butterfyeffect

I stepped on the scale yesterday, and I'm down to 309! I can't believe it... I'm 10 lbs away from being back in the 200s... I'm almost back to my post-knee surgery weight from 2009.
 
But what was even cooler? I dragged myself into the 9am Zumba class, and I found myself actually bouncing with some of the songs. There literally was more bounce in my step. It didn't hurt my knee quite as much to jump and bounce. I can only imagine how I'll be flying through the songs once I get closer to my goal!

I have been on the fence about bariatric surgery. I am 19 years old. I never thought I would be thinking about getting banded. My family is mostly against it. They want me to lose weight fast, but not with surgery. I went to a surgeon, who also has a weight management program, to get all the information. I realized while talking to the doctor that the main thing keeping me from getting the band was other people's opinions. I was very concerned about not being loved or being judged. I did not want people to think I was weak. After weeks of stressing and fighting with my family, I realized; I am fighting with them? Why is that? Because I know what is right for me. I had one family member push me into the mentality that only I know what is best for me, and as long as I am doing what I feel is right, then I should have no regrets. I have been able to lose weight just on the diet, however I have fallen into the same "diet traps" that I know i wont be able to do with the lap band. I am the kind of person who if I cannot do it and know i do not have the option, I will not do it. That is my personality. right now, i know there is nothing technically keeping me from cheating on the diet, so i allow myself to do it. With all the factors kept in mind, I have decided I want to go ahead with getting the lap band. I went to the nutritionist and she is confident I can maintain what I need to before and after surgery, even while I am away at school. Every professional I have talked to has said they are confident I can be overly successful, but they are not sure I can do it all on my own. I know I can lose weight with the lap band as a tool. I am ready to just move on with my life. I am at an age where I should be experiencing life, and I don;t want to waste any more time. I can continue to tell myself I can lose weight on my own, but thats irresponsible. I know myself well enough to know I am kidding myself.
 
So. A lot of people are against me and I know that I will may be alone on this journey, BUT I know what I have to do. This is my decisions to make. No one else has to deal with the consequences of my weight so they should not try to make the decision for me. I know I am ready for this, I know I am making the right decision, for the right reasons. I am excited to start living my life.

So I've been stuck at 252 for the last two weeks. Stalls suck. I have my three month post op this month (on the 19th, although it has been 90 days post surgery as of today). I desperately want to be in the mid 240s for this visit. It's a mental goal of mine based on where I feel I should be at 3 months out. I'm gonna try to low carb and cut back on weights this week (fast and light as opposed to slow and heavy), to see if that kickstarts my weight loss again. I'm going to continue swimming and taking my body works plus abs class. I love both of those things so much. LOL. I probably should better track my carbs. But I work out a lot ( almost two hours on cardio/weights days) and I know you need carbs for fuel when you are working out. Since the surgery, I do not seem to have the sensitivity to carbs that I had before my sleeve (considering that I was diabetic). But still, my guidelines pre-sleeve were to not go over 50g of carbs at a meal and 30g at a snack. That always worked for me to keep my blood sugars even. Those are the same guidelines I adhere to now. I know other sleevers are much stricter on carbs, so we will see if tweaking them does me any good.
 
Stall busting is complex business. I know I am not cheating my sleeve and overeating. I know my sleeve has not grown because I can still only eat tiny amounts of dense protein. Calorie wise I am good. So the trick is to rejigger something somewhere to kick it back into gear.
 
In other news, the second bathing suit I bought works divinely. It is a Land's end surplice front tugless tank. Looks better on that it looks hanging up. But my girls don't fall out. My old suit was a surplice front one as well, but it was a size 26. this one is a 20. I apparently have to buy my swimsuits for my boobs (smaller) and not my hips (bigger). If I buy for my hips, the girls will make an appearance. And it was on clearance. The suit is a bit tight in the hips, but not to the point where circulation is being cut off. Ha! The things I do for fitness. I spend a lot of money on fitness gear. But I always have. in the early 00s I used to work out at home and had all this stuff - weights, steps, mats. Now I work out at a gym and I still have all this workout related stuff.

Well, I just re-read my last few posts, and can't help but be proud of how far I've come. I will be 10 weeks out from surgery on Tuesday, and feel pretty much normal. But a new normal, where I'm not hungry all of the time, and when I am, I get full really quickly on a small amount of food. Sometimes I even almost forget that I had surgery. But then I look at the scale, which is down more than 40 pounds, and I realize that I never would have been able to do that if I hadn't had some help. Because my old normal was scary bad, and I never want to go back to it.
 
