laganmel12

Growing up, I was always considered the "skinny" girl. In fact, I used to wear double pants to make myself appear bigger. I wasn't really skinny, but being African American, most of the girls my age were "fine" and not "skinny." I could eat a table full of food and not gain one pound. When I went to college exactly one week after graduation, I weighed under 120lbs. In less than two months, my weight skyrocketed to around 145. I think that's the first time that I realized that I'd actually been a healthy weight all along and not as skinny as I though to was. I stayed around 150 until I became pregnant with my son. I gained about 25 lbs during pregnancy and lost every pound of it the very next day after giving birth. However, over the next few years my weight inched it's way back to 175, my pregnancy weight. I didn't really consider myself over weight. I have plenty of overweight people in my family and in my head, I didn't look like them. I convinced myself they were really obese and I was just a little on the chunky side. Then I became pregnant with baby number two. Again, I gained around 25 to 30 pounds and my weight went up to 205. The very next day after I gave birth, I weighed in at 175 again. However, once again, my weight continued to ease back to 205 over the next few years and that's where I've been. Now, my children are 14 and 9 and I've noticed that every year I gain a couple more pounds. I wear my extra pounds very well and can hide it very well also. That is, until I looked at myself in a picture. I've now realized that I'm a little more than chunky! I'm considered extremely obese. This past year, I've had joint pain the entire year, can barely walk up a flight a stairs or to the other side of a room without losing my breath, and I've started to have gastrointestinal reflux. My weight this summer went up to 217lbs. There are people in my family who say they wish they weighed what I weigh, but I'm trying to let them know that my weight is not healthy. I'm 5'3.5" and I have a small frame. They told me that I really didn't need the lap band and all I had to do was to go to the gym. Been there and done that. I can lose weight without a problem, but I can't stay on a diet to save my life. I've now noticed that it takes me a little longer to lose and the second I stop, I gain my weight back and more. My husband and kids are very supportive. I even took my nine year old to my pre-op appt with my surgeon so that she could understand what was going on. I want to be at a healthy weight and cant wait! I'm following my pre-op diet and am looking forward to Sept. 5th!