SillyAuntDi

Wednesday it all changes. I had a couple mini panic attacks over the weekend. I just burst into tears in the shower. I had to do deep breathing exercises a few times to settle down my nerves. I'm not second-guessing my decision. I stand firm behind it. I'm ready and excited. The unknown is what is grating at me...how much pain, how long will it last, what happens if I...all those crazy little thoughts that just won't quick knocking on my brain. Add to the crazy the fact that I've been off the NSAIDs I take for the arthritis in my feet and knees for almost a week now. I hurt everywhere. There is no relief. Tylenol is a joke. I tried to rest this weekend, but just moving up the stairs to my bedroom was a chore. I know this will get better, but wow...I didn't realize how much the meds helped until I couldn't take them anymore. Then, I decided this weekend to begin the process of kicking the caffeine out of my system. I didn't figure that would be so hard since I don't take in that much each day. I was wrong. My head hurts. At least I kicked the soda habit over a year ago. That helps. Tomorrow is a full day of clear liquids. I giggle when I think about the instructions to take a shower and use a q-tip to clean out my belly button. Then, at 5:45 am Wednesday, I report for Band duty! So, now I'm putting one foot in front of the other, taking deep breaths, and repeating to myself "I CAN."

I had all my panic moments over the weekend. Today, as I sip my clear liquids, I'm pretty calm about what is going to happen tomorrow. So, take a deep breath with me and let all the nerves go with the exhale. It's going to be great!

I'm also scheduled for September 11! I'm past any fears I may have had and just excited! Good luck to you!

I spent the day yesterday watching (more) videos, signing consent forms, asking lots of questions, talking to my nutritionist, and having some final pre-op testing done. I now have a nice bruise where they stuck me with a needle...I'm a "challenge" when it comes to drawing blood. I have my marching orders. Surprisingly, no official pre-op diet until the day before surgery. Then, it's Clear liquids. But, the surgeon knows I'm already trying Protein shakes, cutting out carbs, and trying to lose some pounds before the surgery and it made him smile. He calmed any last nerves I had about my decision. And, he acknowledged that I'm ready. So, I'm just counting down days to September 11. Then, my new life begins!

I've been scheduled for September 11, 2013 since the middle of July. I needed to get past a planned vacation and a few other schedule barriers and then I would be banded. Somehow, until those things passed it seemed so far away. Now, vacation is over and the other scheduled items are finishing up this week. WOW..this just got real! One week from tomorrow! I have my pre-op appointment tomorrow and I have a feeling my head will be spinning with the reality of it all. I'm not second-guessing or even scared. I'm ready and excited. I just can't believe it's so close!!!!

I had to say my own good bye to milk many years ago. I don't like the hives it gives me It was a hard break-up.

I'm also scheduled for September 11. I'm so ready and excited!

I'm scheduled for September 11. So, we can be buddies I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. But, this forum is awesome. I've learned so much here. So, while I'm scared, I'm confident that I can do it. We can handle this

I've told my story on a similar thread. I'm being very careful who I tell. I have fingers left over when I count the friends/family that I've told. I have more anxiety about people judging me and watching me than I do about the actual procedure. I've always had issues with people knowing/judging what I eat...from childhood. I'm scheduled for surgery on September 11. My counselor and I are working on my issues and she and I have agreed that for now, I don't have to tell people. I don't have to lie, either. When asked, if I'm comfortable telling the person the WHOLE story, then I will. If not, then I just have to say, I'm watching what I eat and trying to exercise more. That's not a lie. Funny thing, though...I have absolutely no problem telling complete strangers I'll never see again exactly what I'm doing. The guy who delievered and set up the new treadmill in the house..told him. The lady at the grocery store giving me a rain check for the protein powder on sale...told her. The lady at the plus-size clothing store...told her. But, the lady in the office next to me...NO WAY. LOL. I realize my issues are not rational. My counselor says that's a good sign...we'll see. I did slip up while talking to a co-worker yesterday and it just came out of my mouth. He smiled and said "good for you." I have a feeling I'm eventually not going to keep secrets. I may be so damn proud of myself for taking control of my life again that I want to sing it from the rooftops...but for now, I'm just humming.