My old normal was that I would wake up in the morning with a growling stomach. I would usually think about what I was going to eat before I had even gotten out of bed. Before I finished breakfast, I was already planning what I would have for lunch, and before lunch was over, I would already be thinking about dinner. And the last thing I would usually do before bed would be to eat a late-night snack. Like a half a package of Oreos kind of snack. My entire day literally revolved around food. Not healthy.
 
My new normal is that I get up in the morning, and I'm usually thirsty. I'm getting the proper amount of fluids - at least 64 ounces per day, but I think compared with the amounts that I used to drink, it's still not that much. And it's summer in Florida... So, yeah, I'm usually pretty dry when I wake up. I still can't gulp down a glass of water like I used to. But I can guzzle it pretty well. So, I usually get up and drink a glass or two of water or Crystal Light before I even think about eating. And even then, it's usually because my husband says he's hungry that I actually go to the trouble of eating some food.
 
And when I do eat, it's usually about a half-cup of something. I can get in more if it's something like soup. But in general I don't eat that much soup anymore, because I'm trying to be proactive about eating more solid-type foods. So far, I can stomach most things if I eat them slowly enough. That continues to be a challenge for me. I am usually mindful of what I'm doing, it's a challenge more often just because of the time required in order to eat at the proper pace... I'll be trying to eat dinner before leaving for work, for instance. Or on a half-hour lunch break at work. That's when I run into trouble. I'm better off just keeping my food at my work station, and taking a bite here or there. Most night nurses don't take breaks anyway, so no one really finds that to be weird.
 
As far as what I eat, I do find that the softer textures still go best. Grilled chicken or fish can still be a problem. I do better if it's served with some kind of sauce. Better still if it's cooked in the sauce though. For instance, we're having chicken tikka masala that was done in the slow cooker for dinner tonight. Perfect food for my tiny tummy. I've just in the past week started experimenting with fresh vegetables a little. Just a bite or two of lettuce, tomato. So far so good. Also just this week I've eaten pasta twice, and had no issues with it. And last night, I ate my first piece of un-toasted bread. Just a small one, but it went quite well, I thought. None of the "stuck" feeling that I've heard others complain about.
 
What still isn't working, and I am so very sad about it, is spicy foods. Just can't seem to tolerate them. I ate a few bites of Buffalo chicken at work the other night. I'd just been craving the Buffalo sauce. It stayed down, but I got the sliming sensation, and it burned in my chest for a long time. I have always loved spicy foods, so I'm really hoping that this reaction goes away at some point. Other than that, though I am incredibly happy with my new normal.

Well, it's been a few weeks since I've posted, due to me being out of town, and then adjusting back to work... but here I am, almost 6 weeks since my surgery, and feeling way more normal than I did last time I posted. Not to say that I am not still having challenges, but I'm definitely well on my way to recovery.
 
About three weeks ago, my husband Dan and I headed up north to visit relatives. For this we flew. Now I have to give kudos to those of you who were sleeved (or banded, or had RNY) in Mexico, and flew home a few days after surgery, because my flight north was not a fun experience. My tiny tummy definitely did not like the changes in altitude. So, first lesson of my trip: Sit in an aisle seat on the plane. I did, in fact have an aisle seat, but even so, I still got to use my barf-bag on a plane for the first time ever! I never threw up, but I was doing a ton of spitting up into it, just praying for the fasten seat belts light to go out so I could run into the bathroom and upchuck my protein shake. Of course by the time that we were free to move about the cabin, I felt way better, and never actually had to vomit. Still, not my finest moment.
 
So, after a three hour flight, we arrived at my in-law's home where, while my husband's immediate family knew that I had just had surgery, his visiting cousins didn't. That made for some weird mealtimes... I actually sat in a separate room from everyone else during dinner, claiming it was too crowded in the main room. Fortunately, Dan's cousins are vegans, so they really weren't eating the same foods as the rest of us, so maybe didn't notice that neither was I...
 
I was on soft foods at this point, and had told my mother in-law that I could eat eggs... so she made me a quiche. Yeah, I threw that up into her hedge. It was a super-awkward time for me. Basically at this point, I hadn't really kept anything other than protein shakes down in days, so I was pretty much destined to vomit up almost anything else that I ate. Yet at the same time, I don't want to offend anyone, since they were going out of their way to make foods that I'd be able to eat. So, yeah, I took a lot of long walks around in Dan's parent's back yard, and in the woods behind my brother in-law's house while I was there.
 
