LilMissDiva Irene

Creating a new thread because the other one has gotten really long. So, here are my before and currents to keep the topic moving. Current as of last week:

Next year my Husband and I will celebrate our 20th year together, and to celebrate with all of our family and friends we have decided to have a Recommitment Ceremony. Yes, we are going to get Re-Married... We are going to take our Vows again and freshen up on our agreement we took to one another two decades ago. Sometimes a “fresh start” rekindles those words spoken when they first occurred can remind us exactly what they meant to us. But what about the Vows we took when we first took the plunge to seriously consider Weight Loss Surgery? Do you remember what you told yourself you would do way back when? Be truthful with yourself, are you still bound to these vows? I remember mine, and the most distinct one for me was that I would NEVER go back to the old me. The obese me, the one who had no hope, who was miserable and feeling lost and scared of my own future. There were several others such as, I promise to work out and become fit for a stronger body. Even telling myself that no matter what, I would not let the scale dictate to me how amazing or awful a person I am. For the most part the scale often told me I was quite amazing (Ha!). I suppose maybe I did listen to the scale back then because it was fun to watch the weight melt away. During those times when the scale didn’t cooperate I used other means of measuring how well I was doing. I checked to see how my clothes were fitting; I kept a running measurement of every part of my body – even my neck and my wrist! Even a quarter inch loss in those areas made me feel better. Then there are the awesome side-by-side photos. Pictures don’t lie! They never did, and that’s probably why a lot of us hid from the cameras Pre-Op. As the years go by Post-Op it really does become easier and easier to forget how we got to our goals and how we have maintained. It becomes easier to tell ourselves that indulging more and more is acceptable and before you know it the pounds creep back up. You will blink your eye and all of a sudden your clothes become tight and you notice a little comfortableness about yourself. I personally have made a Re-commitment to myself not so long ago. I am 50 (and 1) Days into a No Sugar eating plan and I am back to regular routine workouts. Another agreement that I am re-committing to myself is that I will never again ignore the scale. Yes, it’s true I don’t allow the scale to make me feel bad about myself but it is a necessary tool to remind me that I need to make sure I don’t keep going up, or I will be like the mountain climber on The Price Is Right and yodel my way right off the chart cliff. Let’s just say my Re-commitment has done me well and I am more than on my way back to the champion I was a year or so ago. It feels good to take back the control and be reminded that my life depends on me keeping my promises. I needed this in order to take my future health serious. Every day is Day 1, until you successfully make it to Day 2. What were your most outstanding Vows that you recall? Are you still following them, or can you Re-commit to them? If you find yourself needing to Re-Commit, don’t wait! Take this moment to truly reflect on just how well you really are doing. Can you make some new commitments even? This time write them all out on a piece of paper and make a contract with yourself to uphold the Vows of health and fitness with yourself, and sign it and date it. Read it aloud and if necessary show someone that you trust. Read it out to them and be upfront to them about what you are doing. Of course only you can ensure that you are upholding your end of the bargain to the healthy person inside.

Hello Everyone, It has been a very long time since I have been to this forum and I wanted to check in to see how everyone is doing. I also wanted to catch up with my crazy life. Anyway I have been offline in the bariatric world just living my life. After a while things just start settling down and years go by... times change... faces get older and brains get used to life in the "new normal". I don't know if an of you will know my story so to make it short I have been through THREE WLS's. Yes, I said three... a lapband, a Gastric Sleeve and finally I resolved to be a RnY Bypasser. Ha! No regrets.. well maybe a few.. I'm human after all. ANYWAY!! I need to reconnect because I have NOT been working out much at all. Just the very minimum and even these past few weeks I have done nothing. No bueno! So, as I was lying in bed just now something just zapped me the hell out of it and I decided I needed to get UP!! Sheesh... So, here I am! Ready to get back to my serious workout and being kind to my body. My muscles are crying to come back out and play. I'm here to chat anytime. I probably have the most experience of anyone you'll ever meet as far as weight loss, gains, all surgery types, workouts, eating plans... anything. But I also need some accountability too. I'm older now and I see it. I see that I can't do this alone. I need my bariatric friends for guidance and a KICK IN THE BUTT! A shout out to anyone who remembers me. Check in and say hi! I really miss you guys. Much love and all peace. Irene and my most recent selfie. I'm on Facebook and IG too. FB: Irene Janel Avila and IG: Pookies_Mama

