circa

some people do great with the band - you have to be vigilant in your own personal care. I wonder how many warning signs this person may have ignored. Everyone does it - you ignore a pain here, a feeling there - when you have something like this done, you absolutely CANNOT ignore the little signs.

It depends on what you do - my sister had hers removed and returned to work the next day, but she didn't have to lift anything (can't lift more than 10 lbs)

Yes, what you experienced was abuse. You do not deserve that. You deserve nothing but respect. Your children are experiencing this abuse as well. Watching their mom be abused is abusing them as well. Please, stand up for yourself. You say that you think your kids deserve both parents, but really - what lesson are you teaching them? That its okay for your sons to treat women that way? Teaching your daughters that this is how they should be treated? Staying together for the kids is the worst reason to stay together. Trust me - my parents tried that - I hated my family., I hated holidays and I still have issues from that. Please, take your husband aside and explain to him what you expect of him - and MEAN IT. Let him know that his behavior will not be tolerated. You are commanding respect. He needs to get on board.

My husband and one of my siblings know and that's it. Well, and you guys Those are the only people that are being told.

I'm missing a lengthy blog entry

I personally don't believe in "starvation mode" - your body will adjust and you will stall or plateau for a while as your body reconfigures itself. Circuit training will help to increase your muscle and prevent lean body mass loss.

First thing's first. You are NOT alone in this. So many of us can empathize with the situation. The sad fact is, you can't do anything to make them get in control. You have to prepare yourself for the worst, and be a shining example to them of the best that you can be. I'm prepared for my mother to die at an early age - my siblings are not. I don't have kids and they do - they have that extra attachment of having to explain to their kids where their Grandma went. Its a hard situation. All you can do is take care of you and show them that life isn't over.

ask all the questions! If you don't know how to word them, Just as "what do I need to know about my _______?" insert your concern there. They should be able to answer any common concerns about how the surgery will or won't affect that.

So I've thought long and hard about this - I've decided to go to Mexico and have the surgery done. I've been through flaming hoops with insurance companies 5 times now and I just don't want to do it again. I have the funds to go to Mexico and just get it done and not deal with red tape. I'm pretty sure I'm going to see Dr. Almanza, however Dr. Aceves is also appealing to me. I think they're both exceptional surgeons, I'm just waiting to hear back from their coordinators with the answers to some questions I have asked. I have to get a new passport since mine is long expired. Anyone have any idea how long it takes to get a passport these days? I want to schedule my surgery for as soon as possible. Also, since I'll be using ground transportation between the US and Mexico, can I use a passport card instead of a passport? Has anyone done that?

Even better - got my passport card today Yay!

Good topic - I was wondering the same thing - I've had a couple of gall stones that were IN-FRIGGIN-SANE in the pain area - and I have an extremely high threshold for pain. And...to be honest, I can deal with the pain. I just CAN'T. THROW. UP. I hate hate hate throwing up - I know it'll make you feel better yadda yadda yadda - but I just will do anything to make it NOT happen. (So as you can see, bulimia was never an issue for me ) I think I might ask my surgeon to remove it. Thanks for the tip!

Okay - weight this morning was 374.4 I was hoping for less, but dinner was salty last night. I'm feeling a visitor coming along too - oh well, as long as I'm doing the right thing - what the scale says doesn't matter - its gonna be singing a different tune very soon anyway.

I did. I did go out and have a good time. There were a couple awkward moments because they were talking about people at work that were of size and were not appropriate with their size. What I mean by that is, when you know that you're of size, you probably shouldn't try to sit in a little mini armchair and then be all shocked when you don't fit. And I'm not talking about a normal size chair - I'm talking about a kids chair that has arms that I wouldn't sit in if I weighed a quarter of what I do now. Then they apologized to me for making the comment - and I was like....uhm - why apologize to me? I'm not trying to squeeze my ass into a hello kitty chair. But other that it was pretty fun.

So hubby wants to go out to dinner tonite with friends from work. It REALLY bothers me. I haven't met anyone he works with yet - we just moved here and I'm really not comfortable in my own skin around people in the condition I'm in. I have never in my life been uncomfortable around people. I have no idea how to deal with this. I mean, I don't want to be the fat girl at the table. I don't want them to go back to work and say "woah - have you met her? She's really FAT!". I know I should have some faith in people but even some of my husband's friends have made comments about me and about how they thought my husband should leave me because I was ill and then getting fat. No, he doesn't hang out with these people anymore. I'm just tired of explaining to people - not that I owe them anything, but I feel the need to. I mean, I avoided one of my dear friends for 4 years because the last time he saw me I was rockin' a bathing suit on a canoe trip and a year later, I'm twice the size I was. I couldn't face him - I think mostly because I don't understand how this really happened. They told me I would be in treatment for 6 months. Well, here it is 4 and a half years later and those treatments have given me steroid-secreting tumors that have caused so many problems. I have come to terms with what happened - I get that I have to be the one to fix it - and that's what I'm doing. I'm just trying to get a new start without the judging of other people who have NO IDEA where I've been and what I have gone through and still continue to go through. But I'm going to dinner. I have to continue to have some faith in people. Here's my first chance.

Thanks - yeah its been crazy. But I can honestly say that I EARNED this sleeve!

