mumof2boys

I couldn't agree with you more. He has severed ALL contact with her. She has text messaged him (last week) and he immediately called me and forwarded it to me. Neither of us responded. She's a complete piece of S&*T and enjoys saying horrible things to me. I do not think that her husband knows and I tried calling him last week to tell him but she wouldn't answer the phone. She's a liar and a coward. My husband has even offered to change his email address, his work email address and his cell phone number (both personal and work). He is trying very hard to make this work so I have to give him credit where credit is due. If he continues to treat me the way that he has been for the past week or so, it will show my boys how to be wonderful husbands because my husband has truly been kissing my behind (as he should be). He says nothing when I go out with friends, he occupies the boys when I breakdown crying and he has brought my roses and cleaned the house. So...this is a HUGE step for him. He had completely withdrawn from me over the past two years and I can slowely start to feel a reconnection. Keep your fingers crossed for me that if this works, it will be the best marriage ever and if it doesn't that we will at least have a good communication between us for the sake of the kids. Hugs from all are welcome and well wishes, too. Thanks everyone!!!!

I know it's not about me but the hurt still feels terrible. He has many issues to work through and he's the one who has to try his hardest to make this work. I cannot settle for anything less than being treated like gold. I will not have my kids grow up in a house that isn't anything but filled with love and respect. Even though I know I had nothing to do with his terrible decision to take on a relationship with this dirty ho...it doesn't lessen the pain that it has caused me. I never thought that I would ever be such an emotional wreck but now I am and I have to deal with it. :wink2:

I agree. I have told my husband that one of two things will come of this. 1) Divorce or 2) the best, most honest, respectful, love-filled marriage on the planet. I will settle for nothing less. So...I am willing to give it a shot but I guarantee absolutely NOTHING. This is a very difficult thing for me to deal with right now and I completely hate the person that I have become because of it. I was always the life of the party...the outgoing one. Now...I'm a depressed, crying mess. I hate it so much. One minute I'm screaming at him (when the kids aren't around) and the next minute I'm out of control crying. I really don't know how this thing is going to end. I told him that things will never be the same. I will never be the same person. I have been betrayed by the one person in this world who should never hurt me. He's the one that I go to when something is wrong or I'm hurting about something but this time, he's the one who caused the hurt. I told him that he needs to act as if we just met and he needs to make me fall in love with him all over again. He needs to sweep me off of my feet. If he doesn't or if he can't...I'm gone. I need to do what is best for me and my boys and I'm hoping that I end up making the right decision. I thank everyone for their support. It truly means the world to me. I couldn't imagine going through this by myself. :wink2:

Thanks to everyone for all of the prayers and support. This is by far the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. It just hurts so much I can't stand it. We are in marriage counseling and it's going alright but it just doesn't ease the pain. My husband is trying very hard to make it better for me but I can't get the images out of my head and on top of that the other woman is just a piece of trash (aren't all cheaters). She laughs at me on the telephone like I'm a big joke. She gets complete joy out of hurting me. She even went as far as calling my boss last week and said that I was harassing her (I called her house to speak to her husband). I have now fallen into a state of depression :thumbup: and our marriage counselor suggested that I go to a shrink so I can get medication. I already take Xanax for my anxiety but I cannot control my crying outburst and they are worried about me. I swore that I would never stay with someone who did this to me and now it's my reality and it completely sucks. I look at my little boys and I don't want them to grow up in a house without a father so I'm giving it all I have to try to make it work but it's not easy. The pain is just terrible and I don't understand why people don't think before acting on infidelity. My husband keeps saying..."I didn't mean to hurt you". Well hell...did you think I was going to have a party when I found out? Did you think that I would never find out? I can't believe that so many people go through this. It should be a crime for someone to commit adultry and they should all be locked up. Thanks again everyone...the outpouring of support from everyone here, at home and on the other site that I joined is incredible and it truly helps me and I thank you for that. Keep sending good vibes my way because believe me...I NEED IT!!!

Well...the weekend went alright until last night when I started again with my out of the blue crying. I think that I'm falling into a deep depression and it's killing me. I can't believe that he has done this to me. I never expected such behavior from him. I truly thought that this is the one thing that I would never have to worry about. Does the pain ever go away? Does it ever get better? Anyone out there go through this and have their marriage work? I have told him that one of two things will happen. 1) Divorce or 2) the best, most honest, kick-ass marriage on the planet. Damn...this sucks. I truly appreciate everyones support. I will not let this break me. Either way I will come out a stronger person and I will have a wonderful life...with or without him in it. All good wishes and prayers and welcome!!!

Actually, I have already joined survivinginfidelity.com...that's why I haven't been here in a while. I can't stop crying today and I can't get rid of this anger...I hate this so much!!!!

I too have always said that if my husband cheated, that's the one deal breaker for me. Now...it's my reality. I won't stay together for the kids, but I'll attempt to work it out in order for them to have a stable home. I refuse to stay married to a liar and cheater but if during our counseling, I begin to trust and love him again, then maybe. If I didn't have children, I would have filed for divorce the following day...no thinking twice. My parents are divorced and I want to at least say that I gave it my all to try to save the marriage no matter how sick the sight of him makes me feel right now. Oh...this truly sucks!!!