WLS Do’s and Don’ts DO remove the word ONLY from your vocabulary. Ex: I’ve ONLY lost 10 Lbs in 2 weeks… Now let’s look at this again without the word ONLY: I’ve lost 10 Lbs in 2 weeks!! See what I mean? Perception is reality folks!! DON’T assume you’ll never eat all of your favorite foods again. This is just an excuse your brain has designed to allow you to indulge. You WILL eat all your favorites again someday, just much less but find it to me more enjoyable. Which leads directly into the next: DON’T do the “last meal” syndrome. You will only sabotage your weight loss you might have pre-surgery or set you back further from your ultimate goal post-op. This surgery is very serious and is for the serious minded. Use this time wisely to get the feeling of how life might be like post op. DO learn all of the rules pre-op that you will endure post-op. Such as, no drinking with meals, using smaller utensils and plates, engaging in some type of workout routine, limiting your sugar and sodium intake, joining as many WLS support groups as you can. DO Celebrate every single pound lost! Imagine one pound of butter. Yeah… that’s gone from your body forever. It is noteworthy and worth every bit of a pat on the back as any others that may go along with it. DON’T compare your successes and losses to others. Chances are very high that you will only come out on the short end and only find yourself disappointed. Everyone’s journeys are their own… DO keep track of your losses in many different ways than just the scale! Examples: DO keep one set of your largest clothes you’ve ever worn. Make it a point to try them on, especially when you’re having a down moment. You will find this will really pick up your spirits! This is a real rollercoaster of a ride, and anything that will keep you positive is what you should do! DON'T keep any other fat clothes around. Get rid of them ASAP. You're never going to fit them again, right? So... off to donations they go. DO take photos of yourself just before your surgery. Keep them close. Again, having a bad day? Look at them and compare them. As a matter of fact, take photos of yourself often. You will also find that the more you lose, the more you will want to take pictures. Nothing wrong with that!!! That goes with celebrating your losses. DO take measurements of yourself often. Keeping track of all your inches lost will really keep you on the right track when your scale is being stubborn!! DO reward yourself every time you hit a mini goal. Make some more worthy than others. I like to go shopping when I hit a goal, it is my favorite thing to do now. DON’T let the scale define you. Great majority of us will endure many fluctuations and stalls in this journey. It is what it is… patience is the key here. Meditate and envision yourself months down the road at your goal. Smile, then move on!! DO find out about measuring body fat! It’s more than just weight loss, FAT LOSS is the real goal here. Keep in mind that the BMI scale is greatly inaccurate and most Health Studies do prove this. According to the American Council on Exercise (ACE) our body fat % ranges should be average: 25-31% for Women and 18-24% for men. Any higher is considered obese. However it does go more in depth, according to ages and more. Everyone has different genetic make ups, frame sizes and fitness levels... even a different ethnicity can post differences. DO have many goals in sight. Having only one, especially a simple weight goal you will find can be difficult. Have many MINI goals along your journey, and more than just ones that involve the scale. Such as, clothing size goals, body fat% goals, fitness or workout goals, dietary goals, etc… DO challenge yourself always!! Whether it’s a global challenge with others, or personal challenges... It will keep you motivated and always willing to go further than you ever thought you could! DO have a mentor! Find someone that you can trust and confide in, and that you know has “been there”. Preferably someone you know in person. You will find many folks in your life who have been there, for obesity is worldwide now and there are so many who have been able to defeat this demon. It’s not easy! It quite literally is the toughest feat I’ve ever had to endure. I can say this too, my job will never be done. This is for life! DON'T believe the myth that your tool has an expiration date. Yes, it's true you will lose the most weight in the first year and it's also true that the further out you are and the closer you are to goal, the harder it is to lose. However, as long as you keep up with your healthy eating and fitness routines you will continue to lose weight and / or keep it off in the many years post op. It all boils down to calories in vs. calories out. DON'T believe the myth that having WLS will keep the weight off forever. That is our individual responsibility. And finally… DON’T ever beat yourself up! We all make mistakes, and dare I say not one person on this Earth is perfect. I try hard to be, no doubt! I always admit that I’m a perfectionist – but I’m far from perfect. I just try to be… The only thing you can do is pick yourself up, give yourself a pep talk, perhaps contact your mentor for reassurance and move on!!! Again, this is for life. Every day you wake up is a second chance. DO look for solutions to your problems. Otherwise they will just become excuses. DON’T EVER GIVE UP! I don’t think any explanation is necessary here. DON'T expect the scale to post a loss every single day. As a matter of fact, don't expect it to move that much even weekly! Just keep doing all the right things and the scale will move in the right direction when it needs to. DO expect to see fluctuations on the scale, both down AND up. DON'T lose your head over it either. This isn't a miracle cure and the weight isn't going to magically disappear in a few weeks. You have to keep pushing with healthy eating, some type of workout and getting plenty of Fluid. DON'T let the scale define your journey when there are so many pieces to that puzzle!!! Good luck to all of you. This journey is a tough one, but if you are here, then you believed in yourself enough to give yourself the life you’ve always dreamed of. YOU WILL BE successful. Always keep that in mind. Add-ons by other experienced sleevers: DO keep a list of NSV (Non scale victories) to reflect on when times are getting hard. Can you walk up 2 extra flights of stairs before getting winded? Cross your legs?" and "DO NOT be afraid to change things if they aren't working. Stalls happen even gains happen. If you are on a long stall look at your eating and decided if changes need to be made. Utilize your tool!" -- Southern Sleever DO: Keep a food diary of what you eat and drink. This is a great learning tool as to which foods have what amounts of fat, Protein and carbs that add up to your daily intake goals. There are many ways to diary your food - from old fashioned pen and notebook to many options via smartphone apps. Keeping one is the important thing - however is right for you. I use mine now to look back for meal ideas when I hit a blank as to what to prepare for a day or a week. DO: Realize this is not a diet to be followed for a while then set aside. This is a permanent lifestyle change. Yes, the amount of food you eat will increase as time passes, but your relationship with food will be forever altered. How you celebrate your joys, successes and holidays will be different. How you mourn your sorrows will be different. Some people need outside help to get through the sometimes overwhelming mental changes this process brings. If you need help with this part of the deal- reach out and get it. -- SKCUNNINGHAM DO roll with the punches!! -- fern