Next, Dan, myself, and my in-laws made the four hour road trip to where my parents live. Second lesson I learned on my trip: Riding in the back seat of a car may cause motion sickness. Now, I'm not going to say that my in-laws are not good drivers... but riding in the back of their van for four hours was torture for me. I have literally never gotten carsick in my entire life, but there I was, fighting off waves of nausea. I again, had only had a protein shake in the morning before we left, and spent almost the entire trip spitting up into a water bottle. Finally, about 3 hours in, Dan asked me if it would help if we cracked a window. After about 10 minutes of fumbling around in the front seat to figure out how to turn off the child-protective locks on the windows, my window was opened about two inches. Those two inches felt like freedom to me. They felt like life pouring back into my lungs. I spent the rest of the trip with my nose stuck out the window like a dog... but I got there in one piece, and perhaps more importantly, with my protein shake still in my stomach!
 
So, we arrived in New York just in time for my mother's Memorial Day picnic. I think I've mentioned before that my family likes to eat. Here, it was a little different because everyone at the picnic knew that I'd had this surgery. Just nobody cared. Although my mom has had weight loss surgery, and knows what a soft diet looks like, I was presented with grilled chicken, pasta salad, watermelon, chips, buffalo chicken dip, and chocolate chip cookies. I ate about four bites of grilled chicken. I tried to wet it with BBQ sauce. I threw it up in my mother's bathroom. When I got back to the table, my mom said "Is your stomach empty now?" I lied and said no, just to not give her the satisfaction. I then ate about two bites of the pasta salad, which thankfully did stay down. When we left her house for my dad's, where we were staying, my mother presented me with a plastic baggy with three hard boiled eggs in it. "I thought you could eat these." "Uh, yeah. Why didn't you give them to me before I barfed up your chicken." (That's what I wanted to say. I didn't though.)
 
Now, while I preferred staying at my Dad's house because the bed is comfier, and I love his dog, this presented it's own challenges, in that he does not cook. Not unless you count hot dogs or toast. He literally eats out seven days a week. And he lives at least a half hour from anywhere. So we spent a lot of time in the car. Here's my next lesson for when you're traveling with your sleeve: Full tummy and riding in a car do not mix. The first day I spent with my dad, I literally threw up everything that I attempted to eat. Threw up my protein shake at the restaurant where he, Dan, and the in-laws were eating breakfast. Threw up the quiche that I ordered for lunch (in a super-fancy hotel, I might add). Threw up the two bites of a chicken dumpling I tried to eat for dinner in my dad's truck!
 
It did get better after Dan's parents went home to Massachusetts, and we picked up our rental car. Next Lesson: If you must ride in a car, better to be the driver. Not always a perfect solution, but it did cut back on the throwing up in the car episodes.
 
The problems that I had for the rest of the trip were mainly just from me trying to be accommodating to everyone else, instead of the other way around. So, my final lesson is this: If you can, try and eat what you know you can tolerate, and on your own schedule, not everyone else's. Not always easy to do, especially when you're a guest in someone else's home, but when I look back on the ten days that I spent traveling, I know I would have been a lot more comfortable if I'd just said "You know what, I need fifteen or twenty minutes to just sit here and digest before we can go anywhere." more often.

Hi there! It's been over a week since I've last posted, and I've spent that time transitioning from liquids, to pureed food, and am now eating soft solids... but it hasn't been without it's trials...
 
The first three days home from the hospital, my surgeon's plan calls for a pureed diet. For me, this consisted of mostly Greek yogurt, protein drinks, and some delicious pureed mushroom soup that my husband made for me. I'm sorry, but the idea of pureeing meat or fish or something just turned me off, so I didn't go there, but I feel like for those few days, I actually was doing well at getting in my protein in. Managed to get about 50 grams most days. And I have never had an issue getting my fluids in. I always get 50-64 ounces of straight fluid, not including my protein shakes.
 
No, my big issue those first few days was with swallowing my pills. I was still having a fair amount of pain, so I was taking the Vicodin my surgeon prescribed probably twice a day, plus trying to take all of my vitamins, and the Pepcid. No matter what time I tried to take them, or what I took them with, I would inevitably get something "stuck" and end up "sliming" until I eventually vomited. More times than not, the pill itself stayed down and just water came out.... weird. This is a huge change from the pre-op me, who could swallow all 6 of my vitamins at once, and not flinch.
Needless to say, I've stopped taking my vitamins in pill form, instead I got some calcium chews, and some Biotin chews (I'm very worried about losing hair), and I found these cool things at Costco that are like a Crystal Light powder that you put in your water, but they are chock-full of vitamins! I drink two of them a day in my water. So the only thing I'm still a little worried about is my Iron, but I just can't tolerate plain Iron pills, it makes me nauseous... and I've been doing enough vomiting lately without adding in anything that may upset my little tummy more!
 
