'm having a big dinner party here tomorrow night, and I'm already having a hard time staying out of the chocolate. I should have made turnips for dessert.

Hi Frustrated. Congratulations on getting your band! Your weight-loss pattern is totally normal. A lot of the weight that we lose during the first weeks right after surgery is Water. (That's why many of us notice that our water-retaining feet, ankles, and wrists start to slim down first.) Your body can't metabolize 11 lbs. of fat in one week if you're just going on short walks. Think about it: Suppose you burn 2000 calories per day just breathing, sitting at work, short walks. That's 14,000 calories in a week. Now suppose, just for the sake of argument, that you were eating nothing at all. Zero calories. Burning up 14,000. At 3500 calories per pound, that's a loss of just four pounds, with absolutely no intake. But most of us lose more than that in the first week. It's water. So you're still not eating much, yet your weight is staying the same, even going up a little? Now that your body is getting over the shock of the surgery, and the shock of the initial calorie deprivation, it's holding onto some of that water. But you are still burning fat. Gain a pound of water, lose a pound of fat -- your body is much better off, even though the scale measurement is discouraging. I had gas and incision pains for the first couple of weeks, and found that a heating pad gave me relief. Could you use one in your office? Things do get better. The first taste of mushy food will seem heavenly! And the water-weight problem will sort itself out soon. Don't get discouraged if you have plateaus; they're a normal part of being banded, and now you have a great tool to get your weight headed in the right direction!

Go Lauri go! Great letter. Just a couple of suggestions: 1. Make sure you put in clear breaks between the paragraphs to make it easier to read. 2. Include a history of your attempts at weight loss to show the insurance company that you have tried other ways to lose weight. Some people seem to think the band is an easy way out, and that we're a bunch of gluttonous slobs who lack self-discipline. Emphasize the positive things you have done over the years. 3. Mention any other health problems you have (besides sleep apnea) that will be improved with the band. 4. Consider cutting the section from "As much as it hurts" through "burden brought on by my weight." It is all true, but might overload the letter. I'm one of the impatient bandsters who couldn't wait for all the insurance nonsense, so I got a home equity loan. Three months later, I have a new kitchen and a band. If you own your home, this is another option you might consider in case the insurance company won't budge. Give yourself a big banana dance :banana for having the guts to fight this battle! You are brave! You can do it! Let us know what happens next.

Lauri said it: the scary thing is NOT having the surgery. If you're like most of us here, Sonia, extra pounds are already affecting your health, whether it's through diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, joint trouble, high cholesterol. . . the list goes on. And (not to scare you) it doesn't get better as we get older; on the contrary, the risks increase. If you read some of the past threads, you'll see that the health of a lot of bandsters improves just weeks after having the surgery. That certainly was the case for me; my blood pressure, while still high, is going down. I realize that my post is looking at banding from the negative side, that is, how we lose bad stuff after surgery. Truth is, we get a lot of good stuff: not just better health, but smaller clothes, compliments, confidence, and hope.

Sounds like you're doing fine, Steve. Congratulations on the impressive early weight loss! There's a thread on "closet bandsters" from a couple of months back; you might want to check it for tips. If someone asks why you aren't eating much, you can always say that (1) your stomach doesn't feel quite right, or (2) you want to lose weight. Both true!

Tman, I'm sure your surgery will go well, and that you'll be feeling better soon. Congratulations -- and welcome to Bandland!

Babs, with your amazing weight loss you're such an inspiration to all of us. What you are going through truly sucks. I hope that your doctor can give you a diagnosis re: hair loss so that you can work toward a solution. Going through crappy times is hard any time, but especially rough this time of year, when everything around us is telling us to put on a happy face and Celebrate the wonders of family and financial abundance. If you find yourself really stuck -- that is, immobile, hopeless, and despairing -- please consider talking to your doctor or another professional about treatment for depression, whether it's talking therapy, pharmaceuticals, or a combination of the two. I've been there. Anti-depressants aren't for everyone, and they aren't a quick fix either, but for some of us they are literally lifesavers. With luck, by the time you check this thread again, you will feel better. Please know that your friends in Bandland are rooting for you.

