Zoe

Hey, Sally, do you have dog photos? Let's see the beasties! Poor Douglas -- my mom has told me about "Neuticles," fake testicles for altered dogs; penile implants must be available somewhere. Tell your Sophie that there's a crazy Sophie dog in Chicago who says hello.

I'm definitely in! I'm still puffed up from my steroid injection, but at least I can move again. Hoping the water weight -- and some fat too -- will fall off soon.

Your first post here made plenty o' sense! I hope you feel better and that those nasty girl issues go away.

That sucks! Don't put too many demands on yourself during such a difficult time -- you've already got a lot to think about. I hope you find a new, and better, job soon. Meanwhile, you deserve a little pampering, and if ice cream is a part of that, no one will hold it against you. BTW, the title of your message made me think of Leslie Nielsen in "Airplane" -- is that what you had in mind?

Christina, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through all this. At least Dr. P is giving you straight answers. Are you feeling any better? How's your back? If you're still feeling crummy in another week, maybe you should get a second opinion. As decent as your doc sounds, it might be worth talking to someone else, if only to reassure yourself that everything will be OK. BTW, I am a bruiser too. I was seriously purple for a few weeks, especially around the port -- then I changed to yellow-green. I was too grossed out to take a picture of my belly, but now I wish I had.

Warning: what follows is not a serious suggestion: Vicodin and other opiate pain killers usually reduce appetite, and definitely won't keep you awake. It was during a Vicodin period last winter that I made myself eat a Krispy Kreme because my daily calorie count was falling under 800. Of course, Vicodin might make you fall asleep during the day, think sloppily, walk around in an incoherent stupor, and become constipated and/or addicted. And I guess I should point out that Rush Limbaugh, last year's Vicodin poster boy, is no toothpick, so I guess he didn't have the same reaction. Seriously, I wish I could join in this junk-food rejection. But I am perverse and if I start thinking that I am totally denied something, I will start craving it even if I didn't want it before the prohibition. But I am definitely ready to cut down on junk, even if I'm not ready for cold-turkey yet. Oops, wish I hadn't said turkey. . . wonder if there's any in the fridge. . .

I agree. Of course, we all hope we're going to be among the lucky ones who lose weight during the first weeks -- but whether we are or not is almost completely beyond our control. A lot of people lose or gain many pounds of water in the weeks immediately after band surgery. I know it's hard to be patient, especially if you've had to wait a long time to get your band, but hang in there. You are totally normal. Your band just isn't in working order yet -- kind of like a new car that hasn't had the engine installed.

Mary, how was the weekend?

Good luck, Heather. You're doing the right thing. And about your "slow" weight loss -- yes, it can be discouraging, but those pounds are gone forever. You're losing at a reasonable rate, and the scale numbers are going down. A teeny tiny unfill might make a big difference. Let us know how your appointment went.

Hamu, you've received some great comments here. I just wanted to add a few words for you and Kelly, because Ben & Jerry are two of my favorite guys (since I don't see much of Ernest & Julio these days). Most B&J ice cream is 300 calories per serving; four servings per pint. So a whole pint -- and for me, that used to be the size of my real serving -- is 1200 calories. I believe that you need 3500 extra unused calories to make a pound. I am still the ice cream queen, even after banding. I eat a lot less of it than I used to, but I still love the stuff. You can eat ice cream and still lose weight! Just don't make a habit of hanging out with Ben & Jerry on a regular basis; like certain friends we all have, they're fine to visit occasionally but you don't want to see too much of them. Ever since I stopped buying cartons of ice cream I've done a lot better. I just keep frozen fruit bars and fat-free Fudgsicles in the fridge -- if I'm craving something else, I make myself go out and buy one scoop. It's not perfect bandster behavior, but it's a way of taming the beast.

Wow! Lookin' good, everyone! These photos are so inspiring; every time I check the picture thread, I wind up resolving to be a better bandster. Say, have you seen Greg's tiny little waist? Looks like he wears about a 32 now.

I don't mean to criticize you, Nita -- it's just that there are plenty of us who have real co-morbidities, and I wish there had been a way for me to cheat the docs to LOWER my blood pressure and make my back and joint pain disappear, not falsely intensify them. Of course there are people who want to lose weight for valid "cosmetic" reasons (justifiably afraid that they may develop weight-related health problems if they don't take corrective action) who are desperate enough to fake symptoms in order to get insurance to pay for surgery designed to eliminate those symptoms in the first place. Does the end justify the means? Each one of us has to decide. But if anyone fakes symptoms, artificially inflates his weight or reduces height and then gets turned down by an insurance company, he has no right to complain, especially when insurers tighten their qualifications for surgery because the companies are paying a lot of "false" claims.

Congratulations! I think a lot of us have experienced fickle bands. I wolfed down a bowl of guacamole without any problem a few weeks ago, then got a nasty PB from salad the next day. Funny how it's never big helpings of salad that go down easy, it's always stuff like chocolate cake, ice cream, and tortilla chips.

Crystal, this is sad news. But luckily you're wrong about one thing: there are wheelchairs -- more like four-legged carts -- for old and disabled dogs; see the bottom of the page at http://www.abledogs.net/faq.html for links. Whatever you decide, you might want to check http://www.srdogs.com/index.html for support. Good luck with this difficult choice; I know you have your dog's best interests at heart.

Four mastiffs?! Cool. That's, what, 600 lbs. of dog? My Sophie (Lab x maniac) has a wonderful Tibetan Mastiff buddy, and she often plays with a couple of English Mastiffs on the beach. Check out http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5054 for some bandster animal posts. Welcome to LBT!

bumping for newbies

Gotta ask about your screen name -- do you have a Mastiff dog? What kind (English, Tibetan, Neapolitan, plain old Mastiff)? We have lots of dog nuts here, including me.

Hi Sam! Welcome to LBT. I know that no one should compare weight-loss stats, but yours are damn impressive! I'm sure you'll get to your goal by your band anniversary date next February.

Welcome, Stephani. Some doctors are jerks (not the first word that came to my mind), that's for sure. It's great that you got past your bad experience with doc #1 and decided to find an alternative. We have a great group of people here from all walks of life, including waaaay too many Texans! (just kidding) Good luck, and congrats on moving forward.

Excellent! See you on the banded side of life. . .

Welcome -- and congratulations on your loss!

I sent you a PM with some suggestions. I've never been treated like that at MIBC. I'm appalled that the guy couldn't even tell you the amount of your fill. He seems to have a cavalier attitude, as if you and your concerns aren't important. This stinks! How are you feeling now?

I make weird sounds all the time -- kind of like the Tuvalan throat singers. Oh well, better above deck noises than below.

Thanks, everyone! I may give Mistic Tan a try. Lisa, the North & Wells branch is probably the closest; unfortunately there's a Coldstone ice cream parlor right there! Tanning beds are not an option for me. I will spare you my melanoma lecture, but everyone who uses one, please be careful. Nivea, Jergens, and Clinique sound worth trying. But since I just spent $15 on the Coppertone stuff, maybe I'll just lower my expectations first, as Kathy suggested. I loved "All I'm interested in is reducing the glare." Ditto! Our legs could have a snow-blindness contest.

WooHoo! Who's that gorgeous babe? Congratulations, Megan -- you deserve every bit of your fun and happiness!