Thank you everyone. I am having a really tough time of it these past couple of days. I sit at my desk at work and I cry. I cannot believe that my entire world is changed forever. Did I mention that the skank is also married with 3 kids? How in the world can another woman do that? Am I from another planet or something. The pain is just unbearable and it's not fair. The confidence that I have built in myself over the last year while losing weight has been destroyed. I find myself going out on the weekends because I get complimented by other men about how good I look. I would never act on any of those invitations to leave with anyone, but the compliments sure are nice. At this point, I don't feel that I could ever be intimate with my husband again. The thought of it just makes me sick to my stomach. The week that he told me I lost 11 pounds. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep...I didn't go to work. Why do so many people do this and don't blink and eye and then when they get caught.... "But I love you...I want this to work...I NOW realize the consequences of my actions". Jesus...can't you think of that prior to doing her? I am no longer wearing my wedding rings because they mean absolutely NOTHING to me. He looked me in my eye and said, "Tina, take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity". Well hell...that was a lie...I have told him that those rings will NEVER go back on my finger. They are tainted because he lied. People have told me that it gets better as time goes by but for me right now I just can't take it. The one person that I run to in times of need is the one who hurt me. I feel so alone.

Banded 4/30/07...have lost 106 pounds.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I wanted to reach that 100 pounds gone by my one year anniversary and I did it. Woo Hoo....It feels awesome!!! Hopefully I can get this last 25-30 off and it's off to the plastic surgeon to get this horrible skin off of my mid section. What a Christmas present that would be, huh?

Welcome. I was banded last year on April 30. What a year it's been...never in a million years thought that I could say that I've lost over one hundred pounds. Good luck on your journey!!!

From my personal experience, I can tell you that I have not been drunk since I got my band. I drink (usually Mike's Hard Light Lemonade) and I can usually go through 5 or 6 of them and I am not drunk. So...I haven't noticed a difference in how much I can or cannot drink.

Hi everyone...I have switched my food addiction to a photo addiction. After my workout last night, my kids took my picture (in my workout gear). I'm shocked...I'm almost at the 100 pound loss and I am just really pleased with my progress. I wanted to share my most recent pics. What do you think????

Thanks everyone!!! What exercise do I do? Well...I do water aerobics and the only other thing that I have been doing is walking/jogging. I am training for my upcoming 60 mile walk in the 3 day breast cancer walk. It's in October and I have to train for it. From what I hear...if you don't train properly you can get terrible blisters and can be in quite a bit of pain. So....I'm going to try to avoid that at all costs. Hopefully by October I will be real close to goal. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!:huh2:

Thanks everyone!!! I can't wipe this smile off of my face...:biggrin2:I can't wait to write soon that I have reached 100 pounds gone forever. I'm working really hard to get there.

Thanks...reaching a 100 pound weight loss is my next "major" goal. I want to get there by 4/30/08...my one year "band"iversary. It's going to be hard, but I'm up for the challenge. I need to up my exercise and I think I'll be able to do it. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!

Hi there thirties...I got a new haircut last night and when I got home, my boys wanted to take pictures. I couldn't believe that they were me. I actually looked "skinny". Tell me what you think...the first picture is my "before" picture (April 2007), the other two were last night. Sorry that they are a little blurry...my boys are 5 and 7...a little shaky taking pictures.

Laura, Where did you get information regarding any company in Maryland with over 50 employees MUST cover bariatric surgery? What about exclusions? My friend has been trying for about two years and her insurance won't pay for it. I'm sure that the company that she works for has at least 50 employees. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Welcome and congratulations on your success to date. I too live and work in the DC area. I live in Waldorf, MD and was banded in DC. Good luck on your journey.

I too started losing my hair at 4-6 months after surgery and was told by my doctor that it was lack of protein. Guess what...here I am at 11 months out and it's falling out again...guess I'm slacking on my protein. I certainly have not had any surgery since last year. So...gotta stack up on the protein again.

I never stopped taking my pill. I didn't have to. The doctor said I would be fine and I was. Also...I have had NO problems with any kind of pills. I notice that others take liquid or crush pills. I have taken some pretty big pills and have had no problems. Good luck.

Glad you're feeling better. It's funny that you say that you don't see how people can slime and PB all the time. I felt the same way after my one and only PB. It happened a month ago (10 months after surgery for me). It was so uncomfortable and aweful, I just couldn't imagine doing it again. I will avoid it at all costs. As far as eggs go...the only kind that I can eat are over easy. Scrambled eggs went out the window months ago. Good luck on your "re" fills.

Hi there and welcome. You have come to the right place for support and friendship. Here's my story (in a nutshell). I was overweight the majority of my live (just like everyone else) and it was totally getting out of control. I have two children and I hated the fact that I didn't feel like going outside to play with them and if I did I was winded very quickly. I hated that I could barely tie my shoes because my stomach was in the way and I hated to leave my house for fear that people would look at me and think..."what has she done to herself". I wouldn't attend parties with my husband...I would just sit in the house and eat and eat some more. I ballooned to 275 pounds. I had enough! It was time to do something about it. I had lapband surgery on April 30, 2007. Today I am 91 pounds lighter. The scales now read 184. What a great feeling. I no longer shop in the PLUS size at the store...I can walk into a store, pick something up and buy it. It's great. I walk, jog, run, jump rope and just about anything else that I want to do. I feel good and I know that I look much better. Congratulations on your decision to get banded. You should absolutely love it. I know that I do.

I eat everything that you listed as a "no". In fact, just today I had a Smartfood White Cheddar cheese bag of popcorn for a snack and for lunch I had a Smart Ones Chicken Parmesagna (pasta with melted cheese). It takes a little longer to eat but I can do it. I also eat salads all the time. Did you question your doctor as to why you were told not to eat those things?