mumof2boys

Thanks everyone. I am scared of the procedure but I think to myself that I didn't come this far to not be completely satisfied. I'm not going after perfection, but I do want to be comfortable in my own skin. I think that I'm going to go for it. It's a lot of money but I think it will be well worth it. I'm going to wait until probably next February or March. I want to get to my goal and stay there for a bit (plus I will need my income tax return). Again, thanks everyone!!!

I may eventually, but it has nothing to do with my band. I recently found out that my wonderful husband has cheated on me (more than once) during our marriage of ten years. I'm crushed but we are both currently trying to save our marriage but there are not promises made to him. It's a very difficult time and I'm trying to hang on. I'm sorry that you are going through what you are going through...Hugs to you.

Well hello, my friends. I'm back. I have been gone for a while...took the kids to Disney World and then I was home with them for a week because my daycare provider was on vacation. So...that's why I haven't posted. Disney World was great. The kids had a wonderful time. It was my oldest sons birthday and he got to spend it at Magic Kingdom. How great is that? My husband and I got along pretty well and I think all in all everyone had a great vacation. My kids said that it was the best time that they have ever had. OK...here's the latest...I have learned (through my own sneaky research) that the other woman has moved five states away. I didn't think that they were still talking or seeing each other but this certainly did relieve me a bit. I still have my moments...don't get my wrong. I am still obsessing about the whole thing but hopefully in time things will get better. Last week I took my boys out and we had professional pictures taken (I didn't tell my husband). I framed a 5x7 and put it in a gift bag. I made him a card and on the inside, I wrote: "Here's a little something for your desk to remind you of those that love you and those that you can lose". He was very touched and almost cried. The picture turned out GREAT!!! So...that's the latest on that issue. Now...I go tomorrow for my consultation with the plastic surgeon. This morning I hit 155 (down 120 pounds). I wanted to be at 145 at the time of my appointment but vacation didn't help with that. I'm 15 pounds away from my goal. I would LOVE to get there before I do the breast cancer 3 day walk. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Well...thanks so much everyone for being here for me. You really have no idea how much it means to me. All of the support is unbelievable. Thanks!!!!!

Hey there...here I am. Sorry I haven't written in a while. So...here's the latest. Last week was a great week. We got along really well, had great conversation, went out Saturday night and had a great time. Now...fast forward to yesterday...there was a point in the day that I didn't get an answer on his cell phone or his blackberry and I started freaking out (remember, the other woman used to work with him...she is no longer in that building). I was blowing the cell phone up. I truly did go overboard. I accused him of being with someone else and not answering the phone. He completely defended himself and I was totally wrong. This morning, I sent him an email to apologize for my overreaction and his response was, "Don't worry about it, you don't have to apologize for your actions. I'm the one that should apologize for all I have done to you and I am truly sorry. I will do my best to help you re-gain your trust in me. I love you and I hope today is better for you than yesterday!" So...today is much better. I explained to him that it's going to take time and of course when I cannot reach him I freak. I told him that I will try to control it better next time. The bad thing...it was only a matter of minutes, it wasn't hours that I couldn't get him. It's just very hard to deal with it all but I think that we are getting somewhere. We are going out on a "date" this Saturday. We're going to dinner and a movie. The kids are staying the night at my brother and sister-in-laws house. So...we are attempting to make new memories but I have told him that there are still many unanswered questions that I need to get answered. We are nowhere near putting this behind us, simply taking it one day at a time.So...on another note...157 this morning...17 pounds from goal. The other good news...I have an appointment with a PS on August 13. I'm going to try my hardest to get to 145 by then. If I really put my mind to it, I can do it.Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers. They must really be working because I think that I'm getting better. You guys are great to talk to and it's nice to know that you all are always available.

