discoveringash

My story goes like this.

I am typical.

I've been "big" since I was a child. I don't know what it feels like to wear shorts in the summer or knee high boots in the winter. I have tried programs, googled celebrity diets, diet pills, exercise, and all of the above at once. Everything short of a full blown eating disorder. I would lose 5-10 pounds here and there, and then put 25 on after I quit when I hit a plateau after 2 months of this yoyo. Then I wouldn't try and I'd lose that 25 pounds and go back to square one. So that's what I call it my "square" weight. It's the weight that I either gain or lose to no matter what. And that's where I am right now. 254 pounds. I usually stay around that weight. Unless I'm pregnant, then I lose 20-40 pounds. Wouldn't you know it?

So, I give up. I've been lenient. I've been a psycho crossfitter. I seriously have tried it all. Paleo, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Phentermine, South Beach, Sugar Busters... do I need to keep going?

Don't read all that like I have a bad attitude. I don't. I'm just dry. And have a very sarcastic sense of humor. It's meant to be humorous.

I haven't had a horrible life. I was your typical "fat friend" with friends who liked me and I liked them, but I never got invited to the beach or shopping And the guys loved me like a sister and I was "one of the guys" my whole life. The fact that I even got married is beyond me, much less the fact that I married a gymnast... what?? yes. A gymnast. Still baffles me. ha! But I did marry the love of my life. He was my first boyfriend at the age of 20 and we were married a year later and now here we are! 3 children. And he loves me. No matter what I look like. And he supports my decision and he and those 3 kids of mine, well they are reason #1 for this journey. Stay tuned. I ain't done yet...