So on Post-op day 4, my surgeon's plan called for me to start trying some soft foods. On the list of soft foods allowed was soft baked fish. So my husband decided to cook dinner for us on Sunday, and made me a beautiful, tiny piece of tilapia, which he served over some soft polenta. It looked and smelled so delicious that I dug right in, and ate more than half of it without any regard to how my tiny tummy was handling it! With about one bite of food left on the plate, I realized what I had done, and knew I was in trouble. I spent the next two hours running into the bathroom. Every time I thought I was through, more would come out! It was awful, but not unexpected. I knew what I had done, and vowed to eat more slowly next time. Well, the next time turned out to be the following night, when I made what sounded like a wonderful recipe for a Ricotta cheese bake. But, yet again, it smelled and looked so good, I ate about half of the 1/4 cup portion that I had served myself way too fast, then got sick again...
 
So, long story short, I am becoming a professional vomiter. I keep a pillow next to the sink to splint my incisions while I puke out whatever it is that I took one too many bites of. It's gotten better over the past day or two, as I've kind of learned to take one bite of something, and then wait about ten minutes to see how it will sit. If it seems to be settling well, I'll eat another two bites. But three bites of any soft or pureed texture food seems to be my limit.
 
I've also become more severely lactose intolerant than I ever was pre-operatively. During my two week protein shake diet, I was able to enjoy at least one of the Premier chocolate shakes per day, as long as I took a lactaid pill with it. And I never had any issues with yogurt. Not the case post-operatively... I've sworn off of the Premier shakes entirely (too bad, because they pack 30 grams of protein in each one!), and as of yesterday, decided that the yogurt wasn't working either. So there went two big sources of protein. Between the vomiting, and the lactose intolerance, I've been really struggling to hit the protein goals set by my surgeon. I'm probably averaging about 40 grams/day, with a goal of 60 grams.
 
So with all this talk about what's not working, this probably sounds like a pretty discouraging post. So let's talk about what is working! Foods that I can eat in small amounts with no issues: Eggs, refried beans, powdered protein shakes made with almond milk, and bananas. Sounds like a pretty short list, but here's the thing: I'm never hungry. Like, never. If I wasn't worried about my hair falling out, I would happily just drink my vitamin water all day and not eat at all. Once in awhile I get a craving for something, like yesterday I kept thinking about bagels, but it's never accompanied by actual hunger. It's just a craving, and it passes.
 
Pain-wise, I haven't taken a Vicodin in three days, and prior to that I was only taking them at bedtime, and taking Tylenol during the day. Now I don't take either. I get an occasional twinge of pain under the incision on my left side (where they took the stomach out), but it goes away in a few seconds. As far as my surgical incisions go, all of my steri-strips (the little tape like things over my incisions) have fallen off, and I have to say, they look good! Three of them are completely healed over, and the last two just have tiny scabs on them. I've been putting vitamin E on them.
 
And now... the big scale question. I have lost (drumroll please) 24 pounds since I started the pre-op diet, with 11 of those pounds having come off since surgery. So that's 11 pounds in less than two weeks, 24 pounds in less than a month. I am pretty pleased with that. And, hey, I just realized that 24 pounds is more than 10% of my starting weight, which is something I never managed to accomplish in months of sitting through meetings at Weight Watchers!
 
The pictures below were taken yesterday. I decided after looking at someone else's before and after pictures to wear the same clothes in all of my progress pictures... I can really see a difference in how the shorts fit around my butt and thighs. My husband can't get over how much thinner my face is already. So overall, very pleased, despite all of the challenges!

 
I have my first follow-up appointment coming up this Wednesday, and then I go out of town for 10 days, so I'll have some info to put in another update pretty soon!

Hi there! It's been over a week since I've last posted, and I've spent that time transitioning from liquids, to pureed food, and am now eating soft solids... but it hasn't been without it's trials...
 
The first three days home from the hospital, my surgeon's plan calls for a pureed diet. For me, this consisted of mostly Greek yogurt, protein drinks, and some delicious pureed mushroom soup that my husband made for me. I'm sorry, but the idea of pureeing meat or fish or something just turned me off, so I didn't go there, but I feel like for those few days, I actually was doing well at getting in my protein in. Managed to get about 50 grams most days. And I have never had an issue getting my fluids in. I always get 50-64 ounces of straight fluid, not including my protein shakes.
 
