Adrienne21

I had my first fill today and it wasn't fun. I have two bruises and two bandages over my port. I had to get them standing up. I am going to try to work with the fill i received so that I can stay away from being prodded with that big darn needle. I was livid when I saw that I only lost 3.2 pounds but now that I think about it. I dont feel bad about it. I look great in my old clothes and I can go down stairs without sweating.
 
I was told to stop with the bread, rice and pasta.. I had my hand slapped for that one. I was also told to exercise five days a week for at least an hour. so starting next week that is my new goal.

I had my first fill today and it wasn't fun. I have two bruises and two bandages over my port. I had to get them standing up. I am going to try to work with the fill i received so that I can stay away from being prodded with that big darn needle. I was livid when I saw that I only lost 3.2 pounds but now that I think about it. I dont feel bad about it. I look great in my old clothes and I can go down stairs without sweating.
 
I was told to stop with the bread, rice and pasta.. I had my hand slapped for that one. I was also told to exercise five days a week for at least an hour. so starting next week that is my new goal.

SO Here is my motivation list. Things I will do when I get to my goal weight.

Skiing with no boot extenders
Ride a rollercoaster comfortably
Tan out by the pool
Learn to salsa dance
Go to an actual zumba class
Experiement with different sex positions
Go hiking and not feel like dying
Not be the biggest person in the room
Fit back into my little black dress
Looking awesome on the back of a bike
Go to the gym and not feel self consious
Buy clothes that arent in the plus size
Get lingerie
See my ex when I'm 100pds lighter
Walk up my steps without getting winded

Okay, here are a few things I want to do once I reach my weight goal.

wear a bikini.
walk in high heels comfortably.
do a marathon run/walk for a charity.
to be able to run around and play with my little sister without being out of breath or lack of energy.
be more confident.
to stop hiding behind my laptop and enjoy life.
to look and the mirror and be happy with what I see.
to go to my high school reunion as the new me.
to go back to school and be able to fit in those awful desk.
to do a cycling class
to be healthy

I've got a long way to go before I reach any of those goals but for right now I have smaller goals that are achievable for right now. Refer to my blog before this blog. I think a list of goals can be helpful especially if you are serious about reaching them.

Okay, here are a few things I want to do once I reach my weight goal.

wear a bikini.
walk in high heels comfortably.
do a marathon run/walk for a charity.
to be able to run around and play with my little sister without being out of breath or lack of energy.
be more confident.
to stop hiding behind my laptop and enjoy life.
to look and the mirror and be happy with what I see.
to go to my high school reunion as the new me.
to go back to school and be able to fit in those awful desk.
to do a cycling class
to be healthy

I've got a long way to go before I reach any of those goals but for right now I have smaller goals that are achievable for right now. Refer to my blog before this blog. I think a list of goals can be helpful especially if you are serious about reaching them.

Okay, here are a few things I want to do once I reach my weight goal.

wear a bikini.
walk in high heels comfortably.
do a marathon run/walk for a charity.
to be able to run around and play with my little sister without being out of breath or lack of energy.
be more confident.
to stop hiding behind my laptop and enjoy life.
to look and the mirror and be happy with what I see.
to go to my high school reunion as the new me.
to go back to school and be able to fit in those awful desk.
to do a cycling class
to be healthy

I've got a long way to go before I reach any of those goals but for right now I have smaller goals that are achievable for right now. Refer to my blog before this blog. I think a list of goals can be helpful especially if you are serious about reaching them.

So today I noticed I have another heat rash.. It's my underarm.. Its extremely painful but not as intense as the one under my belly and thighs. I felt like a baby was ripping through every single pore in all of the regions. lol literally burning and swelling all over the place. It is worrying me because I think I might be losing weight too fast. I mean I am still fairly new to the band. I regret letting myself get this far before I decided I needed help... weight wise. I watched some body sculpting surgeries and it honestly freaked me out. I know for sure I am going to need the following: arm lift, boob lift, corset trunkplasty, thigh lift, ankle lipo, my calves might need a little lipo, a but lift/transfer of fat to reshape my bottom. I don't think I will be able to get around having most of that done. I am still early in the game to think about it, but it is something I am going to have to face.
 
I am still not eating enough protein.. I know, I know... 60-80grams a day. pffff I can't even get to 600 cals still. I had half of 1/2 cup of oatmeal for breakfast. for lunch I had one salmon patty. and for dinner I had One chicken tamale(I peeled off most of the "shell".) Tomorrow I am going to the store to by my meals for the week. That way I can make healthier choices and buy more protein induced foods. Anyone tried asparagus ? I want to try it but I don't know how to cook it or how it taste. does it taste like broccoli or string beans??
 
