paula

My husband has a problem with anger. He's very pessimistic, seems to always be SO unhappy, never smiles and seldom laughs, gripes/hollers at the kids for the smallest things, keyed up all the time, plus the tension is causing him trouble sleeping, headaches AND HBP. If only he could relax, mellow out, loosen up. Beer helps, he becomes jolly and light, but then he dives down and becomes a bear! He's had these issues for ever, but a couple of years ago he became much worst and his doctor put him on paxil (after several attemps of other meds). It helped... for awhile it was better, but slowly faded in effectivness. Back to the doctor and an increase in paxil. The med increase doesnt seem to be helping much. He's even tried the herbals - St johns wort, hops, flax seed oil, cal-mag..... the list goes on. Some things help for a while - some do nothing. Im coming here for advice on what/how to encourage him to handle this. He has problems but is scared to be labeled a freak. And everytime he/we've been to a professional counselor we usually walk away knowing more then they do and have tried eveything suggested. So - What is Anger Management classes? Anyone have any experiences with this? And is there anything else that I could recommend to him that would help? I am very humbled to submit thread this for the world to read - Im usually way more private then this. But maybe there is someone out there with the right suggestion... please give me some feedback - even if you pm me. Thanks y'all.

Hi Kiana, WELCOME to Bandland. Yep! Very normal... its the sounds of your body adjusting to a new formed tummy. You may want to start taking walks - it may help settle down the strange noises AND will help you pass the gas from surgery. ((hugs)) the hard part is over - getting banded!

Hey Heather! Boy, you DO need a vaca. You know there's a Tropical Storm brewing towards the Gulf right now, right? Chris. Just be careful on your travels home, k? (another thing to think about:tired ) And dont worry about his parents, they'll be ok! ~ On this end, we have sad news unfolding.. our pastor/priest hasnt been feeling well since around Nov-Dec time with no real diagnosis. Since Sat. night he's been in ICU and weve learned that he has cancer - everywhere... has a week to live. He is only 57 yrs old. What's special about this priest is that he is a married priest, he has a wife and 2 grown sons. He was a pastor in another denomin. and converted into the church. Mike is super close to this priest, he's taking this news hard. Other then this, school starts in 2 weeks :clap2: Busy buying supplies and uniforms, bringing back stuff that doesnt fit, getting kids to try on and try more stuff on... today its shoe day. Going buy school shoes, another adventure ~ yippie! :eek: I think its easier bringing a family of baboons to the store - then MY kids. :tired Hey - you asked!

Hey Trish-a-ronie! how's the wound? btw: where's the avator? I miss seeing you :hippie:

That IS good news regarding your band... so, are you completely unfilled now? Hey wait, whats that sound... ? "Back-yard Bur-gers.. Back-yard Bur-gers.. Back-yard Bur-gers.." :biggrin1:

Hey Neighbor - could y'all sleep last night?? Bet you stayed up all night re-decorating :biggrin1: Congrat's on the closing!:clap2:

Diane - funny how a support group of people where most members have NEVER met each - are all so close in spirit. I think about you often, and the cross you carry. ((((HUGE HUGS)))))

Saul, before this thread gets too old, It's bugged me-to-death that I needed to acknowledge your post and Thank you for sharing your story with me and everyone else. It takes a strong person (but most esp. a man!) to admit they have a problem -and- and even stronger one to seek help. You are an extraordinary MAN for doing this. My husband isnt as willing.. Diane & Bettina, Thanks for the diet suggestion. Unfortunately the foods you suggested that he omit from his diet are the only ones he eats! *BiG sigh* Very likely the reason he has problems - but a diet change is something HE will have to decide on. Ive tried in the past and he actually chose to starve then eat other things! Pat, effexor? Im going google it to see what this is. He's tried other things in the past, but Paxil has seemed to help the most - until now. And I cracked up about your idea of me ~ Boy, do I have you fooled :biggrin1: Leatha, as always - you are awesome! Im going to books a Million today and search for the book you recommened. But.. should I be the one to read it? Or Asshole Mike? oh - think Alanon has a babysitting service for those that attend? dotofoz, I like that idea - A mood disorder clinic? I wonder if its on the same line as the 12 step programs? anyone else heard of this? Kathy,...helped me to realize how controlling I was being under the guise of Love. I'd have never thought I was being so manipulative, Ive been pondering this line since yesterday. making me think..

ooohhhhhhh - so this is an old injury, 3 years ago? I just responded to your other thread. Gosh, these pics make my stomach hurt. glad you are recovered!