Newbandster, check the food forum subheading under Main LapBand Forums; there are good suggestions there for mushy food. I started an "ethnic mushy" thread a while back, and lots of people posted good suggestions. Congratulations to you!

Oh, man ... the only thing to do is to laugh at our crazy family stories. My relatives aren't too bad, just your basic dysfunctional Americans. Here's one: my father died about 20 years ago; while he was still in the hospital (and the rest of us were visiting him), my youngest brother stole my dad's valuable stamp collection and fenced it to buy cocaine. The night of my dad's memorial service, this bro came roaring into the family house, drunk on his ass, swigging from a bottle of vodka, crying and screaming and demanding to be taken to the airport so he could go to California. My mother was terrified. Two of my other brothers -- big, muscular guys who look like extras from the Sopranos -- exchanged glances, said, "sure, we'll take you," dragged his scrawny ass through the airport, and bought him a ticket. My sober 6'4" brother got down on his knees at the security check-in, praying that the guards would let the drunk on the plane. They did. (This was long before 9/11/01.) I answered the phone at my mother's house at 6 the next morning. "I'm in f*ing Orlando," little bro cried. "What happened to me?" He didn't remember a thing -- including that the brothers had decided to keep him away from the California family and bought him a one-way ticket to Florida.

Pat, you'll be able to answer your own question by the time you read this. I jumped on this thread late, and I seem to be in a minority: my port is near my left hipbone. At the moment there is absolutely no danger of it protruding! Even when I get close to my goal weight it'll probably be padded, to judge from the 19th-century photos of my pear-shaped female ancestors. I haven't had any trouble with the port so far, and it doesn't hurt at all.

Today I visited a friend who's a surgeon, and not exactly overendowed with tact. When she saw me, the first words out of her mouth were "You look like a normal person!" After I slapped her upside the head she at least had the good grace to laugh at herself. Hey, it's not the most lavish compliment I've ever received, but she was sincere. And while I still have a lot of weight to lose, I am starting to feel (and maybe even look) like what passes for normal. In a good way.

Thank you, ladies! Marie, I'm 47. The pictures don't show all the salt in my salt-and-pepper hair. (I stopped dyeing it a couple of years ago -- too high-maintenance, and I kind of dig the silver.) Darcy, I think it's great that one of your in-laws noticed your impressive weight loss. Did your mother say anything after hearing the blurter's comment? Blossom, thank you for the compliment. Do you have some post-surgical stats to report? I bet you're getting close to Onederland!

I don't have a new full-length picture, and I'm wearing a jacket so you can't tell that I'm finally getting the barest suggestion of a waist -- but here goes. The before picture was taken by someone who was mad at me! That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'll be brave and get a jacketless photo for my six-month anniversary in February.

Is Penni the front half and Lulu the back? Whatever the case, you look fantastic! But I think you're a big liar because a child your age couldn't possibly be a grandmother. You don't even look 40! Yes, you are evil!

That puts things in perspective for those of us who started out in Twoville/Twonesia. Thanks for sharing your fabulous pictures! You look gorgeous, and should be very proud of yourself.

Welcome, Kim! There are a lot of people on this board who have been banded in the last couple of weeks, so you have some fellow-travelers on your journey. Before I had the surgery, I read a lot of the old posts; they helped let me know what I was getting into, and the success stories were very encouraging. When you get to the mushy food stage, check the food forum. People have posted some good recipes there. Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.

Well, Doug, tomorrow's the big day. I'm certain everything will go well for you. Tell your kids that they can help their mama pick out some yucky liquids for you to drink when you come home! Good luck.

Pat, by the time you read all these messages, you'll be a bandster! Welcome to the other side. The first few days are the hardest. Hang in there, and let us know how you're doing. Congratulations!

Great idea, Lisa. New thread for loss. Meanwhile, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Thanks, Marie, Becky, and Michelle. I'm on a plateau right now (may have something to do with all the holiday goodies I've been chowing down) but feeling great, what with all the walking I'm doing. Whenever I start to get frustrated, I remind myself of the slow, steady, and remarkable progress that y'all have made with the band. All I need is patience -- and maybe another fill after Jan. 1, which my surgeon friend wants to witness out of scientific curiosity. We all have different ways of amusing ourselves!