No, my big issue those first few days was with swallowing my pills. I was still having a fair amount of pain, so I was taking the Vicodin my surgeon prescribed probably twice a day, plus trying to take all of my vitamins, and the Pepcid. No matter what time I tried to take them, or what I took them with, I would inevitably get something "stuck" and end up "sliming" until I eventually vomited. More times than not, the pill itself stayed down and just water came out.... weird. This is a huge change from the pre-op me, who could swallow all 6 of my vitamins at once, and not flinch.
Needless to say, I've stopped taking my vitamins in pill form, instead I got some calcium chews, and some Biotin chews (I'm very worried about losing hair), and I found these cool things at Costco that are like a Crystal Light powder that you put in your water, but they are chock-full of vitamins! I drink two of them a day in my water. So the only thing I'm still a little worried about is my Iron, but I just can't tolerate plain Iron pills, it makes me nauseous... and I've been doing enough vomiting lately without adding in anything that may upset my little tummy more!
 
So on Post-op day 4, my surgeon's plan called for me to start trying some soft foods. On the list of soft foods allowed was soft baked fish. So my husband decided to cook dinner for us on Sunday, and made me a beautiful, tiny piece of tilapia, which he served over some soft polenta. It looked and smelled so delicious that I dug right in, and ate more than half of it without any regard to how my tiny tummy was handling it! With about one bite of food left on the plate, I realized what I had done, and knew I was in trouble. I spent the next two hours running into the bathroom. Every time I thought I was through, more would come out! It was awful, but not unexpected. I knew what I had done, and vowed to eat more slowly next time. Well, the next time turned out to be the following night, when I made what sounded like a wonderful recipe for a Ricotta cheese bake. But, yet again, it smelled and looked so good, I ate about half of the 1/4 cup portion that I had served myself way too fast, then got sick again...
 
So, long story short, I am becoming a professional vomiter. I keep a pillow next to the sink to splint my incisions while I puke out whatever it is that I took one too many bites of. It's gotten better over the past day or two, as I've kind of learned to take one bite of something, and then wait about ten minutes to see how it will sit. If it seems to be settling well, I'll eat another two bites. But three bites of any soft or pureed texture food seems to be my limit.
 
I've also become more severely lactose intolerant than I ever was pre-operatively. During my two week protein shake diet, I was able to enjoy at least one of the Premier chocolate shakes per day, as long as I took a lactaid pill with it. And I never had any issues with yogurt. Not the case post-operatively... I've sworn off of the Premier shakes entirely (too bad, because they pack 30 grams of protein in each one!), and as of yesterday, decided that the yogurt wasn't working either. So there went two big sources of protein. Between the vomiting, and the lactose intolerance, I've been really struggling to hit the protein goals set by my surgeon. I'm probably averaging about 40 grams/day, with a goal of 60 grams.
 
So with all this talk about what's not working, this probably sounds like a pretty discouraging post. So let's talk about what is working! Foods that I can eat in small amounts with no issues: Eggs, refried beans, powdered protein shakes made with almond milk, and bananas. Sounds like a pretty short list, but here's the thing: I'm never hungry. Like, never. If I wasn't worried about my hair falling out, I would happily just drink my vitamin water all day and not eat at all. Once in awhile I get a craving for something, like yesterday I kept thinking about bagels, but it's never accompanied by actual hunger. It's just a craving, and it passes.
 
Pain-wise, I haven't taken a Vicodin in three days, and prior to that I was only taking them at bedtime, and taking Tylenol during the day. Now I don't take either. I get an occasional twinge of pain under the incision on my left side (where they took the stomach out), but it goes away in a few seconds. As far as my surgical incisions go, all of my steri-strips (the little tape like things over my incisions) have fallen off, and I have to say, they look good! Three of them are completely healed over, and the last two just have tiny scabs on them. I've been putting vitamin E on them.
 
And now... the big scale question. I have lost (drumroll please) 24 pounds since I started the pre-op diet, with 11 of those pounds having come off since surgery. So that's 11 pounds in less than two weeks, 24 pounds in less than a month. I am pretty pleased with that. And, hey, I just realized that 24 pounds is more than 10% of my starting weight, which is something I never managed to accomplish in months of sitting through meetings at Weight Watchers!
 