Good morning friends. Thanks again for being here for me. You all have NO idea what it means to me. OK...me and hubby had a long, emotional talk last night. It was refreshing and I think that we may be beginning to get somewhere. My husband is not a very good communicater and that is something that he is working on. I know that he has trouble with it so I'm being very patient. I do think that he's very sorry for what he has done and he's trying to figure out why he let himself get to that point. He has told me that he never intended to leave me, he did not want to replace me. Believe me...we have a very long road ahead of us that is going to take patience. I thank everyone for being so wonderful to me and for anyone else who is going through this like I am...hang in there...do what you have to do to make yourself feel better. So...on another note...this morning I was 159. Woo Hoo...I wanted to get out of the 160s so bad and I'm there. I'm 19 pounds from my goal. I'm determined to get there and get there soon. Keep rooting for me. Thanks again!!!

Hello everyone. I have had a couple of good days. Yeah me!!! Last nights therapy went well and he's finally beginning to open up. For some reason he's scared to talk to me but he's starting to feel more comfortable to talk in front of someone. That's a little refreshing but I'm still worried that there is so much more to all of this that I don't know about yet. I guess only time will tell. Plus...my shrink upped my dose so I think that my moods are starting to mellow out and get level (hopefully). My rage fits scare me...I can only imagine what they do to him. On another note...went for a fill this morning so I'm on the lovely liquids for a while. I told the doctor that I want to get my tummy cut off and he FINALLY gave me a card for someone to call. He wouldn't do that before but since I'm getting really close to my goal he was willing to give me a name. Woo Hoo...Wish me luck on these last 20-25 pounds. He said once I level off for about 3-6 months that would be a good time to go for plastic surgery. I'm thinking that this will be my last fill for a while. I haven't had a fill in almost 6 months so I should be real good with this one. I want to thank everyone for being here for me during this very difficult time (Boo Boo...I will probably give you a call sometime...thanks). Everyone is so very supportive and I truly appreciate it all. You really have no idea. Well...thanks again and let's keep this thing rolling...I will need support for a LONG time.

Thanks everyone. I have had a rough couple of days but today I feel like a new person. After many, many tears and screams last night I think that I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to move on. I do not think that my husband understands the devastation that he has caused and he is not giving it the attention that it needs. I don't think that he will ever truly change, nor do I think that he "truly" wants to be with me. I think that he feels it's the right thing to do. I think that he would rather be with anyone who will take him (sexually) rather than a committed marriage. I cannot deal with that and I cannot go out in public with him feeling comfortable in my own skin knowing that he is thinking about having sex with every woman in the room. I need to be his focus of attention and I'm not. I need to be his queen and I'm not. He may disagree with me but that's how I feel. I have advised him time and time again that at this point in my life, I need reassurance every moment of every day that this is truly what he wants and I just don't feel it from him. I can raise my kids by myself and they will have a happy, healthy life. I feel strong today...who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Thanks, everyone. Believe me when I say that my anger is definitely aimed toward my husband. My intentions in calling her husband has nothing to do with hurting her. I strongly feel that he has a right to know what is going on in his marriage. I only wish that someone had told me. I am not blaming her completely for what happened. I do, however, believe that some of the blame rest on her shoulders as well because she knew full well that he was married. I think that both of them are horrible, horrible people for what they have done. I take no blame off of my husband. He made his own decisions and now he must face the consequences. I thought that each day would get better but it just doesn't seem to be working out that way. I am really having a hard time with all of this. We are in therapy and it's alright, but I just don't know if I can ever get past this. It's just the most horrible feeling that I have ever had. I am still in great shock and still can't believe that any of this has happened to me. I have been with him for almost half of my life and I feel like I don't know him at all. I feel that he is truly trying to save the marriage but for some reason I just feel that there is so much more that I don't know and that the secrets are just going to kill me. Not one minute of one day goes by when I don't think about this. It has totally consumed everything about me. 24/7...all I think about is him and her. I also think about how it is so easy for him to lie to me and how I think that he will do it again. Do people ever really change?

