ginnyt102

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Hello! Welcome to my blog. I’m Ginny and I’m fat. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
Tomorrow I am changing that. Tomorrow I am going in for lap band surgery. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
This blog will be my journal. My highs and lows, successes and failures (hopefully not many of those), and just anything else I may need to jot down. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
I don’t plan to accomplish anything with this blog, other than an outlet for my own thoughts, but should you find yourself stumbling into my little corner of the interwebs, feel free to ask questions if you have any. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
So…how’d I get here? What made me decide to do this? I’ve always been a bigger girl than my peers. I “blossomed” early, way before the other girls my age. Coming from a family where tall was normal, I shot up to 5’8” by the age of 12. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
The smallest size I remember being was a size 12, and that was 8th grade. It’s funny, now I would LOVE to be a size 12, and I wondered why a size 12 felt so fat to me back then, but now it’s a goal. Well…when you’re a size 12 in women’s sizes and all of your friends are still in misses…12 feels fat. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
That’s how I’ve always felt…fat. My grandmother would say “you’re a pretty girl but you’d be so much prettier if you just lost some weight.” Gee thanks grams! [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
So I tried. I was athletic in high school and sure I was bigger, but I didn’t feel FAT until someone pointed it out. After high school I wasn’t as athletic, and my genes took over. I found myself in a constant battle to keep control of my weight. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
I tried LOTS of things. This diet where you don’t eat after 6 and then you drink a shot of this weird tasting stuff, I tried those infomercial 6 week miracle plans, I tried the protein diet, the Atkins, calorie counting, and old fashioned eating right and working out. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
I actually enjoyed working out too. I found a great specialized small group gym and I loved it…but I never LOST anything. I felt stronger, sure…but i didn’t enjoy how I looked in the mirror. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
I’d thought about lap band a few times. My family seems to be prone to weight gain in their 30’s. My dad and his brothers all started gaining. My dad is 6’8” and for a large part of my life I knew him as overweight. He had the same struggles I did, and finally it came to a point where he had to do something drastic or risk much more serious health problems. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
My dad had gastric bypass surgery when I was a sophomore in college. Suddenly things were different. The weight seemed to just melt off and he was feeling much better. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
My parents always encouraged me to work on my weight so I wouldn’t have to get to a point my dad did. They’ve seen me struggle and have been supportive and encouraging. Finally my mom asked me if I had considered lap band. Well…of course I had, but I have horrible insurance. I’d never thought to ask for help. Fortunately my mom decided to bring up the topic and let me know that they were willing to help me if it was something I wanted. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
So… here I am. The night before I go in for surgery. I’ve never had surgery, but I don’t feel scared. I’m anxious. I’m ready to start a new life. There were things I was starting to give up. Tank tops, shorts, love, swimsuits…well, I’m only 31, it’s much too early to give up on those things. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
I am scared. I’m scared that just losing weight won’t make things better. I know a lot of it has to do with me, not just my weight. I HOPE that losing the weight that has been the central point of my insecurities will give me the extra confidence I’ve been missing. [/font][/color][color=#444444][font='Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
I don’t know what will happen, but I’m going to try. So…here I sit, ready for what lies ahead. I’m excited. And my dog needs to pee. See you after surgery![/font][/color]