QUESTION: "I'm having surgery soon, what will I need for my hospital stay or for shortly after???" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this question comes up here so much - I felt it would be a great idea to start up an official thread. My plan is once I think the list is great enough, I'm going to create a checklist for all the folks out there that will be sleeved shortly and have the above question. Then if you are around long enough and as much as I am, and someone has that question you can just lead them to this thread. Fair enough? Sometimes it's just nice to have everything all in the same place, kinda following the WalMart rule of thumb. They are very successful, aren't they? Anyway, please start with your suggestions and I'll get my MSWord fired up. I'll also start with the first suggestion: Comfy Pajamas, underclothes, and slippers or warm cozy socks... Hospital Stay Checklist.doc

We need a complete list of acronyms used here. Please assist by placing out some suggestions. I will give it a weeks time and compile the list. I will also pin it so it's easy to find in THIS forum (most used) Thanks in advance to all helping out!!

Are you going to tell everyone that you're having WLS? Or will you just tell a select few? Or are you keeping it all to yourself and your Dr? Tell us why or why not!

Lets get some conversations going in here! Don't be so shy... tell us about yourself. Age? Sex? Location? LOL okay maybe on Yahoo Personals style but hey... someone's gotta get this place going.

Be honest: How does your extra skin make you feel? I was watching the new show "Skin Tight" on TLC with the young lady who's name is Lauana, mentioning her excess skin and how it REALLY made her feel. I personally have always had the knack of pushing my feelings aside and just being happy with 'Good Enough'... but then she spoke. Be honest: How does your extra skin make you feel? I was watching the new show "Skin Tight" on TLC with the young lady who's name is Lauana, mentioning her excess skin and how it REALLY made her feel. I personally have always had the knack of pushing my feelings aside and just being happy with 'Good Enough'... but then she spoke. I have always wanted to eventually get my skin removed, someday. I've been at or near goal for about 4 years now, or something like that. I've never really counted. But I also never acknowledged the fact that I may be more fit, healthier, smaller.. whatever, but I am not a finished product. I still have one more step to go and with watching that Television program I was slapped in the face with it. I need to have my excess skin removed. To this day I've never ever shared photos of my excess skin, and I probably won't until it's gone. Kind of the Before and After effect. I can't stand it. The gal who was on there, we look exactly alike naked. And when she said, "Sometimes I wonder if it's just better to be fat and filled out rather than be left with this saggy skin..." I felt that a little too much! I almost cried. Honesty came to the forefront and it made me realize that until I get it through my thick skin... (pun intended?) that I will never feel complete. Later during her consultation, the surgeon pulled her excess arm skin to the back, revealing a slender beautifully fit arm. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing at that point. All I could do was reach next to my bed and grab a tissue and wipe away the shame of what I had done to my body. I could see in my imagination the many times I'd done that in front of my mirror when I'm all alone in the room. Wondering what it must be like.. going out in public without worry someone is looking at my saggy arms, or what they must be thinking. I want to feel that general confidence that come with that. I have always said that yes, I wanted to have my excess skin removed, but not with as much certainty as I was at that moment. So why am I sharing this here? Why am I not sharing this in the skin removal category? Because, this is something that majority and I mean 90ish percent of us will think about at some point. With WLS comes a lot of fat loss, and with a lot of fat loss comes a lot of extra skin. Of course there will be some lucky people out there without the extra skin, and God Blessed them. But me? No, I have it. I hate it. I want it gone. I also hope that through this channel of communication I can bring others some comfort. That you are not alone, you are not crying alone. You are not wishing and hating your skin alone. I have gone through more than my share of surgeries since my Lap Band in 2008, so the thought of more surgeries has me turned off. That said, when I see my friends who have had the skin removed... my heart aches for that feeling that I know nothing about. What it must be like to look tight, and finally feel like a normal person (whatever that means!). I want to say however that I wouldn't change a thing about my journey. I am glad that I made the choice to have Weight Loss Surgery. I am glad that I kept fighting when things didn't seem to go my way. I am glad that I stayed positive and kept moving forward when it felt like I wasn't losing. I am glad I stayed strong mentally and kept working toward a new day. I am mostly thankful to myself that I kept that part of me in the background when I really needed to focus on other health issues I was having. I most likely would have gone crazy otherwise... but I've gotten all of the other health issues resolved. So now, this issue is ready for me to fix. I am now in that fork in the road of, do I just take one course and keep the skin? Or do I take the other road and help myself achieve what I always imagined in my head I could be? Thanks to the new TLC show, I have finally made my choice. Loving myself doesn't have to be accepting myself the way I am. It can also mean loving myself enough to be everything I imagine in my head. There can always be room for improvement.

