Royalrags

I was able to eat another jello cup and a sugar free Popsicle It's strange because I can feel my stomach making sounds like its hungry but i don't have an appetite for food. in an hour i will try to drink a protein shake. I've been reading a lot of blogs and comments on here and its making my head spin. I am worried about getting filled. some people said it hurt and they didn't feel good after the shot. I was under the impression that they numbed the port site before injecting you with the needle??
 
I was happy when I saw my friend gabby yesterday. She gave me a hug and looked at me and said you look great and she noticed that I lost weight. That felt great to hear someone say 327 looked great. I'm sure I am less than that. I just don't want to face the scale because It's not really about the numbers. its about how i feel. coming from 379/380 all the way to the low 300's is awesome. I can walk down a flight of stairs now without slumping over or being out of breath. I can walk on a treadmill for an hour at a pace of 2.0-2.6. and I know once i am able to workout again I will continue to progress. My goal is to be able to run. i have a little niece and a little sister that I want to be able to chase around.
 
since I have an extra day off I will spend it trying to relax and focus on getting better. My life has already changed. I've meet three people here who inspired me and many others whose stories have help me. I wish they were in chicago or close around my hometown. I could use a buddy during these times. it helps to talk to people who know what you are going through. ive vented enough for now. enjoy your day. sorry about my randomness and grammar. I am not going to spend much time worrying about that, simply just expressing myself.

I had considered the lap band before but shied away because I really wanted to have my second child close in age with my darling daughter. So I spent the past 8 months trying and found out two weeks ago I am not ovulating due to my size. GREAT!! So my options are the terrible hormones that will make a raging pain or peeing on sticks everyday and tracking things and temperature readings!!! What a nightmare and the stress from that would make it even harder... JOY! So my other option is a drastic change. I've been dieting and working out for a the past 3-4 years with little victories and even bigger loses. So now I am doing the lap band I have my first appointment in July along with my first classes. I am excited and terrified. I'm hoping to make changes in my life that will help my daughter grow up strong and proud of me and that will help me to live a longer healthier life. csal,ld;k

Yes I had me two glasses of wine last night. Ugh! I sorta feel bad about it. This week has been a little bit stressful for me at work and my monthly friend is still here. Today will be day 12 but at least my chocolate and greasy food craving are gone.
So why did I decided to drink? My original plan was to wait until my 30th birthday but I started 50 days too early. I noticed I was getting irritable at both of my jobs and it is okay at job one but at job two my being irritable is unacceptable! I work at day care and I can’t be like that because kids sense these things. My kids need to be surrounded in a happy go lucky environment. So I ended it by unwinding the best way I know how… drinking.
 
 
My tolerance of drinking has changed a lot! Before I was banded I can finish 2 bottles last night I had two glasses and I was done. I woke up this morning had my protein drink and workout for 40 minutes. Also according to my Wii fit I lost 1.6 pounds! Woo hoo! This weekend I will be taking care of me. I have a busy day plan for myself. Thanks for reading

Tomorrow I get to add Chicken, turkey, pasta, bread, rice, nuts, raw fruits and veggies. I feel like things are going back to normal but I am scared. So what happen to my momentum? It still here but my fear has taken over for a bit. So why am I afraid now? I know I was going great and follow my post op diet to a T but now I want to stay in the post op diet zone? Is this my new default? My old default was me drinking a bottles of wine and eating at Jack in the box. But now I just want to eat mashed potatoes and sea food forever. What happens if I can’t handle chicken or turkey? My biggest fear is me getting stuck or throwing up. I hate being sick because it sucks. I especially hate getting sick when it’s my fault. Its like waking up with a hangover so you avoid getting wasted like that again. I know I can do this but my plan is to add new foods in slowly. Trust me I am not planning on over doing it but I will educate myself.
Thanks for reading.

Ok I feel like a total failure today.
I'm lightheaded Yesterday I felt great!! Today I am right back to the light headedness When does this get better? I am going to look into the vertigo meds that were suggested the other day, but I was soo happy yesterday, I felt absolutely wonderful! I woke up feeling great, ate some cottage cheese, then boom... the vertigo/light headedness sets in. SMDH.. Ugh!
 
But on the plus side...kinda,
My shorts are usually very snug, but yesterday I could pull them off and on without even unbuttoning them! I was like YEAAAAH!!
So this morning I figured I would hop on the scale (after my bm of course) to see what happiness the scale was going to show..... NOT. A. DAMN. CHANGE.
I know, I know. This is an NSV. Before the shorts were snug on me and I had to unbutton them to go to the bathroom, now I can just ''pull them down'' and they are loose. That is a good thing, and yes you can lose inches without losing weight. I know that.
It's just frustrating because I feel I hardly eat ANYTHING and it's not showing where I want it to.
I think I am going to go back to using myfitnesspal so I can keep track of how many calories I am eating.
 
Oh and to top it off, we have no water in our house. The city that I live in decided that we have a leak somewhere in my neighborhood and shut the water off. No warning, no nothing. Just don't flush!!
 
Boy I am just a ray of freaking sunshine this morning huh?
 
I will try to amend this post this evening with something positive that's happened today... but until them BLAH!