I had surgery exactly 2 wks ago today. I can't help but think I'm jumping the gun going back to work (this coming from the woman who asked her surgeon if it was possible to get back to work in ONE week, now suddenly I wish I had two more weeks!). I had mush brain for most of the afternoon. I had to sit through a reallllly stupid meeting for an hour and a half this morning and I basically spent the entire day resisting the urge to run out of the building and never come back.
I don't know if it's a coincidence or what, but after feeling great for about a week, I get back to work today and had a LOT pain on my left hand side. I think it's from the office chairs at work, which have always been uncomfortable. They are not built for fat people, let me tell you. I always feel like I'm spilling out of the thing and that it's not long enough in the seat to sit in any comfortable way. Well, with all the repositioning I have to do all day in that chair, I think it took its toll and my left side of by belly was aching by mid-morning.
I hate my job. Actually, my actual JOB is something I enjoy, I just really dislike the company and management. If I could work from home, I'd never leave my job!! Being away from it really amplified that fact, because going back felt like a shock to my system. I missed having a nap, I missed being able to sleep in, I missed being able to wear comfy pajamas all day. Basically, I missed being on leave!
In the back of my mind, when I decided to have this surgery, I said "When I lose some weight, I'm looking for a new job."
I went on a few interviews in the past year or so and always get passed over. I even had an interview at a company that a fellow coworker also interviewed for. She was not as qualified as I am, had way less experience, and I can only conclude that she got the job because she's thin and pretty. I don't mean to sound hateful, she was one of my closest work buddies and I miss her, but it just seemed like that's what got her hired. I remember going to that interview and not seeing a single fat woman there. That's just the society we live in. All of the jobs I've gotten, I was interviewed by an overweight woman. All the jobs I DON'T get are when I'm interviewed by a man or by a thin woman.
No, I didn't have this surgery to find a job. But I think if I can be slimmer, dress better and have more confidence, I'll be headed in the right direction to getting a new gig. Hopefully one that pays as well, because money is THE ONLY thing keeping me at my current job! :\
That was an unexpected tangent - but I can also share that I've moved on to the next diet stage, which includes soft meats like fish and deli meat. I haven't tried fish yet (not a huge fan, but would like to try it), but the deli turkey is working out great. I can have 1 or 2 slices and feel full. I haven't felt any hunger yet, but I am still fighting the urge to eat cuz I'm bored. That should calm down now that I'm back and work and out of the house most of the day. It was tough not reverting to old habits when I was just lounging around the house for days on end! Thankfully, even if I did eat out of boredom, I can eat so little that it's not a huge impact. Everything is going into MFP - I promised myself that I would track better after surgery, and I have.
I'm getting in about 800-1000 cals and 90-110g protein per day. Part of me thinks that is too much/too soon, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not. I don't plan to bump my calories up too much as I move through the stages, and I'm happy that I'm not struggling with the protein. Everything I have tried has gone down just fine. I've had a bit of gas here and there, but I just burp and feel fine. No pain, no vomiting or over stuffing myself yet. Been feeling okay overall... just bummed I'm not independently wealthy.
I've lost 21lbs since surgery 2 wks ago, but after the first week (which was mostly gas/fluids/swelling, my weight loss has slowed down. It's been 1lb every other day. I KNOWWW that's not bad, but considering that I started with a high BMI, I was hoping to be one of those folks whose weight slides right off. We'll see what happens. I'm hoping my soreness in my tummy with fade in the next 2 weeks so I can REALLY hit it at the gym. I feel like I can't even walk that fast right now because my belly moves around and hurts to much.
Well, I'm going to try for that nap I've been wishing for all day! Hope all my fellow May sleevers are doing well!