No you did not just say that you are going to Vegas this weekend. Damn...I would love that. It's my favorite place on the earth (his too). I did just buy some plane tickets to go to Orlando next month and take the boys to Disney World. However...I bought a ticket for him too. The reason...I'm going for work for a conference. So...I can't be with the boys during the day. We're staying a couple of extra days and going to the parks. My oldest sons birthday is when we will be there so I thought it was the perfect opportunity. I do go out and do things by myself. This past weekend I went out to a bar by myself. Left the house with my jeans mini skirt and spandex top, looking pretty good. I had a blast. Plus...a couple of weeks after finding out, I went to Delaware to the outlets for shopping. I spent about $700. I plan on doing more of that too (since my clothes seem to be getting too big again). Funny story (not really...) I just went to Vegas in March and I took my mom because my husband said that he couldn't get off of work and we didn't have the money for it. Guess when the last time he met up with the whore??? March...he said that it wasn't when I was out of town but I don't believe a word out of his mouth. I have to say...he told me that she would get mad at him because he wouldn't meet her on the weekends and she asked him to go on a business trip to Arizona with her and he said "no". He didn't spend any of his "family" time with her. I think she was more of a cheap whore that he hooked up with while at work. It doesn't make it any easier, still very wrong but I don't think that she meant anything to him. I think that she was available and easy and that was that. She's a dirty rotten whore. One question...I have her husbands cell phone number. I'm dying to call him but don't know what to say. What do I do?

Hi there everyone. I have been laying low for a bit. I'm still discovering things about my husband that are completely devastating to me. I feel like I'm married to a murdered and don't even know it. You know what I'm talking about...you watch it on Lifetime all the time...the cops come to the door and arrest the husband for some crime and the wife is crying..."no...he didn't do it" and you say to yourself..."like you didn't know what was going on". Well...that's how I feel...like I don't know this man who is in my house. It's a horrible feeling and I find myself asking myself...why are you trying to make this work? Are you really willing to get past all of this crap? Do you really think that you will truly be happy with this man? Will you ever really trust him? Damn...can't they make this stuff easy for us? Why oh why do people cheat?????

Hey there everyone. Thanks for all of the prayers and words of wisdom. Yesterday I had an alright day because I tried to not let it bother me and I went on about my business. This morning, on the other hand...I'm having anxieties. I think it's because I'm going over to his work to meet him and an old neighbor of ours for lunch. The other woman used to work there and I know that his co-workers have to know that he was having an affair and if they see me, I'm going to feel like such a fool. UUUUGGGHHH.

OK...I'm back. Just when I thought that things were getting better...BAM...I catch him in another lie. I am done fighting, attempting to save a marriage that I didn't destroy. I have told him from the very beginning of all of this that he has to be completely honest with me, no matter how much he thinks his answers are going to hurt me. Well...apparently he doesn't know how to tell the truth and I caught him in another lie. I'm devastated all over again. I don't know what's going on with him. It's like he is two different people. So...when do I just throw in the towel and say, "hell with it"? I'm so confused right now...I just don't know what to think. Well...I can say one thing...no more sitting around pouting...I'm looking hotter than hell these days (if I do say so myself)...I have put a smile on my face and I'm strutting myself around. I will survive...one way or another...I will survive!!!

Thanks Boo Boo. You always know what to say. I'm going to try my very best to not think of her or the entire thing at all. It's going to be hard but I will put my best effort into it. I'm actually very nervous about going out of town. To top it off...we get back Saturday morning and are going to a wedding Saturday evening and that's going to be very hard too. Wish me luck with both!!!

Hi Star. I'll try to help you the best I can. I'm 14 months out and 110 pounds down. I'll answer all the questions that I can but you just have to remember that everyone is different. I'm here if you need me!!!