I have been the "fat friend" my whole life! I also decided to "own" myself, but it was in my thirties instead of my twenties. I've decided that who I am has nothing to do with the number on the scale. BUT...I need to be healthy. And if any of my "friends" end up feeling cheated because they lost their "fat friend" and find no place for the real me in their life...so be it. I've vowed to be true to myself. It's all about me, baby!!!! (LOL...I'm not really that selfish, but it's fun to say that!)

Oh..and before you ask...yes. My counselor and I are discussing why I worry about other's opinions of what I choose to eat .

I have only chosen a few people to tell. Maybe 5 family members and 7 coworkers/friends. I have had issues all my life with feeling like I'm judged based on what I put in my mouth. Not so much the weight on my body, but the food that literally enters my mouth. I've lost a significant amount of weight in the past that drew a lot of unwanted attention from people that never gave me the time of day before. They suddenly felt the need to discuss their meals and exercise plans with me. Then, when the weight started to creep back on (due to medical issues and a new food allergy), they started commenting on my food choices. Instead of asking me why the sudden change happened...they passed judgement on my food intake. So, when I finally came to the decision to pursue the banded life, I immediately made an appointment with my counselor to discuss my anxiety. I'm terrified of what people will say when I start losing weight again...and who will pop out of the woodwork to become my new buddy. I don't want to feel like people are watching my food choices. I don't want to feel like I have to explain anything to anybody. So, she empowered me with the permission to not tell. No, I don't have to lie, but I can simply say I'm working hard and making changes. I don't have to go into detail. And, I have permission to say I don't want to discuss it since it's a personal matter. My family members that know are already familiar with the procedure and have committed to helping me stay "on track" and my friends who know are thrilled. They know how I struggle and they understand my "issues." So, yes...I want to be of service to others who are curious about the process and I can do that here with my virtual friends . And, I want to eventually share with anyone who asks. But for now, I don't have to. And, that's OK.

I was what you would call a "thick" child up until the age of 9. I wasn't fat, but I wasn't thin. Then I had some medical stuff happen and I heard a surgeon say "she will probably have trouble with her weight now." Well, that was when I stopped thinking of myself as thick and started thinking of myself as fat. Then, after some more humiliation at the hands of an adult in charge (no one in my family, but a teacher of sorts), I just decided that I would be fat. I see pictures of myself from high school and I wonder why I couldn't see how perfect I was back then...but that was then. Now, as a 40-something adult, it's clear I'm fat. Not just fat, but morbidly obese. (I still cringe at that term.) I've got arthritis in my knees and feet. My blood pressure ticked upwards for a few years until I was put on meds. About a year ago, I tried yet another attempt at Weight Watchers (which is a fantastic program and has taught me all about great food choices but something is just missing for me). When it became clear that WW wasn't going to be enough, I heard my PCP's voice in my head. Then I heard my knee doctor's voice in my head. Then, my foot doctor's voice joined the ruckus. The band is not a lazy way out, they said. The band is a great choice, they said. I finally listened. And now I'm scheduled for surgery on September 11. I'm so excited and ready! I have all my ducks in a row...all my expectations are in check. I'm ready to put in the work and change my life!

Great job! I'm expecting a slow weight loss, but totally expect a certain amount of frustration that I won't be "supermodel thin" by next summer...lol (I wasn't that thin even at birth...) But, I hope to show permanent improvement just as you have! Keep up the good work and remember attitude is more than half the battle...if you think you can, then you will. Good luck!

I'm still a bit new to the forum. I have a surgery date of 11SEP13. This group is great and I've learned so much since joining. Good luck to you on your journey!