I think I am still drinking too fast. I haven't puked or felt like something got stuck. I am just so damn thirsty. My job doesn't have air right now and its been 98-104 degrees. So I have been trying to sip but I know im not getting 64oz of water per day. Even my sleep is jacked up. I know that my band and I will start to work together and things will be better but for now things are not going so smooth. it could be worse, I could still be 380lbs. I can't wait to weight myself. First goal is to get to 299. It looks like I might end up losing over 100lbs in one year.. im more than half way there already and I still have five months left. I just have to keep telling myself that I am fighting for my life and that I can do this.

I ate breakfast fine today. I had 1/2 a cup of oatmeal with whey. I made lunch and dinner and guess what I did?? I left it at home. I get to work and I have nothing healthy to eat so I go the whole day with just sipping water and chewing sf gum. I get off work and order a steak sope (its like a small round taco but not really a taco). I didnt eat the shelling because I am scared of stretching my band.
 
SO I am taking small bites and chewing well. I was so hungry that I kept eating until I started getting a little pain my stomach. literally right below my boobs. I was amazed at the small amount of food that I consumed sent me over the edge. now I feel like i have a food baby. my band only has 1cc in it so idk what I did wrong. I wonder if that was a sign that i was close to being full or if it was a sign that i was full. it was my bad day at work that led to my stress and the fact thAT I DID NOT TAKE A BREAK TODAY.
 
in other news i find it amazing that everyone is noticing my weight loss. My friend said it looked like i had lost 100 lbs when i really only lost about 66. that makes me happy and gives me the strenght to continue. I know i can do this. since I am still new to this and learning how to work with my band I take this day as a lesson. double check my purse for my lunch. lol or always keep a protein shake in my purse.

I ate breakfast fine today. I had 1/2 a cup of oatmeal with whey. I made lunch and dinner and guess what I did?? I left it at home. I get to work and I have nothing healthy to eat so I go the whole day with just sipping water and chewing sf gum. I get off work and order a steak sope (its like a small round taco but not really a taco). I didnt eat the shelling because I am scared of stretching my band.
 
SO I am taking small bites and chewing well. I was so hungry that I kept eating until I started getting a little pain my stomach. literally right below my boobs. I was amazed at the small amount of food that I consumed sent me over the edge. now I feel like i have a food baby. my band only has 1cc in it so idk what I did wrong. I wonder if that was a sign that i was close to being full or if it was a sign that i was full. it was my bad day at work that led to my stress and the fact thAT I DID NOT TAKE A BREAK TODAY.
 
in other news i find it amazing that everyone is noticing my weight loss. My friend said it looked like i had lost 100 lbs when i really only lost about 66. that makes me happy and gives me the strenght to continue. I know i can do this. since I am still new to this and learning how to work with my band I take this day as a lesson. double check my purse for my lunch. lol or always keep a protein shake in my purse.

so I am a little over 60lbs down in weight. I am already showing signs of weight loss. I have sagging skin in my thigh area and my boobs. I really loved my boobs and they are leaving me. I developed a heat rash from the friction when I move.. I thought if I lost it slow enough I wouldn't have much skin. I really can't blame myself because I am half to blame for being obese anyways. The important thing is that I care now and I am more dedicated than I have ever been. The thing that has me so down in a funk is that my job is not being so supportive. they don't know what surgery I had and they never will, but they are just being unfair about certain things.
 
I still feel a lot of restriction even with them taking 1cc out of my band. I am able to eat a little bit more. for some reason I can not tolerate my normal protein shakes. But I can eat 2 egg whites and 1/4 of a banana. then for lunch I had two chunks of pineapples , 7 grapes, and two small chunks of watermelon. I haven't had dinner yet because I am not hungry yet. Tomorrow I return back to work to see how I fair out. tomorrow. will be a better day...

I have to admit I am proud to say I finally was able to drink a full bottle of water today!!! I know it doesnt sound like much but believe me its the most i have been able to drink since I was banded. sucky thing that bugged me yesterday was the slight break out episode I had yesterday. Its pretty bad but I have some medicine that is suppose to help with the irritations. I am so close to being under 300lbs i can smell it. I only wish I had done this years ago but that is in the past..
 
my new life began the day I was banded. one more day until I am in the mushy food phase and then one week after that it will be solids. I am excited. Visited my mom today and she noticed my weight loss. she was very proud of me. I can not wait for more wL. I am hoping that with my new found health I will be able to be clear of all the health issues and develop a fresh outlook on other things. Well thats all i have to say for now.

I have to admit I am proud to say I finally was able to drink a full bottle of water today!!! I know it doesnt sound like much but believe me its the most i have been able to drink since I was banded. sucky thing that bugged me yesterday was the slight break out episode I had yesterday. Its pretty bad but I have some medicine that is suppose to help with the irritations. I am so close to being under 300lbs i can smell it. I only wish I had done this years ago but that is in the past..
 
my new life began the day I was banded. one more day until I am in the mushy food phase and then one week after that it will be solids. I am excited. Visited my mom today and she noticed my weight loss. she was very proud of me. I can not wait for more wL. I am hoping that with my new found health I will be able to be clear of all the health issues and develop a fresh outlook on other things. Well thats all i have to say for now.