So, while I know better than to live life by the scale, I did buy one. I owned one previously, but I just moved and I can't find a damned thing. I figured it was probably time for a new one anyway. So I did a little research to find a nice and accurate one. I stepped on the scale and wasn't surprised really - wel, I thought it might have said a higher number than it did with the holidays, etc - although I didn't really indulge. But I haven't exactly been on my best behavior since moving here - a lot of eating out since...well...I can't find anything! Nah - we got the kitchen mostly figured out now - I've been sick for about 4 of the 6 weeks I've been here though, so its been more takeout than it should have been. Anyway - no excuses any longer. I have my grocery list for tonight. I've stocked up for post-op, have protein shakes ordered. I have 3 weeks to go before surgery, so I'm going to start this now. Because i don't believe in weighing in other than first thing in the morning. I will start with tomorrow morning. I know I'll have some ups and downs - I'm dealing with that "monthly" visitor coming twice every 5 weeks - lemme tell ya. Its NOT fun. I can't wait till all this is over and I can convince a doc to just take out everything that doesn't work. That's kinda my whole deal on deciding on the sleeve. If its not working for me, why keep it? I don't want to reroute anything - I don't feel comfortable with that. I want to be a runner again and that means being able to eat foods that don't necessarily work with a bypass. Not really comfortable with the whole plumbing change anyway - someone put a lot of thought into the initial design- I'm going for the remodel The band was originally my first choice when I hit 260 lbs. But then I couldn't get approval and the weight just kept piling on. When my doctor told me that there really wasn't anything I could do about it until I got treatment for the steroid tumors, I was really quite depressed and didn't help the situation by not paying much attention to what I ate. I mean, really - what's the point? I could eat lettuce all day and I would still gain weight because of the tumors - why not have cheesecake....for lunch. Yup, I definitely deserve the assist on this one. And I've come to terms with that. And I have now forgiven myself for not being more in control of something I could partially control. I've always been so "all or nothing". I've tried so many times to get to the OR and every single time someone else has pulled the rug out from under me. I didn't sabotage myself in those instances. Well, one time I did walk away because I was NOT comfortable with the surgeon or the technique, but I think that was for the better. Definitely a plus to me. The other times, I got "not medically necessary" from an insurance company that obviously doesn't understand medical necessity (although, for one of those I was glad - because I was trying for the band - glad I didn't get it) The other times were due to insurance loss. I lost my job and so did my husband - we paid COBRA for his insurance and his company didn't process it correctly so we missed the deadline for the insurance to be valid - they kept the money - I nearly killed someone. The next time, I was going through the process and the company I worked for changed insurance and it was no longer covered. The last one was prime tho. I had pretty good insurance. I had to wait a certain amount of time because I had a tumor (non-cancerous) removed from my breast. I finally found a great surgeon I liked. Got all the preop stuff out of the way. Got my surgery date. It was in 4 weeks! Soooooo excited! Then I got a bill in the mail because my company had stopped paying my insurance premiums without telling me. Then the company folded and not only did I lose my insurance, but my husband and I lost 15 THOUSAND dollars in payroll/invoices owed to us. We both worked for the same company. So not only did I not have any insurance, I certainly didn't have the money to pay for the surgery out of pocket, or the bills that I had acquired up til then. Now I'm suing that company. BUT! We moved halfway across the country, I'm working for myself, my husband has a GREAT job with really CRAPPY insurance. But I can self-pay in Mexico. That's why I feel in control now So while the weigh ins start tomorrow, the crap eating has already stopped. I mean, I haven't ate really crappy in a long time. But it'll be even better now. I'm officially pre-op. Gotta do this right!

World Market has toriani syrups - a HUGE selection of sugar free ones - I picked up some this weekend - cheaper than what I could get them at Sams or Walmart for. So if you have a World Market in your area - check there. They also have a GREAT selection of green teas which can really help to stave hunger - and so many soups from all over the world. http://www.worldmarket.com to see if you have one

5 surgeries a day is average for a surgeon with a procedure time similar to ours. I know it sounds like a lot because....well...they are messing around with your insides But I think you'll find that every other surgeon, including yours does 5-7 surgeries in a day.

Yay! I have a surgery date twin! See you there! I'm so excited!

Paola! I see you have surgery tomorrow! I'll be praying for a quick recovery for you! You've already lost so much preop, you'll be a rockstar postop! Congrats!!!!

Found out my passport card will be here around Wednesday. Hubby's is still "processing" which is weird because his went in like 4 days before mine. Hope there's not a problem with his...

No one said you had to go to Dr. Almanza. Of course I've done my research - have YOU? I don't appreciate your negative comments without any backup - you don't know anything about Dr. Almanza. My guess, by the number of posts you've made, as well as the content of the posts, is that you WORK for another doctor. Go troll somewhere else. I don't doubt that Dr. Ponce de Leon is a great doctor. I wonder how he would feel about you badmouthing other surgeons you know NOTHING about?

I'm fortunate to have a treadmill and a total gym at home. Before I got sick, I lived on these things. I'd wake up, pee, throw on a sports bra and some shorts and work out on my total gym for an hour every morning. It was great - I didn't even really have to be awake yet hahah - by the time i was done, I was wide awake, in the shower and then on to breakfast. Every night, I came home, had dinner, watched some tv and then ran 5 miles indoors on the treadmill if running outside was not possible -(which where i lived before was about 8 months out of the year). Shower and sleep! I can't wait to get back to that. I know I'll have to ease into it, which stinks because I didn't ease out of it Anyway, this is the model total gym I have http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3996120 They make them much more expensive and even less expensive - I think about 200 bucks at JC Penney.

Everyone's body processes differently. A calorie is not just a calorie. My body HATES carbs - loves protein. My sister's body does well with carbs. I've run half marathons on nothing but green leafy carbs. No grains whatsoever - and I don't mean just in the immediate. I've gone months without any grains and continually run 5 miles a day, and even half marathons on weekends. However, many of the people I used to run with could not possibly run without carbing up. Bottom line, find out what your body is asking you for. Good luck