Well, my 10 year wedding anniversay is three days away. Not much to Celebrate but we are going out of town to try to create "new" memories. The thing for me right now is that it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I know that it takes time and I'm willing to give it as long as it needs but the pain has not eased up at all. I'm still having my crying bouts and the meds have not seemed to help with that. I also still have huge anxieties and that sucks. I hate relying on medication just to get through the day. I feel like a junkie. I had a horrible dream on Saturday night. I guess you could call it a nightmare. In the dream...SHE was at my sons birthday party. It was horrible. I don't even know what she looks like, but I know in my dream she was there. So...I had a crying bout Sunday morning. I hate it. I hate being like this. I want to see emotion in my husband and I want him to completely open up to me. He's a terrible communicator and I have known that from day one and he has gotten better. Perhaps I'm asking for too much too soon. I don't know. I'm just still in a state of confusion and I can't wait to get my head clear, even if it's for a day. Maybe I won't think much about it when we go out of town. Although...knowing that they went to hotels to do their business...I might have a problem being in a hotel with him. I have already warned him about this. Well...just want to continue to thank everyone for their support, prayers and well wishes...keep them coming...I need all I can get... Thanks so much!

Damn, damn, damn. So...I went to my shrink for my first appointment and I'm very disappointed. It only lasted 15 minutes (maybe because I was a new patient) but I discussed the whores husband and the fact that I have his number. He said not to call him and that I need to move forward. The other thing that he said was..."How old is your husband'. I told him that he's 37. Do you know what he said to me..."Yeah, unfortunately this happens all the time, it's like a midlife crisis and men do it all the time". WTF????? So that makes it ok? Damn...just give me the prescription for my meds and let me go on my way... I'm still on my rollercoaster ride and I hate it. I know that takes a long time but it doesn't seem to be easing up at all. I told my husband that he needs to sweep me off of my feet and although he has been very nice, I'm still waiting for him to get that broom and start sweeping. In order for this to work for me...he has to change a lot and I'm not sure that he can do that. They should put all cheaters on an island and just let them all have each other so that those of us who are faithful don't have to worry about getting mixed up with some dumb as lying cheater (gosh...did that sound harsh??? Maybe I'm going to have another bad day :confused2:)

OK...the reason that I "want" to tell him is because I wish someone would have told me. Perhaps it wouldn't have gone on as long as it did and things would be better for me now. Plus...SHE informed my husband that her huband already knows. I think that she's lying and was attempting to get my husband to leave me to be with her (fat chance). Anyway...I don't want to hurt anyone. The pain that I have endured from this aweful experience, I do not wish upon anyone. However, I just feel that he has a right to know. I don't know what I would say to him and I still don't know what I'm going to do. So...I'm still undecided.

Hey there...didn't post anything yesterday because I was on a field trip with my oldest son. I think that I really needed that. It took my mind off of it for a while. I only had to take one Xanax yesterday. My husband called me several times throughout the day (from a land-line), reassuring me that he WAS at work. I have to admit he is truly trying. I have never seen this side of him. He has invited me to go out of town with him for our anniversary. Although I don't feel like there's anything to Celebrate, I'm going with him. It sucks because I wanted our 10 year anniversary to be much different then it's going to end up being, but I'll make the best of it. I cannot believe how many people have been through this horrible experience. For those that have, I have a question. The other woman (I have other words for her, but I'll be nice today) told my husband that her husband found out and that's why my husband ended up telling me (he thought her husband was going to tell me). Anyway...I think she's telling a huge lie. I have found her husbands cell phone number and I called it to confirm it was his. It went to voice mail and sure enough...it's him. So...here's my question...do I tell him? Do I talk to him about it? They have three children together. If he doesn't know I think that he has a right to know. I would also like for HER to feel some of the pain that I am going through. I don't want her children to suffer but I have a feeling that my husband wasn't her first affair and I'm sure it won't be her last. Plus...she gets a huge kick out of hurting me by saying aweful things to me and laughing at me. So...do I call and talk to him? What do I say? How do I begin the conversation? I'm so nervous I could vomit. Any and all suggestions are welcome!!! Thanks guys...you rock!