The pictures below were taken yesterday. I decided after looking at someone else's before and after pictures to wear the same clothes in all of my progress pictures... I can really see a difference in how the shorts fit around my butt and thighs. My husband can't get over how much thinner my face is already. So overall, very pleased, despite all of the challenges!

 
I have my first follow-up appointment coming up this Wednesday, and then I go out of town for 10 days, so I'll have some info to put in another update pretty soon!

Well, here I am. Back from the hospital after a 2 night stay, with 85% of my stomach missing. I'll try and describe what it was like day by day...  

Day 1 (Surgery Day):
Let me preface this by saying that I did not sleep a wink the night before surgery. Not. A. Wink. So, upon arriving to the hospital for my 7am appointment, I had already been awake for 24+ hours. So that probably added to the dream-like quality that everything had to it that day. But still, that's the only way I could possibly describe everything that happened that day. It was surreal.
Since I couldn't sleep, I decided that my husband shouldn't either, so I got him up at 4:30, and we set out from our hotel for the hospital at 5:30, even though it was only a 30 minute drive, and we didn't have to be there until 7am. At this point, I was convinced that I was probably going to die on the operating table, so I was giving my husband instructions, such as "My wedding ring is in the change pocket of my purse. I'll want to be buried with it on." Stuff like that. I'm sure he was amused by it all, but looking back, I can't believe I did that to my husband! (who already has some anxiety issues BTW)
So we arrived at the hospital super-early, and I tried, yet again to catch a 15 minute nap in the car. When it became apparent that even that wasn't going to happen, we went into the hospital to register at 6:30. They brought me back pretty quickly, but left my hubby in the waiting room. They weighed me (219.4) and brought me into a room with a stretcher in it, and told me to change into the gown and socks that were on the stretcher. Now, I don't know if they just see that someone is having bariatric surgery, and automatically put the XXL gown on the stretcher, or what, but that gown was huge. You could have put three of me in it. The socks were also ridiculous, they could have fit on my feet over a pair of winter boots! But I did as I was told, and proceeded to spend the next hour and a half trying not to flash everyone in the pre-op area... Then a nurse came in, took my vital signs, and did an admission questionnaire and had me sign paperwork. Then three separate anesthesiologists came in and talked to me, looked in my mouth, and asked me several of the same questions the nurse had just asked. Then another nurse put an IV in my left hand. Then, finally they allowed my husband to come back in.
We sat there and talked for awhile, and then my surgeon came in... now I know many of us bariatric surgery patients have had multiple appointments with their surgeon prior to the actual surgery day, but for me that was not the case. I'd only met Dr. Shillingford once for about 5 minutes, in January. But meeting him for the second time on surgery day, I was again reassured by his confident demeanor, and his relaxed bedside manner. Plus it helped that every other medical staff person I'd met so far that day had referred to him as an excellent surgeon. Once he arrived, that really seemed to get the ball rolling. Just about 10 minutes later, they were giving my pre-op "cocktail" (I asked, it was Versed). Then we rolled into the OR. I remember them asking me to scootch from the stretcher I was on, to the operating table, which I was able to do, and then....nothing.
Next thing I knew, I was lying on a different stretcher, in a different room, with a different gown on and someone was taking an oxygen mask off of me, and putting me on a nasal cannula (the little prong things that go in your nose). I was in a lot of pain, which I guess they anticipated, because someone handed me a little button, and said I could push it as much as I wanted for pain medication. Now, being a nurse, I know there is a lockout period, so you can't overdose yourself, so I must have asked that. They said it was set to dispense medication every 8 minutes. There was a blood pressure cuff on my right arm that kept squeezing every few minutes, so I decided to push the button every-other time the BP cuff went off. After three or four pushes, the pain had faded into the background, but by then I was becoming nauseated. Like clockwork, they asked me if I wanted medication for nausea. Yes, please! Once I had those nausea medications in, I was feeling pretty good. Good enough in fact, that when they got me up to my room, I was able to stand up and waddle over to my new bed almost all by myself... At this point, I was hooked up to two IV's, I had a foley catheter in, and I didn't know it yet, but there was a drain hanging off of the right side of my abdomen. But the only thing that was sore (and still is) was the incision on the left side of my abdomen. I later found out that's where my stomach was taken out.
The rest of that day went by in a little bit of a blur. I wasn't allowed any water, or anything else by mouth, but they did give me some swabs, and some ice chips, which were a godsend. I remember going for a walk, up and down the hallway with my hubby later in the evening, but other than that, I pretty much slept in between being asked, like 10 times, by 10 different people if I was diabetic, and/or did I need to have a CPAP machine (no, and no). And that was pretty much Day 1. And since I'm pretty wiped out, I think I'll save Days 2 and 3 for another post...

