I was banded 9/11. I'm thrilled! My anxiety on the days leading into the surgery make me laugh now. The pain wasn't that bad, and the shakes didn't make me gag.
Here are a few things I've figured out about me in the last two weeks:
1. I have no regrets.
2. I have TONS of will power that is just pouring out of my soul. And I don't resent what I can't have right now.
3. My sense of humor is still fully in place.
4. I actually no longer care who knows that I've had surgery. This is the biggest surprise of all. I was telling no one. I was nervous about coming back to work and having to answer questions about why I was out. Now, if they ask...I just start spilling it. It's funny.
5. I have the BEST friends and family. I already knew this, but just thought I'd say it anyway
6. I WANT this so badly. I think that's why it's not been as hard as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong. I've had my moments. But, in all...I'm happy.
I'm sure more things will come to me as the days progress. More little revelations about me. More little secrets coming to the surface. But, it's a journey that I'm so happy to be on.
Better late than never, but we did a family dinner for the Jewish New Year last night. It was very nice, 28 people. My son's, their wives and my super wonderful 3 grandsons were there. I haven't seen some of the people for real long time and of course came the: you look great, how much did you lose, how did you lose the weight questions. I told people I do not share my weight loss with any one. They were disappointed. I said I know I was very fat and still fat and don't need people saying, boy, Arlene was very over weight. When it came to my dinner plate, one woman said to me, you have no food on your plate. I said I have plenty. My husband explained I eat around 4 oz of protein then the other foods. My sister-in-law (the wicked b***h "c" word) asked me about my 'diet'. I only said I use a dietitian. Enough words for her. About the SIL, my husband is 63 and for the first 50 years of his life he did not talk to her. They now talk only because he made an effort. She loves my oldest son and treats my younger son like s**t. Enough said about her.
So, back to the subject, I feel the surgery is my business and I just can't share it with everyone. I still feel like I am a failure because I needed the help of the band. My first surgeon said I was not a failure because I knew I needed the help. I just can't get that part into my head.
I did have a very small sliver of chocolate birthday cake. My youngest son's b. day was Wednesday, age 35 and the next day his wife was 35. I brought a super wonderful cake from BJ's for them.
Today the hub and I get to baby sit the 9 month old. He is the perfect baby, teething and never complains. He has 8 teeth all ready.
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. The weather in Boston is super great this weekend.