I'm very happy for you! I will be so glad to have my arms done. Was it very painful? It won't prevent me from doing it, and I have a very high threshold for pain. What was it for you on the pain scale?

I do believe there was some editing to make the story more interesting, as with any "reality TV". Another reason why being judgmental toward any of the subjects doesn't make sense. I don't look to deeply into the reasons behind anyone's journey, I only applaud and support anyone who is working on bettering themselves.

As always, thank YOU.

@@jess9395 I'm not sure if you watched the entire show but she stated she was very happy at the end.

I didn't write this article to create a forum for belittling or judging the lovely lady on the show. Thank you for your input. However, I wrote it because there are many people out there who feel judged and often times keep the plastic surgery journey to themselves. Many choose to keep how they feel about their excess skin hidden because others out there who view their feelings negatively. I caution to plant labels on someone due to any factors in their medical history, including anxiety. Irene Like I said above, I'm of the mind that part of it may be due to an anxiety disorder on her part (she mentioned taking anxiety meds). But as someone trained in the mental health field, her level of body hatred/anxiety strikes me as dysfunctional--it interferes with her daily life to a very large degree. She kept saying she was a freak, deformed, etc. She really didn't look that bad to me, especially with clothes on! She looked beautiful!

I didn't want to admit that either - the procrastinator part. Haha I totally get that! I will follow you! You give me hope.

Hi NewSet, I wouldn't ever want for anyone to feel guilty for wanting more. And just like you explained it, it goes much deeper than just vanity. Fitting clothes, working out in comfort, no itchy skin to tend to... etc. Don't feel bad for wanting to be free from your excess skin, because after awhile I became to realize it's shedding that old self away - literally.

This is another thing that gets me, the way my clothes fit. It's not a mystery that most clothing makers don't factor in 20 Lbs of excess skin when creating clothes. It will be so nice to be able to put on clothes with ease, rather than trying to re-fit a busted can of Pillsbury muffins back into the canister.

I loved your reply, thank you. You get it.

I just want to reply in that it is not true that skin removal is guaranteed replacement by hideous scars. Skin removal surgery has made leaps and bounds over the years, especially now that more and more people are having WLS and needing this once they get to their goals. There are many very skilled plastic surgeons who specialize in excess skin removal and the scars are almost non existent. They are very well placed and look like a small line after awhile of healing.

Losing weight and getting healthy and fit is always the right choice. It's just not always the finish line for some of us. But being able to live is far better than sitting on the sidelines. It's also nice to not worry if you will live to see your children grow up, or something that has meaning to you.