So, post-op day one for me could be summed up with one word: Nausea. Starting around 10pm the night of surgery, I began feeling like I was going to vomit, and unfortunately it never really went away... despite receiving the anti-nausea medication (Zofran) every four hours. That whole night, and into the morning was sort of a nightmare for multiple reasons.
First and foremost was the nausea, it would hit me in waves, and I would sit straight up in bed, holding my "puke bucket" under my chin, even though I knew there was nothing in my stomach to throw up. And then I would spit, burp, spit, burp, for about 10 minutes before the wave passed. Then I would put my bed back into the recline position, and fall back asleep until the next wave hit me...
Secondary to giving that whole long night a nightmarish quality was the fact that when I was between waves of nausea, and able to sleep, I would inevitably be woken up for something. Literally every hour, for the entire night, I was woken up for something or other. Now, if you've read my other entries, you may be aware that I am a nurse, and I work nights. And let me tell you, I make it my mission when working a night shift to let my patients get as much sleep as possible. Not the case here.
In her defense, my night nurse was brand new. If I'd been feeling better, I may have tried to teach her a little bit about grouping activities together. For instance, if I had medications scheduled at 12am, and 1am, it's perfectly acceptable to give both at 12:30! Vital signs due at 4am? Why not come in and do them when phlebotomy comes in to draw blood at 3am? That was just a little irritating for me. I was woken at midnight for vital signs and IV fluids, at that time, I asked if I was getting my heparin shot, and she said "No, that's due at 1am." So at 1:30am, she was back for that. At 3am, phlebotomy. At 4am, vital signs. At 5am more nausea meds. At 6am, she came and took my foley catheter out. And then at 7am, day shift comes in, so they all came in to say good morning! Aaargh!
So post-op day 2 has already started off on a sort of bad leg. My surgeon did come in and talked to me at about 7:30, and at that time, I begged him for something stronger for nausea. He agreed, and went out to order me some Phenergan. Now in this instance, it was probably good that I'm a nurse, so I know how things work. Otherwise I probably would have sat there and expected the medication to be given to me in the next 10 or 15 minutes. But no. When the doctor says he's going to order a medication, there is a process that it has to go through. He types the order into a computer. The order goes to pharmacy. The pharmacist looks at the order, and verifies that the medication, dose, frequency, and route of administration are appropriate, and also that it won't interact negatively with any of the other medications the patient is receiving. If they have a question regarding any of those things, they don't call the doctor. They call the nurse. Then the nurse calls the doctor, clarifies the order, and calls the pharmacy back. Then, and only then does the medication get verified by the pharmacy so that the nurse is allowed to administer it. Needless to say, it was nearly two hours before I received the Phenergan.
In the meantime, I had stopped using my pain button at 3am, aware that the dilaudid my very well be contributing to my nausea. So my pain was back in full force too. Regardless of that, I knew I had to walk, so I got myself out of bed, walked to the bathroom, and peed on my own for the first time. I also emptied my drain, which was alarmingly full, compared to yesterday. Then I brushed my teeth, and sat in the chair. That was how my husband found me when he came in to visit. Shortly after he arrived, they gave me my Phenergan, which does have the side effect of making you sleepy. So when they came to get me for my leak test, I was literally falling asleep while sitting up in the chair. But I wanted that leak test done, so I could get some oral pain medication, since I was refusing to use the Dilaudid anymore.
So we went down to Radiology for that.
Let me tell you, that test was by far the worst part of the entire experience for me. Everyone in radiology was super-nice, but the stuff they have you drink tastes like lemon dish soap (if your parents ever washed your mouth out with soap, you know the taste). They have you take small sips of it while standing in front of an x-ray machine, and a radiologist watches it flow through your esophagus, into your stomach, and into your small intestine. But you have to drink enough that they can see all that, and be sure none is leaking out, and also that there is no obstruction in your small intestine. I never would have been able to do it if I hadn't gotten the Phenergan prior to going. Even with it, I had to hold a puke basin in front of me, and dry heave into it every few sips. But, finally the radiologist said I had drank enough, and she hadn't seen any leaks, so I was allowed to drink water when I got back upstairs!