Hello everyone. This question is not for me, but for a friend. I have already been banded, but my friend has a different insurance company and has been told in the past that they only cover gastric bypass. Has anyone had any success with getting approval in Maryland from Kaiser for lap band? If so, please share your expience with me so I can pass it along to my friend. Thanks, everyone!!!

Yesterday I had a pretty good day but today I'm kinda feeling down. I'll get over it. I just hate this roller coaster ride. To think...I used to love roller coasters then I got too fat to fit and now that I can fit on them again this is the kind that I'm on and it sucks. Maybe I should head to an amusement park and get on a real rollercoaster and take my mind off of this garbage for a while. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts. I really appreciate all of the support. It's really aweful at just how many people have to deal with this situation. Why can't be just stay faithful to their partners? It makes no sense to me but that's because I'm one who would not cheat. Well...hope everyone has a great day!!! Hugs to everyone who sent me hugs...I received them all.

I had to do Optifast and it was not my favorite thing either. Funny though...the chicken soup was probably my favorite. I added spices to it and it kind of tastes like gravy. Like someone above said...garlic salt, pepper. Two weeks seems like forever but it will go by in no time. Good luck!

Thank you Boo Boo, and you're right...you never know until you are in that situation. It's definitely a "club" that you don't want to be a part of. It truly sucks but it does make you a stronger person. I have a personal question for you...how long did it take you to start trusting again or do you fully trust him now? My concern is that I don't want to be his babysitter his entire life. I don't want to always have to check up on him and wonder what he's doing and where he's at. It drives me absolutely CRAZY. I know that it's going to take a long time to get over all of this (if I even do), but I always wonder how long it took people to begin to trust again. Thanks!

Hey everyone. I'm back. The weekend was a long one but it was pretty good. My husband and I have been really working on this mess. We have a very long road ahead of us but only time will tell what happens. My brother had his "talk" with my husband over the weekend. They haven't seen each other or talked since D-Day. My husband has some issues that he really needs to work through, aside from our marriage. He's working very hard and he's being open with me (for the first time EVER). Despite the fact that we are both trying, it is still very difficult on me and I still have my good days and bad days. The images in my mind are something that I wish would go away very quickly. They are complete torture. I really thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time that I am having. I swore that I would NEVER stay with a man who did this to me and then when reality hit me on that terrible day in April, my entire world turned upside down. I have to at least put forth the effort to keep my family together. I will not "settle" for an average marriage. If this marriage is going to survive, it's going to be the best. As far as the "home-wrecking skank" goes...I have not heard from her since she called my boss over a week ago. As far as I'm concerned, she's not worth my time or energy. I just wish that her husband knew what kind of woman he is married to. Her day will come...what goes around comes around and Karma is a bitch. She will have to live with the guilt (if it even affects her) everyday, wondering when I will spark back into her life to have a little chat with her hubby. I just hope that she doesn't dig her claws into another married man. Don't get me wrong...I, in no way, completely blame her for all of this but she did take part in having a relationship with a married man and she should have to face consequences just the same as my husband does. Well...again, thanks everyone...keep the well wishes coming. I appreciate all comments, suggestions, and everything else that you want to send my way.

Well...I'm home from work now and drinking an "alcoholic" beverage so right now I'm alright, but I can't guarantee what the next hour will bring. It usually hits me around 7:00 - 7:30 with the crying. You guys have no idea how much it means to me for all of the responses and the PMs that I have received. I will make it one way or another. I will be happy again. Hell...I have been going out on the weekends and getting hit on left and right...I have had MANY opportunities to leave the bar with men but I wouldn't do that, even in the situation that I'm currently in. So...I only say that because I'm not staying because I'm afraid to being alone...I'm staying because I took vows and I have created a family with this man and the way that he has recently been acting, I think that there may be a future for us. He needs to continue doing what he's doing and treat me like the queen that I should be treated like. Wish me luck and send me good vibes...I need them. I'll let you know tomorrow how I make out tonight on my rollercoaster ride. Hopefully I won't get sick. lol