Be honest: How does your extra skin make you feel? I was watching the new show "Skin Tight" on TLC with the young lady who's name is Lauana, mentioning her excess skin and how it REALLY made her feel. I personally have always had the knack of pushing my feelings aside and just being happy with 'Good Enough'... but then she spoke. I have always wanted to eventually get my skin removed, someday. I've been at or near goal for about 4 years now, or something like that. I've never really counted. But I also never acknowledged the fact that I may be more fit, healthier, smaller.. whatever, but I am not a finished product. I still have one more step to go and with watching that Television program I was slapped in the face with it. I need to have my excess skin removed. To this day I've never ever shared photos of my excess skin, and I probably won't until it's gone. Kind of the Before and After effect. I can't stand it. The gal who was on there, we look exactly alike naked. And when she said, "Sometimes I wonder if it's just better to be fat and filled out rather than be left with this saggy skin..." I felt that a little too much! I almost cried. Honesty came to the forefront and it made me realize that until I get it through my thick skin... (pun intended?) that I will never feel complete. Later during her consultation, the surgeon pulled her excess arm skin to the back, revealing a slender beautifully fit arm. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing at that point. All I could do was reach next to my bed and grab a tissue and wipe away the shame of what I had done to my body. I could see in my imagination the many times I'd done that in front of my mirror when I'm all alone in the room. Wondering what it must be like.. going out in public without worry someone is looking at my saggy arms, or what they must be thinking. I want to feel that general confidence that come with that. I have always said that yes, I wanted to have my excess skin removed, but not with as much certainty as I was at that moment. So why am I sharing this here? Why am I not sharing this in the skin removal category? Because, this is something that majority and I mean 90ish percent of us will think about at some point. With WLS comes a lot of fat loss, and with a lot of fat loss comes a lot of extra skin. Of course there will be some lucky people out there without the extra skin, and God Blessed them. But me? No, I have it. I hate it. I want it gone. I also hope that through this channel of communication I can bring others some comfort. That you are not alone, you are not crying alone. You are not wishing and hating your skin alone. I have gone through more than my share of surgeries since my Lap Band in 2008, so the thought of more surgeries has me turned off. That said, when I see my friends who have had the skin removed... my heart aches for that feeling that I know nothing about. What it must be like to look tight, and finally feel like a normal person (whatever that means!). I want to say however that I wouldn't change a thing about my journey. I am glad that I made the choice to have Weight Loss Surgery. I am glad that I kept fighting when things didn't seem to go my way. I am glad that I stayed positive and kept moving forward when it felt like I wasn't losing. I am glad I stayed strong mentally and kept working toward a new day. I am mostly thankful to myself that I kept that part of me in the background when I really needed to focus on other health issues I was having. I most likely would have gone crazy otherwise... but I've gotten all of the other health issues resolved. So now, this issue is ready for me to fix. I am now in that fork in the road of, do I just take one course and keep the skin? Or do I take the other road and help myself achieve what I always imagined in my head I could be? Thanks to the new TLC show, I have finally made my choice. Loving myself doesn't have to be accepting myself the way I am. It can also mean loving myself enough to be everything I imagine in my head. There can always be room for improvement.

I had this set to record on my DVR and it sat in the inbox for days... then I just deleted it. I figured if I haven't watched it yet then I don't really want to. Seems like just another TBL type humiliate the fat person type show honestly. And then there's that other new series where the trainer gains 60 "Sympathy" pounds and teams up with someone desperately trying to lose weight. I thought, Wow... they have reached a new low trying to get viewers here. That can't be healthy at all. Irene

Great topic. I personally choose to eat carbs, I don't look at them as evil or something I shouldn't ever eat. But honestly that's only because I can. Every BODY is different, and as people are learning themselves, their triggers and what makes them gain, they should listen. If carbs is a problem for said person, then they simply shouldn't have them as much. It's almost impossible to never ever have any carbs. But some work better on the lesser and some such as myself do fine with a one third diet. One third fats and the rest Protein. I am a very well balanced eater. But then again it's also important I'm eating the right kind of carbs too. Carbs coupled with nutrition our bodies need, as I have the Bypass now and I have to be careful to ensure I'm getting all of my nutrients, along with supplements on top of that. I slacked a little bit in the recent past and it left me feeling bad and tired. I've been picking it back up and amazingly I seem to be feeling a lot better... The the answer is that my attitude toward carbs is: Cautious.

Thank you! But those looks are thanks to the Sleeve. The enjoyment of life is from the Bypass, so both are in thanks. They are both good and viable choices for the right people. Irene You look fantastic!!!Sometimes 3 is a charm!!!:-)

I also have had all three WLS procedures. The Lap Band in 2/2008, the Sleeve in 9/2010 and then the Bypass in 7/2014. I personally have nothing bad to say about the Sleeve, except I ended up with severe GERD. I lost a lot of weight with it, but needed to revise to keep my food down so to speak. I'm doing well with the Bypass. My GERD is gone and my blood sugar and blood pressure are both excellent. Even my cholesterol. The choice belongs to the OP, and I only hope that she does as much research as she can. It's an individual decision and only she can make it the right one for herself.