The rest of the day was a blur, because I was so tired from the phenergan, and then the subsequent oral pain medication (Lortab). I did walk in the hallway with my hubby after I got back from radiology, then I was told to start sipping water, approximately 2 ounces per hour. I managed to do that when I was awake, but the problem was I kept falling asleep. But I probably managed to drink a good 20 ounces of water that day. And later in the night, I noticed that my left hand where I had my IV was getting really puffy. So I when I saw that my IV bag was empty, I stopped it, and didn't tell my nurse. When she came in, I showed her my hand, and told her I didn't want anymore fluids by IV, and promised I would drink enough. Since it was scheduled to come out in the morning anyway, she said that was okay. The nausea went away almost completely after the phenergan, although I did get a small wave of it each time I took the Lortab, it was nothing compared to prior, so I never took any more nausea medication after that.
And that pretty much sums up post-op day 1 for me. I really, really slept that night, fortunately had a different night nurse who definitely is of the same philosophy as me, and lets her patient sleep, which I greatly appreciated. Woke up at 7am feeling like a brand new person!
Post-op Day 2 was also discharge day, so with that in mind, I got right up at 7, brushed my teeth and my hair (which I hadn't done since I'd been there). I got a morning "breakfast" tray consisting of orange SF jello, broth of some sort, plain decaf tea, and a Crystal Light lemonade. I ate the Jello, but have had bad experiences in the past with plain tea causing nausea, so didn't go there. And lukewarm broth just wasn't appealing. I saved the Crystal light for later.
I got lots of visits from all kinds of new people that day. The bariatric coordinator, Sandy came in and told me she was going to be there later to answer all of my questions, so I started trying to think some up. But I didn't have a pen to write anything down. Then another nurse navigator named Robert came in, and told me he was going to make my follow up appointment for me, which I thought was sort of overkill, since I am perfectly capable of dialing a phone. But I know it's his job and everything, so I told hime when my husband got there and we could look at his schedule, I'd call him. At this point, I realized everything was kind of stuck on my hubby coming to get me, and he'd spent the night with a friend in Miami the night before, which was at least an hour away. Knowing that this friend has a tendency to keep late hours, and party, I decided to call and find out an ETA. When I got ahold of him at 10am, he was just eating breakfast. I told him to hurry it up, since I thought they were preparing to kick me out.
But in reality, I still had my drain in, and was still wearing a hospital gown. So I may have been lying a little to get him in gear. But shortly after, my nurse did come in, and said it was time to pull the drain. Now this drain is something I've mentioned in passing, but haven't really described yet. If you're easily grossed out, skip the next paragraph.
It's called a JP drain, and it's like the little bulb shaped suction thingies that they use to clear out baby's nostrils, except attached to a long hose that goes inside of you (gross, I know). It's attached to your skin with a couple of sutures, and fluid collects in it. When I was first out of surgery, there wasn't much fluid, but it was all bloody. Now on day 2, it was full of more serous fluid, kind of yellow tinged. It had drained about 400-500ml of fluid out of my abdomen since I'd left surgery, so it's probably a useful thing to have, but I was sure psyched to get rid of it. So the nurse snipped off the sutures using sterile scissors, which hurt a little. Then she just pulled on the thing, and it was absolutely the most bizarre feeling I've ever experienced. It didn't hurt at all, but it was an extremely strange sensation of something moving inside of my abdomen. Maybe if you've ever been pregnant and felt the baby move, it might compare to that, but I haven't, so I had nothing to compare it to. It was just weird.
But anyway, with the drain out, I thought maybe I could take a shower. Nope... that would require a doctor's order. Okay, I played along, and just washed up as best I could in the sink, and changed into my loosest shorts and t-shirt that I had brought with me.
Around that time, my surgeon came back in with the Bariatric coordinator, Sandy, and told me he was ready to discharge me. I guess this is when I was supposed to ask the questions that I had come up with, but I didn't know that, and I hadn't written them down anyway, so I kind of blanked. So he just told me what meds he was going to send me home on (Vicodin and pepcid) and then said he would go write it up, and see me in his office in a few weeks. In retrospect, I would have liked to ask when I can start exercising, and when I can go swimming. But I am a smart girl, I can figure stuff out on my own.
Finally, around noontime, my husband showed up, and probably not a moment too soon either, because they were definitely ready to be rid of me. Almost as soon as he walked into the room the discharge nurse came in behind him, and handed me my paperwork. She definitely wasn't answering any questions. So I signed, hopped in the provided wheelchair, and was wheeled out to my hubby's car in record time. Hospital stay over! I am completely without medical supervision until my follow up appointment on the 21st! I guess I'll end this entry here, and talk about being at home, and starting purees in a later post. Goodnight!