I was able to eat another jello cup and a sugar free Popsicle It's strange because I can feel my stomach making sounds like its hungry but i don't have an appetite for food. in an hour i will try to drink a protein shake. I've been reading a lot of blogs and comments on here and its making my head spin. I am worried about getting filled. some people said it hurt and they didn't feel good after the shot. I was under the impression that they numbed the port site before injecting you with the needle??
 
I was happy when I saw my friend gabby yesterday. She gave me a hug and looked at me and said you look great and she noticed that I lost weight. That felt great to hear someone say 327 looked great. I'm sure I am less than that. I just don't want to face the scale because It's not really about the numbers. its about how i feel. coming from 379/380 all the way to the low 300's is awesome. I can walk down a flight of stairs now without slumping over or being out of breath. I can walk on a treadmill for an hour at a pace of 2.0-2.6. and I know once i am able to workout again I will continue to progress. My goal is to be able to run. i have a little niece and a little sister that I want to be able to chase around.
 
since I have an extra day off I will spend it trying to relax and focus on getting better. My life has already changed. I've meet three people here who inspired me and many others whose stories have help me. I wish they were in chicago or close around my hometown. I could use a buddy during these times. it helps to talk to people who know what you are going through. ive vented enough for now. enjoy your day. sorry about my randomness and grammar. I am not going to spend much time worrying about that, simply just expressing myself.

I have to admit I am proud to say I finally was able to drink a full bottle of water today!!! I know it doesnt sound like much but believe me its the most i have been able to drink since I was banded. sucky thing that bugged me yesterday was the slight break out episode I had yesterday. Its pretty bad but I have some medicine that is suppose to help with the irritations. I am so close to being under 300lbs i can smell it. I only wish I had done this years ago but that is in the past..
 
my new life began the day I was banded. one more day until I am in the mushy food phase and then one week after that it will be solids. I am excited. Visited my mom today and she noticed my weight loss. she was very proud of me. I can not wait for more wL. I am hoping that with my new found health I will be able to be clear of all the health issues and develop a fresh outlook on other things. Well thats all i have to say for now.

I was able to eat another jello cup and a sugar free Popsicle It's strange because I can feel my stomach making sounds like its hungry but i don't have an appetite for food. in an hour i will try to drink a protein shake. I've been reading a lot of blogs and comments on here and its making my head spin. I am worried about getting filled. some people said it hurt and they didn't feel good after the shot. I was under the impression that they numbed the port site before injecting you with the needle??
 
I was happy when I saw my friend gabby yesterday. She gave me a hug and looked at me and said you look great and she noticed that I lost weight. That felt great to hear someone say 327 looked great. I'm sure I am less than that. I just don't want to face the scale because It's not really about the numbers. its about how i feel. coming from 379/380 all the way to the low 300's is awesome. I can walk down a flight of stairs now without slumping over or being out of breath. I can walk on a treadmill for an hour at a pace of 2.0-2.6. and I know once i am able to workout again I will continue to progress. My goal is to be able to run. i have a little niece and a little sister that I want to be able to chase around.
 
since I have an extra day off I will spend it trying to relax and focus on getting better. My life has already changed. I've meet three people here who inspired me and many others whose stories have help me. I wish they were in chicago or close around my hometown. I could use a buddy during these times. it helps to talk to people who know what you are going through. ive vented enough for now. enjoy your day. sorry about my randomness and grammar. I am not going to spend much time worrying about that, simply just expressing myself.

I received a call from my doctor ten mins ago. I asked her if everything I am experiencing was normal, She said if I am not tolerating my fluids and they come back up I need to go to the er. I will see how today goes. I know last was rough. I felt dizzy and hungry. I felt like I had not eaten enough or drank enough water. I did a skin test for dehydration. (You go to the middle of your arm and you take your index finger and thumb and pull a chuck of skin up. if it goes back down you are fine. if it stays in that pinched position you need to seek help).
 
I forgot to ask my doctor if my band was pre-filled. she informed me that if I had any other questions or concerns to call them. I just don't want to become a pain in the butt, but this is my health and life so maybe I should keep asking. They have a support group but it is not nearly anything like this site. Today is my first day of work. I start at 3pm. I am low on energy and I won't be able to rely on my energy drinks and no vitamins. I just have to get through four days before I can move on to the mushy foods. I hope I can tolerate eggs and oatmeal. I don't understand how I can't have grits but I can eat oatmeal. They said it's because grits are sliders.
 
I guess I am going to try to drink some soup and see how I feel because my stomach is starting to talk. lol I hope you all have a great day.