coops... my dear friend. It's there, you just need to know where to look.
Here's my opinion, now it could be or could not be the case. Regardless here is what I think: I think you are placing WAY too much emphasis on what could or should be and not enough on the here and now.
What I mean is, live for today. Don't fight against tomorrow or the future. I cannot tell you how much RELIEF I felt when I finally gave up on all the time related challenges and weight loss goals. I know that is ultimately what you are going after... but maybe changing the type of goals you are setting for yourself will make the world of difference.
Maybe instead of weight goals, make inch goals or clothing goals.
Instead of challenges for Christmas, maybe make workout goals.
Instead of focusing so much on the goals so far ahead, instead focus on the one right in front of you.
I absolutely could not in good sanity think so far ahead. I'm pretty sure most here already know what I think about BMI's. But guess what? I'm but a hop skip and a jump away from breaking below 25. So I will be considered normal. I never thought so far ahead that I really let that set into my mind and let that bring me down. I can't. I had WAYYYYY too far to go. I used to be nearly a 53 BMI. It still doesn't mean that much to me, I'm just saying, I always picked one battle at a time.
Something about me is that I'm an extremely impatient person. I want it all and I want it now. I would drive myself NUTSO!!! if I thought about all the millions of goals I set for myself. One mountain at a time is all I can handle.
THAT is how I always kept my motivation throughout my long long journey.
Hugs. Remember: One mountain at a time.
ETA: I cannot respond on the menopause issues, but I'll listen to any advice you get! LOL