Donna, My husband doesnt say anything about color or decorating. My taste is more neutral/warm tones - definately generic when it comes to gender. So.. since Im not one for the "girly-girl" kinda decoratoring (for example: pink/lavander/white lacey-frilly-flower stuff all over) I guess he feels safe?

Sherry, Im like the others - I have NO idea what caused this. Those legs look horrible ~ are you in much pain? Please be careful! ((hugs))

((((RYAN)))) you are having an enormous amount of prayers lifted in your name... God bless. Greg - please keep us updated on his recovery, thanks ole' Friend!

are you sure its not a stomach bug causing the nausea this time? Hey, I know its kinda early, but can I sign up for your book An Opaque Crystal ? :biggrin1: :biggrin1:

Youve done an amazing job - big Congrat's!

Michelle, the paxil helped relax him - at first. When he first started it he wasnt as sensitive or quick to anger - it calmed him down, just took the edge off. Happy days were here cause I would hear him laughing - I thought the paxil was a miracle drug for him. His headaches were better and he slept much better. But if he missed his dosage (10mg at the time) even HE noticed his anger. As time went on the headaches came back, trouble sleeping started again along with the anger issues. So his internist increased his dosage to 20mg - this was around March? Again - he started sleeping better, less headaches, but not like the major change from when he first started taking it. And yes - he has a serious mood disorder. Always has - even his mom told me that.

Hey Guys, y'all gave SO many great responses and recommendations - I thank you for each one. Without giving too many more details, Im going to send pm's to those that I need additional info from. ((hugs)) back to all of you... You are all true friends!

As always - LBT to the rescue. You guys are awesome! Im going look up the CODA site you mentioned Barb. - Thanks! Jane, is you're hubby's name Mike? LOL - I -honestly- believe that this behavoir isnt their fault. Something in their chemical structure is'nt right! Pray for me - and I'll pray for you, k? And with sharing knowledge we're gonna get these men on the right track! Donna, *big sigh* just know that when I come to LBT and post something like this its cause Im in desperate need of advice. Im to the point that I literally HATE going anywhere with him - he is too embarrassing to be around (being loud, impatient, fussing at me & the kids). Sat night we went with friends to a resturant - Mike had SO many flare-ups that my girlfriend kept looking at me with concern and finally asked, "Is he still taking his paxil?". These are our best friends - so there was no offesnse taken. But his behavoir is SO obvious to everyone around. I need help - HE needs help. So like I said, LBT to the rescue! ((hugs)) sister - we're all on this merry-go-round called LIFE - together! Thanks again everyone. Im going check my pm's now.

I had to laugh. If ANYONE knows how you feel - its me! In 2003 we bought another home. I 'special ordered' (cant return special orders) a sofa with matching chair and ottoman. Waited and waited for it to come in... When they delivered it my mouth dropped open. The sofa was enormous! Didnt even fit in the space I had been planning for it to live in. So I can totally relate! Your new furniture IS beautiful, but I agree with everyone else. What I first noticed in your pix were the white walls and very dark wood. Bringing the tone of the walls down a little will soften the room. And YES! Change the furniture around (had to do this with my sofa). You may need to grab all the extra men in the neighborhood to do this - cause that wood aint light! Thanks for sharing.

Where's Jamie/Jammin & Losin? Her profile says that she hasnt been here in nearly a month. She's crossed my mind several times this weekend... sure hope she's ok.

Hi Schel, Sorry to hear you are feeling yucky. Ive had a stomach bug a couple of times during my banded career. Like you, I had diarrhea - no vomiting (extreme nausea though). The only thing I could tolerate was warm/hot chicken broth * sip sip away * and pop sickles. ...Oh, and lots of rest and sleep. Hope you feel better soon.

A BIG Amen to this. Cant wait to see you on the before and after thread - you are going to be an awesome success story! Here's to a happy and healthy healing!

walked! Its the best exercise until your surgeon clears you.

Hey Trash mouth! What's up with this... 179.0current? oh geez. You gonna start this crap up again and make me break out the diet pills. :biggrin1: You CANT weigh less then me. Im really happy for you... I think. :nervous

Guess what??? (Im about to pee my pants - cant wait to tell all of you about this) I started my Christmas shopping today. :clap2: no lie! Our Target store had a load of toys 75% off. The My Bling Bling barbie doll was $3.74..... how could I pass this up? So I bought 4. (I bought other things too, but this was the most exciting one) Christmas is ONLY 150 days :biggrin1: Merry Christmas to all my Freak-a-zoid friends!

Im glad I did something when I did. When I had my surgery the thought of having an RnY scared me. So even though I dont regret getting the band, I WILL convert to something else if anything goes awry. If anything, the band made me less fearful of having something more aggressive done later.