My uppper GI shows a hiatal hernia as well. The jerk who did my procedure and told me about the hernia went on a tirade when he figured out I was going to do the Band. He stood there at the foot of my bed in the recovery area and blasted me for my decision basically calling me stupid. Said that people with the band end up getting the bypass so I should just go ahead and to the bypass first. I just gritted my teeth, took deep breaths, smiled at him nicely and said "thank you for the information." He is NOT my surgeon. Two days later I was cleared for surgery by my insurance. The surgeon's office called me to schedule my date. I told the lady there about the experience and she was horrified. Yes, when my surgeon gets in there and sees the hernia, he will fix it when he places the band. No, I'm not stupid for making the choice I've made...it's MY CHOICE. She calmed down my anger and made me feel much better about the situation...especially when she said that everyone in that office would pay to be in the room if the jerk ever spoke to me again like that. Yes, the jerk is part of the practice where I am going, and nobody likes him very much. But, I'm sure now it's in my chart to not put us together for any visits in the future. Stand up for your choice. We all have reasons for the choices we make. I'm very comfortable with my decision. And, I'm three weeks away from seeing it come to be...and very excited!

I went through a period of hair loss last summer. My dermatologist told me it was from a change in meds and a weight loss (that didn't last, of course). She told me that I could use the nioxin treatments. But she also suggested including Biotin in my Vitamins. So, I switched Multivitamins to one with biotin and I noticed a change. So, maybe you could visit a dermatologist to make sure nothing else is going on. That is what my primary care provider suggested last summer. I did not choose to use the nioxin treatments. Instead, i've been using a new Redkin line of hair care products called Intra Force. It's aimed at women with thinning hair. I LOVE it. My hair stylist gets it for me, but I first bought it at Ulta (if you have one of those nearby). My hair is doing very well. Of course, my surgery date is next month, so I'm prepared for another round of hair loss. But, this time I have tools to battle it Good luck!

Raleigh, NC

I have a few items that I "loaned" to a friend with the understanding that when I could get back in them, she had to give them back. I can't wait to collect them from her!

I've been on vacation, so I missed this thread until now. I'm scheduled for September 11. I'm so EXCITED! My nervousness has settled and I'm READY! Let's do this!

Hi and CONGRATS! I'm scheduled to be banded on September 11. I'm so excited. But, I've been very careful who I have told about my decision. I've only told a very few friends...ones I knew would be supportive. I've started telling some of my family members as well, as the date gets closer. So far, thankfully, the response has been..."WOW! I'm so happy for you!" This will make it better for me when I finally find that person who won't have that reaction. So, I totally understand being selective in who you tell. I wish you continued success on your journey.

Congrats! Thanks for sharing. I'm eager to be banded and get started on my journey You gave me that little dose of inspiration I needed today.

Congrats! Well done. I'm so inspired Cannot wait to be banded!

Being mindful of ourselves and our surroundings is one of the toughest things to accomplish. And, I'd say you are well on your way to being mindful of your eating. You recognized your situation and you took a step to change it. That's awesome! Kudos to you!

I've been lurking here for awhile and I've decided you all are wonderful. I'm scheduled to be banded September 11, 2013. I'm so excited...and terrified at the same time. It's been so helpful seeing people on here talk about all the issues that scare me. How you support each other is so awesome. I've struggled with weight issues since I was a kid. I've done all the diets with temporary successes. It's frustrating. I've struggled with the decision to have a bariatric surgery. "It's cheating. I can do it on my own. blah blah blah...." But, somewhere deep in my mind, it clicked. And, I started reading. It's not the easy way out. It's not cheating...and clearly I cannot do it on my own. So, to the complete shock of my primary care provider...I started the process. She's thrilled. I'm thrilled. My friends who know what's going on are thrilled! I'm surrounded by supportive people. I'm ready. So, here's to a new "banded" life. Here's to no blood pressure meds, lower doses of pain meds for my arthritis, better sleep, more energy, and happier days! Let the fun begin. Thanks for being here to answer questions the past few weeks...even if you didn't know you were doing it. I hope you'll continue to be around...I will Have a great day!